Chapter Fourteen

Staring at the flushed, determined face before him, Akagi felt something roar to life inside of his body. His parents were stunned, their skin drained white, and his mother looked as though she was going to faint.

"Excuse me?"

"I said the wedding's off." This time there was no mistaking it. There was no hesitation. The older man frowned.

"This is not a nice joke, Sakuragi—"

"It's not a joke."

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"It's not a joke," he said seriously, and something in his expression must have conveyed that he was, in fact, not pulling anyone's leg and that he was, indeed, canceling his wedding on the day of its planned schedule. His heart wrenched when an image of Haruko flashed in his mind, her smiling face, to be replaced with that of a face marked with tears. It took him a while more before he realized that the familiar curve of cheek was not an illusion, and that the woman in front of him, standing at the foot of the stairwell, her eyes widened in shock, was in fact the one he had been supposed to marry that day. Hurt flared in his gaze as she clung to the railing for support, staring at him.

God, I'm so sorry for all of this.

"What's going on, Sakuragi?" The elder Akagi's voice was low.

He shook his head to clear the flood of doubts that would help nothing now. He pushed away the indecision and inhaled deeply, trying not to think of the pain in her eyes, the betrayal she must view him with, looking past the weary face to the white one beyond.

"I need to speak to Haruko-chan. Please."

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She watched, her knuckles turning whiter in their death grip. Please don't let this be true. Please don't let this be true.

Silently, her family parted to give way to the figure standing illuminated by the gentle sunlight. Somehow, the contrast was cruel, that in softness there was harshness present, and she knew that everything she had heard was truly happening, and not a figment of her imagination.

Why?! Her mind was wailing in anguish at her but outwardly she stayed calm except for a trembling of her lip. And she stood there, watching, watching as he stepped closer, his expression a mask she did not recognize.

He stopped an arm's length away from her and bowed sharply, and when he raised his head she could have sworn she saw the glimmer of tears at the corner of those eyes. She couldn't speak, didn't trust herself to speak, and yet suddenly she heard her voice, remarkably controlled as it left her throat.

"Why?"

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He could only stare on miserably at her. Her composure was threatening to crack.

I need this, Haruko-chan...damnit, it's got nothing to do with you. He could tell how much she was hurting, and it ripped him apart inside. It's me…I can't go through with this…not just yet…the confusion is too much…I don't want to marry you with regret, Haruko-chan.

As he spoke those words aloud, he kept his gaze on her, his brain screaming at the grief he was inflicting. But it didn't matter so much, somehow. It was the right thing to do. "There's no other way," he whispered softly, before bowing his head. Please forgive me…I need time, Haruko-chan. I need to sort my life out before I do anything.

"I understand."

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Long after he had left, long after her eyes had followed his body to the door and witnessed its leaving, the memory of his voice, of his words, still echoed mercilessly in her head.

I don't want you to marry me with regret either, Sakuragi-kun.

She could hear voices, concerned voices, above her head somewhere. What were they saying?

But…how could you do this to me?

She was being lifted, carried up, with the voices still buzzing above her head. She didn't take notice of them.

Why did you change your mind?