And I can't remember, for my life, if it said anywhere the trio couldn't do their "one, two, three" thing after becoming senshi-a-fied. (X.x;;) I remember the episode ending with the happy little balls of light floating around, and I'm too lazy to rewatch the episode. Oh well. z_z;;
DISCLAIMER: The Amazon Trio and all of their "manly" goodness are not mine, they're property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha, etc.
What's Your Dream, Baby?
By Platinum Bunny
Fisheye was bored.
The thing was, living in a place where everyone was constantly happy and peaceful and quiet was somewhat sickening. Fun was hard to find, especially since his two closest friends seemed to actually enjoy the quiet.
(Well, Hawkeye did, in any case. Tigereye complained that there was "absolutely, positively NO young girls at all!" When Hawkeye suggested waiting until the cute pink-haired girl came around to visit Pegasus, Tigereye had smashed him over the head with his fist and hollered that he wasn't a pedophile.
"And you went after that Miharu-chan girl because she was nice," said Hawkeye very sarcastically, rubbing his head after Tigereye had left. "She hit people with sticks.")
Thus, Fisheye was sitting inside his small log cabin, completely and utterly bored. He had already waxed his legs and done his hair, but not even that was fun. Besides, Tigereye had yelled at him for that.
"I hate this place," he said to no one in particular. "It's quiet, boring, has too many animals, and...worst of all, no men." He paused. "Well, except Pegasus, but that's bestiality...kind of...and then there's Tigereye and Hawkeye, but they don't count."
Why don't they count? sang the little voice in the back of his head.
It occurred to Fisheye that he really didn't know. He knew for a fact that his two friends were not his type at all - Hawkeye was serious, Tigereye was vain, and they were both too close to him to be considered flirt-worthy material.
But, now that he was thinking about it...
They weren't bad looking, not at all. Hawkeye was gentlemanly and had a very regal, refined look about him. Sure, he had pink hair, but so did the little soldier girl, and she was bearable (as long as she wasn't crying...or screaming...or talking...Fisheye decided to quit while he was ahead). And Tigereye was obviously a pretty boy, not that Fisheye had a problem with it.
Yes, now that he thought about it (a smirk came to his lips), they weren't bad at all.
"Horrible, naughty," he chided himself, "terrible Fisheye. Bad thoughts, Fisheye. But such delicious thoughts."
With another devious smirk and a giggle, Fisheye decided the only thing that could cure his case of boredness was to seduce his friends. It was obvious, and yet the entire time, the thought hadn't even occurred to him! But now it was there, and in full bloom.
But how?
Oh, there were many ways, and each of them brought laughter to Fisheye. He could corner them in the shower, use them when they were asleep, or have an impromptu wrestling match "accidentally" go astray.
"No," he mused, "no. They're good, but not great." And he needed something great.
Fisheye let his eyes wander around the small log cabin for a bit before they came to a rest on the window, where outside, happy dream bunnies and dream animals pranced around like they always did.
Dream bunnies. Dream animals. Window. Glass. Dream...
Of course!
Fisheye laughed again, and then it faded quickly. "Oh, but..." his mouth formed a frown. The Amazon Trio weren't evil anymore, and thus he was pretty sure it wouldn't work. But it could never hurt to try, could it? It had worked on Tigereye once before, and just because they had become pure...
"Yes," Fisheye decided cheerfully, "I'm going to have fun tonight."
(Four hours later, in the same log cabin, in the same room...)
"You're reading again," Tigereye noted blandly.
His companion arched a thin eyebrow over the top of his book. "Oh, really? I hadn't noticed."
"Oh, shut up." With a yawn, Tigereye stretched out on the sofa in a very catlike fashion, then let some of his hair flop over his face. Hawkeye continued to read his book silently, the only sound coming from him was his turning of the pages. Suddenly, Tigereye noted the absence of one from their number.
"Where's Fisheye?"
Hawkeye didn't look up. "I have no idea."
"He's usually home," Tigereye pointed out.
"Yes," agreed Hawkeye, his eyes still skimming his current page. "I bet he is. Try and stop interrupting me, will you? I'm at the good part."
Tigereye snorted and stretched out again. Oh, he was ever bored. And sitting around, watching Hawkeye read, wasn't helping. Any time he tried to start up a conversation, Hawkeye was never interested - it irritated him beyond belief. He supposed he could head off to bed, but it was only ten at night according to the clock, and he hated to sleep before midnight. It was a habitual thing.
Click.
He heard the front door opened, and Tigereye sat up. "Fisheye?" he called into the next room, "is that you?"
