Time Stands Still (2/?)
by: Brandy Leigh
~*~
"Hello...?"
"John, it's me."
"Monica? What's wrong?"
The alarm and concern in his voice makes me cringe. He probably thinks some
unearthly tragedy has occurred.
"Nothing... well, nothing serious."
"What is it? Are you okay?"
"Do you think you could come over? Just for a little while..."
"Of course, I'll be right there."
I let out a sigh of relief. Nothing else needs to be said between us, so I
hang up. I know he'll probably break every speed limit getting here; I just
hope he doesn't wreck his car.
The last time I called John in the middle of the night and asked him to come
over I'd just found my birth parents. I'd been searching for them for nearly
my whole life... I wanted to know why they gave me up, why they didn't want
me. When I finally found them I didn't know what to do and I was scared. So, I
called John, and he came.
We were up practically the whole night talking and lying out the pros and cons
of me calling them. Finally, the cons won out. It had been thirty some odd
years since they had left me in Texas, I'd made out just fine in Mexico, and
now I was grown and I was my own person. I didn't need them back in my life...
I didn't want to have to deal with that.
There are many other times that John was there for me, and vice versa. I don't
know what I'd do if I ever lost him again. I almost did, and it scared the
shit out of me. I know that if I do tell him how I feel tonight, I'm going to
tell him what happened.
For some reason he doesn't remember the events that occurred just two days
ago, no one does. I'm the only one that remembers being told that my partner
had been shot in the back and was lying, paralyzed, in a hospital bed. I can
still see him there in that bed, and I can still recall with a sickening
clarity as he told me the only way to save him was to pull the plug...
He's probably going to think I'm crazy, but frankly I don't care. I know what
happened and I know that I never want to let him out of my sight again. I'm
not going to lose John Doggett now, not after we've come so far...
There's a knock at the door; I have no more time to muse. It's now or never.
~*~
I'm standing in front of her door, not sure what to expect. I'm almost scared
to think of what might be wrong. Monica's been so touchy the past few days...
Every since the other day when she just broke down and tears and grabbed me
into a big hug, it's like she's expecting someone to shoot me down at any
moment. She won't even let me walk to my car without making sure she's right
there beside me. I don't think she's ever been more alert.
Yesterday, when we were getting ready to walk down into the parking lot at
work, a cat scurried across the concrete from under my car. Monica jumped
nearly five feet, drew her gun, and was about two seconds from blowing the
poor cat's head off. I reassured her that it wasn't Bin Ladakitty. Atleast she
laughed.
So now I wait for her to answer... here she comes. The door opens, and I take
a good look at her. She looks just as she has for the past few days, except
she seems more unsure. What in God's name happened to her to make her this
way? Monica has always been a strong, independent person who has always been
sure of what she was going to do and what she was going to say. This is not my
Monica.
Whoa, boy... *My* Monica? Now I know I'm goin' nuts...
"Hey John... thanks for coming."
"It's no problem."
She steps aside so that I can walk in, so I do. I shrug off my jacket and hang
it on the coat rack next to her door. When I turn back to her, she won't look
at me.
"Alright, what is it, Mon? You know, you've got me really worried. You have
for the past few days. It's like you haven't been yourself."
"I'm sorry John... it's just-" She looks up at me and stops.
"What? It's just what?"
She says nothing, just walks towards me until we're just inches apart. She
looks up at me, and peers into my eyes. I'm trapped where I stand by her
intense gaze...
"Monica?"
"I'm tired of doing this, John. I'm tired of the two of us acting like there's
nothing between us. God knows how long I've loved you, but I've never had the
guts to say it. Not until I almost lost you... John, I was so scared. And
damnit, you don't even remember!"
Her words shock me. She loves me? So long she can't even remember? I almost
can't get past that sentence to realize what else she's said.
"Almost lost me? What are you talking about?"
"Two days ago, John." She says, accenting every word. "You came to my
apartment to bring me a polish sausage as a housewarming gift."
"Yeah, I remember that."
