SPOILERS: TRUTH BE TOLD and SO IT BEGINS

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sydney's mind is an interesting place to visit but I don't want to live there. And now presenting the final chapter of her story. One day earlier than usual:)

CHAPTER 4: MOMENTS

I've tried to imagine this moment so many times. What exactly I'd do if my friends discovered the truth about what I do. Now, sitting here, with two pairs of eyes fixed upon me as they await my reply, I find I'm not sure what my next move should be.

Think you're hiding something from us. Could Will be more vague? What can I say? I certainly can't answer him until I know exactly what he's talking about. What could Francie and Will possibly know? I need time to figure out what I'm going to tell them.

Tears would work. That saying know your enemy seems appropriate right about now. Only in my case, it's know your friends. Will's weakness is tears. I try not to be too manipulative when it comes to my friends but sometimes, like in the instance when Will kept questioning Danny's murder, desperation drives me to it. I told him it would hurt too much to keep bringing Danny up, appealed to him to help me move on with my life, and I turned on the tears.

Yes, tears would work on Will--but not on Francie. Francie and I have been through a lot together. She's known me since before seventh grade and seen me cry more often than I want to admit. She'd know the difference. Francie wouldn't be fooled by my crocodile tears.

While these thoughts swirl through my mind at light speed, I put on my poker face and stall. "Hiding something?"

Francie shakes her head and twirls the fork in her hand. "See I told you this was ridiculous, Will! I told you we should just ask. See? Look at her face. She doesn't have the least idea what you're talking about."

Some say ignorance is bliss.

Will pulls a cracker from its plastic wrapper and crumbles it into his soup. "Okay. Maybe hiding is the wrong word."

Not to me. I somehow manage to look even more perplexed than before. "Will, if you have some sort of problem that concerns me, I'd like to know about it."

To me it means the difference between life and death for my friends.

Will sputters. "Wa-What I'm saying is people don't get obsessed like this, I mean they do. But it's not normal. Sure everyone has their personality quirks, but--you. Sydney, I've known you for over three years and I think I know you. I know I know you. But sometimes I just get this idea--"

Ignorance is dangerous. I know Will will get to the point sooner or later. "Idea?" I ask, anxiously.

He picks up his spoon. "Yeah. I mean all the hours you spend at the bank and the trips you go on--".

I frown. "We've had this conversation before and--"

"No, no! I know your job's important to you. It's not about that. You see, it's...there are things about you. It's strange. It's this idea that there's this whole other side to you that we never get to see. That I don't even know." Will's eyes search my face to see if I'm getting any of this. He leans back on the seat and stirs his soup. "But that's a crazy idea, right?"

Whoever said ignorance is bliss must have been a total idiot.

"I don't believe this!" Francie explodes, startling me because she's been quiet for so long. "That's not what you said before." She looks apologetically at me and tells all. "Will told me he thought you could be in trouble. Even had us stalking you this afternoon."

Ah, thank you, Francie! I glare at Will and fire a question at him. "Is that what this is about? Call me next time and I'll just send you an itinerary of my day and save you all the footwork!"

Will looks decidedly uncomfortable. "It's not how it sounds." He holds up his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Just wait a minute. I can explain the whole thing."

Francie's not done yet. "He said he had proof! That you were in trouble. So I worried."

That worries me a little too. "Proof?" I repeat, latching onto the word.

"I do!" Will starts fishing in his coat pocket. "I really do."

"Where is it, Will?" Francie challenges, not willing to believe anything he has to say right now. "Where's your proof?"

Will pulls out the item and waves it. "See. Here it is!"

Seeing what he has just produced from his pocket, Francie and I both stare at him.

I do my best to keep my tone level and even. "Will?"

"Yeah?"

"That's my make-up."

"Yes, yes it is. Exhibit A."

"That's it? That's your proof?"

"It's cover-up. Some people use it on bruises."

I'm aware of that. "Will." This time I don't care if my voice sounds angry. "What are you doing with my cover-up?"

"I was using your bathroom. I dropped my glasses in the trash can. Accidentally. And found this."

"It proves what?" I ask, throwing up my hands.

Francie shakes her head in disbelief. "Will, hate to break it you, buddy, but you've lost your mind!"

