::begin part two::
::end commercial break::
::metal music::
::audience applause::
Cat: We're back, and it's time for our first fastest finger question! You know the rules. First one to put these
in order correctly gets into the hotseat!
::cheering::
Cat: Can we have silence in the audience please?
::spooky metal music::
Cat: Put these mobile suits in order from the crappiest to the most well- performanced. A. Aries, B. Taurus,
C. Virgo, and finally D. Leo.
::music while contestants answer question::
Cat: Okay! Time's up. And the answers in the correct order are:
::switch to answer screen::
Cat: D. Leo, A. Aries, B. Taurus, and C. Virgo. And the person who got it in the fastest time is...
::switch screen to contestants' names::
Cat: WUFEI CHANG (???)
Wufei: *jumping out of his seat* Who has the most integrity now???
::one random person is clapping::
::everyone death-glares him::
::person stops clapping::
Cat: Well, Wufei, it looks like you made it into the hot seat. Let's begin, shall we? You know the rules; the
three lifelines... ya-da, ya-da, ya-da... Now, onto the game.
::heart beat music::
::Wufei takes a sip of water::
::Wufei spits it out because it's 90 proof::
::Wufei yells at Cat for trying to get him drunk::
::Cat ignores him completely::
::audience laughs::
Cat: For 100 dollars, Wufei, What is your name? Is it A. Wufei, B. Woofie, C. Wufag, or D. Wuffie?
Wufei: *throwing hands into the air* ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE OUT THAT I'M STUPID???
Cat: *muttering* I don't have to try...
::audience laughs::
Wufei: So that's it! You think I'm stupid, eh??? Well -
Cat: *buts in* That is correct! The answer is A!!
::Wufei starts steaming with anger::
::everyone laughs::
Cat: For 200 dollars, How many fingers am I holding up? A. 4, B. 1, C. 3, or D. 9?
Wufei: Damn. Maybe I shouldn't have had that whiskey...
Duo: Hey, Wu-MAN, can't you "C"? I think you should be able to "C" how easy it is...
Dorothy: Yeah, it's pretty easy to "C"...
Cat: DUO! DOROTHY! Please stop it at once!
Duo & Dorothy: Sorry...
Wufei: Uh... I think it's "C"...
Cat: Final answer?
Wufei: Yeah...
Cat: WOW! You are correct!
::audience applause::
Cat: Next question. For 300 dollars, in the classic nursery rhyme, "The Cat and the Fiddle" what did the spoon run away
with? A. a teacup, B. a spoon, C. a knife, or D. a revolver?
Wufei: Uh.. I'd think it was a revolver, but... That just wouldn't sound right.. It could have been a knife... Gee... Uh... OH!
WAIT! I KNOW! IT WAS THE SPOON!!!
Cat: Final?
Wufei: Yes.
Cat: Oh... I'm so sorry, but you are...
::audience gasps::
::Wufei gasps::
Cat: CORRECT! That's 300 dollars!
::audience sighs::
Wufei: *muttering* ...Stupid Onna...
Cat: Shut up. For 500 dollars, who is the biggest dumbass on the planet? A. Zechs, B. Tuberov, C. George Bush, or
D. some guy named Bob?
Wufei: ...uh... Oh... Argh... Well, I guess I have to ask the audience on this one...
Cat: Okay, audience, it looks like Wuffie here needs some help. On your keypads, vote A, B, C, or D now...
::strange in-describable music::
Cat: I GUESS IT'S UNANIMOUS! BOB is the biggest dumbass on the planet!
Wufei: I have to agree with that completely. D. Bob, final answer.
Cat: CORRECT! Bob is DEFINATELY the biggest dumbass on the planet! *turns to camera* I hope you're listening...
::Joss walks in::
Joss: Damn right about that...
::Bob usually gets mad by this point::
Cat: Anyways... Next question... For 1000 dollars, who was the last person Lady Une killed? A. Septum, B. Darlian,
C. Tuberov, or D. someone else?
Wufei: Hmm... Judging by our progress through the series... I'd say B. Darlian... Everyone else will die later...
::Septum jumps out of audience::
Septum: WHAT??? NO NONONONONONONONONO!!! I'm gonna die???
::Lady Une shoots him in the head::
Lady Une: Sooner than you think...
::audience cheers::
Cat: Well... THAT was unexpected... BUT YOU ARE CORRECT!