"I went into the other room to get plates, and while I was in there AD Skinner
called me. He told me that you had been shot, and that you were lying in a
hospital room. I told him how crazy that was, because you were just in the
other room. But you weren't John. You were gone."
"I think I missed that part," I say, completely shocked.
"Just shut up, John, I need to say this."
"Alright..."
She takes a deep breath and continues. "When I got there, Agent Scully told me
you... that if you made it... you'd be paralyzed."
I noticed her eyes have begun to well up, and a few tears have managed to find
their way down her cheek. I reach up and lightly brush them away, but it only
makes her cry harder.
"You regained consciousness and were able to tell us what was wrong through
Morris code with a machine designed for paralysis patients. You told me that
you had seen me die, that my throat had been cut. After talking with you
further I realized that it really wasn't you, that it was a John from a
parallel universe. She pauses and checks to make sure I'm still following her.
The look she gives me almost dares me to say she's crazy.
"Go on," is all I say.
"I told 'you' my theory, and of course you thought I was nuts."
"I would never think-" I stop when she glares at me.
"But... you came to believe me. You said two Doggies can't be in one world...
that to save you, I had to kill you." She pauses, and wipes at her tears as if
they were stubborn.
"Of course I refused! I thought the idea was crazy, and that you just wanted
to end your suffering. But then, you asked me if I believed my own theory...
You got me thinking, John. After that, I knew what I had to do."
"Oh, Mon..."
"I had to do it, John. It was the only way. But I was so afraid it wouldn't
work! I... I had to watch you..." She can't finish the sentence. I pull her
into my arms.
"Shh... it's okay. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"
She pulls back from me and looks up at me angrily. "No, it's not okay! I
watched you *die* John! How was I supposed to know it would work? For all I
know, I could have been the one who killed you!"
"But you didn't! If what you say is true, you saved me! Don't you see that? I
wouldn't be alive today if you hadn't done what you did!"
I think I've gotten through to her, because suddenly a look of realization
passes over her face. She looks me right in the eyes, and stares.
~*~
Could I really have saved him...? I must have, because he's standing right in
front of me. I look up into his eyes, and I carefully study his face. Does he
even believe what I'm rambling on about? Does it even matter? Does anything
really matter beyond the fact that he's here right now and he doesn't seem to
be going anywhere? Nevertheless, I have to ask.
"Do you even believe me, or do you think I'm crazy?"
John looks at me like I've just offended him, then raises his hands to place
them on my arms. "Monica, listen to me very carefully. I sometimes question
the things you tell me only because I may have a hard time understanding them,
but I would *never* think you were crazy. You hear me? Never." He heavily
accents his last word.
I don't say anything right away, I just nod slowly. I know my eyes are welling
up again, and I feel completely idiotic. Here I am going on and on about
something that I know makes me sound like a psycho, and I keep breaking down
and crying like a baby every five minutes. I cast my eyes down to the floor
and intently study my new shoes.
"Hey..." John says softly in response to my new tears. He brings his hand up
to my chin and forces me to look into his eyes again. "Don't do this, huh?" He
gives me one of his best smiles. "If you're down in the dumps, who'll be there
to pick me up off my ass when I fall?"
I can't help but let out a slight laugh. John may not be the funniest man
alive, but he always knows what to say to make me feel better when I'm feeling
the worst. I smile at him. I smile to let him know that I'm okay, and I smile
to let him know that I know he believes me and trusts in what I say even if he
doesn't think it's right.
I love this man, I honestly do.
I open my mouth to tell him how I feel, and this time I'm going to be straight
forward. I may have already said I loved him, but it was followed by the
rantings of a madwoman. John needs to know what I truly feel. He needs to know
that I am completely and madly in love with him...
Suddenly, before I can speak, his mouth descends on mine. I have no choice but
to respond... he's taken me completely by surprise. Butterflies arise in my
stomach and I melt into his arms. This has to be what it feels like to be in
the presence of angels...
I am completely... and madly... in love...
