Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - Gundam Edition!!!
This is exactly what you get when you mix a lack of sleep, a terribly high amount of cream soda, a VERY messed up mind, a week of Spring Break, and just a whole bunch of HOPELESS television imitations all together with one really crazy person who loves to impersonate other people... Oh, by the way, did I mention that this is littered with stupidity, unnecessary remarks, and pathetic attempts at humor, added to by self-insertion... This is supposed to be funny. Keyword: supposed.
Disclaimer: CTV's presentation of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" belongs to CTV. (Duh...) "Let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire!!" belongs to Regis Filman, and Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu... ya-da ya- da ya-da...
I also do not own the following things: The Simpsons characters, The Planet of The Apes Movie, Futurama, the electric chair, the statue of liberty, the IRS' demand list, the funny commercial voice, the party, Bender's lines, Dilandau and his flame thrower, Nataku's head, the water that's 90 proof, Dorothy's fencing foil, Lady Une's revolver, the insults that are meant just for fun and not to really insult anyone, the crickets, the Romefeller Foundation commercial, the phony one million dollar check, and anything else that seems out of place in this fic.
Other things I have to say to keep me out of legal trouble: No characters, buildings, weapons/shields, live or inanimate objects were harmed during the production of this show. Thankyou.
Now, on to the story.
::Story begins here::
::begin part one::
Announcer Guy: Now, for CTV's presentation of "Who Wants to Be (Kill) a Millionaire, Gundam Edition"
brought to you live from the New Edwards Base by *funny commercial voice* THE ROMEFELLER FOUNDATION... Keeping old traditions new... *end commercial voice*
::commercial break::
::suspense-filled intro music::
::flashy lights::
::audience applause::
Host (Cat): Hi, I'm your host, Cat, and you're watching "Who Wants to KILL - ...er... *sweatdrop* *cough*
...uh... BE a Millionaire on CTV!!
::more audience applause::
Cat: Phew, close one... Anywayz... This is a special GUNDAM Edition broadcast live from the New Edwards
Base!!
::applause, whistling, yelling::
::a paper airplane flies out of nowhere and hits Cat on the head::
Cat: *muttering under breath* Stupid people... *normal voice* Now, this IS a military installation, so may I
remind you that ANY sudden move from the audience, this includes taking off your shirt and swinging
it around like a stupid BABOON (TUBEROV!!), will cause a number of armed soldiers to barge into this
room and start firing, therefore KILLING, anything alive and moving in this vacinity...
::eerie silence::
Cat: Now, are all are contestants here?
::more eeire silence::
Cat: WELL???
::a sudden explosion shakes the building::
::soldiers begin scattering around the base::
::gunshots are heard and lasers are fired::
Random Soldeir #1: *jumping up and down waving arms around* Enemy attack!!! ENEMY ATTACK!!!!!
Random Soldier #2: We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!
Random Soldier #3: Help!!! It's the enemy!!!!!!!!!!!
::Mr. Burn pops out of nowhere in particular::
Mr. Burns: Release the hounds!!!
::people are yelling and running around like chickens without heads::
Cat: Now, didn't I ask for this NOT to be allowed to happen??? We're on live, ya know!!!
::commotion suddenly dies down::
::eerie silence; crickets can be heard in background::
::Heero walks in::
Heero: Uh... Sorry I'm late... Hit traffic over Nairobi... and I sorta got my landing gear tied up and... I uh...
MAYBE pushed the wrong button and bombed that building over there... The WHOLE base came at
me after that, and... well... that delayed me even longer... so... Sorry I'm late...
::audience gasps::
::other contestants gasp::
Heero: What?
Quarte: *staring* No... you didn't...
Wufei: *buts in* Which building did you blow up???
Heero: Uh.. That one beside the hangar... The one with the white roof and blue drapery over the windows...
Why?
::contestants & audience & Cat gasps::
::Mr. Burns has a heart attack::
::med teams rush in and take Burns out::
::Dr. Nick walks in::
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!!!
Audience: Hi Dr. Nick!!!
Dr. Nick: *points to Mr. Burns* Don't worry folks! He's going to be okay.
::audience sighs::
::Simpson characters disappear::
::everyone goes back to death-glaring Heero::
Heero: Uh... that's not good, is it?
Duo: Dude, you are SOOO busted now, man!!!
Wufei: You %?!#$@-&*$#!% #%??@$&!# IDIOT!!! Do you know what you just did??? Huh???
Quatre: Calm down, Wufei...
