A/N: This chapter is dedicated to fanfiction.net's very own Cathy the Boff. There are several reasons for this: First of all, she encouraged me to continue this story, when I was experiencing a major writer's block. She has also been of great help with some scenes, clothing & musical depictions. And she is the inspiration for Kathrya Moonbrook – as she is a taller version of Rinoa, and a talented musician in real life.

Thank you all for the encouraging reviews, and sorry to leave you hanging like this. It just takes time before I am completely satisfied with a chapter, but I think it is worth it. Jennifer, thank you so much for giving this story a chance, I really appreciate and Seifer & Fujin will be making a cameo appearance later on. And what is wrong with Squall you ask? Don't worry, all will unravel in good time my friends.

Vick

********** III – Cruel Farewells **********

When Squall met Rinoa near her dorm, the sight took his breath away. She wore a simple knee-length white dress, with a V-shaped neck showing a hint of cleavage, and spaghetti-straps crossing at the back. She completed the whole with matching purse and shoes, and no other jewelry than her chain with the rings resting between her breasts. The result was simply enthralling, as the modest outfit brought out her natural beauty and grace.

"Ready to go?" He inquired, offering his arm gallantly.

She saw with delight that he was stylishly attired in black pants and blazer, and a light-charcoal shirt – meaning that he had put a lot of effort into pleasing her. "Yes," she replied, and then added playfully, "And you are most handsome tonight, I'll have to keep an eye on you so other women don't try to steal you."

They started the evening by eating at The Balamb's Café. It was nothing fancy, but she enjoyed it as if it was a feast fit for a queen. She hadn't expected dinner on top of the show, and felt contented and happy at having this time with him. Squall seemed somewhat preoccupied, but she blamed it on his numerous responsibilities.

He was also freely indulging in drinking wine, something he rarely did. Rinoa wondered what could be on his mind, and in an attempt at lightening his mood offered, "A toast, to us?"

The dark-haired man lifted his glass, clinking it with hers, and said, "To you, to your happiness and to your future."

She smiled at him, her brown eyes reflecting the deep emotions she felt for him, "To our happiness, and to our future, Squall."

As his expression darkened, she felt a pang of concern, "Squall, is something wrong? You seem so worried, do you want to talk about it?"

He took a long swallow of the ruby-colored liquid. Alcohol had never really relaxed him, it just made him feel depressed, but it was a feeling he was used to. He had decided to see the evening through, as one last gift to her… before breaking her heart for her own good.

"Nothing wrong," he affirmed, "Just tired, and I had too much wine."

"Do you want to go back to Garden?" She said, "I don't mind."

'Why, Rinoa?' thought the dark-haired man with fondness, 'Why do you have to be so beautiful? Why do you have to be so selfless, so caring, and why do you have to make me feel so alive?'

"Squall?" She inquired with concern at his forlorn expression.

"Huh, sorry," He apologized, "Listen, I really want to see the show, and it will start shortly so we should get going."

"Agreed," She replied, "Lets just have coffee and then we'll leave."

Squall smiled reassuringly, "Good. You know, I never really liked coffee, or wine, before I met you." He looked at the light dancing in his glass before resuming, "You taught me about simple pleasures, and I will forever be grateful for that."

Was it the wine talking, she wondered, for he never had been so candid. She dared to hope that he was slowly opening up to her - and most importantly, that he finally trusted her. Speaking form the heart, she stated, "And you have taught me about sacrifice, and how to find strength even in despair. Squall, I know that things have not been that great between us, not since we got engaged."

"Rinoa, I am sorry."

"No, it's not your fault," She continued gently, "I know that sometimes I wanted to go too fast for you, because I didn't know better. We have lived such different lives, and we are such different people, but I've never felt before what I feel for you."

"I know," he agreed and, with the wine loosening his tongue, he added, "I guess that somehow we complete each other."

She smiled with happiness, for his words reflected her thoughts, "Squall, I want you to know that I love you, that I will always love you."

"I love you too," He said, holding her hands and looking into her beautiful chocolate-eyes, "Please, whatever happens, never forget that."

"I'll never forget…" She replied softly.

---------- ---------- ----------

After the meal, they walked to the newly built auditorium near the docks. It was a warm evening, with the sky clear above them and a cool breeze blowing from the ocean. They had excellent places at the left side of the stage, and quite close to the entertainers.

The concert was a pleasant one, the music was varied and the performers talented. The nice meal, the mildness of the night, the sincere conversation they had shared, all contributed to set a wonderfully peaceful mood. It all made for a magic moment, an evening she knew she would never forget – it was just too bad that it would end up being for the grief to come.

Way too soon, the last act was announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we present you the beautiful and talented Kathrya Moonbrook! She will delight you with one of her own compositions, please give a warm welcome to a most gifted lady!"

