Ooh, I had a great weekend cause I saw this guy who looked just like Elijah Wood! *drool* (for those of you who don't know, I refuse to marry any man who is not Elijah Wood) Yeah, but this guy was smoking, so I was like, "I'm not putting the effort to train some nasty bum out no matter how pretty his eyes are." So instead of viciously pursuing my prey, I'm back to this…hmm, anyone else starting to question my social life? Well, you shouldn't, cause I got me a boyfriend! (kinda) *winks at Agent Willow, Chousoku, and Kodama* BWAHAHA!!! My evil underhanded nature can be matched by NONE!!! Hm…okay then, I think we should get this going on before I scare you all away with my various inside jokes.
Ooh! Warning!!! Agent Kodama would disapprove of this chapter! But then…she disapproves of lots of things, and I only think like three people will understand this warning at all, so just…be warned…yeah.
*****
All I Needed Was You
Part 8
*****
At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough
To make some wrongs seem right
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees
But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way.
-Creed Don't Stop Dancing
"No way, I can't carry all three of you." Shippo shook his head in refusal trying to look as tall as possible so that the three children would perhaps listen to what he had to say. Aiko's lip trembled in a fashion that was almost convincingly sad.
"But Shippo-niisama, today's my birthday and I wanna!" she pleaded, blinking large golden eyes up at the teenaged kitsune. "I'm six today!"
"Well I'm still ten years older than you, and I say no." Shippo told her.
"But if you add up Kanjou-kun and Aiko-chan and me, we're older than you, and we say yes." Asako told him, wishing that she was a bit taller. It was hard to be taken seriously when you had to crane your neck up to argue.
"Doesn't matter, I'm the one who's doing all the work, so I get to decide." Shippo crossed his arms stubbornly. He heard a nearby chuckle and saw that Inuyasha was watching the whole scene with no end of amusement.
"Please, Shippo-niisan?" Kanjou added his plea. "I thought you said you were strong enough for all three of us."
"I didn't mean I wanted to spend all afternoon hopping through the woods with you three bickering on my back." Shippo clarified. "And don't say you won't, cause whenever you aren't trying to get something from me or your parents, you're always arguing, the lot of you."
"That's not fair, Shippo, you can't just group me with them like some kind of little kid! I'm ten years old!" Asako told him indignantly.
"Feh, you're only one year older than Kanjou-kun." Shippo pointed out.
"Doesn't matter, girls are more grown up than boys." Asako pointed her chin up, a dangerous light in her eyes. "I'm practically older than you, Shippo!"
"Hardly! You're just a little girl!" Shippo shot back, insulted. But in the next moment he was clutching his stinging cheek, a red hand mark on the skin where Asako had slapped him.
"Hmph." She scowled and walked away, refusing to look at the outraged kitsune. Aiko and Kanjou shot him twin looks of absolute shock and horror before chasing after her.
"She…she hit me!" Shippo offered his amazement to Inuyasha, who shrugged, not seeming shocked in the slightest.
"Look at her mom." The hanyou offered. "Did you really think she'd always just be a passive little puppy?"
"She never really was passive to start out with." Shippo sighed as he moved over to sit next him.
"Got you on a short leash, eh?" Inuyasha laughed again, apparently thinking all of this was rather entertaining.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Shippo snorted indignantly. Inuyasha aimed him a level gaze.
"You're gonna take them on their picnic, aren't you?" he asked.
"I told them…I don't want…" Shippo sighed and dropped his head in resignation. "Yeah, probably. Now that she's mad at me…"
"Just like I thought." Inuyasha made an incredulous noise. "She's got you completely under control."
"She's like the little sister I never had." Shippo explained. "It drives me crazy to see her unhappy."
"Then why even put up a fight?" Inuyasha asked. "Take my word for it, that only makes everything harder. Always with Kagome I battled every step of the way. There were times when I knew she'd win, but I'd still fight. I still put up little fights every now and then, kinda like I'm so used to it that I can't really help it anymore. And Shippo, everything's a lot easier when I just agree with her. She doesn't get mad or cry or any of that shit."