Trowa: Shut up, Quatre.
Quatre: Sorry...
Cat: HEERO! YOU just blew up, meaning you KILLED, ALL the Alliance Pacifists at a conference AGAIN!!!
::Treize leans back in his chair, lightly tapping his fingertips together::
Treize: E-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-t...
::everyone turns and death-glares Treize::
Treize: Uh.. eh hehehe.. I mean... HOW AWFUL!!! Heero, how could you???
Heero: OH DEAR GOD!!! *goes all dramatic* I FAILED! I TOTALLY FAILED!!! *banging on the ground*
Damn you! DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
::a bunch of apes dressed in doctors' coats walks by::
Ape #1: Let's get out of here, Dr. Zaeus.
Ape #2: Good idea...
Ape #3: That human seriously needs some help...
::statue of liberty pops out of nowhere::
Heero: NO!!!!! This IS the Earth!!! Damn you all!!!!
::Heero gets cut off::
Cat: O-k-k-k-a-a-a-a-y-y-y-y... THAT was strange...
::Cat suddennly changes her mood::
Cat: *smiling* Ah, well, I suppose that was part of the story plot... Where were those pacifists getting us
anyway? *muttering* Stupid Alliance.. ruined the WHOLE Gundam plot...
Lady Une: That's more like it...
Cat: Well then... Now -
::numerous people start coughing::
::coughing dies away::
Cat: Now, let's meet -
::numerous people start coughing, sneezing, and dropping pencils (?) on the floor::
Cat: *death-glaring at everybody*
::muffled giggling::
Cat: Well, if that's how it's going to be, WHY DON'T WE JUST LET THE CONTESTANTS INTRODUCE
THEMSELVES???
::audience applause::
Cat: *smiling triumphantly*
::spooky metal music::
::spot light goes on::
::James Bond Music::
Heero: The name's Yuy. Heero Yuy.
::audience goes silent; crickets chirping in background::
Heero: Um... Heero Yuy, L1 Colony. I'm the homicidal, suicidal, psycopathic maniac obsessed with killing
Relena.
Relena: *clapping and cheering* Yay! Go Heero!!!
::everyone death-glares Relena::
::Relena shuts up and turns bright red::
::spot light change::
Duo: Duo Maxwell, L2 Colony. I kick ass for a livin' and I'm everyone's favorite pilot!
::audience cheers::
::spot light change::
Trowa: ...
Cat: Trowa?
Trowa: ...
Cat: TROWA???
Trowa: Wha? Oh, ooops.. Trowa Barton, L3 Colony. I work for minimum wage in a circus with lions and my
psycotic sister throws knives at me...
Catherine Bloom: TROWA!!!
::spot light change::
Quatre: Quatre Rebarba Winner, L4 Colony. I'm the shy, lovable guy who is really, REALLY rich...
FEMALES of the audience: *cheering* You go, Quatre! *whistling*
Quatre: *grinning*
::spot light change::
::James Bond Music::
Wufei: The name's Chang. Wufei Chang.
::total silence; not even the crickets chirp::
Wufei: Hmph! Wufei, L5 Colony. And Treize, watch out, cause I'm still gonna get you. Just wait...
Lady Une: *butting in* Excuse me, but the last time I checked my job description, it said, as a Colonel, it is
my duty to kick your ass if you're out to get Treize. What's with that anyway? Are you gay???
Wufei: NO!!!
Cat: We all know you are, Wuffie.. So shut up and let everyone introduce themselves.
::audience cheers::
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!
::spot light change::
Relena: Relena Peacecraft, Sanc Kingdom. I stalk Heero Yuy, and drive EVERYONE crazy.
Heero: Damn right about that...
::Bender pops out of the audience::
Bender: Ahhhhhhh!!!! It's a monster!!! Kill it! KILL IT!!!
::Bender runs out of building::
Cat: O-k-k-k-a-a-a-a-y-y-y...
Relena: Oh, and Heero, I just want ot thank you again for last night...
Audience: Oo.oO _
Duo: WHOA!!! TOO much information!!!
Cat: *cough* *gag* *sputer* *cough* *cough* OH, THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!! Eeeeewww..
Heero: Shit.
::spot light change::
Treize: Treize Khushrenada, somewhere in Germany. I'm the Leader of OZ and the World Nation, and I'm a
fav amongst the ladies... *winks at Une*
Une: *stiffles a giggle*
Audience: Oo.oO :P
::spot light change::
Lady Une: Lady Une, also somewhere in Germany. No one knows my real name, but I work for OZ as Treize's
right hand aide, have SCARY split personalities, and as long as I can kill SOMETHING during
this show, I'll be a happy schizophrinic...
