Title- Doubts
Author- Burlesque
E-mail - burlesq@hotmail.com
Category- Slash, Angst, J/D established relationship
Archive Area 52, Comfort Zone
Season- 1
Spoilers – Hathor, My previous story, Calm After the Storm
Rating- PG
Content Warning- Little Language
Summary- Just what the title says.
Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
Doubts
By
Burlesque
Jack strolled into the commissary, whistling under his breath. Damn, but he felt good. He hadn't had this kind of spring in his step since…forever, it felt like.
He went through the line, bypassing his normal eggs and bacon and aiming for the cereal, his hand unconsciously rubbing his belly. There wasn't *that* much there and he knew he looked pretty damned good for a forty year old, twice retired colonel but…suddenly it mattered to him how he looked under his fatigues. And there was nothing like cuddling up to a scrawny archaeologist to make a man realize just how un-scrawny he was.
Snagging a banana to go with the cereal and juice, he sat down at a table. The room was starting to fill up as the graveyard shift people started to get off and the day shift began to trickle in.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw a group of women sit down, scientists from their civilian dress. That was one thing he had to get used to, all the civilians running around. Oh, every base that he'd ever been assigned to had the civilian workers, but this one was unique in the fact that they weren't just secretaries but scientists. Some of them were working with Carter on her dialing program. And a few of them were starting to work with Daniel. The kid was swamped. More than once in recent weeks Jack had had to nearly drag him out of his office in the wee hours of the morning just to be sure that the sleep he got was more than him hunched over a desk drooling on the papers when his exhaustion got the better of him and he practically fell asleep where he sat.
He really needed to sit Daniel down and explain some things to him. Unless Hammond uttered the phrase ASAP…there was no need for him to work himself half to death translating things today that no one would need until next week. The kid needed to learn to pace himself or he'd burn out.
"I need another day off," one of the women said, her voice carrying over the normal chattering of the room.
"You had three days. How much more time off do you want?"
"You try relocating your kid and see how easy of a weekend you'll have."
"Oh, that's right. Tommy went off to college this weekend didn't he?"
"Yes. I'd forgotten how tiny dorm rooms are. I don't know *how* we got all his stuff in there, but we did."
"Oh, that takes me back. Tiny rooms, fun roommates, towels on the door knobs," she said, her voice full of hidden meaning.
"Towels on the door knob?"
"Come on, didn't you do that at college? The immortal 'we want privacy' signal."
"Tommy won't do that."
"Oh please. Someone who looks like your kid? He'll be prime date material."
"This is my son we're talking about here."
"Wake up and smell the coffee. Your son is like…didn't we sit in these very same chairs and drool over the dishy Doctor Jackson just last week?" Jack hid a satisfied smile. Those ladies could drool all they want, Danny was his.
"Well, yeah."
"It's the same thing. Both of them are too gorgeous for their own good."
His appetite suddenly gone, and his satisfied feeling fading into cold dread, Jack got up from the table, leaving the remains of his meal behind. He felt a heavy coldness settle in the pit of his stomach. What the hell was he doing? Shacking up with some kid. Maybe it was middle age crisis? Some men bought sports cars and had flings with their secretaries, he seduced a kid. Since when had he let his johnson do the thinking?
Daniel has obviously been vulnerable, still traumatized after his run in with Hathor. He'd been vulnerable and Jack had taken advantage of that vulnerability. He'd trusted Jack and Jack had taken advantage of that trust. Hell, he was no better than Hathor.
Hearing Daniel's voice carrying down the hall, Jack ducked into a cross corridor. He stood there as Carter and Daniel walked by, both talking animatedly. He couldn't face him right now. The base was big; he'd just…take advantage of that bigness for a while.
/\/\/\/\/\
Daniel peeked through the darkened window to Jack's office and frowned. It had never been this hard to track down Jack before. In fact, before today by this time in the afternoon, Daniel was usually wishing Jack would bugger off and leave him alone.
Ever since…*that* night, they'd developed a sort of a routine. Daniel would leave Jack's house early in the morning or vice versa and they'd meet up for breakfast at the base. Then Jack would disappear for a few hours, doing paperwork most likely, and then they'd meet up again for lunch.
Jack hadn't shown for breakfast this morning. Daniel really hoped it wasn't because he'd had Sam with him. He knew they had to be discrete. Which was one reason they were careful to maintain their distance on the base and even off it. But surely Jack didn't see Sam as a danger? He hadn't really broached the subject with her but she didn't seem the prejudiced type.
He wracked his brain, trying to figure out where Jack would hang out if he wasn't in his office, Daniel's office or the control room. The fastest way to track him down would be to ask the security guards to find him on camera…of course that wasn't the most discrete way.
Two airmen walked by in their sweats and t-shirts. The gym. When Jack was stressed he liked to take his frustrations out on a punching bag. Daniel hurried down the hall hoping that his intuition was right.
