"Your mother has just owled me, to inform me that your father is hiding
under his desk with a bottle of port and he refuses to come out."
Ron snickered and Draco shot him an irritated glance.
"She told him the bad news, I take it."
"You can expect a Howler sometime tomorrow,"said Professor Snape. "You should expect one as well, Mr. Weasley."
Not from his own parents. He had already told them everything. It had been the most humiliating moment of his life, first having to confess that he was gay, then having to confess that he had gone out a couple of times with Malfoy, and slept with him, and finally, gotten him pregnant by mysterious magical means.
The twins found this hysterical.
"Malfoy is pregnant? How is he going to manage?" George asked through his laughter. "He's so little!"
"Shut up!" Ron found himself shouting.
"Try to show a little consideration for your brother," Dad admonished the twins. Ginny nodded in agreement.
"Poor Draco, He must be so embarrassed. Mum, we should bake him cookies."
Draco's family, on the other hand, had apparently hit the roof when they were told of what had happened. Lucius especially was furious, because Draco had waited six months to tell them. He ranted that if Draco had only come to him earlier, they could have aborted the child and there would be no problem now. This only cemented Ron's hatred for Mr. Malfoy.
"It could have been worse, I suppose," Draco said. "I'm still alive." He made a face. "Owwwww!"
"What?" Ron panicked.
"It kicked me. It just bloody kicked me!"
"Calm down!" Ron snapped. "It happens."
"I will not calm down. My own child is attacking me!" Draco pounded his little fists against the mattress. "I hate this! I hate it, hate it, hate it!"
"Shhh, shhh", Ron grabbed his hand instinctually and began stroking the back. "Breathe."
"Ahhhhrrrrhhh" Draco howled and threw his tissue box across the room. Professor Snape seemed to be trying really hard not to laugh.
"I'll just-leave you two alone, shall I?" He smirked and swept out.
"I can't stand that man,"Ron said.
"Oh, he's not that bad. He's kind of cool, actually. "
"Cool?"
"He lets us stay up late and he buys us candy. And he lies to Father about my grades."
"He does not," Ron snorted.
"Okay, he doesn't do any of those things really. But he's still cool. "
"How ?"
Draco stuffed a Pumpkin Pastie in his mouth.
"Cause heth the only teacher who's never treated me like dirt because of my last name."
"Well, he's the only teacher who DOES treat me like dirt because of my last name," Ron countered.
"Not because of your name, because of Potter's and you hang around with Potter. He's just awful to you because you're a moron."
"Yeah? Well, screw you."
Draco patted his stomach.
"You already did. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here."
"You want a knuckle sandwich, Malfoy?"
"You wouldn't hit a pregnant person," Draco said smugly. He turned up the volume on the TV and focused his attention on it.
And Draco was right. Ron would never have been able to get violent with him in his current state. He couldn't hit a pregnant person any more than he could hit an old person, or someone with glasses. Now that Draco was carrying his baby, it was like they were sort of a couple, and if one person in a couple hit the other one, that was like domestic violence or something.
"Oh, it's that show!" Draco said. "There's this program on the Muggle television, with this man who wakes up on a space ship and he's the only human left of his crew. And there's this bald headed robot, and a bossy, sort of see through person called a hologram, and a talking box and a person who evolved from a cat. It's hilarious, you have to see it."
"You're putting me on."
"No, I'm serious. Look." Draco gestured at the TV with his remote control. "I don't get most of the jokes, but crap blows up all the time and that's pretty funny. Apparently, it is a parody of a couple of other shows that are even weirder. Like, there's this old, old show where this man travels through time in a fellytone booth, and in each time period, he looks different so you have to figure out which one he is. The scenery is the fakest looking stuff I've ever seen."
" Muggles are really strange."
"Sometimes I think they try to trick us and have the man played by a completely different actor."
"That's not fair," said Ron. He shifted on the bed to get a better look at the TV.
"I heard they had a show that's got all gay men, and they have sex with each other all the time," Draco sounded awed. "With nudity and everything. It's not porn, it's a real tv show."
