Chapter 10: Once Upon a Dream
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I appreciate them so much.
JESS – aCk..Sorry, I didn't realize that. * blush* Oh well. I hope your friend is going to be okay. :-( I don't know where I got that quote from. I think from a website...
Baneet – Well, if you don't like the mushy parts...you aren't going to like much of this chapter
Three months later, Helga's been through so much radiation appointments it's driven her crazy.
The chemotherapy hurt her so badly sometimes she had to kick holes on the side of doors.
"Helga, what do you think about the name Charles for a boy?" Olga asked, flipping through a book of baby names and their meanings.
"How about no?"
"How about Michelangelo?"
"Nah," said Jonathan. "Don't like it."
"Perhaps Jacob?"
"Let's move on to girls' names, shall we?" Jonathan asked with a bit of annoyance in his voice.
"Um...let's see...Mary?"
"No," said Jonathan and Helga together.
"How about Juliet?"
"Yeah – as if we're living in the 16th century," snorted Helga. "C'mon, Olga. Think of a good name."
"I'm trying!" She sneered. She flipped more pages. "How about Doris?"
Jonathan and Helga chuckled. "No way am I naming my child Doris," said Jonathan.
"OUR child," corrected Olga. "Besides, I think it's a beautiful name."
Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You know what, why don't we hold off on the name calling. Let's make it, you know, spontaneous..."
"Spontaneous? That's a wonderful idea, Jon-Jon! You're so witty!" Olga kissed Jonathan on the lips.
Helga smiled. Now why can't everyone live happily like them? She got up and walked into the kitchen. Suddenly she froze at the door way to see Mariam and Big Bob sharing coffee – stealing a few kisses every now and then. Okay, everyone is happy in Helga's view. Helga let out a deep breath. "Yeah, well, I'm going to be going to the park, if you care," she said in a little voice.
Quickly, she got Arnold's letterman jacket and walked out the door. The brisk air sent chills up her spine. She loved the cold breeze blowing on her face. It made her feel so free.
The park was beautiful – full of flowers, full of life. Kids were playing in the sandbox, and playing baseball in the diamond. They were all so carefree.
Nothing could worry them.
Nothing.
Helga twirled around and let herself fall on the soft grass and let her mind wander off. Suddenly a pebble hit her arm. She curiously got up, rubbing her arm and saw Arnold kicking the rocky soil of the path. As he walked he didn't look up once, but rubbed his nose occasionally. Helga kept her eye on him until he sat on the park bench.
He buried his face in his hands.
Helga got up and walked towards Arnold. Quietly, she sat down next to her beloved. "Hey Arnold," she said softly, putting a hand on his back.
Arnold looked up. "Hi Helga," groaned Arnold.
"Are you okay, Arnold?" Helga asked compassionately, rubbing his back.
Arnold shook his head. "I thought I was over her. I was so confident I was – but I guess I'm not." There was pain in his voice.
"Why not?"
"Because today I saw her kissing Brainy. They were making-out! She never kissed me before! What makes him so different? I was better – wasn't I?"
"Yes, Arnold. You were and you still are. You just gotta stop thinking about her. She's scum. You can't keep revolving your life around her. There are better things out there! And it sure as hell isn't her."
Arnold drew in a deep breath. "You're right, Helga," he looked down at his feet shuffling in the dirt. "But maybe if I try to be like Brainy -,"
"Arnold!" said Helga in a sharp voice.
"I'm just kidding!" He put up both his hands.
He scanned her up and down. "I see you're finally wearing my varsity jacket?"
"Yes, it seems to be so," blushed Helga, pulling the jacket closer together in the middle.
"You look very nice in it." He leaned closer to her. "You also keep really nice care of it."
"Only because it's very special to me," said Helga under her breath, also leaning in towards him.
"Helga," began Arnold.
"Yes, Arnold?" she replied cautiously. Her eyes widened and sparkled under the sun.
"Thank you," he said slowly, touching his lips with hers.
Helga didn't know what to do next. She did love the kiss. Until Arnold let her lips go.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to.."
Helga couldn't help it. He was too cute, too innocent. She placed her hands on the back of his head and pulled him to her. They indulged into each other's lips and sweetly embraced.
"Oh Arnold," uttered Helga as she caught her breath, digging in for more.
Arnold had his hands moving all around the back of her body and Helga's arms were still hooked around his neck.
Thoughts flashed in her mind. This is too good to be true, she thought. So she pulled away. "Sorry – I can't. I mean, I just -,"
"It's okay," sighed Arnold. "It was really good though." He smiled at Helga.
Helga licked her lips briefly and smiled back. "Yes it was – and it's not like I wouldn't mind doing it again – but – you know, I um have to go," murmured Helga. She, of course, was very nervous.
"Oh. Okay." Arnold said. He sounded very disappointed. "Want me to drive you home?"
Helga smiled. Say YES HELGA! YES!!!! "Yeah, sure."
Together, they walked to his car with their fingers interwinded together. Arnold dropped her home with a quick kiss on the lips.
Helga floated into her room without a thought in her head and her mind at ease.
~*~3 more months later~*~
"Helga..." said Dr. Michaels, as he folded his hands together on the chestnut table. "You've been on this for around eight months...and...it has shown promise for these situations...but..."
"But it just didn't cut it for me?" Helga asked blankly.
He shook his head and looked down. "No, I'm sorry – but your cancer is still at large. You know, you can go to these nice places in Texas, maybe even Switzerland.."
Helga put up her hand. "No thanks. You know what, I think I'm going to stop the whole chemotherapy thing."
"What?"