/\/\/\/\/\
Jack punched the heavy bag, perversely enjoying the shock that ran up his arm with each blow. Breathing heavily and grunting slightly counted each punch, hoping that the slap of vinyl on vinyl would drown out the echoing words of the gossiping women. He should be shot, taking advantage of Daniel like he had. And what they'd been doing for the last several weeks? Sheer lunacy. It wasn't really his career or reputation he was worried about, he'd retired once, he'd do it again. But Daniel, if their relationship got out Daniel would be finished here. Hammond barely tolerated the kid's presence and Jack had a bad feeling that if he had a good enough reason, Daniel would be lucky to be allowed to stay at the SGC and work on world.
It had to end. That was the plain and simple answer. He had to end this before someone found out and Daniel got in trouble.
His decision made, he delivered one last punch to the bag, catching it in gloved hands as it swung back at him.
"Jack?"
He turned to see his friend and lover standing in the doorway. "Daniel." He tried to inject as much coldness into his voice as possible.
"We…aah I missed you at breakfast," Daniel said, walking into the room.
"Yeah, well. Stuff happens. Get used to it," Jack said, using his teeth to pull the Velcro free on the glove.
"Ok. Sure." Daniel frowned and walked closer. He reached out and pulled the glove off Jack's hand and reached to unfasten the other one.
Jack pulled his hands free and yanked the glove off, tossing it in the corner. "Did you need something?"
"Jack. What the hell's going on?" He asked frowning.
"Nothing is going on," Jack spat.
"If nothing's going on they why are you in such a pissy mood?" Daniel demanded, raising his voice.
"Pissy? You haven't seen pissy." He started to walk past Daniel but stopped when the man grabbed his arm.
"Was it something I said?" Daniel demanded.
"What?"
"If you're mad at me, tell me what I did so I can fix it."
"What you can do is get over it. It was fun while it lasted but it's over."
"It's over? Where the hell did this come from? I thought we…had something." Daniel demanded.
"Oh grow up Daniel. It was sex. S…E…X. A roll in the hay, a tumble in the sheets, stress relief. It *was* sex and now it's over." Jack pulled his arm from Daniel's grasp and stalked from the room.
/\/\/\/\/\
Sam walked down the ramp, hearing the wormhole snap shut behind her. She handed her rifle off to the Sargent, frowning as she watched two members of her team silently stalk from the room. She followed them down the hall and shook her head as they parted at the first junction, the colonel headed up to the general's office while Daniel kept going down the hall. They'd been like this for the whole mission, giving each other the silent treatment. "Teal'c?" She asked the man walking beside her.
"I shall fulfill my portion of the plan," he said quietly.
"I'll see you there," she said, giving him a small smile. She watched him enter the control room then she turned and started off after Daniel.
She caught up with him in the infirmary. He was seated on one of the beds fidgeting as he waited for one of the nurses to come and draw the usual post-mission samples. "Hey," she said, standing beside him.
"Hey."
"Umm…We don't debrief until tomorrow. I was wondering if you'd like to go grab a bite of dinner?" She offered.
Daniel shook his head. "Sam. I don't know. There's a lot of things for me to do around here."
"Come on, Daniel. Please." She put on her best cajoling voice. "I'm just not in the mood to eat alone tonight."
With a sigh, he nodded. "Ok. But I'm not promising to be good company."
Sam smiled. "That's ok. I'll meet you topside in an hour."
/\/\/\/\/\
Jack sighed and started to drum his fingers on the table as he watched the waitress deliver Teal'c's third piece of pie. "You know, Teal'c. They do have pie in the commissary," he said not bothering to hide his irritation.
"Indeed they do, O'Neill. However they do not have this pie."
"Teal'c…"
"Fancy running into the two of you here." Jack turned to see Sam walking up with a very uncomfortable looking Daniel trailing behind her.
"Captain Carter." Teal'c set down his fork "I am happy you have finally arrived."
"Sorry, Teal'c. There was a wreck on the highway," she apologized, reaching back to grab Daniel's hand and pull him forward.
"Sam," Daniel protested.
"Carter? What's going on?" Jack asked, standing up.
"Daniel. Sit. And with all due respect, you too, sir," she ordered, taking a seat at the table.
"I'll sit when I want to…*captain*," Jack said.
"You will sit now, O'Neill."
Casting a quick glance at their fellow patrons and deciding that discretion was the better part of valor, Jack sat. "Why do I feel like I'm in a bad movie?"
Sam looked at Teal'c who nodded back at her. "Colonel, I mean this with all due respect but…whatever is going on between the two of you," she waved her hand between him and Daniel. "Could you guys work it out before I have to shoot you."
Jack raised his eyebrows "Excuse me?"
"The two of you have been avoiding each other all week and frankly Teal'c and I are sick of it," she said.
