Bitter Fish

by Daughter of Omega

Okay, so it isn't really a parody/spoof, but this doesn't really fit into a category. I had to write a story for school about what a fish at an aquarium thinks during the day, and what he thinks when he sees me.

I'm hungry. These asinine fools who run the aquarium should know better than to keep a shovelnose guitarfish wanting food. Hungry! My life is not fun. Ugh. I thought it'd be great here (when I was fishnapped), but NO! The only things that happen aaall day: The pudding-headed officials starve me, and then the buffoons they call "paying customers" are allowed to do whatever they want to my tank; tap it, yell at me through it... Get used to it, folks: I don't do tricks. I'm not Shamu.

Ah, jeez. Here comes another one. A blonde. Oh, I'm sure she'll know not to tap the glass. Ugh. Oh, great. This one's bright. She's trying to write on the paper (with a pen) while holding it vertically on the glass. Come on dear; pens only write down. Plus, there are lights in the tank. I bet she can't even see what she's writing. And now I can't even people-watch! Why do people hate me? Oh, Lord, now she's pointing at me. Yes, I'm a fish. Get over it.

Finally! Her friends are pulling her away. Good. I might have gotten a bit too angry and done something I might regret. Well, she's gone, but there are millions more like 'er in the world... Ugh. Maybe if I just sit real still at the bottom of the tank, people will think I'm a rock...