"Yeah, but Kagome and you aren't anything like us. That's completely different." Shippo insisted.
"Really?" Inuyasha sounded only vaguely interested as he stretched out his arms and folded them behind his head.
"Are you saying…you think Asako-chan…and me…no way." Shippo shook his head.
"She still shares your blankets?" Inuyasha asked casually.
"Uh…not really…since she turned ten." Shippo told him, "She says she's too old for that kinda stuff. But it wasn't…like that. I was her big brother."
"Yep, kinda started that way for me." Inuyasha yawned lightly. "I didn't feel like Kagome's older brother, but I did feel like I had to take care of her, protect her and all that. But then it happened all the sudden. I was sitting up in a tree, watching over all of you as you slept and I wondered 'What the hell am I doing watching over a few humans and a little kitsune pup? I don't owe them anything.' And then I realized that for some damn reason, I cared about all of you. I felt like you guys were family. You were the little kid we all watched over, Sango and Miroku were like cousins or something, and Kagome…I realized that I wanted Kagome for my mate then, sitting up there in the middle of the night. When this hit me, I thought it was all ridiculous, and I laughed my ass off up there. None of you woke up, and eventually I calmed down, but things were never the same after that. I think I might have loved her before then, but when I realized the truth, I felt like it was my job to hide my feelings from her and to pretend that I wasn't in love. First of all, I owed Kikyo a lot, and I knew I might end up being killed. I didn't want to hurt Kagome like that. Then there was just the idea of letting my heart love someone again. See, with Kikyo, it was something different. I wanted to always be by her side because I didn't want anything else bad to happen to her, but with Kagome…I wanted to be by her side just because she's Kagome. I think sometimes that if things had gone differently, I would have really fallen for Kikyo like I did with Kagome, but I'm not sure. Kagome's the one that taught me to trust in myself and in others. If I couldn't really trust Kikyo, all the love in the world wouldn't have kept us together."
"She's really changed you, to make you talk about that private kind of stuff so openly." Shippo told him in surprise.
"Well, I wouldn't tell this to just anyone." Inuyasha offered him a small smile, "But you know, even before I had Kanjou and Aiko, you seemed like my own kid."
"Yeah, you always seemed like another father to me." Shippo admitted. "You taught me everything."
"I'm trying to teach you something here." Inuyasha told him. "Maybe things won't ever change between Asako and you, who knows? But when you look at her, you can tell what a great woman she'll be. It won't be long before she's…a lot different looking. When that happens, you might find out you feel things that you never did before, you might discover things you can only see when you look in her eyes." It was clear Inuyasha was thinking of Kagome from the dreamy expression in his voice. "Women are powerful and mysterious things, Shippo. Look at all the youkai I stood against, and all it took to get me under control was a girl. Women take you by surprise and they change you into something you thought you'd never be."
Shippo was about to answer when they heard a scream in the distance. Both Inuyasha and Shippo had leapt to their feet and were scenting the air before another moment passed. "Smell that?" Shippo asked, his eyes locked on the forest that the scream had obviously come from.
"Youkai…and the kids?" Inuyasha growled and Shippo and him leapt toward the forest in great, determined bounds. They didn't have far to go, but they heard more screams as they neared the area. Inuyasha's eyes were swirling with panic and murderous rage. If anything dared to hurt his babies…
"Asako!" Shippo called out as they landed in a clearing that was obviously somewhere near the source of the screams. "Aiko! Kanjou!"
"Shippo, come here." Inuyasha growled angrily at whatever he had found. Shippo joined him and looked down at what appeared to be a discarded sandal. He picked it up, color draining from his face.
"Asako's…" he gasped. Inuyasha was scenting the air again.
"It's this way, come on." He pulled the kitsune out of his reverie as he led him deeper into the forest. The children had left a clear enough trail, and they soon came across another clue.
"You can smell youkai all over the place here. It must have chased them." Inuyasha hurried along, not noticing what Shippo had found.
"Inuyasha!" Shippo caught up with the hanyou and handed him the torn bit of fabric with a question in his eyes.