Cat: R-i-i-i-g-h-t-t... And you're supposed to be my idol?...
::spot light change::
Zechs: Zechs Merquise, Sanc Kingdom. I used to work for OZ, but now I'm with White Fang. My sister is a
dorky princess and I like trying to destroy the Earth. I'm a platinum blonde and people can't help but
love me... *beaming*
Audience: *cheering*
::spot light change::
Dorothy: I'm Dorothy Catalonia, no one knows where I came from or WHAT I am, but I'm the FEMALE
homicidal maniac with independently minded eyebrows. I like to start wars and kill people, and I'm
even worse of a schizophrinic than Lady Une...
Cat: *rolling eyes* I think we already knew that...
::spot light change::
::Dilandau barges in with a flame thrower::
Dilandau: Moorrreeeeooo!!! The name's Dilandau and - ...uh... am I in the right building?
Everyone: NO!!!
Cat: Sorry, Dillie, the building for pyomania help is the one beside the Virgo MS factory.
Dilandau: Could you tell me how to get there?
Cat: Sure. You exit though the back, take a left, then a right, then another left, then right, then turn down the
alley with the green neon sign, take a left, turn right, then left again, right, right, left, straight, then turn
left at the fork in the road, then left at the Leo testing facility, then right, right, right, left, straight ahead,
then turn left at the five mile sign, then right again, down the cliff, across the desert full of bolders, then
straight, left, straight, then right, left, right, right, straight over the bridge and it's the building to your
left with the crimson-scarlet brick make-up on the front and sides.
Dilandau: *puzzled look* Huh???
Producer backstage: Uh... It's the red building down the street...
Dilandau: Oh... *turns and runs out* Morreo! MORREO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::perplexed audience::
::roaring laughter::
Cat: Okay, I think we're done! Now, maybe we can GET ON WITH THE GAME???
::audience applausse::
::commercial break::
::end part one::
***You like? If so, READ ON! ^_^ Don't forget to R&R***
This is exactly what you get when you mix a lack of sleep, a terribly high amount of cream soda, a VERY messed up mind, a week of Spring Break, and just a whole bunch of HOPELESS television imitations all together with one really crazy person who loves to impersonate other people... Oh, by the way, did I mention that this is littered with stupidity, unnecessary remarks, and pathetic attempts at humor, added to by self-insertion... This is supposed to be funny. Keyword: supposed.
Disclaimer: CTV's presentation of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" belongs to CTV. (Duh...) "Let's play Who Wants to be a Millionaire!!" belongs to Regis Filman, and Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, Sotsu... ya-da ya- da ya-da...
I also do not own the following things: The Simpsons characters, The Planet of The Apes Movie, Futurama, the electric chair, the statue of liberty, the IRS' demand list, the funny commercial voice, the party, Bender's lines, Dilandau and his flame thrower, Nataku's head, the water that's 90 proof, Dorothy's fencing foil, Lady Une's revolver, the insults that are meant just for fun and not to really insult anyone, the crickets, the Romefeller Foundation commercial, the phony one million dollar check, and anything else that seems out of place in this fic.
Other things I have to say to keep me out of legal trouble: No characters, buildings, weapons/shields, live or inanimate objects were harmed during the production of this show. Thankyou.
Now, on to the story.
::Story begins here::
::begin part one::
Announcer Guy: Now, for CTV's presentation of "Who Wants to Be (Kill) a Millionaire, Gundam Edition"
brought to you live from the New Edwards Base by *funny commercial voice* THE ROMEFELLER FOUNDATION... Keeping old traditions new... *end commercial voice*
::commercial break::
::suspense-filled intro music::
::flashy lights::
::audience applause::
Host (Cat): Hi, I'm your host, Cat, and you're watching "Who Wants to KILL - ...er... *sweatdrop* *cough*
...uh... BE a Millionaire on CTV!!
::more audience applause::
Cat: Phew, close one... Anywayz... This is a special GUNDAM Edition broadcast live from the New Edwards
Base!!
::applause, whistling, yelling::
::a paper airplane flies out of nowhere and hits Cat on the head::
Cat: *muttering under breath* Stupid people... *normal voice* Now, this IS a military installation, so may I
remind you that ANY sudden move from the audience, this includes taking off your shirt and swinging
it around like a stupid BABOON (TUBEROV!!), will cause a number of armed soldiers to barge into this
room and start firing, therefore KILLING, anything alive and moving in this vacinity...
