TITLE: Heart To Heart
AUTHOR: M. Edison
FEEDBACK: Oh yes please! Be gentle though. ;-)
CATEGORY: AU. Post Ep.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Spoilers for TSbyBS
SUMMARY: Moving on
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters or concepts of The Sentinel belong to me but Annie
& Jo Do
---------------
Heart to Heart
by M. Edison
---------------
Quiet.
Jim exhaled slowly, enjoying the peace and quiet the empty loft provided.
After the chaos generated by Blair's dissertation, the Sentinel needed the solitude.
He took another swallow of beer and closed his eyes, relaxing back against the couch.
No sooner had he done so, then the silence, that surrounded him, was broken by a growl.
Opening one eye he saw a cougar pacing back and forth in front of the balcony doors.
Annie was coming.
And, judging from the big cat's behavior, the lady Sentinel was at least mildly annoyed.
Of course, with her temper, there was no such thing as mild.
Rising to his feet, he abandoned his beer and walked over to the door. Opening it, he found
himself looking into the very peeved face of his lover.
"We need to talk." She practically growled, sweeping past him into the loft.
"Oookkayyy..." Jim said, closing the door. "About what?" He inquired, despite the fact he
already knew the answer.
She rolled her eyes as she hung up her long coat. "About last night's episode of Friends." She
cracked. "C'mon Jim, do you really have to ask?"
"No." He responded simply. "So, you're gonna read me the riot act about how I treated Blair,
right?"
"Wrong." She countered promptly. she shook her head then, sending her blonde locks swirling.
"Honestly, Jim, I love you but sometimes you can be as dense as a post." She smiled at him
slightly before glancing out at the skyline. "I keep forgetting you and Blair haven't been
Sentinel and Guide as long as Jo and I have."
"Makes a difference?" He asked, sitting on the couch.
Annie sat next to him, tucking her long legs up next to her. "Actually, yeah, it does. Either
that, or its our gender." She tossed a sly grin at him. "But with Jo and I...we're...well...
we're a lot more..." She bit her lower lip slightly. "Trusting of each other."
He raised an eyebrow. "I trust Blair." He stated quietly.
She snorted slightly. "Really? Could've fooled me." She sighed heavily. "Sorry, it's just...
well, you and Blair are very important to Jo and me and we hate seeing you guys like this."
"Like what?" Jim prompted, one hand tracing a pattern on her leg.
"Things are strained, Jim." She stated softly. "I mean, we all understand why you reacted the
way you did, when Blair's thesis got out."
He frowned. "And why did I react the way I did?" He challenged slightly, feeling his defences
going up.
"Relax, Jim, I'm not judging you." She assured him, feeling the tension in his voice. "Besides,
you can't say that you don't lash out when you're threatened or confused. You know you do, hell,
I do it to. But the difference between us is that, when the crisis passes, I talk to Jo about it.
You prefer to act like it never happened." Annie watched as Jim stood and walked to the balcony
doors. "And that's where you need to smarten up." She finished briskly.
"Smarten up?" He snapped, looking back at her. "And how do I do that, oh Wise one?"
She groaned. "Try actually listening to me for once." She countered, her voice belying some of
the hurt she was feeling. "You're hearing the words but you're not listening to them. Do you
think Jo and I haven't had this problem before?" The female Sentinel stood and moved to join her
counterpart. "We're Sentinels, Jim. And the closest person in our lives is our Guide. They're our
best friends. Closer than siblings. That's something we both agree on, right?"
Jim grudgingly nodded. "Right."
"Well, do you also agree that Sentinels are, at least to some degree, very primal and instinctual?"
She continued. "In a lot of ways, we behave like the animals that our spirit guides are."
He hesitated but nodded.
"And when we're hurt, we do what any animal does, lash out at anyone who gets too close. Problem
is, the person who's getting to close is usually our Guide." Annie dropped her gaze. "When my
senses first came online, I was in my late teens, Jo was even younger, and trust me, that is not
a good age to be dealing with hyperactive senses. It was a very stressful period. Jo was working
on instinct, trying to help me, and most times she got it right, but there were times when she
didn't. And when that happened it usually resulted in me experiencing some sort of pain. And
naturally I'd lash out. At first, Jo was very understanding. She knew I was even more scared
than she was and that's where my anger was coming from. A fear motivated response. But
understanding it didn't mean that the hurt, generated by me lashing out, was any less severe."
She took a deep, steadying breath, the guilt brought on by the memories was so intense Jim
could see it in her eyes. "It got to a point where she looked at me and said flat out, that if
I didn't stop attacking her every time something went wrong, she'd leave. It wasn't something
she wanted to do but it would have been something she'd have to do for the sake of her own
emotional state. And Jim, trust me, if you keep lashing out the way you do with Blair. The same
thing is going to happen to you two." She reached out and placed her hand against his chest,
feeling his heart beating beneath her palm. "Blair is an amazingly strong man but he does have
a breaking point. And trust me, he's not that far from it right now. This last year has been
hell on the lot of us, but its been worse for you and Blair. First you almost lost him to Alex's
insanity, then, just as you two were getting back on track after that, the whole thing with Blair's
dissertation exploded..."
"Annie..." He began, but she shook her head.
"No, I'm not done yet." She informed him seriously. "He came to me, you know, after the publisher
sent those excerpts to the press. To apologize..."
"Apologize?" Jim frowned. "Why?"
She smiled. "What? You think there wasn't a chapter or two in there about female Sentinels? Me
in particular? My superior's, superiors, back in Toronto got wind of the dissertation and they
were threatening to pull me back there."
His frown deepened. "You never told me that."
Her smile took on a wry note. "Would you have even heard me if I had? You were rolling on
instinct then, Jim. And, unfortunately for us, those instincts are slightly skewed."
"How's that?"
"You expect everyone around you to betray you." Annie stated calmly, her voice devoid of any
emotion save concern. "You've been burned in the past so you consistently look for the same
betrayal from the people you know now. Myself included."
He exhaled loudly. "Annie..."