Wufei: *jumping up* WOO HOO!!!
Cat: For 2000 dollars, what is the only difference between Duke Dermail and a gorilla?
::Dermail pops out of nowhere::
Dermail: YOUNG LADY! That is THE most insulting remark I have EVER heard!
Treize: ...Hmph... THAT'S a surprise... hehehe...
Zechs: Good one ole' buddy... he hehe...
Dermail: TREIZE!! ZECHS!!
Cat: Shut up jerk. Now, is it A. he only eats Chinese takeout, B. he likes singing opera, C. he looks closer to chimpanzee,
or D. Nothing. There is no difference.
Wufei: *leaning back in chair* That's SOOOO easy. It's D. Final answer.
Cat: CORRECT! Scientists have yet to find ANY evidence to prove that Dermail is anything else BUT a gorilla.
::giggling::
Dermail: I have NEVER heard such -
::Lady Une shoots him in the head::
::audience gasps::
Lady Une: She said shut up, you jerk.
::Duke Dermail utters some curses before dying::
Dorothy: GRANDFATHER!! *turns around* I won't cry, Grandfather... You died dishonorably...
Treize: *jumping up* LADY UNE! DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS???
Lady Une: *shrugging* Yeah... The leader of Romefeller... Who gives a shit? The old man deserves it...
Treize: *rubbing chin* ...I guess you're right... You know, he DID put me into confinement...
Lady Une: I hope you're okay with that, Cat...
Cat: Of course. Thanks Une. Now, for 4000 dollars, which one if these is NOT a nickname for a *cough* certain
teacher? A. "Hitler", B. "PB", C. "Bitcho", or D. "Bigfoot"?
Wufei: Gee, that's a hard one... I'm pretty sure I heard you mention them all before the show...
Cat: *sweatdrop* eh hehehe...
Wufei: I guess I need a 50/50...
Cat: Okay, computer, take away 2 of the wrong answers please.
::two answers disappear off screen::
Cat: Now, is it A. Hitler, or D. Bigfoot?
Wufei: Hmmm....
Zechs: C'mon Wufei, don't "D"-fy your integrity... You're "D" best!
Cat: ZECHS MERQUISE!!!
::lightbulb appears above Wufei's head::
Wufei: The answer is D!!!
Cat: Yes, you are correct.
Wufei: OH YEAH! WHO'S THE BEST?
Zechs: *muttering* How about a little thanks?
::commercial break::
Some guy: Just a reminder, this program is brought to you by *commercial voice* THE ROMEFELLER FOUNDATION...
keeping old traditions new...
::end commercial break::
Cat: WE'RE BACK! DID YA MISS US? And now, Wufei, your 8000 dollar question. Who has the ABSOLUTE WORST
accent on TV EVER? Is it A. Relena, B. Jean Chretien, C. Groundskeeper Willy, or D. some guy named Ismail Zayid?
Wufei: Hmm.. I guess I need to phone a friend...
Heero: Do you HAVE any? hehehe... hehe
::audience laughter::
Wufei: Can it, jackass. I have more friends than you!
Audience: Oo.oO _
Heero: *rolling up sleeves* Oooh.. Dems dirty fightin words...
Cat: Drop it you two. Wufei, who's your "friend" you'd like to call?
Wufei: *ignoring sarcasm* Sally.
Cat: Okay, Wufei. We'll call your "friend" Sally...
Wufei: *can't ignore it anymore* STOP IT!!!
Cat: Maybe your "friend" Sally will make us stop...
Wufei: ARGH!!! Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!
Cat: Hey! Only I'M allowed to say that.
::dialing phone::
::phone rings::
::Sally answers::
Cat: Hello, Sally? Cat here from Who Wants To Kill - er... BE a Millionaire. Your "friend" Wufei seems to need a little
help...
Sally: *also ignoring sarcasm* Okay... Sure...
Cat: Thirty seconds, Wu-Man.
Wufei: *ignoring Cat* Sally, who has the ABSOLUTE WORST accent on TV EVER? Is it A. Relena, B. Jean Chretien,
C. Groundskeeper Willy, or D. some guy named Ismail Zayid?
Sally: I do believe it's B. Jean Chretien... I'm about as sure as I am about launching this new shuttle model...
Wufei: How sure is that?
Sally: Uh... about 21.6%...
Wufei: AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
::Cat starts laughing::
Wufei: Uh... thanks Sally...
