Normal.dot – Norman Disney & Young – Version 1.2 - December 2002
It was rather a tight squeeze in the Bug with all eight of them inside. Yu-Lung, the horse, electing to stay outside.

Monkey tried not to look impressed by the electronics, lights and gadgets inside as if he stepped into futuristic space craft every day when he wasn't battling evil demons. Sandy found it a little harder to maintain his composure when Holly's image appeared on one of the screens.

"Ahhhh!!!" Sandy shrieked as Holly's digital eyes rested on him. "A demon!!"

"You fool!" Monkey said, sensing Sandy's naivety as the others looked at him, startled. "It is a guiding spirit!"

"Whatever," said Lister. "This is Holly. Holly, this is Monkey . .  ."

"Great Sage Equal of Heaven," interjected Monkey.

"Right. And er . . ." he gestured at Pigsy.

"Pigsy, Martial of the Heavenly Host!"

"And . . ."

"Sandy, Commander of the Heavenly Host," said Sandy.

"And . . ."

"Tripitaka," said Tripitaka, modestly omitting any title and bowing. Holly bowed his head in return and smiled.

"Mahayana Buddhist Priest, eh?" he said. "How does that go, alright?"

"It is an ongoing quest for enlightenment," replied Tripitaka pleasantly.

"On the way to India for the holy scriptures, I suppose," Holly continued. "That must give you some laughs." Tripitaka smiled.

Rimmer was surprised enough that Holly's remaining IQ still retained a few sparks of savvy and said so.

"Exactly how is it, Monsieur Holly, that you know so much about these people when you can't even remember all 26 letters of the alphabet?"

"Is it 26 now?" Holly looked genuinely surprised. "Which ones have they dropped?"

Rimmer made a snort-like sound which clearly expressed disgust.

"By the way lads, it seems we're in another parallel universe," he remarked casually. This phrase meant nothing to the Monkey, Pig, Priest or Fish but the others were both surprised and alarmed.

"What kind of parallel universe exactly, Hol?" asked Lister. "I'm not going to end up preggers again am I?" Holly chuckled.

"Funny, that was," he mused. "No, well, it's obvious, innit. You lads can work it out for yourselves. I'm teaching myself how to crochet." With that, his image disappeared from the screen and Rimmer mentally rested his "Holly is a computer-senile " case.