"Its ok, Jim." She assured him. "We understand it and we're willing to put up with it for two
reasons. One, we love you. And two, we're not exactly saints ourselves." She sighed again.
"Heaven knows, I've got a bit of a temper."
He snorted slightly. "A bit?" He asked incredulous. "A guy copped a feel once and you broke his
arm in four places!"
She shot a mischievous grin at her lover. "Instinct." She shrugged. "He's lucky he didn't end
up with a voice like Mickey Mouse."
He shuddered. "Sometimes you scare me."
"And sometimes you drive me crazy." She countered. "Blair told me what you said, y'know."
"Said?"
"The little speech about the brass ring?" She raised one slender eyebrow. "Jim, you practically
accused him of orchestrating the whole thing for the publicity!"
He flinched slightly. The conversation echoing inside his head. "I..." He exhaled loudly. "I
screwed up. You think I don't know that?" He demanded of her. "But, look at what I was going
through!"
"The same thing I was going through! The same thing Blair was going through! The same thing Jo
was going through!" She snapped back. "You weren't the only one who got blind sided by that! For
god's sake, Jim! We were all stressed. Blair was practically beside himself over it! You saw
that when he gave that press conference." Annie paused, sucking in a steadying breath. "Tell me
something, Jim." She began her voice low. "Was the man on that press conference the type of
person who would exploit his friend's gift for profit? For a reputation?" She reached out to cup
his cheek. "He's your best friend, Jim. Your Jim. For all intents and purposes, he's your other
half. Just as Jo is mine. Without them, we aren't Sentinels. We may be the ones with the
heightened senses but they're the one who give us our soul. A port in the storm, so-to-speak."
She exhaled. "I'm not saying that you're completely to blame for everything that happened, we
all reacted badly, but someone has to take the first step in this situation, if it keeps going
as is, things are going to get much worse than they already are." She walked across the loft to
retrieve her coat. "Talk to Blair, Jim. You both have things you need to get off your chest.
Whether you end up screaming at each other or not, you two need to talk. Take it from me,
screaming is a world better than nothing at all." She slipped into her coat and walked back to
him. "Ok?"
Jim sighed heavily then nodded. "Ok." He gently lifted her long hair out from under her collar.
"Where did you get so smart?"
"Jo." Annie responded promptly. "She's been pounding psychology into my head ever since she
started taking the stupid course."
He laughed and shook his head, before kissing her. "Dinner tomorrow night?" He asked.
She nodded, then spoke, her voice practically a purr. "And dessert."
"You're insatiable."
She laughed. "Blame it on those Sentinel instincts of mine." She shrugged. "As Blair would say,
'it's about ancient primal mating rituals.' Or something like that."
"Primal mating rituals? Why do I have the feeling you and Blair have had some...interesting
discussions."
"Cause we have." Annie grinned. "I'll see you later," She informed him, walking for the door.
Jim watched her go, then spoke again. "Yeah, sure."
-------
When Blair returned to the loft that evening, he paused in front of the door, Jo's lecture
ringing in his ears.
"Talk to him, Blair." She'd urged. "He's in just as much pain over this as you are. Maybe more.
You know how Sentinels like to beat themselves up over every mistake. Imagined or otherwise.
You two need to get this out in the open or its going to destroy you."
He had to admit, Jo had a point. He and Jim had been dancing around it for a month. It was the
big conversation that they didn't have. And it hung between them every time they were in a room
together.
He blinked in surprise when Jim opened the door.
"You comin' in or what, Chief?" The Sentinel asked, a glimmer or wry humor in his eyes.
"Yeah." He managed a grin. "Spaced out on myself."
Jim chuckled slightly. "I thought I was the one who was supposed to do that?"
"You are, we must've mixed it up again."
"So, how'd things go on the range?" Jim inquired, his gaze on the floor.
Blair hesitated slightly. "I'm not a half-bad shot." He joked. "Course, I'm no Sentinel." He
shuddered. "I just hate having to shoot at the heart. Even if it is a paper dummy..." He grinned
over at Jim. "I mean, for all I know, he could have a paper wife and six paper kids somewhere."
The other man rolled his eyes and aimed a swat at the back of his friend's head. "Smart ass."
"And a paper dog." Blair added, latching on to the familiar camaraderie like it was a lifeline.
"The poor guy. It's a bad way to make a living. Getting shot full of holes every day."
Jim shook his head. "You're some piece of work, Chief."
"Naturally." He shrugged. "So, what's for dinner?"
"I have no idea." Jim countered. "It's your turn to cook."
He slapped his forehead. "Aww..Man...I knew I was forgetting something."
"Order some Chinese." Ellison suggested. "We could do with a little Egg Foo Young."
"You mean you could do with a little Egg Foo Young." Blair countered pointedly. "One of
these days, Jim, you're gonna have to realize that Chinese food is not one of the major
food groups. Right after beer that is."
"Watch it, Sandburg." He warned with a grin. "Last thing I want to do is have to kill you
tonight." He gestured at the floor. "I just mopped the floor this afternoon."
"Imagine my relief." He said sarcastically, picking up the phone.
Jim fell silent as Blair finished dialling and held the phone to his ear. Someone answered a
minute later and he placed their usual order.
It took only a minute for him to finish and hang up.
"Chief," The taller man began, his voice serious. "Annie came by this afternoon."
"What? Something wrong with Jo?" Instant worry flashed into the younger man's eyes, completely
forgetting he'd only talked to his girlfriend a half hour before.
"She's fine. Annie's fine." Jim assured his friend. "But they are worried about us."
"Us?" He did his best to sound confused. "Why?"
He frowned slightly. "Because one of us hasn't ended up in the hospital for a month. Why else?"
He walked over to where Blair stood, next to the counter. "We need to talk, Chief. About the
whole thing with the dissertation."
"Jimmm..." Blair groaned. "I thought that was over with."
"It is. And it isn't, the whole situation may be fine with everyone else but there are some
things we need to talk about. We both said and did things that were coming from instinct not
the truth." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the kitchen's island.
