Normal.dot – Norman Disney & Young – Version 1.3 – March 2002
The group walked back along the road towards the green space vessel without event. Tripitaka rode upon Yu-Lung who had reverted back to his horse form. Everyone was tired from the activities at the inn, so not much was spoken until they reached Starbug and climbed inside.

After hot chocolate was served by Kryten in whatever receptacle was clean and suitable for their guests, thoughts turned to sleep.

Lister volunteered to sleep in one of the reclining pilot chairs – he was used to it after years of boring flights, Rimmer's Risk stories and Kryten's attempts at in-flight entertainment - and offered his bunk up for one of their guests. The Cat, who could sleep anywhere, anytime, offered to do the same. There was also a spare pull-down bunk.  Everyone looked at Rimmer expectantly. 

"But I'm tired too!" Rimmer whined.

"Please, you do not need to sacrifice –" Tripitaka began. Lister cut her off.

"Rimmer, for smeg's sake, you're a hologram. You don't even need a bed to sleep in, you can't feel anything anyway!"

"Oh, thank you very much, Mr Tact," sniffed Rimmer. "As if you know what it's like to be dead. To be treated as less than a person, to not be able to touch, to taste . . . to be shafted out of your rightful bunk . . ."

"Look, we'll get Holly to simulate something for you, alright?" Lister suggested, and at the mention of his name, Holly appeared on the vid screen. Sandy remained calm.

"Alright, are we?" he asked. "You figure it out yet, or what?"

"Yes, Holly. We are on Gandarah, in a parallel universe and these are our parallel selves," said Kryten, somewhat smugly.

"Oh, well done," said Holly and Kryten beamed. "But that's not quite all. I'll leave you to work that one out too, seeing as how you got the first bit."

"Whatever," said Rimmer exasperated. "Look, I'm completely shagged. Seeing as how I'm giving up my bunk for a complete stranger, how about simulating me a nice queen-sized four-poster?"

"Coming right up!" smirked Holly and disappeared. Against the wall of the cabin appeared a fold-up camp bed with army surplus blankets and standard JMC issue pillow.

"Smegtacular," hissed Rimmer. "Good night." He walked over to the camp bed, kicked off his hologrammatic shoes and got in, rolled over to face the wall and pulled the blankets over his head.

"Right, then," said Lister, "Now – "

"Some of us are trying to SLEEP!" came the petulant voice from the camp bed.

"Sod off or I'll flush your light bee out with the sanitary waste disposal," said Lister pleasantly. "Now, you guys, follow me." He proceeded to take their guests around Starbug's small interior, demonstrated toilet and shower facilities, bazookoids (with spectacular results when Monkey had a go) and the ongoing Jigsaw Puzzle Championships.

Finally, everyone was bedded down for the night and all was quiet aboard Starbug.

Tripitaka, although tired from the day's exertions, was finding it a little difficult to sleep. Everyone had been polite and respectful and not brought up the fact she was a woman again, but this was probably because they still thought of her as a priest. What to do? She closed her eyes, preparing to pray and ask Buddha for guidance, when she felt a tickling, wet sensation on her bare foot and screamed.

Startled by the noise, Lister rushed in wearing only his boxers and a bazookoid and yelled "Lights!" Monkey had leapt from the top bunk and was poised for action.

At the foot of Tripitaka's bunk was Pigsy, crouched frozen in the act, his tongue hanging guiltily from his mouth.

"You filthy swine!" Monkey shouted and booted Pigsy's considerable derriere.