"It's my body. It's my life. If I choose to destroy it then it's my choice. Obviously doing this treatment is getting no where. So why waste my parents's money on this?" Helga stated.
Dr. Michaels slowly nodded. "I understand. I respect your decision."
"About how much longer do you think I can stay like this?"
Dr. Michaels shrugged. "A month – maybe more...the max is probably three months."
"Thanks..."
***
"Good-bye stupid poems," sobbed Helga as she ripped pages out of her poem book. "All this time I thought I would be something. But NO!" She looked up at the ceiling, clenching the clods of paper in her hands. "I've been cursed." Angrily she pointed up.
"WHY MAKE ME SO TALENTED? HUH? WHY WASTE YOUR ENERGY ON ME?" Her voice was shaky and she was just crying hard in between each word and every breath she took.
"Why did you have to lead me on? I thought I could actually be something – someone. No. Now I'm going to be no one! Never amount to anything! I didn't even live my life yet! Why did you even waste your time creating me?"
There was a knock on the door. "Can I come in, Baby Sister?" Olga asked.
Helga wiped her eyes and sniffed. She stopped her crying. "Yeah, the door's open."
Olga's stomach was huge (being 8 months pregnant). "Jonathan and I were just wondering if you needed a ride anywhere before we go to the hospital."
"Why are you guys going to the hospital?"
"For our baby's check up, silly."
"Have you decided on a name for...it...yet?"
"If it's a boy, we'll name him either Chad or Marcus. If it's a girl, we'll name her either Margaret or Penelope!" Olga grinned.
"Oh..."
"Why? Don't you like the names?" Olga started to cry. "I've searched so long for these names! You can't just not like them can you?!"
"No, no, Olga!" said Helga quickly. "I love the names. Really."
Olga smiled. "So do you need us to take you anywhere?"
"No, that's okay. I think I'm going to stay at home. But have fun." Winked Helga.
"Bye!"
"Bye...." Olga left the room.
Helga sighed. The phone rang. "Hello?" She asked sadly.
"Hey Helga, It's me, Arnold."
"Oh. Hi Arnold."
"I was wondering if you would like to go out for a movie or something? That is, if you're not doing anything today." This was one of the many times Arnold asked Helga out. Even though they were mutually friends – they still stole a few kisses every now and then like in When Harry Met Sally.
"Oh, um. Sorry, but I can't. Because I'm sick. And I – yeah – I can't. Sorry," Helga lied. Yes, she did want to go out with him but she just wanted to feel sorry for herself.
"Oh. Will you be okay?"
"Yes. Of course. I'll be fine."
"Okay...well...see you at school on Monday?"
"Yup. Bye!" Helga hung up. Each minute she talked to him, she felt sorry for not telling him about her "condition".
About five minutes later, the door bell rang. Helga ran down the stairs and opened the door. It was Arnold. "Hey, I thought you could use some company." He smiled, kissing her cheek. "Can I come in?"
"Um. Sure, yeah." Helga moved to the side, and let Arnold walk in.
"You don't look very sick, Helga," said Arnold suspiciously. "Did you lie to me?"
"No, I didn't lie to you. I am sick – you just can't tell," mumbled Helga.
"Then what do you have? Have you got a fever?" He put his hand to her forehead. So loving, so care. Yet so annoying.
"I'm fine, Arnold." Helga swiped his hand away from her head. "I'm just not up for going anywhere today."
"Wow, you're really mad today, aren't you?" Arnold asked calmly. "How much longer do you plan on being like this?" He asked jokingly.
"a couple of months," murmured Helga angrily.
"What?"
"A couple of months!" Said Helga distinctively. I guess I should tell him now...
"What do you mean, 'a couple of months'? Are you moving?"
"No, Arnold...I – I'm...," she looked solemnly into his blue eyes. "I'm dying." She looked away and put a hand on her cheek.
"You're dying?" Arnold asked in disbelief. Say this is all a joke, Helga...oh please say it ain't so. "How can you be dying?"
"It's as plain as I said it. I've had cancer. For a long time – and this chemotherapy thing isn't working. So, you know, why hassle with it? I discontinued using it. So now, I'm estimated to live for a month or something."
"Well, aren't there these special treatment facilities somewhere? That you can go to?" Arnold complained.
"Yeah. But I don't want to."
"So you just want to die?"
"If I wasn't meant to die – the stupid chemotherapy would've worked by now."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
"Because,"
"Because what?" Arnold interjected.
"Because I didn't want you to worry. I thought this whole thing would go away and I wouldn't have to tell anyone – only Phoebe and my family knew..."
"Wasn't I good enough to be told?"
"Arnold. Really! Be sensible! I didn't want you to go through any confusion or pain...I didn't tell you because I cared too much about you."
"You care? Ha." He scoffed. "If you cared you should've told me and let me help you!"
"Look Arnold! It was hard to make that decision! What could you've done for me anyway? You would've treated me differently. What happened between us would've never happened. I only did what was best – I love you."
Arnold was distressed. "You love me? You love me?! How could you say that Helga? This means nothing to me – nothing. You don't love me enough to tell me important things in your life. Here I am, thinking that you and I are the closest of friends. Thinking that we can tell each other ANYTHING! But I was wrong."
"Arnold, please..." Helga said, beginning to cry. "Don't do this to me –,"
"Sorry, Helga. I can't stay." Arnold opened the door. "Good-bye," he said in a muffled voice. With those last words he walked out the door.
Helga didn't know what to do. The only thing she could do was fall to the ground and begin to cry her heart out.
A/N: Thanks for getting this far in my story! There's just one last chapter left. Yup. Well - - - don't forget to read and review! THANK YOU!