"Annie flat out told me one of us needs to take the first step and she was right. The longer we
leave this the worse its going to get." He sighed. "Chief, I was in a bad place during that whole
thing but I did say things that I know now, and I knew then, weren't true. And whether you need
to hear them or not I need to say them." The Sentinel sighed and moved to the fridge to retrieve
a couple beers. "I basically accused you of orchestrating the whole thing for profit and..." He
passed one bottle to Blair then looked down at his own. "It wasn't right. I knew you'd never do
that...but..."
"You were scared." Blair nodded. "You weren't the only one, Man. Part of me wanted to hide out
under my bed and never come out."
He couldn't help smile at the image Blair's sentence produced. "Somehow I don't think Jo would
go for that."
The curly-haired man rolled his eyes. "Cute, Jim." he sighed. "It did hurt when you said that but
I also knew why you were saying that. And I knew you needed to say it. Maybe not those words but
you needed to express what you were feeling somehow. I'd rather that then you suppressing
everything and having it explode on someone else later. I mean, I know none of this would've
ever happened if I'd just stuck a stupid password on the file. But, maybe somewhere inside me,
I wanted Naomi to at least read it..."
The Sentinel shook his head. "No. I don't think so. You're not that kind of person, Chief. You
knew what publishing the dissertation would do. At least, while it still had my name plastered
all over it." He reached out to grip his friend's shoulder. "It was a honest mistake. Naomi
surprised you, you weren't thinking about passwords and security then. You were thinking about
your mom." His grin turned wry. "She does have a talent for that. She sweeps into a room and
everything else gets forgotten."
Blair slanted a glance at him. "Jim...she's my mom!"
He chuckled and held up a hand. "Relax, Chief, Annie's not that good with sharing."
"Neither are you." Blair countered with a grin. "If looks could kill, that patrolman from
yesterday would be in the morgue right now."
Jim looked slightly miffed. "He was staring at her." He said by way of explanation.
"Men tend to do that when there's a beautiful woman around." Blair returned patiently. "I've
seen you do it."
"Yeah, but Annie's mine." Jim said somewhat petulantly.
"Man, if she heard that she'd knock you six ways from Sunday."
Jim grinned. "Which is why you won't tell her, right?"
He pretended to consider that. "Wellll...She is my friend."
"Chief..."
"Ok. You can live. This time." Blair pointed a finger. "But no more possessive, macho statements
about Annie, got it?"
"Yes, Sir!" Jim snapped off a quick salute which brought another laugh from his friend.
The duo laughed for a few moments then sobered.
"Chief, are you sure about this?" He asked suddenly.
"About what?" Blair queried, already knowing the answer.
"The academy. Learning how to fire a gun. This can't be what you signed on for." He gazed at his
friend with a worried look on his face. "Don't lie, Blair. I don't want you doing this just to
please us. We're all more than proud of you already." Jim swallowed heavily. Where had the lump
in his throat come from?
Blair could easily see his friend's discomfort. Jim really wasn't that comfortable talking about
emotional subjects and yet he was obviously determined to talk about this one. There was
something about that act that struck a deep chord in him.
'Watch it, Sandburg,' He warned himself. 'You keep thinking like that and you'll end up hugging
Jim.'
"Its not being a cop that bothers me," He began slowly. "I've practically been one for almost
four years...It's the thought that if I learn how to use a gun, I may end up having to...to...
shoot somebody. Maybe even kill them. I'm not sure I can do that." The young man frowned. "But
at the same time, I don't want to have to sit in the truck while you go into some building where
you could get killed. Its not right. I mean, I'm supposed to be guiding you and it's in the job
description to watch a your back. Can't very well do that from the truck, now can I?"
"True. So, you want to stay in the academy?"
He hesitated then nodded. "I'll go through the academy but I'm not sure I want to carry a gun at
all times."
"That's what the glove box is for." Jim joked, feeling proud at the younger man's willingness to
answer truthfully. He paused, then felt his face grow solemn. "The last thing I want is you
changing." He smiled wryly. "I'd rather a neo-hippie, witch doctor than a grim-faced, short-haired
cadet."
He laughed, hooking a curl away from his face. "Is that why Simon called the head of the academy
and said," he deepened his voice to mimic the captain. " 'Under no circumstances is Blair
Sandburg's hair to be cut.'"
Jim started laughing. "I take it you heard about that?"
"Uh, huh." Blair's head bobbed. "His secretary told me. She was wondering what made me so
special, that the captain of Major Crime was calling, specifically about my hair,"
"What'd you tell her?" Jim questioned, spotting the mischief glinting in his friend's eyes.
"Not much, just that I had a hard ass for a partner and you'd make life hell for Simon is he
didn't call." Blair said, quickly dodging out of Jim's reach.
"You didn't?"
"Sorry, did."
"You didn't mention said partner's name, did you?" Jim queried plaintively.
"Well, no," He began, the other man starting to sigh in relief but his relief was short-lived.
"Not until she asked who my partner was, anyway." He grinned. "She wasn't all that surprised to
find out it was you."
"Was it Ellen?" Jim questioned wearily. "Ellen Alexander?"
He nodded, his grin widening.
Jim sighed, remembering the eccentric secretary. "She still have the wacked out beehive with all
the pens and pencils sticking out of it?"
Blair grimaced. "It is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. I swear, it defies gravity.
How the heck does she wash her hair?"
"The guys used to joke that it was a wig and that she had a stand next to her bed to put it on."
Jim chuckled. "Does it still shake like mad when she walks fast."
"Oh yeah, like a weeble."
"A what?" Jim looked over at him.
"A weeble. You know, the egg shaped toys that rock back and forth when you poke 'em." Blair
looked incredulous. "You mean you never had a weeble?"
He shook his head. "Sorry, Chief, I was too busy with my trucks and playing cowboys and Indians."
Blair snickered. "You played cowboys and Indians?"
"Yes, something wrong?"
"Oh no." Blair shook his head, grinning. "For some reason I thought you'd play Sentinels and
Cowboys. You know, protecting the tribe from marauding cowboys."
He rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I really worry about you, Chief."