"Aiko's." Inuyasha confirmed this by pressing it to his nose and inhaling deeply. "They're close now." As if to confirm this, there was another loud scream near them. Shippo and Inuyasha shot forward so fast that they almost collided with the huge snake youkai weaving a slow, hypnotic path toward the three children that were huddled in a ball on the ground.
"Everyone okay?" Shippo called out as the snake turned to face them instead. He was answered with frightened sobs.
"Bastard!" Inuyasha jumped at the youkai, slashing through its flesh with his claws. "Touch my kids, will you?" It fell to the ground and lay twitching, going through its final death throes as Shippo and Inuyasha ran over to the children. Asako was covering the other two with as much of her body as she could.
"Are you okay?" Shippo's voice was gentle as he lowered himself and slowly brushed the hair out of Asako's tear-streaked face.
"Shippo…the snake…we ran…Aiko tripped and…Kanjou saved her…got bit though." Asako was trembling with fear and relief all at the same time. She left the other two children to leap into Shippo's arms, letting him pat down her hair and making soothing noises as she cried on his shoulder. His arms tensed around her when he saw what she'd been guarding, though.
"My…babies." Inuyasha lifted Aiko first, who seemed to have nothing wrong with her except for extreme shock. She was shivering uncontrollably and didn't even respond to Inuyasha's presence as she continued to sob heavily. Kanjou was in far worse shape. Indeed, he appeared to have been bit by the snake youkai in the neck and shoulder. The hole in his neck went very deep as was the one in his shoulder, and Kanjou was making a sort of whimpering noise as he attempted to breathe but kept bleeding everywhere. Inuyasha made a strangled noise as he clutched both children to his chest as though this would make everything better. "Kanjou…you'll be okay."
"Da...daddy…" the little boy's voice was hoarse with all the blood clogging his airway. "I…saved her…sister…saved."
"Yeah you did, you saved her Kanjou." Inuyasha was now crying, tears spilling over Kanjou's wounded body.
"Dad…don't…cry." Kanjou sounded a bit shocked that his father was crying, he'd likely never seen such a thing before. "I saved…her…we're fine."
"Just fine." Inuyasha agreed. "I love you, Kanjou."
"Dad…love you…and mom." Kanjou gulped at the air that didn't seem to want to cooperate as Inuyasha shook with grief. "And…Aiko…Shippo and…Asako…love you…all…don't…cry." And then he fell silent, making a few croaking noises before laying completely limp in Inuyasha's arms.
Shippo's arms tightened further around Asako and she lifted her puffy, red face to look at him. "Is Kanjou gonna be okay?" she asked. Shippo paused before shaking his head slowly. Asako's sobs returned anew, and she clutched onto Shippo even more tightly. The kitsune felt sobs wracking his own body as he watched Inuyasha, for once seeming utterly hopeless look at him as though Shippo could fix everything.
"I'll…I'll go get the women." Shippo told the grieving father before heading off through the trees with Asako in his arms. His vision was blurred by tears, but he was back soon enough, and he went straight to the little house, where Kagome and Sango were sitting out on the porch. They both leapt to their feet when they saw him with Asako.
"What's wrong?" Kagome ran to him along with Sango, who was trying in vain to examine her sobbing daughter.
"Is Asako okay?" Sango asked urgently.
"There…was a youkai in the woods." Shippo explained, shifting Asako into one arm so he could wipe his tears away. "The kids…they stumbled across it."
"All of them? Is Asako hurt?" Sango was even more frantic now.
"Where's Aiko and Kanjou?" Kagome practically squealed in terror. "Are they hurt?"
"Asako and Aiko are fine." Shippo told them, suddenly wishing he hadn't volunteered for this. "But…the youkai got a hold of Kanjou."
"Kanjou?" both women asked in tremulous voices.
"He's…he died." Shippo told them, sniffling and wiping fresh tears away as Asako shook with almost convulsive sobs. The women took a moment to register this information.
"He's not…" Sango's eyes widened in horror.
"Dead? How can he…" Kagome choked on a sudden sob. Shippo hunched down and offered his back to them.