::eerie silence::
Cat: Now, are all are contestants here?
::more eeire silence::
Cat: WELL???
::a sudden explosion shakes the building::
::soldiers begin scattering around the base::
::gunshots are heard and lasers are fired::
Random Soldeir #1: *jumping up and down waving arms around* Enemy attack!!! ENEMY ATTACK!!!!!
Random Soldier #2: We're all gonna die!!!!!!!!
Random Soldier #3: Help!!! It's the enemy!!!!!!!!!!!
::Mr. Burn pops out of nowhere in particular::
Mr. Burns: Release the hounds!!!
::people are yelling and running around like chickens without heads::
Cat: Now, didn't I ask for this NOT to be allowed to happen??? We're on live, ya know!!!
::commotion suddenly dies down::
::eerie silence; crickets can be heard in background::
::Heero walks in::
Heero: Uh... Sorry I'm late... Hit traffic over Nairobi... and I sorta got my landing gear tied up and... I uh...
MAYBE pushed the wrong button and bombed that building over there... The WHOLE base came at
me after that, and... well... that delayed me even longer... so... Sorry I'm late...
::audience gasps::
::other contestants gasp::
Heero: What?
Quarte: *staring* No... you didn't...
Wufei: *buts in* Which building did you blow up???
Heero: Uh.. That one beside the hangar... The one with the white roof and blue drapery over the windows...
Why?
::contestants & audience & Cat gasps::
::Mr. Burns has a heart attack::
::med teams rush in and take Burns out::
::Dr. Nick walks in::
Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!!!
Audience: Hi Dr. Nick!!!
Dr. Nick: *points to Mr. Burns* Don't worry folks! He's going to be okay.
::audience sighs::
::Simpson characters disappear::
::everyone goes back to death-glaring Heero::
Heero: Uh... that's not good, is it?
Duo: Dude, you are SOOO busted now, man!!!
Wufei: You %?!#$@-&*$#!% #%??@$&!# IDIOT!!! Do you know what you just did??? Huh???
Quatre: Calm down, Wufei...
Trowa: Shut up, Quatre.
Quatre: Sorry...
Cat: HEERO! YOU just blew up, meaning you KILLED, ALL the Alliance Pacifists at a conference AGAIN!!!
::Treize leans back in his chair, lightly tapping his fingertips together::
Treize: E-x-c-e-l-l-e-n-t...
::everyone turns and death-glares Treize::
Treize: Uh.. eh hehehe.. I mean... HOW AWFUL!!! Heero, how could you???
Heero: OH DEAR GOD!!! *goes all dramatic* I FAILED! I TOTALLY FAILED!!! *banging on the ground*
Damn you! DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
::a bunch of apes dressed in doctors' coats walks by::
Ape #1: Let's get out of here, Dr. Zaeus.
Ape #2: Good idea...
Ape #3: That human seriously needs some help...
::statue of liberty pops out of nowhere::
Heero: NO!!!!! This IS the Earth!!! Damn you all!!!!
::Heero gets cut off::
Cat: O-k-k-k-a-a-a-a-y-y-y-y... THAT was strange...
::Cat suddennly changes her mood::
Cat: *smiling* Ah, well, I suppose that was part of the story plot... Where were those pacifists getting us
anyway? *muttering* Stupid Alliance.. ruined the WHOLE Gundam plot...
Lady Une: That's more like it...
Cat: Well then... Now -
::numerous people start coughing::
::coughing dies away::
Cat: Now, let's meet -
::numerous people start coughing, sneezing, and dropping pencils (?) on the floor::
Cat: *death-glaring at everybody*
::muffled giggling::
Cat: Well, if that's how it's going to be, WHY DON'T WE JUST LET THE CONTESTANTS INTRODUCE
THEMSELVES???
::audience applause::
Cat: *smiling triumphantly*
::spooky metal music::
::spot light goes on::
::James Bond Music::
Heero: The name's Yuy. Heero Yuy.
::audience goes silent; crickets chirping in background::
Heero: Um... Heero Yuy, L1 Colony. I'm the homicidal, suicidal, psycopathic maniac obsessed with killing
Relena.
Relena: *clapping and cheering* Yay! Go Heero!!!