There was good-hearted cheering and applause. It was obvious that many in the audience knew the performer. An attractive young woman appeared, bowing gracefully before sitting at the piano in the center of the stage. Her ankle-length evening gown, of a shimmering black and purple material, complimented her dark hair and nicely chiseled features. The dress was slit to mid-tight on the right side, and crisscrossing straps held the garment at the back. It was something she doubted Squall would approve of, him being so conservative, thought Rinoa with amusement.

Four musicians, three men and a woman, - playing percussions, trumpet, saxophone and acoustic guitar respectively – were disposed around her. The lady wore a powder-blue gown with a black sash around her slim waist, and the men black pants with navy-blue shirts.

From the first notes played by the drum and the guitar, Rinoa recognized the song as being a Rumba. Kathrya began singing, her voice clear and assured as her skillful hands danced on the piano with amazing grace.

"All I ever wanted

 All I ever longed for

 Is to be with you

 To be in your arms"

"Between us there are

 Your thousand seas

 I will fight to reach you

 To rest on your shores"

"But I am drowning

 In your thousand seas

 I am torn apart

 And I am lost"

Squall suddenly remarked, "You know what? That woman looks like a taller version of you."

Rinoa had to admit that the resemblance was striking, even if the singer had lighter hair than hers - with reddish streaks instead of blue ones. The piano was similar to her mother's, and so she could deduce that the performer was a good three inches taller than herself. Little did she know that they would meet under tragic circumstances, in just a few weeks.

"My life has no meaning

 If you are not there

 Only your touch

 Can set me free

 I feel alone, and fear owns my heart

 Please help me, my love

 I am just asking for a chance

 To stand by your side, forever"

Rinoa looked sideways at Squall, admiring his handsome and virile features. A thousand seas, or even more, that was what separated them. With time she was sure he would reach out to her, she just needed to be patient. 'I will cross those seas, my love.' She vowed, 'No matter what, we will be together.'

In the next part of the song, the artist showed her full talent. She managed to convey feelings of longing, regret and hope with perfectly placed inflections. Rinoa felt herself moved by the strong emotions the singer's performance expressed. The hazel-eyed woman wasn't surprised when she noticed that a few people, completely enthralled by the recital, were teary-eyed.

"So why do you keep between us

 Your thousand deep seas

 I will gladly cross them

 If you are longing for me

 All I want is to give, to share

 All that I have, all that I am

 To you, with you…

 And bathe in your love

 Away from your thousand seas…

 Away… far, far away

 From your thousand seas…

 From your thousand seas…"

Kathrya stood and bowed gracefully to the audience. There was warm applause for a long moment, and then people started leaving the theater. Squall had relaxed during the performance, but now he seemed to tense again. Rinoa wished that she were able to make him forget his worries; it pained her to see him always so preoccupied.

"Thank you." She said as they drove back to Garden.

"Why?" He inquired.

"For a perfect day." She replied, cuddling to him. It was a short ride and they soon arrived.

He walked her to her dorm, and kissed her tenderly. The needful way he embraced her was comforting, he rarely was so passionate and she was grateful for the pleasant change. She didn't know that he simply wanted to remember this moment, to have this memory to comfort himself in the solitude that awaited him.

Rinoa smiled warmly to him and asked, "Squall, why don't you come in for a moment? It's still early."

'This is it, time to end this lie…' he thought bitterly.

Once the door was closed behind them, and before he could utter a word, Rinoa put one hand on the nape of his neck and drew him to her. She kissed him deeply, exploring his parted lips with her tongue. Her other hand caressed his back, and then she took a chance and went down to his buttocks, pulling him tight against her hips.

Squall was surprised but responded to her advances. He entangled his right hand in a cascade of midnight-black hair, while his left went to the small of her back. Her body was warm and demanding against his, her lips hungered for a taste of him in a non-equivocal way.

'No, this is wrong…' He thought, 'I have to tell her…'

And then it happened.

She felt it too. It was the normal reaction of a healthy, aroused male. Her need for him overrode all else, she had waited for too long and this perfect day could also become an unforgettable night.

Rinoa stepped back and let down a strap of her dress sensuously, she then pulled on the fabric exposing a breast and did the same on the other side.  She stood in front of him, her chest now completely revealed and flattered at his reaction.

Squall stared in wonder, his desire growing at such a beautiful and perfect sight. She eased the jacket from his shoulders, and then he took off his shirt. He approached her and tentatively cupped her right breast.

She put her hand on his and gently whispered to his ear, "It's all right, my love…"

He left a trail of kisses on her silky skin, starting with her lips, going down to her chest and retracing his steps to claim her mouth once more. Rinoa moaned in pleasure and pure happiness, as his caresses sent delightful sensations all over her body.

"Wait." She whispered, and pulled the dress down her hips and legs, the movement also discarding the rest of her clothing. The chain with the rings was now the last rampart of her modesty, which gates she was fully willing to open for him alone.