~*~
End Part 2
~*~
by: Brandy Leigh
~*~
"Hello...?"
"John, it's me."
"Monica? What's wrong?"
The alarm and concern in his voice makes me cringe. He probably thinks some
unearthly tragedy has occurred.
"Nothing... well, nothing serious."
"What is it? Are you okay?"
"Do you think you could come over? Just for a little while..."
"Of course, I'll be right there."
I let out a sigh of relief. Nothing else needs to be said between us, so I
hang up. I know he'll probably break every speed limit getting here; I just
hope he doesn't wreck his car.
The last time I called John in the middle of the night and asked him to come
over I'd just found my birth parents. I'd been searching for them for nearly
my whole life... I wanted to know why they gave me up, why they didn't want
me. When I finally found them I didn't know what to do and I was scared. So, I
called John, and he came.
We were up practically the whole night talking and lying out the pros and cons
of me calling them. Finally, the cons won out. It had been thirty some odd
years since they had left me in Texas, I'd made out just fine in Mexico, and
now I was grown and I was my own person. I didn't need them back in my life...
I didn't want to have to deal with that.
There are many other times that John was there for me, and vice versa. I don't
know what I'd do if I ever lost him again. I almost did, and it scared the
shit out of me. I know that if I do tell him how I feel tonight, I'm going to
tell him what happened.
For some reason he doesn't remember the events that occurred just two days
ago, no one does. I'm the only one that remembers being told that my partner
had been shot in the back and was lying, paralyzed, in a hospital bed. I can
still see him there in that bed, and I can still recall with a sickening
clarity as he told me the only way to save him was to pull the plug...
He's probably going to think I'm crazy, but frankly I don't care. I know what
happened and I know that I never want to let him out of my sight again. I'm
not going to lose John Doggett now, not after we've come so far...
There's a knock at the door; I have no more time to muse. It's now or never.
~*~
I'm standing in front of her door, not sure what to expect. I'm almost scared
to think of what might be wrong. Monica's been so touchy the past few days...
Every since the other day when she just broke down and tears and grabbed me
into a big hug, it's like she's expecting someone to shoot me down at any
moment. She won't even let me walk to my car without making sure she's right
there beside me. I don't think she's ever been more alert.
Yesterday, when we were getting ready to walk down into the parking lot at
work, a cat scurried across the concrete from under my car. Monica jumped
nearly five feet, drew her gun, and was about two seconds from blowing the
poor cat's head off. I reassured her that it wasn't Bin Ladakitty. Atleast she
laughed.
So now I wait for her to answer... here she comes. The door opens, and I take
a good look at her. She looks just as she has for the past few days, except
she seems more unsure. What in God's name happened to her to make her this
way? Monica has always been a strong, independent person who has always been
sure of what she was going to do and what she was going to say. This is not my
Monica.
Whoa, boy... *My* Monica? Now I know I'm goin' nuts...
"Hey John... thanks for coming."
"It's no problem."
She steps aside so that I can walk in, so I do. I shrug off my jacket and hang
it on the coat rack next to her door. When I turn back to her, she won't look
at me.
"Alright, what is it, Mon? You know, you've got me really worried. You have
for the past few days. It's like you haven't been yourself."
"I'm sorry John... it's just-" She looks up at me and stops.
"What? It's just what?"
She says nothing, just walks towards me until we're just inches apart. She
looks up at me, and peers into my eyes. I'm trapped where I stand by her
intense gaze...
"Monica?"
"I'm tired of doing this, John. I'm tired of the two of us acting like there's
nothing between us. God knows how long I've loved you, but I've never had the
guts to say it. Not until I almost lost you... John, I was so scared. And
damnit, you don't even remember!"
Her words shock me. She loves me? So long she can't even remember? I almost
can't get past that sentence to realize what else she's said.
"Almost lost me? What are you talking about?"
"Two days ago, John." She says, accenting every word. "You came to my
apartment to bring me a polish sausage as a housewarming gift."
"Yeah, I remember that."
