Hermione found herself standing in the middle of her bedroom after having
disapparated from Dumbledore's office. She let out a heavy sigh and walked
into her bathroom.
"God I need a hot shower," she mumbled as she reached in and turned on her shower, filling the room with steam as the water heated. She freed herself of her clothes and walked under the hot spray, letting it cover her body. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.
"What have you done, Harry," Hermione said as she moved to let the scalding water fall on her head.
She reached over and grabbed a bar of soap, the foam forming as she rubbed it across her skin. In a sense she was washing her body of the day's turmoil. And as she began to think about Harry and the way he had acted towards her and Ron, she remembered the times that they had shard when they were at Hogwarts in their seventh year.
She thought about all of the kisses and the long walks. The late night talks that turned into even later nights in his prefect bedroom...
It had been a year full of surprises, but upon graduation, everything that they had shared was shattered. Then a forgotten memory came into mind.
-=-=-=-=-
Their graduation from Hogwarts had occured only three weeks ago. Things were still very confusing for Hermione and at times she wondered if her world was really upside down. Some things had straightened themselves out, though. She had found a stable place to live in London. A rather cozy muggle apartment across the street from a small sidewalk cafe that she had stopped at frequently.
Hermione was looking out her window at the cafe. It was getting late and the owners of the small cafe were closing the place down. She watched as the lights went out and the people locked up for the night.
Hermione turned around and began to walk into her bedroom when she ran into someone. Startled, she jumped back until she saw that it was Harry.
"Hey, you," she said kindly. Harry didn't smile back or speak to her. He just stood there and looked sullen. There was something about his eyes that told an unwanted story. He just wasn't himself.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked as she walked over to him. He opened his mout and tried to speak, but no words came out. Instead, his body collapsed and he fell into her arms. He cried softly, his tears faling onto her shirt. She said soft, meaningless comforts into his ear.
"I've failed you, Mione. I don't know what to do," Harry said weakly. Hermione pulled his face back and looked at him. She wiped some of the tears away from his face and smiled.
"You haven't failed me. You could never fail me," Hermione said softly. She leaned close into him and kissed his lips gently. He gave up trying to speak and kissed her back with a fierce intensity.
Before either of them could consciously know it, clothes were being ripped off and kisses were being shared as they made their way stumbling to te bedroom.
Some time later Hermione remembered waking up to a cold, empty bed beside her. She frowned when all she saw was a note left on the pillow. She covered her naked form as she sat up and read the note through watery eyes.
Mione~
I wanted to be here when you woke up. Be the first thing that you would see every morning for the rest of your life. But not everything goes as planned. In the name of love I have to give up what we would have shared for something that means more to me than I ever thought anything would. I hope you can forgive me.
I Love You Always,
Harry
Hermione clenched the letter tightly in her fist after she had finished reading it. Tears dripped down her cheeks and landed on the soft material of the blankets that Harry had just laid on hours before. The note was laid back down on his pillow crumpled and torn. Hermione walked to the window baring nothing but her skin, and she looked outside to see the rain.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hermione came out of her flashback and turned off the water to her shower. She stepped out and walked over to her mirror. She wiped the fog off of the surface and looked at herself. She tried to smile but found that it didn't work, so she turned and grabbed a bathrobe and walked out into her bedroom.
She found a shirt and some pajama pants hanging over a chair and she put them on quickly. After finishing dressing, she went into her living room and paced for a while. No matter where in her apartment she paced, she always ended back in front of her firecplace, staring at the picture of her, Ron, and Harry.
She reached up touch it when a warm hand came and touched her on the shoulder. She jerked around and looked at the person touching her. It was Harry. He smiled a little and removed his hand from her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione said when she found her voice.
"I felt bad for not having spoken to you today. I wanted to come and talk."
Hermione raised a questioning eyebrow and motioned for the two of them to go and sit on the couch. they did and they spent some time just sitting and looking over each other. Hermione was the first one to break the silence.
"Harry, why did you leave the wizarding world?" Hermione asked.
"Because I couldn't stay," he said as he looked at his feet.
"Why couldn't you stay?" Hermione asked.
"Because I would be tempted."
"Tempted by what?"
"Magic."
Hermione tried to think and understand about what Harry was talking about. But she really didn't know, and so she questioned him.
"Care to elaborate?" she said.
"Did you ever wonder why I left you?" Harry said out of nowhere. Hermione stiffened and managed to nod her head at the question. "I left you for your safety. I made a pact with...with Voldemort three weeks after our graduation."
"You made a pact with Voldemort?" Hermione asked in a shocked voice.
