This chapter is dedicated to my favorite author on fanfiction.net, Ashbear - a talented lady and gifted writer – whose work has been a source of great pleasure and inspiration to me. Thank you for writing such wonderful tales, Ashbear, and thus allowing me to tread the landscape of your boundless imagination. And you have my heartfelt gratitude for your constant support. - Vick

********** X – Revelations **********

"Will you come see me again tomorrow, Rinny?" Asked Kathrya.

"Yes, I'll come by after breakfast." Replied the raven-haired woman.

It had been a week since their ordeal had ended. Rinoa was able to open her right eye by now, but her face was still showing the signs of the mistreatment she had received. As for the singer, she was quickly recovering from the blood-loss, and was recuperating better from the trial than predicted. Dr.Kadowaki always thought better to let the body heal itself, instead of using magic abusively, and so they let nature follow its course.

It had been decided that Kathrya would remain in Garden for her protection. Rinoa noticed that her hair and features were returning to their original forms, and that the young woman was getting stronger by the day. They had also become fast friends, and the artist had agreed to perform for free at the Festival. Selphie, of course, was in heaven at the news and had widely publicized the event.

Rinoa hadn't seen Squall since the incident with Kathrya, for he was leading the investigation into the tentative to manipulate Timber's elections. Dr.Kadowaki had put her on a weeklong mandatory rest, and she had a lot of time on her hands. It was why she took the opportunity to spend time with the singer, for they really enjoyed each other's company.

She went back to her dorm after a late dinner, and changed into her nightgown. She was getting ready to slip under the covers when there was a knock at her door. She was surprised to find Squall standing there, dressed in his customary attire minus the leather jacket.

"Hi, Rinoa." He said tentatively, "How are you feeling?"

"Good, thank you for asking." She replied candidly.

"Are you in any pain?" He continued.

"No, it's just a few cuts and bruises," She reassured him, "Nothing serious."

"I just wanted to tell you, we captured the rest of Chrislen Khosgrove's group. Furthermore, they confessed and gave us the names of the Galbadian officials behind all this. It's over for them and Kathrya's family is safe." He informed her, "I just thought that you'd want to know."

As he made to leave, Rinoa put her hand on his arm, "Squall, I sense that there is something else."

He breathed deeply, obviously gathering his courage, "Yes, may I come in?"

"Of course." She answered, stepping aside to let him pass, and then closing the door behind her.

Squall walked to the window and peered into the deepening darkness. She just waited expectantly for him to say something, feeling that she should let him take the initiative.

"Rinoa," He started, "When I broke up with you, well… I should have done it differently."

"I still don't understand why, Squall." She replied softly.

He finally turned around and faced her, "Listen, there are things about me that you don't know. Just trust me when I say that I'll never be able to fulfill your needs, that I'll never be able to satisfy you. I love you, and that is why I have to set you free."

"So that's it?" She exclaimed, "You just decide that it's over, and I have to accept it without an explanation?"

"Whatever."

Rinoa had had enough, "Well, let ME tell you something, Mr.Leonhart!"

He was taken aback by her reaction, "Rinoa, listen…"

"No, you will listen to me this time!" She ordered, "I have been supportive, I have been patient, and I have done my best to give you your space."

He just remained silent, which fueled her emotions even more.

"Squall, I have never been a clingy or demanding girlfriend." She continued, "I don't pretend to understand what you've been through being an orphan and all, but I respected your needs, and I respected the way you are. By Hyne! I love you the way you are, and I don't want to change you, Squall."

"I know, Rinoa."

"So what is it?" She demanded, "Have you grown tired of me? Or do you want to see other people? I can understand those things, I will not like it but I will live with it. So just tell me why you want to break us…"

He looked hard at her, "Do you really want to understand what I feel?"

"Well, yes."

"You have to promise to answer my questions, and be warned that you might hate me for it."

Rinoa didn't like where this was going, but she knew that it was their last chance at reconciliation. She decided to bet everything on this throw of the dice, for too much was at stake.

"I promise." She said firmly.

"Did you and Seifer have sex together?" Asked Squall.

Her eyes widened in shock, "What?"

"You heard me."

There was disappointment in her voice, "Is that what this is all about?"

"It's not easy when one has a painful secret, isn't it?" He continued, "Some things are better kept to oneself."

"But why…" she insisted.

"As I said, some things are better kept hidden, that way they hurt less people…"

"Is that what you feel?" asked Rinoa, "That it is better to run from me rather than tell me what the matter is?"

"Yes, and from your reaction I get it that the answer to my question is also 'Yes'."

She looked him straight in the eyes, and took a deep breath before replying, "Yes, Squall. We did, but we were both so drunk that we passed out and don't remember a thing."

"Why did you never tell me about it?"

"It was in the past," She explained, "And I didn't think you'd want to know anyway."

"Were you afraid that I would think less of you because of it?"