"I'll take you to him." He told them. Both women climbed on his back, both of them becoming extremely hysterical as he flew them to the spot where Inuyasha was still clutching to both his children, sobbing into Kanjou's ruined body. Kagome and Sango rushed over to him, Sango taking Aiko away from him and trying to comfort the girl while Kagome joined her husband, shaking with sobs as they both clutched at his body.
"What about…Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked the hanyou as they finally found the strength to stand, Inuyasha holding the body tightly.
"No, it wouldn't work right." Inuyasha told her. "His sword brings you back to life, but you're still wounded. If the wounds are treatable, it's okay, but Kanjou would just die again. The injuries…they're too much."
"Gone then…" Kagome sobbed again, letting one of Sango's arms pull her close.
"Where's Miroku?" Inuyasha asked.
"He…went to visit Kaede today." Sango told him. "I was expecting him back tonight."
"We'll go there." Inuyasha told her, pulling Kagome onto his back as Shippo let Sango climb back on his with Aiko still sobbing in her arms. As they bounded through treetops toward the place that Kaede lived, Shippo's thoughts were running around with no aim or direction. How could this happen? Why did I let this happen? Will Aiko be okay? Will Asako be okay? Will they ever forgive me for not being there? I always watch over them, but this time…when they needed me…I wasn't there. At least we saved Aiko and Asako. If that thing touched my Asako-chan…Will Kagome and Inuyasha be all right? Asako's safe, but she could've died too. She's my Asako-chan and no one can take her away. His thoughts flew randomly as they landed right in front of Kaede's house. Inuyasha simply carried his dead son in as everyone ran to follow him.
"—everyone else okay?" Miroku was asking as Shippo saw Kaede and him crowded over the body Inuyasha held, tears still falling down the hanyou's grim face.
"Yeah, I killed that fucking thing." Inuyasha growled at the memory. "I just…should we bury him?" he asked Kaede and Miroku who looked at each other before nodding.
"We'll prepare the grave and hold a ceremony at sunset." Miroku told Inuyasha, offering to take the body, which he finally relinquished. "You should get cleaned up. All of you should." He indicated the rest of the people. Kagome and Inuyasha of course had quite a bit of blood on their clothes. Aiko and Asako also had a lot of it, and that blood had gotten on Sango and Shippo.
"Yes, you should all sleep here tonight." Kaede offered. "But for now, off to the river and get yourselves clean."
"Shippo, could you go back to the house for Kirara? She'll worry when we don't come back." Sango asked him.
"All right." Shippo made as if to lower Asako, but she clutched to him even tighter than before. "Asako-chan, I have to go, but I'll be right back, I swear." He told her.
"Don't leave." She pleaded, tears welling up once more in her eyes. Shippo gave a resigned shrug.
"I guess Asako-chan's coming with me." He told Sango. "Don't worry, I'll watch over her."
"I know you will." Sango gave him a tiny, brave smile as he turned to leave, making his way through the trees once more.
"I'm weak." Asako spoke up just as he landed in front of the house.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm weak, aren't I?" Asako repeated. "If I'd been stronger like you or Inuyasha or mama or papa…if I was stronger, I could've saved him."
"Asako-chan, this isn't your fault." Shippo sat down on the porch to talk to her. "All of you trusted me to watch out for you, and I didn't."
"We can't always depend on you, Shippo." Asako told him, sniveling. "If I'd been stronger…"
"Stop! You couldn't have saved him, Asako-chan! This was my own fault for letting you three wander off!" Shippo told her forcefully.
"You aren't our guardian or anything! You don't have to watch us all the time! We should have learned to take care of ourselves!" Asako shouted back, jumping up to yell at him better.
"I should have taught you then!" Shippo countered.
"I should have asked you to!" She shot back.
"I should have known you'd need to learn!" Shippo fought. Suddenly, there was silence as both of them stared at each other. Shippo looking up at Asako for once.
"This is stupid." She told him finally. "We're fighting about whose fault this is, and it's not really anyone's, right?"
"You're right." Shippo smiled softly at her, "Funny how sometimes it seems like you're older than me."
"I told you, girls are more mature." Asako stated plainly.