"Yes. It was the only thing I could do at the time. We made a deal over your safety. He told me that he wouldn't harm you if I would stop using magic." Harry paused for Hermione to register the information. "I made him the promise and we made a wizards' pact. You know they can't be broken." Hermione nodded silently. Harry continued, "I left that meeting and swore to myself that I would keep that promise because I loved you so much."
Hermione let a tear roll down her cheek and fall onto the couch. Harry wiped it away and continued to talk.
"I came to the apartment that night to tell you what I had done, but when I saw you, I knew that I couldn't be in the picture if I couldn't use my magic. I just felt like I wouldn't be good enough for you."
Harry looked over at Hermione to see that she was looking very strangely at him. It was a half thankful and half regretful look. The tears had stopped and she stared at him. All of a sudden life flared back into her eyes.
"You thought that you wouldn't be good enough for me?" Hermione asked incredulously. Harry meerly nodded at her, his speech having stopped. "I can't believe you. you left me alone all this time just because you didn't think that you'd be good enough for me."
"I wasn't thinking," Harry said defensively.
"Then why didn't you come back to me?!" Hermione said, standing up.
"Once I had left, I just couldn't bring myself to do it."
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose as she did when she was upset or tired. She looked back up at Harry and pointed to the door.
"I don't think I can deal with all of this or with -you- right now. Just give me some time and get out," Hermione said sharply.
Harry nodded and stood up, going to the door and opening it. He took one last look at Hermione and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Hermione stood in the middle of her living room staring at the back of the closed door.
After a while she felt like her mind was caving into itself. Everything she thought had a contradictory effect to itself. And then when she pondered the thoughts, more thoughts surfaced, giving her a stuffy feeling.
Her temper soon began to flare. Not only at herself, but at Harry for leaving her alone all those years ago, and just moments before. She was pissed for everything that he had ever done to her or anyone in general. The picture hanging over the fireplace began to make her angry. She stared at it until her temper flared and got the best of her. She needed something to make the picture quit moving. Something heavy... She went to pick up a book off of the coffee table.
Her fingers had barely touched it when she felt a pulling feeling behind her navel. She kept her eyes shut tight when she realized that the book she had gone to pick up had been a portkey.
Soon she felt the hard ground beneath her feet and she opened her eyes to see a man in black standing before her, smiling.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
END CHAP FOUR
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
a/n: ooohhhh.....i have never done a cliffhanger before. who is the strange man in black? stay tuned for our next episode of 'it's been a while'. thanks to rangerprincess56's idea for the portkey. and be sure to REVIEW
"God I need a hot shower," she mumbled as she reached in and turned on her shower, filling the room with steam as the water heated. She freed herself of her clothes and walked under the hot spray, letting it cover her body. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.
"What have you done, Harry," Hermione said as she moved to let the scalding water fall on her head.
She reached over and grabbed a bar of soap, the foam forming as she rubbed it across her skin. In a sense she was washing her body of the day's turmoil. And as she began to think about Harry and the way he had acted towards her and Ron, she remembered the times that they had shard when they were at Hogwarts in their seventh year.
She thought about all of the kisses and the long walks. The late night talks that turned into even later nights in his prefect bedroom...
It had been a year full of surprises, but upon graduation, everything that they had shared was shattered. Then a forgotten memory came into mind.
-=-=-=-=-
Their graduation from Hogwarts had occured only three weeks ago. Things were still very confusing for Hermione and at times she wondered if her world was really upside down. Some things had straightened themselves out, though. She had found a stable place to live in London. A rather cozy muggle apartment across the street from a small sidewalk cafe that she had stopped at frequently.
Hermione was looking out her window at the cafe. It was getting late and the owners of the small cafe were closing the place down. She watched as the lights went out and the people locked up for the night.
Hermione turned around and began to walk into her bedroom when she ran into someone. Startled, she jumped back until she saw that it was Harry.
"Hey, you," she said kindly. Harry didn't smile back or speak to her. He just stood there and looked sullen. There was something about his eyes that told an unwanted story. He just wasn't himself.
"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked as she walked over to him. He opened his mout and tried to speak, but no words came out. Instead, his body collapsed and he fell into her arms. He cried softly, his tears faling onto her shirt. She said soft, meaningless comforts into his ear.
"I've failed you, Mione. I don't know what to do," Harry said weakly. Hermione pulled his face back and looked at him. She wiped some of the tears away from his face and smiled.
"You haven't failed me. You could never fail me," Hermione said softly. She leaned close into him and kissed his lips gently. He gave up trying to speak and kissed her back with a fierce intensity.
Before either of them could consciously know it, clothes were being ripped off and kisses were being shared as they made their way stumbling to te bedroom.
Some time later Hermione remembered waking up to a cold, empty bed beside her. She frowned when all she saw was a note left on the pillow. She covered her naked form as she sat up and read the note through watery eyes.