Sally: You're very welcome.
::phone connection cut::
::Cat is still laughing::
::Wufei smacks her over the head::
::Cat picks up a newspaper, rolls it up, and smacks Wufei right back::
Cat: NO ONE smacks ME over the head!
::audience laughs at Wufei's misfortune::
Duo: WHOA! Did you hear that, man? I think he really DOES have friends...
Cat: Tell me about it...
Wufei: *TRYING to ignore comment* I'll have to say B.
Cat: SALLY WAS RIGHT!! On the contrary to what everyone might think, Relena actually does NOT have the worst
accent on TV... What a surprize...
::audience clapping::
Cat: For 16000 dollars, Which of these is the most dangerous: A. a dober gun, B. a beam cannon, C. a rampaging mobile
suit, or D. a McDonald's Happy Meal?
Wufei: Shit. I honestly don't know... I've tried them all, and they're ALL are dangerous, I know that for sure... but...
Cat: Do you need some time to think?
Wufei: No.. I guess 8000 dollars is plenty... I suppose that it's enough to get Nataku's head out of the pawn shop... Cat?
Cat: Yeeesssss?
Wufei: I'm going to have to take the money and walk away...
Cat: Sure, no problem... Would you like to take a guess anyway?
Wufei: Yeah, sure.. I'd say B.
Cat: So sorry.. You're lucky to have made your choice. The correct answer is D. a McDonalds Happy Meal.
Audience: Awwww...
::metal music::
Cat: Here's your check for 8000 dollars. Hope you can get your Shenlong's head out of the pawn shop... hehehe... Actually,
you won't be able to... I swaped it for my old telephone.. Nataku's head makes an excellent paperweight... hehehe...
Wufei: YOU DID WHAT???
Cat: Nothing. NOW GET YOUR FILTHY GAY ASS OF THIS STAGE!! Thank you. *pointing* The exit is that way.
::Wufei takes the check and walks out::
::audience applause::
Cat: *sigh* I'm sure glad THAT'S over... *grinning* We'll be right back...
::commercial break::
::end part two::
***Weird, huh? Don't worry, it gets worse. Keep reading!! ^_^ ***
::end commercial break::
::metal music::
::audience applause::
Cat: We're back, and it's time for our first fastest finger question! You know the rules. First one to put these
in order correctly gets into the hotseat!
::cheering::
Cat: Can we have silence in the audience please?
::spooky metal music::
Cat: Put these mobile suits in order from the crappiest to the most well- performanced. A. Aries, B. Taurus,
C. Virgo, and finally D. Leo.
::music while contestants answer question::
Cat: Okay! Time's up. And the answers in the correct order are:
::switch to answer screen::
Cat: D. Leo, A. Aries, B. Taurus, and C. Virgo. And the person who got it in the fastest time is...
::switch screen to contestants' names::
Cat: WUFEI CHANG (???)
Wufei: *jumping out of his seat* Who has the most integrity now???
::one random person is clapping::
::everyone death-glares him::
::person stops clapping::
Cat: Well, Wufei, it looks like you made it into the hot seat. Let's begin, shall we? You know the rules; the
three lifelines... ya-da, ya-da, ya-da... Now, onto the game.
::heart beat music::
::Wufei takes a sip of water::
::Wufei spits it out because it's 90 proof::
::Wufei yells at Cat for trying to get him drunk::
::Cat ignores him completely::
::audience laughs::
Cat: For 100 dollars, Wufei, What is your name? Is it A. Wufei, B. Woofie, C. Wufag, or D. Wuffie?
Wufei: *throwing hands into the air* ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE OUT THAT I'M STUPID???
Cat: *muttering* I don't have to try...
::audience laughs::
Wufei: So that's it! You think I'm stupid, eh??? Well -
Cat: *buts in* That is correct! The answer is A!!
::Wufei starts steaming with anger::
::everyone laughs::
Cat: For 200 dollars, How many fingers am I holding up? A. 4, B. 1, C. 3, or D. 9?
Wufei: Damn. Maybe I shouldn't have had that whiskey...
Duo: Hey, Wu-MAN, can't you "C"? I think you should be able to "C" how easy it is...
Dorothy: Yeah, it's pretty easy to "C"...
Cat: DUO! DOROTHY! Please stop it at once!
Duo & Dorothy: Sorry...
