Don't Ever Leave
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Lord of the Rings. I do own Tigerlily though. She is one of my characters from, "A Knock on the Door."
A/N: This is to the song "She Just Wept" by Starsailor. They are not that well known here in the states but they are an amazing band. I'm very sorry if this is confusing. I wasn't sure where I was going with this and then I suddenly found the direction. I'm not sure how to do italics on ff.net so some of the shorter sentences are their thoughts. They story jumps from Frodo to Tigerlily and back again. =) Have fun reading and please review!
She just wept
Like I could not ignore
How can I act
When my heart's on the floor?
I can't believe I'm leaving. He could. He really could believe it. Not that he truly wanted to. He loved her, more then he could ever tell, and he loved Sam too, but he had to leave. His chest started aching, a throbbing that sent shudders through his whole body. The pain. That was why he was leaving. But I finally found her. They girl of my dreams. Why would I leave her? Again he knew the answer. The pain. I'm not going away forever, just for a little while. She can take care of Arwen. Nothing will happen. In his heart he knew that wasn't true. Something will happen. Unconsciously little Arwen, his precious baby girl, would forget her father. He was so torn...he needed rest.
"But Frodo, you can't leave me here. You left Sam once, and he hardly survived. I really don't know if I can." Tigerlily's eyes were welling, but who's wouldn't be if you were silently standing on your front porch, trying to convince your husband not to go to the Immortal Lands.
Sam did this once. Now I have to try my best. Arwen was fast asleep in the tiny hammock that hung in the back garden. She was only three, and barely knew her father. She had his eyes though. I love those eyes, Tigerlily thought. Sparkling blue with specks of yellow and gold. She had thought that so long ago it seemed. And as she pictured his smiling face, she opened her eyes, and looked up. They were crying. Those eyes that she had been sucked into that first day, were crying, soft gentle tears of pleading forgiveness.
Tigerlily ran into Frodo's arms and collapsed. He just stood there, holding her; listening to her whimpering softly on his shoulder.
She just wept
Til her eyes became sore
I knew who he was
But I don't anymore
Leave Frodo. Leave, just go. She can live without you. You need to be well again. You
can't survive like this. She can. But he couldn't leave. He kissed her with all the love and
strength he could muster, and then he ran. He ran past the green fields that he had almost died to
save, he ran past the mill, quietly churning water as it did every day. He ran past little hobbit lads
and lasses, who yelled, "Hello Master Frodo!" as he past, not noticing the tears streaming down
his cheeks. He knew where he was going now. His tree, that's it. He had not been there since
before Arwen was born, but now that was the only place he wanted to be. Up in the air, away
from normal hobbits. Away from the conformity of everyday life in Hobbiton. He reached the
beautiful oak and climbed up its largest branch. The tears just kept coming. This seemed so much
easier the last time. But I only had Sam then. It was easier to leave then. I felt like an outsider,
like someone who was gratefully accepted, but didn't belong. I didn't want to wear a mask
anymore. But why am I leaving now? I have a wonderful life, a beautiful daughter, and a wife
who I love more then anything in Middle Earth. Frodo was afraid. Tigerlily was everything he
had ever wanted in a lass. He had always been popular amongst the girls, but none seemed "his
type" per say. Then she came along. Their meeting was so chance, and everything after like one
of the stories Bilbo used to tell him. She was spunky, creative, sensitive, and loving, not to
mention beautiful.She was shy at times, like Frodo, but loved to chatter, and Frodo loved to
listen. I'm afraid. He finally realized it. I'm afraid she'll go away. Leave me, like Mamma and
Pappa. Leave me like Bilbo, leave me like Gandalf. Everyone has left me. Now Frodo didn't
know why she would leave, but he thought that she would. In truth Tigerlily was sitting on the
porch, still crying. She had thrown a few homemade blankets over little Arwen. It was a Summer
evening, she'd be fine. So Lily had gone to sit on the porch and try to comprehend what had
happened, and how she would live without him. She knew she could get by financially, She held
a wonderful job as a seamstress, and she and Frodo had been saving up since they were married.
But that was not what she was worried about. Frodo was her other half, her heart and soul. She
had felt abandoned and unloved as a child, and Frodo filled that space. She couldn't handle the
emptiness again. She couldn't put on another face for her friends, another mask. She hated
masks, just like...Frodo. Tigerlily buried her face in her hands shaking. She slowly got up and
grabbed an old woolen cloak. She hurried back outside and lay down on the little bench they had
just outside the door. She would wait for him there, and if he came, all she could hope for was
one last kiss before he left.
She just cried
To the ruins of time
That kept us apart
We were doing just fine
Daddy I've got nothing left
My life is good
My love's a mess
My bags. I left them in the parlor. And off Frodo went. He jumped off the branch and ran. He had no real reason too, but something was urging him back home. It was night now, and the moon was high in the cloudless sky. His feet never stopped running, the wind rushing past his face and neck was soothing, but his chest ached. Again the pain. He thought. The scenery flew past him, small lights in the round windows of the smials stared back at him, blurry. Outside New Row he fell and crumbled to the ground. Everything was swirling around him and he couldn't see straight. He heard faintly a door slamming closed and footsteps down the path. It was Sam.
"Frodo, Frodo what happened to you?!" Sam was on his knees next to him, attempting to get Frodo warm and to stop his constant shaking.
"I'm fine Sam, I'm alright." Frodo whispered in a hoarse voice. "I'm going home."
Frodo looked up at Sam. His face was red and his eyes were puffy, but they were alert, and shining, the way they always were when he was thinking. I'll let him go, Sam said to himself. But before he finished his sentence Frodo had scrambled up and started off down the lane. Sam considered running after him, to see that he got home. But he knew better of it. His Master, his friend, his brother, was thinking, and he never disturbed Frodo when he was thinking.
Daddy I've got nothing left
What can I do that's for the best?
Frodo flew up the steps of Bag End and ran through the door. He started to search
frantically about. He searched all the bedrooms, but he couldn't find them. He couldn't find
them anywhere. He ran out the back hallway and saw her, the moonlight shining off her surly
hair. His baby Arwen, sleeping silently on her hammock in peaceful bliss. He picked her up
gently and began to rock her back and forth. Her light breathing seemed to work magic on the
pain that had been searing his chest. It was gone. He walked with her in his arms, around the side
of Underhill, and out onto the front porch. He sat down on the step and stared entranced at this
little bit of magic in his arms. He never wanted to let it go. To let it fly away, or to fly away from
it. Suddenly he heard a soft moan and the rustle of stirring. He turned around slowly and there
was his heart, lying on their little bench, covered in blankets, but still shivering. He put Arwen
down with all care on the soft long grass and put his arms around Lily. He wanted to wake her
up, to kiss her, to tell her he would never leave. But he didn't. He took her over his shoulder and
lay her down beside to Arwen. Frodo, curling up next to her, sighed. He would never leave.
Because he finally knew, they would never leave him.-melanie
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A/N: So did ya like it? Did ya, did ya? Hehe, please review and tell me!