"What about the rest of the time?"
"The rest of the time I'm scared of you." Jim grinned. He paused then and tilted his head
slightly, listening. "Chinese is here."
"You pay, I'll get the dishes."
"No, you pay while I get the dishes." He said, pushing the younger man toward the door.
"Why?"
"Your night to cook, Sandburg, so therefore you're the one who pays for the Chinese."
"Somehow the logic of that statement seems just a tad shaky."
"Like Ellen's beehive." Jim agreed. "But I'm bigger than you so you don't get a choice."
"Oh yeah," He countered, fishing in his backpack for his wallet. "Not if I call Annie and Jo.
Three on one? You'd be the one without the choice."
Jim chuckled. "Not if Annie sided with me."
"She wouldn't." Blair shot an evil grin at his Sentinel. "She likes me better."
He shook his head and went for the plates.
----------
The next morning Blair swung by the brewery before Annie and Jo left for work.
"Morning, handsome." Annie greeted him, swinging the door open before he had a
chance to knock.
"Morning yourself." He responded with a grin. "New earrings?"
She tugged on one earring in an unconscious gesture. "Yeah. Like 'em?"
He grinned at her. "They look fantastic." He gestured at her outfit as he
passed. "And so do you, by the way. So, where's my favourite doctor?"
"Upstairs." She responded, turning and walking into the kitchen. "Want some coffee?"
"Sure." Blair answered, following her.
"So," She poured the coffee and turned to face him. "Did you and Jim talk?"
"Yeah, a little." He nodded. "Mostly about me and the academy, staying in it I mean.
And he apologized for the stuff he said when the thing with the dissertation went down."
"Apologized?" She smiled. "You mean, said it in a roundabout way where he said it without
really saying it?"
"Yeah, that's it." He added some cream and sugar to his coffee then looked over at Annie. "Hey,
Annie..."
"Yeah?" She said over her shoulder as she fished in the fridge for the fresh milk.
"Did you ever have a weeble?"
"A weeble?" The blonde turned with a wide smile on her face. "Of course! I loved it. Why'd you
ask?"
"Well, Jim never had one." He looked slightly sad at the thought. "Every kid should have a
weeble. And since he didn't...I was wondering..."
"We should." She agreed. "Now, go get Jo up, she's going to be late if she doesn't hustle."
-----------
"So what time for dinner?" Annie inquired of Jim that evening as they walked into the parking
garage.
"Around Seven. Your place or mine?" Jim asked, pulling his keys out of his pocket.
"Yours. Blair and Jo have commandeered the brewery." Annie sighed ruefully.
Jim nodded. "See you at seven then." He said, dropping a kiss on her lips.
"Oh, Jim?" She called, remembering Blair's message. "You don't need to pick Blair up. He caught
a ride with Jo."
He nodded before climbing into the truck, completely missing the evil grin that danced across
her face.
-----------
"See you later!" Jo called out to Blair as he got out of her car and headed for the loft.
"Lemme know what he says!"
He nodded back. "Sure! See you in a couple hours!" He waved before disappearing into the loft's
building.
----------
When Jim arrived home he could hear Blair moving around inside the loft, obviously getting ready
for his date with Jo.
Smiling at the younger man's eagerness, the Sentinel reached out for the doorknob only to have
Blair open it before he could.
"Hey Jim! You're late!" The other man announced with a broad smile. "I'm usually the late one
not you, hey, have you seen my black sweater? The one with the grey stripe? I could've sworn I
washed it yesterday." His friend apparently forgotten, Blair moved off into his bedroom where
the sounds of rustling could be heard.
Jim laughed and shook his head. "Try the laundry basket." He suggested. "That's where you put
it after you ironed it." He called out, shrugging out of his leather jacket.
Blair reappeared in the doorway and nodded. "Right. Now, where's the laundry basket?"
He pointed to the object in question which sat next to the Blair's bedroom door.
Sandburg smiled sheepishly. "Right." He picked up the basket and ducked into his room again.
After snagging a beer from the fridge, Jim went up to his room to change his clothes.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the..." He trailed off, staring at the oval shaped object sitting on his bed.
It was a brightly colored clown.
It was a weeble.
"Sandburg?" He called down.
"Yes, Jim?" Came the innocent reply as the young man climbed the stairs.
"What is that thing?" Jim gestured to the weeble knowing Blair was right behind him.
"That, James," His friend informed him seriously. "Is a weeble. A toy."
"What is it doing on my bed?"
"Its your weeble."
"My weeble."
"Your weeble." He echoed giving his friend a little push up the stairs. "They're very good for
expressing any negative emotions. You punch him, he bounces back." Blair grinned evilly.
"Consider him my stand in."
Jim chuckled. "I haven't punched you."
"Yet. Did throw me into a wall once though, Joe Friday."
"Thanks, Chief." Jim walked over and poked the weeble which bobbed accordingly. "This is...its
nice." For some reason the gesture had touched the Sentinel more than he was willing to admit.
It was sort of a signal to him. A message that everything between the friends was fine.
He smiled, poking the weeble a little harder. "Y'know, Chief, this guy could definitely come in
handy. I'll have to get a picture of you to put on here of course..."
"Hey!" Blair protested. "Not a chance, Man."
He laughed, tossing a companionable arm around his Guide's shoulders. "You're right, its much
more fun torturing the real thing."
"No, no torturing the Guide!" Blair ordered.
"And who made up that rule?" Jim inquired.
"Annie." Blair grinned, his expression clearly saying. 'Argue with that one.'
"Well, far be it for me to argue with the great Anne Marie." He said, his voice full of
mock-solemness.
"She hears that one and you'll be very lonely, Detective." The curly-haired man informed him
with a wry smile. "So, what are you going to give me to buy my silence."
"Blackmail?" Jim grinned. "You've been spending too much time around me."
"Well, I've been saying that for a while." He
"Smart ass."
"And proud of it!"