"Okay, Malfoy,"Ron snorted. "Now you're making things up."
TBC.
Ron snickered and Draco shot him an irritated glance.
"She told him the bad news, I take it."
"You can expect a Howler sometime tomorrow,"said Professor Snape. "You should expect one as well, Mr. Weasley."
Not from his own parents. He had already told them everything. It had been the most humiliating moment of his life, first having to confess that he was gay, then having to confess that he had gone out a couple of times with Malfoy, and slept with him, and finally, gotten him pregnant by mysterious magical means.
The twins found this hysterical.
"Malfoy is pregnant? How is he going to manage?" George asked through his laughter. "He's so little!"
"Shut up!" Ron found himself shouting.
"Try to show a little consideration for your brother," Dad admonished the twins. Ginny nodded in agreement.
"Poor Draco, He must be so embarrassed. Mum, we should bake him cookies."
Draco's family, on the other hand, had apparently hit the roof when they were told of what had happened. Lucius especially was furious, because Draco had waited six months to tell them. He ranted that if Draco had only come to him earlier, they could have aborted the child and there would be no problem now. This only cemented Ron's hatred for Mr. Malfoy.
"It could have been worse, I suppose," Draco said. "I'm still alive." He made a face. "Owwwww!"
"What?" Ron panicked.
"It kicked me. It just bloody kicked me!"
"Calm down!" Ron snapped. "It happens."
"I will not calm down. My own child is attacking me!" Draco pounded his little fists against the mattress. "I hate this! I hate it, hate it, hate it!"
"Shhh, shhh", Ron grabbed his hand instinctually and began stroking the back. "Breathe."
"Ahhhhrrrrhhh" Draco howled and threw his tissue box across the room. Professor Snape seemed to be trying really hard not to laugh.
"I'll just-leave you two alone, shall I?" He smirked and swept out.
"I can't stand that man,"Ron said.
"Oh, he's not that bad. He's kind of cool, actually. "
"Cool?"
"He lets us stay up late and he buys us candy. And he lies to Father about my grades."
"He does not," Ron snorted.
"Okay, he doesn't do any of those things really. But he's still cool. "
"How ?"
Draco stuffed a Pumpkin Pastie in his mouth.
"Cause heth the only teacher who's never treated me like dirt because of my last name."
"Well, he's the only teacher who DOES treat me like dirt because of my last name," Ron countered.
"Not because of your name, because of Potter's and you hang around with Potter. He's just awful to you because you're a moron."
"Yeah? Well, screw you."
Draco patted his stomach.
"You already did. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here."
"You want a knuckle sandwich, Malfoy?"
"You wouldn't hit a pregnant person," Draco said smugly. He turned up the volume on the TV and focused his attention on it.
And Draco was right. Ron would never have been able to get violent with him in his current state. He couldn't hit a pregnant person any more than he could hit an old person, or someone with glasses. Now that Draco was carrying his baby, it was like they were sort of a couple, and if one person in a couple hit the other one, that was like domestic violence or something.
"Oh, it's that show!" Draco said. "There's this program on the Muggle television, with this man who wakes up on a space ship and he's the only human left of his crew. And there's this bald headed robot, and a bossy, sort of see through person called a hologram, and a talking box and a person who evolved from a cat. It's hilarious, you have to see it."
"You're putting me on."
"No, I'm serious. Look." Draco gestured at the TV with his remote control. "I don't get most of the jokes, but crap blows up all the time and that's pretty funny. Apparently, it is a parody of a couple of other shows that are even weirder. Like, there's this old, old show where this man travels through time in a fellytone booth, and in each time period, he looks different so you have to figure out which one he is. The scenery is the fakest looking stuff I've ever seen."
" Muggles are really strange."
"Sometimes I think they try to trick us and have the man played by a completely different actor."
"That's not fair," said Ron. He shifted on the bed to get a better look at the TV.
"I heard they had a show that's got all gay men, and they have sex with each other all the time," Draco sounded awed. "With nudity and everything. It's not porn, it's a real tv show."
"Okay, Malfoy,"Ron snorted. "Now you're making things up."
TBC.