Chapter Twenty Five
[A few days later]
He was so tired.
As he moved up the last few steps of the flight of stairs, he paused, shaking his auburn hair out his eyes. The past few days had been hectic, what with all the wedding plans being put on hold. He didn't know if he would ever regain the mentality to go through with it, but Haruko had understood enough to agree to postpone the marriage for a while, after he had met her, and explain his confusion. He had told her that he was troubled and that he had to clear his mind up if he were to marry her with no regrets.
*Flashback
Slowly, a pair of arms encircled him, even as they began to move gently to the sounds of crashing waves and fluted winds. It was then that he had been lost, in a haze of dreamy pleasure and certainty that this was right. It felt right. He closed his eyes and leaned against a broad shoulder, as they rocked together, humming softly with the music and reveling in the touch of each other…
*End of Flashback
Sakuragi Hanamichi pushed the swinging door open and stepped out into the familiar corridor, pausing as his eyes took in the brightness and adjusted to it. As he moved silently towards his apartment, the third door on the left, his hands fumbled in his pocket for the key.
*Flashback
The night passed in flashes. He was held tight against cool white sheets, stroked and explored in places he never knew existed to feel like that, and filled so satisfyingly it was almost against his will. It was a drunk, heady emotion that overtook him now, and made him do the things he had never imaged he could, or would, do.
If this is a dream…let me have it this one night…
*End of Flashback
Finding it, he put it in the lock and turned it just as a hand reached out from his left and pulled the door shut.
*Flashback
He woke the next morning to soft breathing beside him, and opened his eyes to see a fair face that, for all it's beauty and maturity, at that moment appeared nothing more than the naïve and innocent mask that could only be witnessed in sleep.
It was cool, but not cold. Sunlight was filtering in through the tall windows of the opposite wall, reflecting dappling beams on the polished floor and across the bed, and their skin. Turning his head slowly, he saw another, porcelain-skinned man, his ease apparent even in slumber, his features so rid of worldly emotion that he was touched to reach out a hand and pass it over one smooth cheek, just a swift brush.
What if it had all been a mistake?
He didn't know what had happened. Or what would happen. Getting up as unobtrusively as he could, he searched on the floor for his discarded clothes, pulled them on quickly, and walked to the door.
At the doorway though, he turned back, against the nagging insistence that he was doing the wrong thing, and envied them. Then he opened the door quietly and left.
What have I done?
*End of Flashback
A low chuckle, and he turned to meet a pair of smiling, tired blue eyes which brightened the small smile on full rose-red lips he remembered vividly. Even the scent of him was familiar, comforting and alive. But there was something else…
All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands
And touch me, hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words, is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I'd already know
Over that broad shoulder was another equally bright, calm sapphire gaze that took his breath away.
"Hanamichi."
The End