The two men laughed again, their laughter a sign they were back on course. As always. Not much
could pull a Sentinel and Guide apart. Not even the Sentinel and Guide themselves.
finis
AUTHOR: M. Edison
FEEDBACK: Oh yes please! Be gentle though. ;-)
CATEGORY: AU. Post Ep.
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Spoilers for TSbyBS
SUMMARY: Moving on
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters or concepts of The Sentinel belong to me but Annie
& Jo Do
---------------
Heart to Heart
by M. Edison
---------------
Quiet.
Jim exhaled slowly, enjoying the peace and quiet the empty loft provided.
After the chaos generated by Blair's dissertation, the Sentinel needed the solitude.
He took another swallow of beer and closed his eyes, relaxing back against the couch.
No sooner had he done so, then the silence, that surrounded him, was broken by a growl.
Opening one eye he saw a cougar pacing back and forth in front of the balcony doors.
Annie was coming.
And, judging from the big cat's behavior, the lady Sentinel was at least mildly annoyed.
Of course, with her temper, there was no such thing as mild.
Rising to his feet, he abandoned his beer and walked over to the door. Opening it, he found
himself looking into the very peeved face of his lover.
"We need to talk." She practically growled, sweeping past him into the loft.
"Oookkayyy..." Jim said, closing the door. "About what?" He inquired, despite the fact he
already knew the answer.
She rolled her eyes as she hung up her long coat. "About last night's episode of Friends." She
cracked. "C'mon Jim, do you really have to ask?"
"No." He responded simply. "So, you're gonna read me the riot act about how I treated Blair,
right?"
"Wrong." She countered promptly. she shook her head then, sending her blonde locks swirling.
"Honestly, Jim, I love you but sometimes you can be as dense as a post." She smiled at him
slightly before glancing out at the skyline. "I keep forgetting you and Blair haven't been
Sentinel and Guide as long as Jo and I have."
"Makes a difference?" He asked, sitting on the couch.
Annie sat next to him, tucking her long legs up next to her. "Actually, yeah, it does. Either
that, or its our gender." She tossed a sly grin at him. "But with Jo and I...we're...well...
we're a lot more..." She bit her lower lip slightly. "Trusting of each other."
He raised an eyebrow. "I trust Blair." He stated quietly.
She snorted slightly. "Really? Could've fooled me." She sighed heavily. "Sorry, it's just...
well, you and Blair are very important to Jo and me and we hate seeing you guys like this."
"Like what?" Jim prompted, one hand tracing a pattern on her leg.
"Things are strained, Jim." She stated softly. "I mean, we all understand why you reacted the
way you did, when Blair's thesis got out."
He frowned. "And why did I react the way I did?" He challenged slightly, feeling his defences
going up.
"Relax, Jim, I'm not judging you." She assured him, feeling the tension in his voice. "Besides,
you can't say that you don't lash out when you're threatened or confused. You know you do, hell,
I do it to. But the difference between us is that, when the crisis passes, I talk to Jo about it.
You prefer to act like it never happened." Annie watched as Jim stood and walked to the balcony
doors. "And that's where you need to smarten up." She finished briskly.
"Smarten up?" He snapped, looking back at her. "And how do I do that, oh Wise one?"
She groaned. "Try actually listening to me for once." She countered, her voice belying some of
the hurt she was feeling. "You're hearing the words but you're not listening to them. Do you
think Jo and I haven't had this problem before?" The female Sentinel stood and moved to join her
counterpart. "We're Sentinels, Jim. And the closest person in our lives is our Guide. They're our
best friends. Closer than siblings. That's something we both agree on, right?"
Jim grudgingly nodded. "Right."
"Well, do you also agree that Sentinels are, at least to some degree, very primal and instinctual?"
She continued. "In a lot of ways, we behave like the animals that our spirit guides are."
He hesitated but nodded.
"And when we're hurt, we do what any animal does, lash out at anyone who gets too close. Problem
is, the person who's getting to close is usually our Guide." Annie dropped her gaze. "When my
senses first came online, I was in my late teens, Jo was even younger, and trust me, that is not
a good age to be dealing with hyperactive senses. It was a very stressful period. Jo was working
on instinct, trying to help me, and most times she got it right, but there were times when she
didn't. And when that happened it usually resulted in me experiencing some sort of pain. And
naturally I'd lash out. At first, Jo was very understanding. She knew I was even more scared
than she was and that's where my anger was coming from. A fear motivated response. But
understanding it didn't mean that the hurt, generated by me lashing out, was any less severe."
She took a deep, steadying breath, the guilt brought on by the memories was so intense Jim
could see it in her eyes. "It got to a point where she looked at me and said flat out, that if
I didn't stop attacking her every time something went wrong, she'd leave. It wasn't something
she wanted to do but it would have been something she'd have to do for the sake of her own
emotional state. And Jim, trust me, if you keep lashing out the way you do with Blair. The same
thing is going to happen to you two." She reached out and placed her hand against his chest,
feeling his heart beating beneath her palm. "Blair is an amazingly strong man but he does have
a breaking point. And trust me, he's not that far from it right now. This last year has been
hell on the lot of us, but its been worse for you and Blair. First you almost lost him to Alex's
insanity, then, just as you two were getting back on track after that, the whole thing with Blair's
dissertation exploded..."
"Annie..." He began, but she shook her head.
"No, I'm not done yet." She informed him seriously. "He came to me, you know, after the publisher
sent those excerpts to the press. To apologize..."
"Apologize?" Jim frowned. "Why?"
She smiled. "What? You think there wasn't a chapter or two in there about female Sentinels? Me
in particular? My superior's, superiors, back in Toronto got wind of the dissertation and they
were threatening to pull me back there."
His frown deepened. "You never told me that."
Her smile took on a wry note. "Would you have even heard me if I had? You were rolling on
instinct then, Jim. And, unfortunately for us, those instincts are slightly skewed."
"How's that?"
"You expect everyone around you to betray you." Annie stated calmly, her voice devoid of any
emotion save concern. "You've been burned in the past so you consistently look for the same
betrayal from the people you know now. Myself included."
He exhaled loudly. "Annie..."