::everyone death-glares Relena::
::Relena shuts up and turns bright red::
::spot light change::
Duo: Duo Maxwell, L2 Colony. I kick ass for a livin' and I'm everyone's favorite pilot!
::audience cheers::
::spot light change::
Trowa: ...
Cat: Trowa?
Trowa: ...
Cat: TROWA???
Trowa: Wha? Oh, ooops.. Trowa Barton, L3 Colony. I work for minimum wage in a circus with lions and my
psycotic sister throws knives at me...
Catherine Bloom: TROWA!!!
::spot light change::
Quatre: Quatre Rebarba Winner, L4 Colony. I'm the shy, lovable guy who is really, REALLY rich...
FEMALES of the audience: *cheering* You go, Quatre! *whistling*
Quatre: *grinning*
::spot light change::
::James Bond Music::
Wufei: The name's Chang. Wufei Chang.
::total silence; not even the crickets chirp::
Wufei: Hmph! Wufei, L5 Colony. And Treize, watch out, cause I'm still gonna get you. Just wait...
Lady Une: *butting in* Excuse me, but the last time I checked my job description, it said, as a Colonel, it is
my duty to kick your ass if you're out to get Treize. What's with that anyway? Are you gay???
Wufei: NO!!!
Cat: We all know you are, Wuffie.. So shut up and let everyone introduce themselves.
::audience cheers::
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!
::spot light change::
Relena: Relena Peacecraft, Sanc Kingdom. I stalk Heero Yuy, and drive EVERYONE crazy.
Heero: Damn right about that...
::Bender pops out of the audience::
Bender: Ahhhhhhh!!!! It's a monster!!! Kill it! KILL IT!!!
::Bender runs out of building::
Cat: O-k-k-k-a-a-a-a-y-y-y...
Relena: Oh, and Heero, I just want ot thank you again for last night...
Audience: Oo.oO _
Duo: WHOA!!! TOO much information!!!
Cat: *cough* *gag* *sputer* *cough* *cough* OH, THAT IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!! Eeeeewww..
Heero: Shit.
::spot light change::
Treize: Treize Khushrenada, somewhere in Germany. I'm the Leader of OZ and the World Nation, and I'm a
fav amongst the ladies... *winks at Une*
Une: *stiffles a giggle*
Audience: Oo.oO :P
::spot light change::
Lady Une: Lady Une, also somewhere in Germany. No one knows my real name, but I work for OZ as Treize's
right hand aide, have SCARY split personalities, and as long as I can kill SOMETHING during
this show, I'll be a happy schizophrinic...
Cat: R-i-i-i-g-h-t-t... And you're supposed to be my idol?...
::spot light change::
Zechs: Zechs Merquise, Sanc Kingdom. I used to work for OZ, but now I'm with White Fang. My sister is a
dorky princess and I like trying to destroy the Earth. I'm a platinum blonde and people can't help but
love me... *beaming*
Audience: *cheering*
::spot light change::
Dorothy: I'm Dorothy Catalonia, no one knows where I came from or WHAT I am, but I'm the FEMALE
homicidal maniac with independently minded eyebrows. I like to start wars and kill people, and I'm
even worse of a schizophrinic than Lady Une...
Cat: *rolling eyes* I think we already knew that...
::spot light change::
::Dilandau barges in with a flame thrower::
Dilandau: Moorrreeeeooo!!! The name's Dilandau and - ...uh... am I in the right building?
Everyone: NO!!!
Cat: Sorry, Dillie, the building for pyomania help is the one beside the Virgo MS factory.
Dilandau: Could you tell me how to get there?
Cat: Sure. You exit though the back, take a left, then a right, then another left, then right, then turn down the
alley with the green neon sign, take a left, turn right, then left again, right, right, left, straight, then turn
left at the fork in the road, then left at the Leo testing facility, then right, right, right, left, straight ahead,
then turn left at the five mile sign, then right again, down the cliff, across the desert full of bolders, then
straight, left, straight, then right, left, right, right, straight over the bridge and it's the building to your
left with the crimson-scarlet brick make-up on the front and sides.
Dilandau: *puzzled look* Huh???
Producer backstage: Uh... It's the red building down the street...
Dilandau: Oh... *turns and runs out* Morreo! MORREO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
::perplexed audience::
::roaring laughter::
Cat: Okay, I think we're done! Now, maybe we can GET ON WITH THE GAME???
::audience applausse::
::commercial break::
::end part one::
***You like? If so, READ ON! ^_^ Don't forget to R&R***