Wufei: Uh... I think it's "C"...
Cat: Final answer?
Wufei: Yeah...
Cat: WOW! You are correct!
::audience applause::
Cat: Next question. For 300 dollars, in the classic nursery rhyme, "The Cat and the Fiddle" what did the spoon run away
with? A. a teacup, B. a spoon, C. a knife, or D. a revolver?
Wufei: Uh.. I'd think it was a revolver, but... That just wouldn't sound right.. It could have been a knife... Gee... Uh... OH!
WAIT! I KNOW! IT WAS THE SPOON!!!
Cat: Final?
Wufei: Yes.
Cat: Oh... I'm so sorry, but you are...
::audience gasps::
::Wufei gasps::
Cat: CORRECT! That's 300 dollars!
::audience sighs::
Wufei: *muttering* ...Stupid Onna...
Cat: Shut up. For 500 dollars, who is the biggest dumbass on the planet? A. Zechs, B. Tuberov, C. George Bush, or
D. some guy named Bob?
Wufei: ...uh... Oh... Argh... Well, I guess I have to ask the audience on this one...
Cat: Okay, audience, it looks like Wuffie here needs some help. On your keypads, vote A, B, C, or D now...
::strange in-describable music::
Cat: I GUESS IT'S UNANIMOUS! BOB is the biggest dumbass on the planet!
Wufei: I have to agree with that completely. D. Bob, final answer.
Cat: CORRECT! Bob is DEFINATELY the biggest dumbass on the planet! *turns to camera* I hope you're listening...
::Joss walks in::
Joss: Damn right about that...
::Bob usually gets mad by this point::
Cat: Anyways... Next question... For 1000 dollars, who was the last person Lady Une killed? A. Septum, B. Darlian,
C. Tuberov, or D. someone else?
Wufei: Hmm... Judging by our progress through the series... I'd say B. Darlian... Everyone else will die later...
::Septum jumps out of audience::
Septum: WHAT??? NO NONONONONONONONONO!!! I'm gonna die???
::Lady Une shoots him in the head::
Lady Une: Sooner than you think...
::audience cheers::
Cat: Well... THAT was unexpected... BUT YOU ARE CORRECT!
Wufei: *jumping up* WOO HOO!!!
Cat: For 2000 dollars, what is the only difference between Duke Dermail and a gorilla?
::Dermail pops out of nowhere::
Dermail: YOUNG LADY! That is THE most insulting remark I have EVER heard!
Treize: ...Hmph... THAT'S a surprise... hehehe...
Zechs: Good one ole' buddy... he hehe...
Dermail: TREIZE!! ZECHS!!
Cat: Shut up jerk. Now, is it A. he only eats Chinese takeout, B. he likes singing opera, C. he looks closer to chimpanzee,
or D. Nothing. There is no difference.
Wufei: *leaning back in chair* That's SOOOO easy. It's D. Final answer.
Cat: CORRECT! Scientists have yet to find ANY evidence to prove that Dermail is anything else BUT a gorilla.
::giggling::
Dermail: I have NEVER heard such -
::Lady Une shoots him in the head::
::audience gasps::
Lady Une: She said shut up, you jerk.
::Duke Dermail utters some curses before dying::
Dorothy: GRANDFATHER!! *turns around* I won't cry, Grandfather... You died dishonorably...
Treize: *jumping up* LADY UNE! DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS???
Lady Une: *shrugging* Yeah... The leader of Romefeller... Who gives a shit? The old man deserves it...
Treize: *rubbing chin* ...I guess you're right... You know, he DID put me into confinement...
Lady Une: I hope you're okay with that, Cat...
Cat: Of course. Thanks Une. Now, for 4000 dollars, which one if these is NOT a nickname for a *cough* certain
teacher? A. "Hitler", B. "PB", C. "Bitcho", or D. "Bigfoot"?
Wufei: Gee, that's a hard one... I'm pretty sure I heard you mention them all before the show...
Cat: *sweatdrop* eh hehehe...
Wufei: I guess I need a 50/50...
Cat: Okay, computer, take away 2 of the wrong answers please.
::two answers disappear off screen::
Cat: Now, is it A. Hitler, or D. Bigfoot?
Wufei: Hmmm....
Zechs: C'mon Wufei, don't "D"-fy your integrity... You're "D" best!
Cat: ZECHS MERQUISE!!!