"Its ok, Jim." She assured him. "We understand it and we're willing to put up with it for two
reasons. One, we love you. And two, we're not exactly saints ourselves." She sighed again.
"Heaven knows, I've got a bit of a temper."
He snorted slightly. "A bit?" He asked incredulous. "A guy copped a feel once and you broke his
arm in four places!"
She shot a mischievous grin at her lover. "Instinct." She shrugged. "He's lucky he didn't end
up with a voice like Mickey Mouse."
He shuddered. "Sometimes you scare me."
"And sometimes you drive me crazy." She countered. "Blair told me what you said, y'know."
"Said?"
"The little speech about the brass ring?" She raised one slender eyebrow. "Jim, you practically
accused him of orchestrating the whole thing for the publicity!"
He flinched slightly. The conversation echoing inside his head. "I..." He exhaled loudly. "I
screwed up. You think I don't know that?" He demanded of her. "But, look at what I was going
through!"
"The same thing I was going through! The same thing Blair was going through! The same thing Jo
was going through!" She snapped back. "You weren't the only one who got blind sided by that! For
god's sake, Jim! We were all stressed. Blair was practically beside himself over it! You saw
that when he gave that press conference." Annie paused, sucking in a steadying breath. "Tell me
something, Jim." She began her voice low. "Was the man on that press conference the type of
person who would exploit his friend's gift for profit? For a reputation?" She reached out to cup
his cheek. "He's your best friend, Jim. Your Jim. For all intents and purposes, he's your other
half. Just as Jo is mine. Without them, we aren't Sentinels. We may be the ones with the
heightened senses but they're the one who give us our soul. A port in the storm, so-to-speak."
She exhaled. "I'm not saying that you're completely to blame for everything that happened, we
all reacted badly, but someone has to take the first step in this situation, if it keeps going
as is, things are going to get much worse than they already are." She walked across the loft to
retrieve her coat. "Talk to Blair, Jim. You both have things you need to get off your chest.
Whether you end up screaming at each other or not, you two need to talk. Take it from me,
screaming is a world better than nothing at all." She slipped into her coat and walked back to
him. "Ok?"
Jim sighed heavily then nodded. "Ok." He gently lifted her long hair out from under her collar.
"Where did you get so smart?"
"Jo." Annie responded promptly. "She's been pounding psychology into my head ever since she
started taking the stupid course."
He laughed and shook his head, before kissing her. "Dinner tomorrow night?" He asked.
She nodded, then spoke, her voice practically a purr. "And dessert."
"You're insatiable."
She laughed. "Blame it on those Sentinel instincts of mine." She shrugged. "As Blair would say,
'it's about ancient primal mating rituals.' Or something like that."
"Primal mating rituals? Why do I have the feeling you and Blair have had some...interesting
discussions."
"Cause we have." Annie grinned. "I'll see you later," She informed him, walking for the door.
Jim watched her go, then spoke again. "Yeah, sure."
-------
When Blair returned to the loft that evening, he paused in front of the door, Jo's lecture
ringing in his ears.
"Talk to him, Blair." She'd urged. "He's in just as much pain over this as you are. Maybe more.
You know how Sentinels like to beat themselves up over every mistake. Imagined or otherwise.
You two need to get this out in the open or its going to destroy you."
He had to admit, Jo had a point. He and Jim had been dancing around it for a month. It was the
big conversation that they didn't have. And it hung between them every time they were in a room
together.
He blinked in surprise when Jim opened the door.
"You comin' in or what, Chief?" The Sentinel asked, a glimmer or wry humor in his eyes.
"Yeah." He managed a grin. "Spaced out on myself."
Jim chuckled slightly. "I thought I was the one who was supposed to do that?"
"You are, we must've mixed it up again."
"So, how'd things go on the range?" Jim inquired, his gaze on the floor.
Blair hesitated slightly. "I'm not a half-bad shot." He joked. "Course, I'm no Sentinel." He
shuddered. "I just hate having to shoot at the heart. Even if it is a paper dummy..." He grinned
over at Jim. "I mean, for all I know, he could have a paper wife and six paper kids somewhere."
The other man rolled his eyes and aimed a swat at the back of his friend's head. "Smart ass."
"And a paper dog." Blair added, latching on to the familiar camaraderie like it was a lifeline.
"The poor guy. It's a bad way to make a living. Getting shot full of holes every day."
Jim shook his head. "You're some piece of work, Chief."
"Naturally." He shrugged. "So, what's for dinner?"
"I have no idea." Jim countered. "It's your turn to cook."
He slapped his forehead. "Aww..Man...I knew I was forgetting something."
"Order some Chinese." Ellison suggested. "We could do with a little Egg Foo Young."
"You mean you could do with a little Egg Foo Young." Blair countered pointedly. "One of
these days, Jim, you're gonna have to realize that Chinese food is not one of the major
food groups. Right after beer that is."
"Watch it, Sandburg." He warned with a grin. "Last thing I want to do is have to kill you
tonight." He gestured at the floor. "I just mopped the floor this afternoon."
"Imagine my relief." He said sarcastically, picking up the phone.
Jim fell silent as Blair finished dialling and held the phone to his ear. Someone answered a
minute later and he placed their usual order.
It took only a minute for him to finish and hang up.
"Chief," The taller man began, his voice serious. "Annie came by this afternoon."
"What? Something wrong with Jo?" Instant worry flashed into the younger man's eyes, completely
forgetting he'd only talked to his girlfriend a half hour before.
"She's fine. Annie's fine." Jim assured his friend. "But they are worried about us."
"Us?" He did his best to sound confused. "Why?"
He frowned slightly. "Because one of us hasn't ended up in the hospital for a month. Why else?"
He walked over to where Blair stood, next to the counter. "We need to talk, Chief. About the
whole thing with the dissertation."
"Jimmm..." Blair groaned. "I thought that was over with."
"It is. And it isn't, the whole situation may be fine with everyone else but there are some
things we need to talk about. We both said and did things that were coming from instinct not
the truth." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the kitchen's island.