"Now just a minute…"
"He's the one who told me…"
"Enough!" Teal'c cut off their protests. "You will resolve this difference or Captain Carter and I are prepared to seek General Hammond's guidance."
Sam reached over and pulled the car keys out of Jack's jacket pocket. "Hey!" he protested.
"I know the owner, sir. He's agreed not to give these back to you until the two of you are talking." She got up. "Teal'c? Would you like a ride back to the mountain?"
He gained his feet. "I would indeed, Captain Carter." He walked around the table and bent over to speak quietly to Jack. "O'Neill…I am sixty-five of your years older than my wife. In matters of the heart, age matters not."
Jack watched the pair of them leave, then turned to face Daniel. The man was sitting next to him, his eyes fixated on his intertwined fingers. "Daniel…"
"I'll talk to the general in the morning, see if I can transfer somewhere," he said quietly.
"What?"
"Jack, Sam's right. This…tension is ruining the team. I think it'll be easier if I go." He got up to leave. "I'll just walk home."
"No." Jack shot out his hand grabbing Daniel. "Sit. Please." His expression wary, Daniel retook his seat. They sat there in silence for a few moments. Daniel got bored and slid Teal'c's abandoned piece of pie in front of him and proceeded to mangle it with a fork. "Daniel. Do you mind?" Jack finally said after the pie was mush.
"Do I mind?" he asked indignantly. "*I* didn't start this. *I* didn't tell me to bugger off. *I* have been trying to be adult about this," he snarled, shooting Jack an angry look. "You're the one who started the silent treatment."
"Daniel…"
"No. You're the one who said you had no problem with it. You're the one who kissed me first for crying out loud," he whispered harshly.
"You're right. I was an asshole," Jack said.
"No. You're going to listen to me for once….what?"
"I said, I'm sorry. I…was wrong."
"What happened?" Daniel asked.
"What?"
"Look Jack, I'm no idiot. I've caught hell about who I am enough times to recognize someone who's being pressured. Did Hammond start to suspect?" He asked seriously.
"What?"
Daniel shook his head and smiled grimly. "I've seen it a dozen times before. And I know the all sacred 'don't ask don't tell' isn't worth a plug nickel. If you wanted to break up with me and crawl back into your closet, all you had to do was say so." He dropped the fork. "I'm gonna go get a cab."
He got up and walked from the restaurant, leaving Jack sitting alone. "Damnit," Jack cursed under his breath. He pushed his chair back from the table and strode to the cash register. Pulling out his credit card he paid his bill and retrieved his keys from the manager. Hurrying outside he was relieved to discover that the cab service hadn't come yet. "Daniel," he said, walking over to the man. "We need to talk."
"I thought we already did."
"You did. I…Look…I…I don't want you making a mistake," he rushed out.
"Mistake? My mistake was thinking that you could be adult about all this, not sulk like some school kid," Daniel sneered.
"Damn it, Daniel. Can't you see that it's for the best?"
"What? You treating me like some one night stand?"
"No. You have your whole life ahead of you. You deserve better than some washed up old man."
"Where the hell did this come from?"
"Jesus Christ, Daniel. You're a kid. You don't need to be wasting your time with someone who's old enough to be your father."
Daniel stared at him then laughed out loud. "My father. Then you had to be one precocious kid because I'm less than 10 years younger than you." Jack raised his eyebrows. "Is that what this is all about? You think I'm some impressionable kid? Let me tell you something Colonel Jack O'Neill…I've been in more countries than you have, I could speak ten languages by the time I was in grade school and I'm willing to bet my passport is thicker than yours. I am no sheltered hot house flower. And if you think you pressured me into doing something I didn't want to do then you have a mighty fine impression of yourself because I've definitely had better." He turned angrily and stalked away.
Jack hurried after him. "Daniel. I…"
Daniel sighed and slumped. "Jack. I'm an adult. I haven't been a virgin…for a long time. And I know what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if you're forty or eighty. You're the person I want to be with. And if you can't accept that…"
"No. I do…I…I didn't ever want you to regret this. I…Daniel, I care for you too much to ever hurt you," Jack admitted.
"Then why?"
"I was afraid I'd pushed you into this and…I'd rather not spend time with you and have you be happy than have you be with someone you hate."
Daniel stepped forward and took Jack's hand. "You're who I want to be with," he said sincerely. "And I know that we have to be careful and that no one can ever find out and I'm fine with that…as long as we can be together."
Jack smiled and squeezed Daniel's hand. "You aah…got any plans for tonight?"
"Well…I never did get dinner…"
"Why don't we head back to my place and see what we can do about that," Jack suggested.
"Ok," Daniel agreed. "But don't think that feeding me gets you off the hook. I'm still mad at you."
"Well maybe we can come up with some ways for me to make it up to you," Jack said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Surely you've learned a few things in your extensive world wide travels."
"Oh I think I can come up with something," Daniel said, following him to his truck. "You don't happen to be double jointed?"
~Fin~