Discalimer: I do not own any of these people. If Legolas were in this story
I'd own him (or at least try to).
A/N: This is why Tom Bombadil and Goldberry were not in the movie…oooo
*******
"AHHHH!!!", yelled Merry.
"Dude, what the hell?", Frodo looked at him oddly.
"The tree's eating me!!"
"Love, trees can't eat people."
"Who said that? Sam!?!"
Sam laughed.
"Don't just stand there! Get some damned help!!"
With that Frodo and Sam ran down the road. There they saw a house, with a weird guy doing the macarena in the garden.
"Dude, what are you doin?"
"I'm dancing to the music in my head!"
Frodo was very interested. "Really, what type of music is it?"
"It's my own personal theme song!", said the strange man.
"How does it go?" asked Sam.
"Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!", he proceeded to dance around merrily.
"Dude, that song rules!", Frodo started dancing around too.
"Damn, you guys, we need to save Merry.", Sam pointed out.
"Why? What wrong with him?", asked Tom.
"The tree's eating him."
"Oh. Old man willow?"
"It was a willow tree."
"Yup, that's him. He's pretty moody."
"Wicked cool. A moody tree!", Sam exclaimed.
"Yeah, we have to go fast to save him!", yelled Tom, who was already running off. "Follow me!"
Sam and Frodo followed Tom around the house. Once they got to the other side, they saw Tom was revving up a Zambodi.
"Whoa. Cool!', yelled Frodo, and he and Sam jumped up onto it.
They sped into the woods to Old Man Willow and Merry.
*****
"Dude, Merry, you okay?", Frodo asked, as soon as they had gotten there.
"Oh yeah. I'm just dandy. And once the tree's done eating me, I plan to go to the pub and get a pint!"
Frodo shrugged. "Well, if you're fine, I'd really like to go for a ride on the Zamboni again."
"Okie Dokie.", and Tom revved up the machine once more.
They sped off, towards Tom's house.
******
"Honey, I'm home!", Tom called out and Goldberry came in.
"How many times do I have to tell you, don't call me honey!"
"But-"
"No I- wait who have we here?", she smiled at Sam.
"That's Sam and Frodo.", said Tom. "Now, Goldberry."
"Quiet.", she interrupted. "So, Sam, are you available."
A frown crossed Tom's face. "Goldberry, you know what our marriage counselor says. We need to work things out." She ignored him and proceeded to flirt with Sam. "GOLDBERRY!!"
Tom ran out of the house, and returned a couple minutes later with a shovel. "Get out! Get out of my house", he yelled, chasing Sam and Frodo with the shovel above his head. They ran out of the house, and Tom locked the door behind them.
Sam looked at Frodo. "I think they need some help with their marriage."
"Yeah."
They thought for a while. "Let's go to the pub!", said Frodo, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, we can wait for Merry there."
And they walked off into the sunset.
A/N: This is why Tom Bombadil and Goldberry were not in the movie…oooo
*******
"AHHHH!!!", yelled Merry.
"Dude, what the hell?", Frodo looked at him oddly.
"The tree's eating me!!"
"Love, trees can't eat people."
"Who said that? Sam!?!"
Sam laughed.
"Don't just stand there! Get some damned help!!"
With that Frodo and Sam ran down the road. There they saw a house, with a weird guy doing the macarena in the garden.
"Dude, what are you doin?"
"I'm dancing to the music in my head!"
Frodo was very interested. "Really, what type of music is it?"
"It's my own personal theme song!", said the strange man.
"How does it go?" asked Sam.
"Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo!", he proceeded to dance around merrily.
"Dude, that song rules!", Frodo started dancing around too.
"Damn, you guys, we need to save Merry.", Sam pointed out.
"Why? What wrong with him?", asked Tom.
"The tree's eating him."
"Oh. Old man willow?"
"It was a willow tree."
"Yup, that's him. He's pretty moody."
"Wicked cool. A moody tree!", Sam exclaimed.
"Yeah, we have to go fast to save him!", yelled Tom, who was already running off. "Follow me!"
Sam and Frodo followed Tom around the house. Once they got to the other side, they saw Tom was revving up a Zambodi.
"Whoa. Cool!', yelled Frodo, and he and Sam jumped up onto it.
They sped into the woods to Old Man Willow and Merry.
*****
"Dude, Merry, you okay?", Frodo asked, as soon as they had gotten there.
"Oh yeah. I'm just dandy. And once the tree's done eating me, I plan to go to the pub and get a pint!"
Frodo shrugged. "Well, if you're fine, I'd really like to go for a ride on the Zamboni again."
"Okie Dokie.", and Tom revved up the machine once more.
They sped off, towards Tom's house.
******
"Honey, I'm home!", Tom called out and Goldberry came in.
"How many times do I have to tell you, don't call me honey!"
"But-"
"No I- wait who have we here?", she smiled at Sam.
"That's Sam and Frodo.", said Tom. "Now, Goldberry."
"Quiet.", she interrupted. "So, Sam, are you available."
A frown crossed Tom's face. "Goldberry, you know what our marriage counselor says. We need to work things out." She ignored him and proceeded to flirt with Sam. "GOLDBERRY!!"
Tom ran out of the house, and returned a couple minutes later with a shovel. "Get out! Get out of my house", he yelled, chasing Sam and Frodo with the shovel above his head. They ran out of the house, and Tom locked the door behind them.
Sam looked at Frodo. "I think they need some help with their marriage."
"Yeah."
They thought for a while. "Let's go to the pub!", said Frodo, breaking the silence.
"Yeah, we can wait for Merry there."
And they walked off into the sunset.