"Annie flat out told me one of us needs to take the first step and she was right. The longer we
leave this the worse its going to get." He sighed. "Chief, I was in a bad place during that whole
thing but I did say things that I know now, and I knew then, weren't true. And whether you need
to hear them or not I need to say them." The Sentinel sighed and moved to the fridge to retrieve
a couple beers. "I basically accused you of orchestrating the whole thing for profit and..." He
passed one bottle to Blair then looked down at his own. "It wasn't right. I knew you'd never do
that...but..."
"You were scared." Blair nodded. "You weren't the only one, Man. Part of me wanted to hide out
under my bed and never come out."
He couldn't help smile at the image Blair's sentence produced. "Somehow I don't think Jo would
go for that."
The curly-haired man rolled his eyes. "Cute, Jim." he sighed. "It did hurt when you said that but
I also knew why you were saying that. And I knew you needed to say it. Maybe not those words but
you needed to express what you were feeling somehow. I'd rather that then you suppressing
everything and having it explode on someone else later. I mean, I know none of this would've
ever happened if I'd just stuck a stupid password on the file. But, maybe somewhere inside me,
I wanted Naomi to at least read it..."
The Sentinel shook his head. "No. I don't think so. You're not that kind of person, Chief. You
knew what publishing the dissertation would do. At least, while it still had my name plastered
all over it." He reached out to grip his friend's shoulder. "It was a honest mistake. Naomi
surprised you, you weren't thinking about passwords and security then. You were thinking about
your mom." His grin turned wry. "She does have a talent for that. She sweeps into a room and
everything else gets forgotten."
Blair slanted a glance at him. "Jim...she's my mom!"
He chuckled and held up a hand. "Relax, Chief, Annie's not that good with sharing."
"Neither are you." Blair countered with a grin. "If looks could kill, that patrolman from
yesterday would be in the morgue right now."
Jim looked slightly miffed. "He was staring at her." He said by way of explanation.
"Men tend to do that when there's a beautiful woman around." Blair returned patiently. "I've
seen you do it."
"Yeah, but Annie's mine." Jim said somewhat petulantly.
"Man, if she heard that she'd knock you six ways from Sunday."
Jim grinned. "Which is why you won't tell her, right?"
He pretended to consider that. "Wellll...She is my friend."
"Chief..."
"Ok. You can live. This time." Blair pointed a finger. "But no more possessive, macho statements
about Annie, got it?"
"Yes, Sir!" Jim snapped off a quick salute which brought another laugh from his friend.
The duo laughed for a few moments then sobered.
"Chief, are you sure about this?" He asked suddenly.
"About what?" Blair queried, already knowing the answer.
"The academy. Learning how to fire a gun. This can't be what you signed on for." He gazed at his
friend with a worried look on his face. "Don't lie, Blair. I don't want you doing this just to
please us. We're all more than proud of you already." Jim swallowed heavily. Where had the lump
in his throat come from?
Blair could easily see his friend's discomfort. Jim really wasn't that comfortable talking about
emotional subjects and yet he was obviously determined to talk about this one. There was
something about that act that struck a deep chord in him.
'Watch it, Sandburg,' He warned himself. 'You keep thinking like that and you'll end up hugging
Jim.'
"Its not being a cop that bothers me," He began slowly. "I've practically been one for almost
four years...It's the thought that if I learn how to use a gun, I may end up having to...to...
shoot somebody. Maybe even kill them. I'm not sure I can do that." The young man frowned. "But
at the same time, I don't want to have to sit in the truck while you go into some building where
you could get killed. Its not right. I mean, I'm supposed to be guiding you and it's in the job
description to watch a your back. Can't very well do that from the truck, now can I?"
"True. So, you want to stay in the academy?"
He hesitated then nodded. "I'll go through the academy but I'm not sure I want to carry a gun at
all times."
"That's what the glove box is for." Jim joked, feeling proud at the younger man's willingness to
answer truthfully. He paused, then felt his face grow solemn. "The last thing I want is you
changing." He smiled wryly. "I'd rather a neo-hippie, witch doctor than a grim-faced, short-haired
cadet."
He laughed, hooking a curl away from his face. "Is that why Simon called the head of the academy
and said," he deepened his voice to mimic the captain. " 'Under no circumstances is Blair
Sandburg's hair to be cut.'"
Jim started laughing. "I take it you heard about that?"
"Uh, huh." Blair's head bobbed. "His secretary told me. She was wondering what made me so
special, that the captain of Major Crime was calling, specifically about my hair,"
"What'd you tell her?" Jim questioned, spotting the mischief glinting in his friend's eyes.
"Not much, just that I had a hard ass for a partner and you'd make life hell for Simon is he
didn't call." Blair said, quickly dodging out of Jim's reach.
"You didn't?"
"Sorry, did."
"You didn't mention said partner's name, did you?" Jim queried plaintively.
"Well, no," He began, the other man starting to sigh in relief but his relief was short-lived.
"Not until she asked who my partner was, anyway." He grinned. "She wasn't all that surprised to
find out it was you."
"Was it Ellen?" Jim questioned wearily. "Ellen Alexander?"
He nodded, his grin widening.
Jim sighed, remembering the eccentric secretary. "She still have the wacked out beehive with all
the pens and pencils sticking out of it?"
Blair grimaced. "It is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. I swear, it defies gravity.
How the heck does she wash her hair?"
"The guys used to joke that it was a wig and that she had a stand next to her bed to put it on."
Jim chuckled. "Does it still shake like mad when she walks fast."
"Oh yeah, like a weeble."
"A what?" Jim looked over at him.
"A weeble. You know, the egg shaped toys that rock back and forth when you poke 'em." Blair
looked incredulous. "You mean you never had a weeble?"
He shook his head. "Sorry, Chief, I was too busy with my trucks and playing cowboys and Indians."
Blair snickered. "You played cowboys and Indians?"
"Yes, something wrong?"
"Oh no." Blair shook his head, grinning. "For some reason I thought you'd play Sentinels and
Cowboys. You know, protecting the tribe from marauding cowboys."
He rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I really worry about you, Chief."
