Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, as much as I want to. I'm just borrowing them. I'm not making money.

AN: Another new idea. How's this one? Not beta-read yet, will be reposted when it's fixed...I hope it's understandable…ARGH!!! Thank you Reviewers!!
This part may be a bit confusing, but please read the note on the bottom. It will NOT be what you think!! ^.~

'blah blah' denotes thoughts


Unsure Feelings
Part 10: More than a Nightmare


Heero quietly entered Katryna's room, toweling off his hair. Katryna was writing something in a black book. She looked up as he entered and smiled.

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?" Heero asked as he stood at the end of the bed, rubbing the water from his hair. She shrugged.

"Journal writing."

"Hm?" Heero walked to her desk and dropped the towel onto her chair before walking back to the bed. He had changed from his usual spandex shorts and tank top to just a pair of shorts.

"Wanted to write when I had time, what I know, in case I forget, or in case I need to remember something. I already lost the memories of my childhood. I don't want to lose any more." She murmured quietly. Heero nodded and sat down on the right side of the bed as Katryna was sitting on the left side. She blinked.

"You sleep only in boxers?"

"Hn. I always have. Why?"

"Oh yea. Perfect Soldier doesn't get cold ne?" She grinned and yawned.

"Hey." He protested. He yawned as well. "Let's get some sleep."

"Uh huh." Katryna leaned over to her bedside table and opened the drawer, dropping the book and pen in. Closing it, she keyed in a code to lock it.

"Don't trust me?" Heero asked. Katryna shook her head.

"Don't trust Duo." She corrected. Reaching up, she switched off the light by the switch at the wall by her bed. The ceiling light switched off, but a small, dim light filled the room from under her desk.

"Nightlight? What Gundam Pilot needs a night light?" Heero asked, watching as Katryna lay down. She made a face at him.

"So I'm afraid of the dark. Is that a problem Mr. Yuy?" She smiled sweetly, her eyes daring him to say yes. With a dry chuckle, he shook his head.

"I just wondered why you needed a nightlight when I'm here, that's all."

She blinked at him. "Good point." She smiled. "Want me to turn it off? Does it disturb your sleep?"

Heero shook his head, reaching over to push her down as she sat up, and pulled the covers up to her chin.

"It's fine." He said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes at the kiss, opening them again to search his eyes.

"Heero, why don't you act so open with the others? We're all friends. It makes life a lot easier if you don't have to hide."

"I was trained this way." Heero answered, looking away. "I was brought up this way."

Katryna sat up, studying Heero in the dim light. His face was expressionless, but he gripped the blanket tightly. Gently, she tilted his head to look at her.

"I know you had a hard childhood Heero. You were brought up to be the Perfect Soldier. I know it's easier for you this way, without emotions. It's a big step for you to take to be with me. I understand that." She smiled. "The war will be over soon. After the war, we won't have to be like this again. We can be the teenagers we are. We can have fun, not be afraid of being found, and not have to hide. We can live without fear." Closing her eyes, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Promise me Heero, that after the war, you'll stay with me. You'll open up and live life to the fullest; live the life you never had. You'll try?"

Heero studied Katryna's eyes for a moment before nodding. "After the war, if we survive, I'll try. I promise you Katryna."

Katryna nodded and leaned forward again, wrapping his arms around Heero's neck, hugging him. Heero immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her in his embrace.

"It's late." Heero murmured. "Get some sleep."

"Both of us." Katryna answered. They lay down, Katryna's head resting on Heero's shoulder, her arm flung across her torso. Heero wrapped his arm around her and held the hand flung on his body with his other hand. He gave her a reassuring squeeze, which she returned. Before long, Heero noticed that Katryna's breathing evened out and her grip relaxed, a sign of sleep. He rested his cheek against the side of her head.


'One day, when the war is over Katryna, I really will try. We will survive. We'll live through this war. I'll never leave you. I'll protect you forever.'

With that thought, Heero too, fell asleep.



* * *




"You'll be mine, Kataryna McKnowan. You ARE Kataryna McKnowan." A deep, husky voice said. Katryna looked around the deep darkness she was in. She couldn't see a thing. The voice that spoke rang around the darkness and she shivered.

"Can you guess who I am, Kataryna?"

Katryna jumped forward, away from the voice right by her ear. Laughter filled the void of darkness. It wasn't the cheerful type of laughter. It sounded evil, mysterious, and full of hate.

"Who's there?" She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Who do you think I am, Kataryna?"

"I don't know."

"You know me." A hand touched her shoulder and she jerked away.

"I'm not Kataryna. My name is Katryna."

"You are Kataryna McKnowan. You will see that you are."

"No! I'm Katryna! My name is Katryna!"

