Normal.dot – Norman Disney & Young – Version 1.2 - December 2002
The Red Dwarf Posse looked on in amazement as Monkey flew around above their heads, performing a variety of agile moves on board the pink cloud. Eventually, Tripitika put an end to the display by muttering softly with head bowed and eyes closed. A cry of pain from the cloud rider brought him back down to Earth with a thud, clutching the gold band around his head.

"Ahhhh da da da da da!!" Monkey gibbered. Tripitaka stopped, as did the pain in Monkey's head.

Monkey also muttered something under his breath that Kryten translated as "holy fool."

Pigsy and Sandy exchanged silent smirks. Tripitaka, through prayer, was able to constrict the band of gold around Monkey's head, causing him pain. This had come in handy a lot of times to get Monkey to pull his head in. Through analysis and a quick revision of his notes under Buddhism, Kryten realised that in fact, the leader of the party was in fact Tripitaka who was a priest, with Monkey, Sandy and Pigsy his disciples. Kryten also discovered something very strange about Tripitaka which he thought he better not mention as it seemed rather personal.

"Very impressive, Mr Monkey, sir," said Kryten, sensing the need to placate the ape. Monkey looked a little happier.

"That is nothing!" he scoffed and proceeded to shrink his staff and tuck it behind his ear. The Starbug crew were impressed. Monkey went for the big finish and was about to pluck a hair from his chest and call up an army of miniature Monkey fighters but was halted by Cat, growing hungry and impatient, clanging his cutlery together.

"Man, isn't there anything to eat here that doesn't talk?" he asked.

"True wisdom," Pigsy nodded in agreement. He thought this cat monster had the right idea, now that he didn't seem to be in any danger of being on the menu. Not to mention the thirst a Pig had to suffer on the road.

 "There is a small village and an inn just down the road, where we are headed," said Tripitaka. "Perhaps you would like to join us for a meal?"

Pigsy and the Cat both wondered if there might be any nice girls at the inn.

Lister looked at the rest of his crew who were making no violent protestations and nodded. "Sure, sounds great. I'll just let Holly know. You guys want to come in, see the place?"

He ducked inside Starbug and the rest of the party followed. Rimmer grimly brought up the rear. If one of the new acquaintances started a killing rampage inside, at least he would have some chance of bolting before they turned to him.