"What about the rest of the time?"
"The rest of the time I'm scared of you." Jim grinned. He paused then and tilted his head
slightly, listening. "Chinese is here."
"You pay, I'll get the dishes."
"No, you pay while I get the dishes." He said, pushing the younger man toward the door.
"Why?"
"Your night to cook, Sandburg, so therefore you're the one who pays for the Chinese."
"Somehow the logic of that statement seems just a tad shaky."
"Like Ellen's beehive." Jim agreed. "But I'm bigger than you so you don't get a choice."
"Oh yeah," He countered, fishing in his backpack for his wallet. "Not if I call Annie and Jo.
Three on one? You'd be the one without the choice."
Jim chuckled. "Not if Annie sided with me."
"She wouldn't." Blair shot an evil grin at his Sentinel. "She likes me better."
He shook his head and went for the plates.
----------
The next morning Blair swung by the brewery before Annie and Jo left for work.
"Morning, handsome." Annie greeted him, swinging the door open before he had a
chance to knock.
"Morning yourself." He responded with a grin. "New earrings?"
She tugged on one earring in an unconscious gesture. "Yeah. Like 'em?"
He grinned at her. "They look fantastic." He gestured at her outfit as he
passed. "And so do you, by the way. So, where's my favourite doctor?"
"Upstairs." She responded, turning and walking into the kitchen. "Want some coffee?"
"Sure." Blair answered, following her.
"So," She poured the coffee and turned to face him. "Did you and Jim talk?"
"Yeah, a little." He nodded. "Mostly about me and the academy, staying in it I mean.
And he apologized for the stuff he said when the thing with the dissertation went down."
"Apologized?" She smiled. "You mean, said it in a roundabout way where he said it without
really saying it?"
"Yeah, that's it." He added some cream and sugar to his coffee then looked over at Annie. "Hey,
Annie..."
"Yeah?" She said over her shoulder as she fished in the fridge for the fresh milk.
"Did you ever have a weeble?"
"A weeble?" The blonde turned with a wide smile on her face. "Of course! I loved it. Why'd you
ask?"
"Well, Jim never had one." He looked slightly sad at the thought. "Every kid should have a
weeble. And since he didn't...I was wondering..."
"We should." She agreed. "Now, go get Jo up, she's going to be late if she doesn't hustle."
-----------
"So what time for dinner?" Annie inquired of Jim that evening as they walked into the parking
garage.
"Around Seven. Your place or mine?" Jim asked, pulling his keys out of his pocket.
"Yours. Blair and Jo have commandeered the brewery." Annie sighed ruefully.
Jim nodded. "See you at seven then." He said, dropping a kiss on her lips.
"Oh, Jim?" She called, remembering Blair's message. "You don't need to pick Blair up. He caught
a ride with Jo."
He nodded before climbing into the truck, completely missing the evil grin that danced across
her face.
-----------
"See you later!" Jo called out to Blair as he got out of her car and headed for the loft.
"Lemme know what he says!"
He nodded back. "Sure! See you in a couple hours!" He waved before disappearing into the loft's
building.
----------
When Jim arrived home he could hear Blair moving around inside the loft, obviously getting ready
for his date with Jo.
Smiling at the younger man's eagerness, the Sentinel reached out for the doorknob only to have
Blair open it before he could.
"Hey Jim! You're late!" The other man announced with a broad smile. "I'm usually the late one
not you, hey, have you seen my black sweater? The one with the grey stripe? I could've sworn I
washed it yesterday." His friend apparently forgotten, Blair moved off into his bedroom where
the sounds of rustling could be heard.
Jim laughed and shook his head. "Try the laundry basket." He suggested. "That's where you put
it after you ironed it." He called out, shrugging out of his leather jacket.
Blair reappeared in the doorway and nodded. "Right. Now, where's the laundry basket?"
He pointed to the object in question which sat next to the Blair's bedroom door.
Sandburg smiled sheepishly. "Right." He picked up the basket and ducked into his room again.
After snagging a beer from the fridge, Jim went up to his room to change his clothes.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the..." He trailed off, staring at the oval shaped object sitting on his bed.
It was a brightly colored clown.
It was a weeble.
"Sandburg?" He called down.
"Yes, Jim?" Came the innocent reply as the young man climbed the stairs.
"What is that thing?" Jim gestured to the weeble knowing Blair was right behind him.
"That, James," His friend informed him seriously. "Is a weeble. A toy."
"What is it doing on my bed?"
"Its your weeble."
"My weeble."
"Your weeble." He echoed giving his friend a little push up the stairs. "They're very good for
expressing any negative emotions. You punch him, he bounces back." Blair grinned evilly.
"Consider him my stand in."
Jim chuckled. "I haven't punched you."
"Yet. Did throw me into a wall once though, Joe Friday."
"Thanks, Chief." Jim walked over and poked the weeble which bobbed accordingly. "This is...its
nice." For some reason the gesture had touched the Sentinel more than he was willing to admit.
It was sort of a signal to him. A message that everything between the friends was fine.
He smiled, poking the weeble a little harder. "Y'know, Chief, this guy could definitely come in
handy. I'll have to get a picture of you to put on here of course..."
"Hey!" Blair protested. "Not a chance, Man."
He laughed, tossing a companionable arm around his Guide's shoulders. "You're right, its much
more fun torturing the real thing."
"No, no torturing the Guide!" Blair ordered.
"And who made up that rule?" Jim inquired.
"Annie." Blair grinned, his expression clearly saying. 'Argue with that one.'
"Well, far be it for me to argue with the great Anne Marie." He said, his voice full of
mock-solemness.
"She hears that one and you'll be very lonely, Detective." The curly-haired man informed him
with a wry smile. "So, what are you going to give me to buy my silence."
"Blackmail?" Jim grinned. "You've been spending too much time around me."
"Well, I've been saying that for a while." He
"Smart ass."
"And proud of it!"
The two men laughed again, their laughter a sign they were back on course. As always. Not much
could pull a Sentinel and Guide apart. Not even the Sentinel and Guide themselves.
finis