"Yeah, I guess so." He answered. Asako looked like she wanted to add something else, but was unsure. "Asako-chan?"
"Am…am I you're little sister?" she asked hesitantly.
"Of course you are." He told Asako; surprised she'd ask such a question.
"No, I mean, am I really your sister?" she repeated.
"Well, no, but you knew that." He told her. "If you were really my sister, you'd have your own tail to play with. Why would you ask me that?"
"Because…I thought…do you remember when we were little and I asked you to marry me?" Asako asked him.
"Yeah, I suppose." Shippo wondered where all these questions could possibly be leading.
"Well…brothers and sisters don't get married." She began, unsure of how to continue.
"No, but Asako-chan, we were young then." Shippo reminded her. "It's not like it meant anything."
"But…I always thought that…when we grew up…when I became a woman for you…we could be together." Asako stumbled over her words as she spoke.
"Come on, that's silly Asako-chan. You're only a little girl. You can't be my mate." He told her, suddenly reminded of his conversation with Inuyasha earlier that day. Women are powerful and mysterious things he'd said. You can tell what a great woman she'll be. It won't be long… Shippo shook his head to clear it of the hanyou's voice. Why had he told those things to Shippo? It was just confusing him.
"I'm…I'm not a little girl!" she shouted at him, tears spilling from her eyes. "I love you and I'm trying hard to grow up fast so I can be a woman that you can love. But sometimes…it feels like I'll never grow up enough for you."
"You're…Asako-chan…" Shippo gasped at her intensity.
"I'm not so little you know! I'm only six years younger than you!" she told him. "Maybe it seems like a long time now, but when I'm a woman…when I'm grown up…it won't be that much of a difference."
"Asako-chan…just…just forget that. You're confused and upset because of Kanjou-kun." Shippo told her, offering his arms to her, which she collapsed into with no resistance. "Asako-chan, you are a little girl. Don't get mad about it, because it's the truth. I don't…I don't feel that way about you, so stop pushing yourself. I love you because in my heart, you're my little sister. I'd do anything for you, and you know it. If…if you want, I can teach you to be stronger."
"Really?" she sniffled, wiping her eyes.
"Sure." He told her. "Now let's get Kirara and head back, okay?"
"Okay." She smiled bravely through her tears.
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Shippo felt cold after the burial ceremony. He still felt cold that night as he tossed and turned restlessly in his blankets. This day…it had just been too full, too straining for all of them. It had left him feeling empty and lost inside. Tears still fell down his cheeks when he stopped to think over the day's events. Kanjou-kun…he was dead. He was dead and he couldn't come back. Footsteps near him made Shippo look around for the person who was disturbing his attempts at rest. "Asako-chan?" he whispered, not wanting to wake up any of the other people. "What's wrong?"
"Can I…can I sleep with you tonight?" She asked softly, plainly trembling with fright and sniffling. "I keep having bad dreams."
"All right, come on then." Shippo lifted his blanket and let her climb under the blankets and snuggle against him. He felt her shoulders shake in a heavy sob and Shippo wrapped his arms around her, stroking her dark hair smooth. "Shush, calm down now, Asako-chan. I'm right here." He whispered the comforting words as she slowly began to regain control of her emotions.
"You'll always protect me, won't you?" she breathed, exhausted from her overactive emotions and half asleep in his arms.
"Of course I will, you're my Asako-chan." He told her. Strange, he didn't feel so restless when she was here with him. And the cold feeling that hadn't left since the ceremony was slowly going away from him.
"I love you." She breathed as she fell asleep. Shippo didn't know what to say to that, so he just held her close as he too drifted out of wakefulness. It was amazing that this little girl could mean so much to him, could control him so easily. She could get him to agree to anything, and sometimes that worried Shippo. Why was he so powerless against her? In his mind, he heard Inuyasha's voice as he fell asleep When you look at her, you can tell what a great woman she'll be. It won't be long…You might find out you feel things that you never did before, you might discover things you can only see when you look in her eyes. Women are powerful and mysterious things…Women take you by surprise and they change you into something you thought you'd never be.
*****
The End (Of Part 8, That Is)