"I went into the other room to get plates, and while I was in there AD Skinner
called me. He told me that you had been shot, and that you were lying in a
hospital room. I told him how crazy that was, because you were just in the
other room. But you weren't John. You were gone."
"I think I missed that part," I say, completely shocked.
"Just shut up, John, I need to say this."
"Alright..."
She takes a deep breath and continues. "When I got there, Agent Scully told me
you... that if you made it... you'd be paralyzed."
I noticed her eyes have begun to well up, and a few tears have managed to find
their way down her cheek. I reach up and lightly brush them away, but it only
makes her cry harder.
"You regained consciousness and were able to tell us what was wrong through
Morris code with a machine designed for paralysis patients. You told me that
you had seen me die, that my throat had been cut. After talking with you
further I realized that it really wasn't you, that it was a John from a
parallel universe. She pauses and checks to make sure I'm still following her.
The look she gives me almost dares me to say she's crazy.
"Go on," is all I say.
"I told 'you' my theory, and of course you thought I was nuts."
"I would never think-" I stop when she glares at me.
"But... you came to believe me. You said two Doggies can't be in one world...
that to save you, I had to kill you." She pauses, and wipes at her tears as if
they were stubborn.
"Of course I refused! I thought the idea was crazy, and that you just wanted
to end your suffering. But then, you asked me if I believed my own theory...
You got me thinking, John. After that, I knew what I had to do."
"Oh, Mon..."
"I had to do it, John. It was the only way. But I was so afraid it wouldn't
work! I... I had to watch you..." She can't finish the sentence. I pull her
into my arms.
"Shh... it's okay. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"
She pulls back from me and looks up at me angrily. "No, it's not okay! I
watched you *die* John! How was I supposed to know it would work? For all I
know, I could have been the one who killed you!"
"But you didn't! If what you say is true, you saved me! Don't you see that? I
wouldn't be alive today if you hadn't done what you did!"
I think I've gotten through to her, because suddenly a look of realization
passes over her face. She looks me right in the eyes, and stares.
~*~
Could I really have saved him...? I must have, because he's standing right in
front of me. I look up into his eyes, and I carefully study his face. Does he
even believe what I'm rambling on about? Does it even matter? Does anything
really matter beyond the fact that he's here right now and he doesn't seem to
be going anywhere? Nevertheless, I have to ask.
"Do you even believe me, or do you think I'm crazy?"
John looks at me like I've just offended him, then raises his hands to place
them on my arms. "Monica, listen to me very carefully. I sometimes question
the things you tell me only because I may have a hard time understanding them,
but I would *never* think you were crazy. You hear me? Never." He heavily
accents his last word.
I don't say anything right away, I just nod slowly. I know my eyes are welling
up again, and I feel completely idiotic. Here I am going on and on about
something that I know makes me sound like a psycho, and I keep breaking down
and crying like a baby every five minutes. I cast my eyes down to the floor
and intently study my new shoes.
"Hey..." John says softly in response to my new tears. He brings his hand up
to my chin and forces me to look into his eyes again. "Don't do this, huh?" He
gives me one of his best smiles. "If you're down in the dumps, who'll be there
to pick me up off my ass when I fall?"
I can't help but let out a slight laugh. John may not be the funniest man
alive, but he always knows what to say to make me feel better when I'm feeling
the worst. I smile at him. I smile to let him know that I'm okay, and I smile
to let him know that I know he believes me and trusts in what I say even if he
doesn't think it's right.
I love this man, I honestly do.
I open my mouth to tell him how I feel, and this time I'm going to be straight
forward. I may have already said I loved him, but it was followed by the
rantings of a madwoman. John needs to know what I truly feel. He needs to know
that I am completely and madly in love with him...
Suddenly, before I can speak, his mouth descends on mine. I have no choice but
to respond... he's taken me completely by surprise. Butterflies arise in my
stomach and I melt into his arms. This has to be what it feels like to be in
the presence of angels...
I am completely... and madly... in love...
~*~
End Part 2
~*~