::lightbulb appears above Wufei's head::
Wufei: The answer is D!!!
Cat: Yes, you are correct.
Wufei: OH YEAH! WHO'S THE BEST?
Zechs: *muttering* How about a little thanks?
::commercial break::
Some guy: Just a reminder, this program is brought to you by *commercial voice* THE ROMEFELLER FOUNDATION...
keeping old traditions new...
::end commercial break::
Cat: WE'RE BACK! DID YA MISS US? And now, Wufei, your 8000 dollar question. Who has the ABSOLUTE WORST
accent on TV EVER? Is it A. Relena, B. Jean Chretien, C. Groundskeeper Willy, or D. some guy named Ismail Zayid?
Wufei: Hmm.. I guess I need to phone a friend...
Heero: Do you HAVE any? hehehe... hehe
::audience laughter::
Wufei: Can it, jackass. I have more friends than you!
Audience: Oo.oO _
Heero: *rolling up sleeves* Oooh.. Dems dirty fightin words...
Cat: Drop it you two. Wufei, who's your "friend" you'd like to call?
Wufei: *ignoring sarcasm* Sally.
Cat: Okay, Wufei. We'll call your "friend" Sally...
Wufei: *can't ignore it anymore* STOP IT!!!
Cat: Maybe your "friend" Sally will make us stop...
Wufei: ARGH!!! Shut up shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!!!
Cat: Hey! Only I'M allowed to say that.
::dialing phone::
::phone rings::
::Sally answers::
Cat: Hello, Sally? Cat here from Who Wants To Kill - er... BE a Millionaire. Your "friend" Wufei seems to need a little
help...
Sally: *also ignoring sarcasm* Okay... Sure...
Cat: Thirty seconds, Wu-Man.
Wufei: *ignoring Cat* Sally, who has the ABSOLUTE WORST accent on TV EVER? Is it A. Relena, B. Jean Chretien,
C. Groundskeeper Willy, or D. some guy named Ismail Zayid?
Sally: I do believe it's B. Jean Chretien... I'm about as sure as I am about launching this new shuttle model...
Wufei: How sure is that?
Sally: Uh... about 21.6%...
Wufei: AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
::Cat starts laughing::
Wufei: Uh... thanks Sally...
Sally: You're very welcome.
::phone connection cut::
::Cat is still laughing::
::Wufei smacks her over the head::
::Cat picks up a newspaper, rolls it up, and smacks Wufei right back::
Cat: NO ONE smacks ME over the head!
::audience laughs at Wufei's misfortune::
Duo: WHOA! Did you hear that, man? I think he really DOES have friends...
Cat: Tell me about it...
Wufei: *TRYING to ignore comment* I'll have to say B.
Cat: SALLY WAS RIGHT!! On the contrary to what everyone might think, Relena actually does NOT have the worst
accent on TV... What a surprize...
::audience clapping::
Cat: For 16000 dollars, Which of these is the most dangerous: A. a dober gun, B. a beam cannon, C. a rampaging mobile
suit, or D. a McDonald's Happy Meal?
Wufei: Shit. I honestly don't know... I've tried them all, and they're ALL are dangerous, I know that for sure... but...
Cat: Do you need some time to think?
Wufei: No.. I guess 8000 dollars is plenty... I suppose that it's enough to get Nataku's head out of the pawn shop... Cat?
Cat: Yeeesssss?
Wufei: I'm going to have to take the money and walk away...
Cat: Sure, no problem... Would you like to take a guess anyway?
Wufei: Yeah, sure.. I'd say B.
Cat: So sorry.. You're lucky to have made your choice. The correct answer is D. a McDonalds Happy Meal.
Audience: Awwww...
::metal music::
Cat: Here's your check for 8000 dollars. Hope you can get your Shenlong's head out of the pawn shop... hehehe... Actually,
you won't be able to... I swaped it for my old telephone.. Nataku's head makes an excellent paperweight... hehehe...
Wufei: YOU DID WHAT???
Cat: Nothing. NOW GET YOUR FILTHY GAY ASS OF THIS STAGE!! Thank you. *pointing* The exit is that way.
::Wufei takes the check and walks out::
::audience applause::
Cat: *sigh* I'm sure glad THAT'S over... *grinning* We'll be right back...
::commercial break::
::end part two::
***Weird, huh? Don't worry, it gets worse. Keep reading!! ^_^ ***