"Yes."
"Oh. Where've you been?"
"Out and around."
Tigereye scoffed. The only place to go around the forest was the lake, and that was only if you wanted to see some sickeningly cute fish. Which made sense, he realized, if you really were a fish and needed some company.
Stretching his arms once more, Tigereye stood up from the couch. "I'm hungry," he announced. "Fisheye, is there any food in - "
He was abruptly cut off as Fisheye dashed into the room, brandishing Tigereye's long black whip. Tigereye glared heavily at him, and started to say that Fisheye would probably poke someone's eye out with the thing, when Fisheye spoke first.
"One!"
Tigereye had about a moment to react before Fisheye cried out again ("Two!") and he was chained to the large red board. Hawkeye apparently noticed this, because he put his bookmark into his book and stood up to protest.
"Fisheye, if you - "
"One!" *pop* "Two!" *click*
Everything was in place, and thus the scene looked like this: Hawkeye and Tigereye chained by their ankles and wrists to a gigantic coffin-shaped board, and Fisheye standing in front of them, brandishing a whip and wearing a satisfied smirk on his face.
There was a very prolonged silence until Hawkeye spoke up. "The next number is 'three,' in case you forgot."
"Oh, I know," remarked Fisheye airily. "But I don't need that. I'm not after your dreams, you know. I know we've got them now - I don't want to know Tigereye's dream, anyway," he added in slight disgust. "Pedophilia at its worst."
"Shut up."
Fisheye laughed and then cracked the whip. Tigereye eyed him apprehensively - he looked smug and victorious, but about what? He let his gaze move to Hawkeye for a brief moment, who looked absolutely horrified about something. What was the big deal? Fisheye had only chained the two of them down to a flat surface -
Tigereye let out an impressive stream of curses.
"Oh, now you get it, don't you?" said Fisheye in a much more sly voice than usual.
"Fisheye, back up," Hawkeye snapped. "We do not have the same tastes as you, which we have pointed out several times. And, of course, you have said on multiple occasions that we are not your type."
"Yes, well..." Fisheye gave a helpless shrug. "When the supply is low, take your last resort, I say."
Now Tigereye was beginning to feel panicked. Fisheye giggled again and then seemed to be considering for a moment before cracking the whip on the floor. The tip touched against Tigereye's foot, and he winced in pain.
Fisheye grinned, walking up to Tigereye and standing lightly on his toes to let their noses touch. "Well, I think that because Hawkeye has a thing for older people," he purred somewhat seductively, "you can go first."
"Get away from me!" Tigereye hollered.
Fisheye simply smirked and walked around the board, letting his hand trail over Tigereye's cheek, and lightly wrapped the whip around the top of his neck. Tigereye bit his lip, drawing some blood, as Fisheye whipped his head around the corner of the board, giggling again.
"Well, how do you like to do it?" he asked curiously.
"Dammit, get off of me!" Tigereye snapped.
Again, Fisheye laughed, although Tigereye couldn't help but notice his voice was lower and more sultry. "Right, then. I'll take you in the hard way."
He came around the front again, facing Tigereye. Next to him, Hawkeye was sweatdropping and looking very nervous about the current situation, although it was minimal compared to Tigereye's current feelings. Fisheye came closer, and Tigereye squeezed his eyes shut as their lips brushed.
*WHAM* *CLUNK*
Fisheye drew away quickly, allowing Tigereye to spit furiously on his own lips.
From out of the next room, rope wrapped around his two back hooves, Pegasus dragged himself into the room. Hawkeye bit back a vehement cry, Tigereye chose not to, and Fisheye dropped his whip.
"What's going on?" Pegasus asked, and although his face held no expression, Tigereye could tell he was upset and confused. He looked towards Hawkeye, "do you have some sort of explanation for this?"
Hawkeye made an odd noise.
An odd expression appeared on Fisheye's face, and he smirked. "I'm seducing them," he said, with the air of one answering an elementary math problem.
"Oh, that's right," said Pegasus, realization dawning. "Should I leave you alone?"
"DON'T GO!" hollered Tigereye. "I DON'T LIKE MEN THIS WAY!"
"Especially not him!" added Hawkeye in a panic.
Pegasus seemed to almost smirk, if a winged horse could, of course. "Yes, but he's paying me half a million yen to stay out of his way."
Tigereye blinked. "So, then, why the hell are you tied up like that?"
"Yes, well..." Pegasus began dragging himself from the room again. "He needed a bit of practice."
Hawkeye blanched.
~ Fin (thank God...)