"Well, maybe… I guess… it's not something that I am proud of."

"Was it painful to say it to me?"

"Yes." She confessed, looking at him expectantly.

Squall looked down to hide the pain in his eyes, "You wanted to keep that to yourself, because it was just too hard to tell me… because you feared how I would take it."

"I never told you because it would just stand between us." Said the sorceress softly.

"I think that you know how I feel now." He continued, "Many things can tear us apart, but believe me that I don't care about your past – that I can deal with."

"So, if it's not about the past, what is it then?"

"It's about what I am, and the future I can't offer you…"

Rinoa was more puzzled than ever, "What is it, Squall? What can be so terrible that you can't even tell me?"

Squall sat on the edge of her bed, gazing at the floor. This was it, he had promised and he had to tell her now. She wouldn't mock or despise him like Morgana had, Rinoa wasn't like that, but she might pity him – and that was even worse. One way or the other he would lose her, but he had already accepted that fact.

"Squall?" – her sweet voice was filled with concern, and it gave him the courage to confess it all.

"Rinoa, I'll never be able to satisfy you because…" he began.

"Yes?" She encouraged him.

"I am impotent…"

There, it was out. Actually it felt good to finally say it out loud, to share the pain with someone else. At least he knew that his secret would be safe with her. He didn't know how she would react, but he really wasn't prepared for what she did next.

Rinoa sat beside him, and stated matter-of-factly, "Well, that certainly explains a lot."

"I'm sorry to have wasted your time." He apologized, "I just postponed the inevitable, I was too happy with you…"

She looked at him gently, "Squall, you are not impotent. Remember that night, after the musical show?"

"Yes, that's the night I broke up with you"

"You had an erection, Squall." She affirmed, "I felt it, and it proves that you are mistaken."

"That is true," He conceded, "But it didn't last…"

Her hand softly cupped his face, "What happened to you? Did someone hurt you?"

He had told her that much, her hand touching his skin was soothing, and felt the need to unburden himself. Whatever she thought of him wouldn't be made worse anyway. Maybe now they could still be friends, even if being lovers was, to him, impossible.

"Yes." he simply replied.

"Tell me about it?" She said, her words more of a plea than a demand.

"It happened about six months before I met you the first time. Her name was Morgana, she was a good five years my elder." He began after a moment, "She was a military guest from Galbadia, and she pursued me ardently."

"What happened?" She prompted him.

"I guess that I was a challenge to her, and so she made her intentions very clear. One evening we ended up in her dorm, in the guests' section, and I decided that I wanted to know what the big fuss about sex was all about."

Telling of his ordeal was obviously hard for him, but he continued, "She was aggressive and demanding. The same thing happened as when I was with you. The more I tried to force myself, the less aroused I became. I panicked and left her room in a hurry."

"How did she respond?" Asked Rinoa, as gently as she could.

"Not well…" Admitted Squall, "While I was trying to get dressed, she looked at me with contempt and called me a half-man, and other things I rather not repeat…"

Rinoa suddenly understood it all. A man, as reserved and perfectionist as Squall, would be put under a lot of emotional stress in such a situation. It would be enough to make him doubt himself. Knowing how important men considered their ability to perform, he must have been completely humiliated.

"I better leave." He said and stood up, "Good night, Rinoa. I trust that this will remain between us."

Her words, and her hands gently taking his, stopped him, "Squall, please stay."

"We have nothing more to talk about…"

"Not to talk," She corrected him, looking at him hopefully, "Stay the night."

He slowly faced her, "Rinoa, I just told you that I can't…"

"No, don't worry. I just want to sleep beside you," she continued, " I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Rinoa…"

"Please?"

He was tired of his self-imposed solitude, and suddenly the thought of returning to his empty dorm became unbearable. There would be no harm in sharing her bed, right? - There were no expectations and no demands, and it was just sleeping and nothing else after all.

"All right," He agreed, "I will stay, but just to sleep."

"Just to sleep." She also agreed, then smiled and slid under the covers. Squall stripped down to his boxer shorts and joined her, lying on his back and putting his arm around her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Will you be here in the morning?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yes…"

It wasn't long before her even breathing told him that she was deeply asleep. He felt the worries and the tension ebb away from him. It was the result of telling her about his painful memory, and of the welcomed feeling of her warm body against his.

A peacefulness he had never before experienced overcame him, and he gratefully embraced it. In the dimness he could just make out Rinoa's relaxed features, and he thought about how beautiful she was. The scars on her face didn't mar that beauty, for hers was also a beauty of the soul.

'Maybe sharing one's feelings isn't so difficult after all." Thought Squall.

********** ********** **********

~ To Be Continued ~

A/N: Originally the fic was meant to end here, but I felt that something was missing. I don't know yet how it will conclude – I hope that you will all like how it turns out.

And Jennifer, it would seem that you figured it out. I bow to your perspicacity ;)

Vick