Truly Lonely

Ivory writes about how she really feels her life is in the WWF, and decides to make a change...for the better...or so she thinks.

Disclamier: I don't own anything. But you already know that...so on to the story.

A/N: This was my very first fanfic. I just had to go through it and revise it as of today, June 12, 2005. (Add a few caps here and there, maybe some commas, a few words)

All my days in the WWF are the same. Get to the arena. Go out, go wrestle, wait backstage till the end of the entire show (just in case) and go home.

There's no hanging around or chilling around backstage with my friends. Uh-Uh, not for this chica. Because quite frankly I don't have that many friends. Actually...I may not have any at all...

Ever since I've gotten into the WWF. It's been the same. No one takes the time to notice me or acknowledge my presence. Or even get to know me.

You think they would notice I'm lonely and need a friend but...no. I guess my feelings don't matter. Yes people, I have feelings to. You may not see them quite often but, they're there.

Ever since I first stepped foot into any arena, in any locker room, any hall, I've been getting as little attention as possible. I mean sure there is the occasional: "Hi how you doing Ivory?" or "How's it going" or "What's up Ivory?", but no one would ever stick around to hear my answer.

It makes you wonder...What's the point? What kind of job does that do for one's self esteem? They don't care. They're to busy wrapped up in their own lives to care if I'm actually okay. But that's okay though. I'll be fine.

Then there's the occasional talking behind my back going on from most of my fellow divas. They think I don't hear them, but I do. They say things like: "Oh, what do you think about that one chick Ivory?" and another would reply by saying: " Oh I don't know...another prissy bitch with an attitude. Just what we need. More bitches to ruin the WWF."

It hurts. It really does. People assume how you act by taking one look at you and not even knowing who you really are, the real you. It happens in the real world, believe me I've seen it. That's how it is here. They take my on screen persona and myself and combine them together. When truthfully I'm nothing like my in ring personality.

If they'd just take the time to notice me. Talk to me, listen to me or ask my opinion...on anything, anything at all I'd give my insight. I wouldn't mind answering.

But no. They want to assume...well, let them assume. I can handle it. I've been doing it for quite sometime now. Sometimes I wonder how I go on living like I do. Psh...who knows!

But if that's what they think I'm like really. A prissy bitch with an attitude, maybe that's all they should see.

I should just places my feelings aside (cause they don't matter anyway) and become that hyperactive annoying bitch they see me as.

Who knows maybe, just maybe they'll come through and notice me one day. Talk to me. Hang with me. Become friends with me...

HA! Who am I kidding! (Myself) All I am to them is another obstacle in the way. A non exsisent thing. A nobody or noone. They're all the same things.

Well I should be thinking about my match now. I'm up pretty soon. I should get ready to go out there and wrestle, or maybe I shouldn't it's not like anyone would notice I'm missing (Except Vince of course. Only him, that's really sad...).

You know what? I've had it! I'm thinking really hard and as of now I'm thinking I should throw away the emotional and caring part of me away for good (Noone would miss it. They don't notice it anyway).

From now on I'm a new person. No more Ms. Feeling Ivory...I hope people could come to notice me then. I hope you'll all be happy everyone...cause I'm doing this for you.

Oh! Don't worry about me. I'll be fine (Really...or not). But it doesn't matter about anyway. I hope I please you. So this is for you everyone. NOT. FOR. ME. A present for you all.

I just need a friend.

So? What did you think? I know kinda sad and that's probably not how she feels in real life (Duh), but something just told me to write it. She's gonna become emotionless...wah..I almost cried...when I was typing it. But anyway, please? (Lol)