There was laughter again. "You can never hide from your own identity. You will be mine. You have no choice. It is fate, your destiny. One must follow the journey of life God has determined for them." And hand fell on her shoulder again, and this time, Katryna froze, unable to move. "And your fate is to be mine. Your fate is to kill Heero Yuy. You belong to me."

"I belong to no one!" A tear dropped down her cheek, but Katryna was unable to wipe it away.

"Surrender to your life, to the one that controls you. Surrender to me."


Katryna instinctively clutched Heero's hand as she fell through the torrent of nightmares. Heero awoke at the reflexive squeezing of his hand, feeling Katryna press closely against him, whimpering.

"Katy?" He whispered. She didn't answer, and he reached out to shake her. She jerked at his touch, but didn't awaken.

'Nightmare.' The word crossed Heero's mind and he frowned.


"I don't know you! Leave me alone!" Katryna struggled against the invisible steel arms that held her in place. The breath of the voice tickled her ear as it spoke again.

"Do you know what makes you so special? You have powers, Kataryna McKnowan. If you knew how to control it, you could easily destroy all of your enemies with a blink of your eye and a snap of your fingers. At the same time, you can save lives with a simple touch."

Her hands were brought up in front of her face, and Katryna bit back a cry. They were covered with blood. Fresh, red blood.

"You have killed many people."

"There is a war going on!" She protested.

"You have the power to save those you hurt. But instead, you kill them, leaving them to die. Like you did with your parents."

"I don't know my parents! Don't you dare talk about my parents either!"

"But I do know them." The voice laughed. "They entrusted you in my care. Come to me, Kataryna McKnowan, and I promise you that you will be able to do as you please."

"I will never leave my friends!"

"But you will stay and destroy them?"

"No!"

"It is too late Kataryna. The longer you stay with them, the more painful their death. Come with me, and you will save them."

An image appeared in front of Katryna's eyes. Heero was lying on the ground, bleeding from a wound at his chest.

"Heero!"

"You've killed him Kataryna."

"Gods, no!" Katryna choked back a sob, shaking her head. "Not Heero…"

"Come to me, and I will teach you how to control your powers. You will destroy and save, Kataryna McKnowan."

"No!" Katryna screamed, eyes wide. She was unable to turn away from the scene of Heero, reaching out to her, blood dropping from his mouth. She shook her head slowly, reading his lips.

"How could you kill them Katryna? How could you kill me? I loved you…" He mouthed. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he fell, unmoving.

"Heero!"

"Come to me, Kataryna…"


Katryna jerked awake with a gasp.

"Katryna."

She turned, eyes wide, to the voice. Heero was looking at her, concerned. The room was still dark, but Katryna had no idea what was wrong. She shook her head slowly, backing away from Heero.

"You died." She choked. "I killed you…"

"What are you talking about?" Heero asked. Realization dawned to him and he shook his head. "No Katryna, you had a nightmare."

"Nightmare…?"

Heero reached for her with a nod. The next second, Katryna's face was buried at his shoulder as she sobbed. Heero held her for some time, rubbing her back to relax her.

"What happened?" He asked after she calmed down.

Katryna took a moment before answering. "There was a voice, telling me that I am Kataryna McKnowan, that I had the power to both destroy and to save people. Said that I was powerful, that I was the one who would kill you. Told me to go to him, told me I knew him, and that I belonged him. He said that he would teach me how to control my powers. He showed me a vision of you Heero." She looked up at him. "You were dying. You asked me how I could kill them, how I could hurt you, how you loved me."

Suddenly, Katryna was conscious of the fact she had said the voice was a he. It suddenly seemed familiar. She bit her lip.

"Oh God…"

"What is it? It was only a nightmare Katryna, don't worry." Heero hugged Katryna. But she pulled back.

"I'll kill you Heero…that voice…that laugh…it was Zechs Merquise Heero. He's after me."

"He's after Kataryna McKnowan." Heero said impatiently.

"He thinks I'm Kataryna McKnowan. When I got captured, I was still in my Gundam when he invaded my thoughts. He took over my mind, and he controlled me. I didn't have a choice until the last minute when Duo shook me from his control with his own voice. But it as too late…"

"Sh…" Heero brushed Katryna's hair back from her face. "It'll be all right. You just had a nightmare. It's nothing more than a nightmare. I'm still alive." Heero raised her hand and pressed it against his chest above his heart. "You can feel my heart beating Katryna. I'm alive."

Slowly, Katryna nodded. She wrapped her arms around his neck again. "Gods Heero, I'm so afraid. I couldn't hurt you, really."

"No, you wouldn't intentionally." Heero answered. "But you are cutting off my oxygen supply." He added. Immediately, Katryna loosened her hold with a light giggle.