Mione~
I wanted to be here when you woke up. Be the first thing that you would see every morning for the rest of your life. But not everything goes as planned. In the name of love I have to give up what we would have shared for something that means more to me than I ever thought anything would. I hope you can forgive me.
I Love You Always,
Harry
Hermione clenched the letter tightly in her fist after she had finished reading it. Tears dripped down her cheeks and landed on the soft material of the blankets that Harry had just laid on hours before. The note was laid back down on his pillow crumpled and torn. Hermione walked to the window baring nothing but her skin, and she looked outside to see the rain.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hermione came out of her flashback and turned off the water to her shower. She stepped out and walked over to her mirror. She wiped the fog off of the surface and looked at herself. She tried to smile but found that it didn't work, so she turned and grabbed a bathrobe and walked out into her bedroom.
She found a shirt and some pajama pants hanging over a chair and she put them on quickly. After finishing dressing, she went into her living room and paced for a while. No matter where in her apartment she paced, she always ended back in front of her firecplace, staring at the picture of her, Ron, and Harry.
She reached up touch it when a warm hand came and touched her on the shoulder. She jerked around and looked at the person touching her. It was Harry. He smiled a little and removed his hand from her shoulder.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione said when she found her voice.
"I felt bad for not having spoken to you today. I wanted to come and talk."
Hermione raised a questioning eyebrow and motioned for the two of them to go and sit on the couch. they did and they spent some time just sitting and looking over each other. Hermione was the first one to break the silence.
"Harry, why did you leave the wizarding world?" Hermione asked.
"Because I couldn't stay," he said as he looked at his feet.
"Why couldn't you stay?" Hermione asked.
"Because I would be tempted."
"Tempted by what?"
"Magic."
Hermione tried to think and understand about what Harry was talking about. But she really didn't know, and so she questioned him.
"Care to elaborate?" she said.
"Did you ever wonder why I left you?" Harry said out of nowhere. Hermione stiffened and managed to nod her head at the question. "I left you for your safety. I made a pact with...with Voldemort three weeks after our graduation."
"You made a pact with Voldemort?" Hermione asked in a shocked voice.
"Yes. It was the only thing I could do at the time. We made a deal over your safety. He told me that he wouldn't harm you if I would stop using magic." Harry paused for Hermione to register the information. "I made him the promise and we made a wizards' pact. You know they can't be broken." Hermione nodded silently. Harry continued, "I left that meeting and swore to myself that I would keep that promise because I loved you so much."
Hermione let a tear roll down her cheek and fall onto the couch. Harry wiped it away and continued to talk.
"I came to the apartment that night to tell you what I had done, but when I saw you, I knew that I couldn't be in the picture if I couldn't use my magic. I just felt like I wouldn't be good enough for you."
Harry looked over at Hermione to see that she was looking very strangely at him. It was a half thankful and half regretful look. The tears had stopped and she stared at him. All of a sudden life flared back into her eyes.
"You thought that you wouldn't be good enough for me?" Hermione asked incredulously. Harry meerly nodded at her, his speech having stopped. "I can't believe you. you left me alone all this time just because you didn't think that you'd be good enough for me."
"I wasn't thinking," Harry said defensively.
"Then why didn't you come back to me?!" Hermione said, standing up.
"Once I had left, I just couldn't bring myself to do it."
Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose as she did when she was upset or tired. She looked back up at Harry and pointed to the door.
"I don't think I can deal with all of this or with -you- right now. Just give me some time and get out," Hermione said sharply.
Harry nodded and stood up, going to the door and opening it. He took one last look at Hermione and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Hermione stood in the middle of her living room staring at the back of the closed door.
After a while she felt like her mind was caving into itself. Everything she thought had a contradictory effect to itself. And then when she pondered the thoughts, more thoughts surfaced, giving her a stuffy feeling.
Her temper soon began to flare. Not only at herself, but at Harry for leaving her alone all those years ago, and just moments before. She was pissed for everything that he had ever done to her or anyone in general. The picture hanging over the fireplace began to make her angry. She stared at it until her temper flared and got the best of her. She needed something to make the picture quit moving. Something heavy... She went to pick up a book off of the coffee table.
Her fingers had barely touched it when she felt a pulling feeling behind her navel. She kept her eyes shut tight when she realized that the book she had gone to pick up had been a portkey.
Soon she felt the hard ground beneath her feet and she opened her eyes to see a man in black standing before her, smiling.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
END CHAP FOUR
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
a/n: ooohhhh.....i have never done a cliffhanger before. who is the strange man in black? stay tuned for our next episode of 'it's been a while'. thanks to rangerprincess56's idea for the portkey. and be sure to REVIEW