Will sighs but continues. "Just hear me out. Please?"

It never rains 'til it pours. After a moment's thought, I nod. "Okay. I'm listening."

"I have to go back to the beginning. I think it's because--" Will's voice sounds really serious now. "There was that thing!"

"What thing?" I ask.

"That thing that you never explained. You remember? It's ages ago now. Not that it required any explanation. Cause I'm your friend and I trust you. I wouldn't have brought it up, except...I got worried."

In a flash, I realize what 'thing' he means.

It was one of my darkest hours. Danny was dead and my grief was devastating. All I wanted was out. I hadn't darkened the doors of the Credit Dauphine in months and SD-6 came after me. That's when I found out the truth about my dad and everything else. That's when I decided I wasn't going to run anymore. But I had to do something to get back in Sloane's good graces and I knew just the item that would do that.

I had to get to Taiwan. But I wasn't working for the CIA back then. And being on the SD-6 hit list, I couldn't use my Kate Jone's alias let alone my own identity. To embark on my mission hinged on my ability to book a flight and travel to and from the country undetected.

It was an extreme circumstance and if I could have found another way, I would have. But I came to him, because I had no one else to go to for help. I met Will on the roof of the newspaper office and asked to borrow his sister Amy's passport and credit card. He let me have them, no explanation required. Shows you what kind of guy he is.

But why now? That was so long ago. Why would Will worry about it now?

Will answers the question for me. "At the office, there was this pal of mine working on a story. It was about people in these controlling relationships. Everything starts out in the usual way. Like say a woman gets a boyfriend. But he's always calling her checking on her to see where's she's at. Always wants to know where she's going. Pretty soon he starts telling her what to do and what not to do. Suddenly, it's like her life's not her own anymore. And he makes her keep their relationship a secret. Then, he starts beating on her, but she makes excuses. She covers it up. Her friends ask she what's going on but only get vague answers. It's like she's got this hidden life that nobody knows about. But she's trapped because she feels guilty. She thinks the whole thing is her fault. She thinks she should have seen what he was like sooner. She's obsessed with keeping the secret, even though it's killing her. Her friends don't figure out the warning signs until it's too late."

Will pauses while the bus boy comes and whisks away an empty salad plate.

"So I have this idea and I hear this story and then I see this empty thing of cover-up in your trash," Will concludes. He looks at me solemnly. "So, stupid as sounds, I had to ask you this, Sydney. Is there anyone in your life that we don't know about? Like that guy that gave you the frame..."

Francie gapes at him. "Whoa, Will. But this is Syd we're talking about here. She's smart. If something like that was happening to her, she'd tell us. Right, Syd?"

I can't help breathing an inner sigh of relief.

They don't know.

"Yes," I reply. "There are tons of people in my life you don't know about. But no one you should need to worry about. What else would you expect me to say, Will? I work at a bank. And there are a lot of reasons to wear cover-up." I hope they don't ask me to name one.

They believe me. My friends look relieved and a little embarrassed.

I do my best to reassure them. "Hey, it's okay." I look at my two friends and a smile springs to my lips. My two friends who are so willing to intervene in my behalf if I'm ever in trouble. True tears gather in my eyes. I dab them away. "Thank you. I do appreciate what you tried to do." I brush a stray strand of hair away from my face. "Can you all promise me something though? After tonight, forget we ever had this conversation?"

There's a unanimous agreement.

Our mood immediately lightens. It's smiles and hugs all round and then our food arrives.

Soon our table is buzzing with lively banter and conversation just like always.

"So what did you think, Will? The secret life of Sydney Bristow. The only mild-mannered reporter I see around here is you. So maybe you're Superman."

"Hey, I am Superman."

"In your dreams!"

I know there will be other moments. More times my friends will ask questions I won't be able to answer. When for a moment my friends will become friendly foes and I'll use my skills at being interrogated to deflect them from realizing my true objective. Doing whatever I can to keep them safe.

And I'm okay with that.

I'll take each moment as it comes and do my job as well as I possibly can. Do it so well that one day, when the truth finally does come out, SD-6 will have lost the power to hurt the ones I love.

A rare sense of peace fills me as we laugh over our dinner.