"Thanks Heero." She kept her face buried in the crook of his neck for a few more minutes before Heero pulled back.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be here."

Katryna nodded, lying back down. This time, she pressed against Heero. Heero wrapped his arms around her protectively. Before long, she was asleep.

Heero's eyes narrowed in the dark. He glanced at the clock. It was only 4 in the morning.

"Zechs Merquise, you won't ever get Katryna. Not even if you tell her about her powers, tell her who I am." He whispered. He closed his eyes, guiding his own mind to connect with Zechs.



"Heero Yuy." Zechs glared at the image of Heero appearing by his desk where he sat. Heero glared back.

"Leave her alone."

"Just because you were able to save her from me once, doesn't mean you can keep it that way. You may love her, but it is I whom she belongs to."

"You killed her family." Heero growled. "How could you?"

"It seems you have it all set up Yuy. Pretending not to Know Kataryna at all. Logging search files onto your computer for your comrades to find."

"You created OZ just to get Kataryna into the war. Just so you could have her. I won't let you."

"You will be helpless when she realizes the truth that she belongs to me."

The next second, Zechs let out a hiss as his chair tipped over and he found himself against wall, Heero's hand around his neck, dangerously cutting off his air. Dangerously close to snapping his neck.

"Don't forget that I'm stronger than you are Zechs." Heero growled. "Don't forget, you aren't the only one with powers. I will protect those I love. You will never succeed with your evil ways."

Zechs laughed. "If love conquered all Heero, your family would not be dead now. Neither would Kataryna'a family."

Heero's grip tightened and spots grew in front of Zech's eyes. The tight grasp disappeared, and Zechs drew in oxygen, glaring at Heero's back. Heero was on the other side of the desk again, back turned. He looked over his shoulder.

"Maybe so. But with your own evil ways, you killed your own family. Your beloved sister will be next."

Zechs let out a warning growl. "Don't you dare touch her." He warned. Then, he smiled lazily, picking up his glass of wine. "Reminds me. Why didn't you simply kill her in your Gundam when you had the chance?"

Heero let out a short chuckle. "It makes things much more interesting Zechs. You of all people should know. I won't kill her. She's innocent. But I will under the threat of Kataryna in your hold. You know what I can do." Heero turned back around. Zechs scowled at him.

"It was you then."

Heero nodded curtly. "It was I who turned Relena's mind to believe she was a pacifist. I made her believe so, made her promote peace against you. Then I turned your OZ men after her. You have no choice but to go along with it and pretend to be after her as well. Only I am able to undo the mind altering. I won't do that. It would put you in too much of an advantage, wouldn't it, Milliardo."

Zech's growled.

"It is only fair after you took away my ability to display my emotions in attempt to ensure Katryna will not love me. It seems you failed in that. She's able to bring my emotions out. Seems she's stronger than you suspected. There's much more I know, but of course, what's the fun in this if I tell you?" Heero smiled, cobalt eyes glaring dangerously.

Again, Zechs growled, this time baring his longer and sharp canines at Heero. "Next time I see Kataryna, I will claim her."

"Put your dog teeth away Zechs." Heero sneered. "For you will not have that chance. Like I said." He bared his own canines. "I will protect those I love. I will not claim her unless she is willing. That's the rule of our game. I see you have plans to break it, now that Katryna is against you."

"Her name is Kataryna." Zechs said. "You may be the Mind Master, but that doesn't mean I will always lose to you. Watch the girl carefully. You never know if you just may be careless. Then, it will be too late for you."

"You said so yourself that I am Mind Master."

Zechs was suddenly forced to his knees, head bowed. He growled, having no control of his body.

"Make sure you don't forget it."


With that, Heero's presence was gone from the room.
















Saori: New CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!! O.k. This is very important for clarification.

1)Both Zechs and Heero has powers. Zechs wants Kataryna as a weapon of destruction, while Heero wants to protect her. Heero loves her as well. According to what you have just read, it was Heero who took Kataryna from her home when she was young to prevent Zechs getting her, who in his rage, destroyed Kataryna's family. Heero also altered Kataryna's memory to think she had amnesia, and that her name is Katryna. He's trying to make sure Katryna doesn't know about her powers, so she won't get caught in this. This will ensure the battle is between him and Zechs only.

2) Zechs and Heero's canines. They are NOT vampires. I mentioned Mind Master, which is basically the most powerful supernatural being there is in this story. More will be explained later. By using their canines, they don't take blood from their victim, but enters a spell into their victim as well as their blood, to ensure the victim is theirs. Again, more will be explained later. If you are still confused, email me at kijo_saori@hotmail.com for clarifications. Please, Review and tell me what you think about this new plot twist!! THANK YOU!