She hugged him again, putting her hands on his firm cheeks and forcing him against her hips once more. The hairs on his chest tickled her breasts, as his hands explored her body and his lips tasted her skin, sending shivers of pleasure up her spine. In all the time they've been together he had never touched her this way, with so much abandon.

"Squall, I want you," she whispered to his ear, as she responded to his need and desire, glad that he was finally ready – ready to seal their Love in its most intimate, and beautiful expression.

"I love you," he responded softly, completely enraptured by his feelings for her.

Squall had never let himself lose his self-control like this before. It felt good, she felt good, and for a precious moment all felt right. Her warm, soft skin was a delight from which he would never tire, her chocolate-eyes shone with joy, a joy for which he was the cause. A joy that he shared, and which warmed him to the innermost part of his being, melting away all the barriers he had built around his heart.

How. Ho how, could he ever have thought of leaving her? She had waited for him, had put her own needs aside for his sake. He was fortunate to have what so many could only dream of – understanding, acceptance, and Love… unconditional Love.

But some things leave scars - deep, ugly scars - and suddenly an image of gray eyes looking at him with contempt appeared in his mind's eye.

'Half man!'

The memory hit him like a ton of bricks and he pulled away from Rinoa, turning his back on her and looking frantically for his discarded clothes.

"Squall? What… what's wrong?" She inquired with concern in her voice and utterly stunned at his behavior.

He didn't face her, as he got dressed, "Rinoa, this is wrong…"

"Wrong?" She asked puzzled, "How can this be wrong? Squall…"

He finally turned around, "Listen, I should have told you this earlier, it's over Rinoa."

"Wha… what? Why… how…" She said in shock at this unexpected turn of events.

"I'm sorry, I waited too long and it was selfish." He continued, "I'll never be able to make you happy, and I'll never be able to satisfy your needs."

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that?" She replied, "What is it, Squall? Is there something about me that disgusts you? Please, tell me…"

He breathed deeply before resuming, "It's not about you, but about me."

Rinoa couldn't believe what was happening, she insisted, "Is there someone else?"

"No, there's nobody else," he stated, "You wouldn't understand, just trust me that this is for the best. I've wasted enough of your time, you deserve better."

"No, you can't do this… Squall, I love you. Whatever it is we can work it out." She pleaded.

"And I love you, that's why I am freeing you from our engagement. Believe me, you will find happiness some day. It's just that I'm not the right one…"

Rinoa tried to hold him, but he firmly kept her at arms length. "Don't make this more difficult, and don't try to talk me out of it. I know what I'm doing." He stated rather bluntly.

"Squall… please…"

"Fare well, Rinoa." He said, and stormed out of her dorm.

Rinoa crossed her arms over her breasts. She debated following him anyway and pursuing the matter, but knew that he had been cruelly serious about it. He would probably lock himself up in his office and refuse to talk to her.

"Why?" She wondered, the tears welling up in her brown eyes, "Why is he doing this?"

Even in desperate situations she had kept her wits about her, fought as best she could and found a solution. But now she was at a loss, unable to decide on a course of action.

She still felt his loving hands on her body, his ardent lips on hers, and the warmth of his skin. It had been such a wonderful instant of love and intimacy, it had been all she had longed for - and now she felt a loss that left a cruel void in her heart. In a few moments, with a few words, her whole world had crumbled to dust.

The tears finally streaked down her face, as she hastily got dressed.

---------- ---------- ----------

'It is finally done...' Thought Squall as he paced the length of his office.

He looked out the bay window, in the distance he could just make out the shimmering lights of Balamb. He rested his brow on the cool glass, cursing -not for the first time- how little control he had over his own life. He had done the right thing, he was certain that he had done what was best for Rinoa. So why did it hurt so much?

"Rinny," He murmured, "I hope that you'll find the happiness I can't give you…"

Memories came back to him, happy ones with Rinoa and painful ones before she'd entered his life. It was too bad that junctioning Guardian Forces only erased those recollections that were well in the past. Some people thought that he had no feelings, but that was untrue, he just kept them under a tight lid. Rinoa had helped him open up, but it just hurt too much to feel sometimes.

After a while, the buzzer on his desk went off, announcing someone at the elevator leading to the offices. At the surveillance screen, he saw that it was Rinoa dressed in trousers and a blouse.

He trailed a finger on the shiny surface of the monitor, caressing her image. "Forgive me, Rinny. Please, forgive me…" He said aloud, knowing very well that she couldn't hear him. He saw her lips moving, and could make out the words: 'Squall', 'Please', 'Ho, please…' - She ringed several times before giving up, and left with her head bowed in despair. The Commander turned from the screen and looked out the window again.

"Good bye, my sweet angel…" He whispered to the night, choking on the last word.

Squall Leonhart then did something he hadn't done in a very long time – something he had not even done on that night when he had stood in the rain, waiting for his Sis to come back.

He put his face in his hands.

And he cried.

********** ********** **********

~ To Be Continued ~