BLACKOUT CHAPTER 3
Harm's Apartment
1700 Zulu
The day passed slow. Normally, Mac would try and walk for about an hour.
It had only been a couple days since she was taken off the bars and Harm
was taking extra percautions. Harm thought that today Mac would rest; he
should have known better. Mac wanted to walk as soon as they got home, she
had much different plans. She wanted to work all day. She was really surprised
when, after all her arguing, he never did let her walk that day.
Mac was sleeping when the movie that they found was over. A movie is what
they settled on whe Mac couldn't convince Harm to let her walk. Harm was on
one end of the couch and Mac was leanded up against him. Harm's arm was
loosely drapped over Mac's ribs, their hands lightly entwined together.
The credits rolled from the tv screen as the movie ended. Harm flicked off
tele and the room went dark, minus the soft glow of the stove light. Doing
his very best not to wake Mac, he lifted her into his arms. At the sudden
movement, Mac's eyes shot open like a bullet from a gun.
"Harm?" Mac looked up at Harm before replacing her head on his shoulder.
"It's okay. I'm just taking you to the bedroom." He felt her nodd her head
slightly. When he tucked her in, Harm went to change into his sleep wear.
For that last three months, Mac's mind wasn't able to relax. Now that she
was at 'home' it got the chance to dream.
But good dreams did not come and wouldn't come. The last 2 months and three
weeks of her PT, she didn't voice her worries or concerns. She still really
hadn't what she was thinking or feeling. She hadn't since that day in the
hospital room. Now that the nightmares would soon fill her head, she'd have
to talk sometime or it would eat her alive.
Harm came from the bathroom, the days events starting to finally take effect
on him. Quitely, he crawled into, checking on Mac once more before closing
his own eyes.
Harm's Apartment
2200 Hours Zulu
Harm was in an dead sleep it didn't look as if he would wake up. Mac's night-
mares hit full force. She thrashed around the bed trying to escape the
contionus blows that the nightmare kept handing her. "HARM!" She choked.
Screaming 'NO!,' she bloted strait up, Harm close behind.
Her sweat mixed with her tears as she let Harm guide her back down to the
pillow. Harm pulled her close, chanting soothing words, running his hand,
with a soft touch, over her back and face. She held on until she was asleep.
Even then she didn't let go, her grip just loosened. The night went without
further inncodent. Nevertheless, Harm didn't go back to sleep until he knew
that Mac was sleeping sound
Both Harm and Mac woke up at about the same time. Harm helped Mac to the
couch, and that's where she'd been since 1100. Every once and a while, she'd
use the excuse of having to go to the bathroom, just to get up and move around
some without causing to much supition. Harm knew what she was doing, but
humored her. She had been quite all day, only really talking when she was
asked a question. But, if she could avoid speaking, she found the way.
Harm's apartment
1800 Zulu
"Hey, it's cooling down outside, you want to walk for a bit?" Harm asked
kneeling down in front of her. "Yeah, that sounds good." Mac smiled as Harm
helped her to her feet, but kept his arm, firmly, but gently around her. "You
up to walking down about a block and get some dinner. The new little restaurant
just opened up." Harm slipped Mac's coat around her arms and through his on.
He wanted his hands to be free if Mac's knee's decided to give up on her
again. "Yeah, That shounds good. I'm getting hungry." Harm laughed along with
Mac. She was steadily getting stronger. On the way, she only stumbled once or
twice.
Dinner was well spent. They talked about different things, laughed, joked and
had a good time. "It's getting pretty late. We should probably be getting
home." Harm said holding up his hand for the check. "You ready?" He asked
sliding his money into the little plastic slot. Mac nodded, rubbing her eyes.
Harm helped her to her feet.
About half way home, Mac's legs were about to give in. "You okay?" Harm asked,
noticing that she looked like she was in a little pain. "You want me to hail
a cab?" Mac nodded her head. "No, we're almost there." Though she was able to
move about, she got tired fast. She hated it. She hated feeling helpless.
"You sure?" He questioned. "Yeah." She answered through gritted teeth. "Come
here." Harm lifted her into his arms. "Harm..." She tried to get him to put
her down. "It's okay, look we're home, let me just carry you up stairs. Mac,
you're about to drop." Mac looked at him pleading eyes. "Fine." Slowly, he
lowed her back down to the ground.
By the time they got inside and Mac was on the couch, she was in loads of
pain; though she would never admit it. Her face told a different story. "Here,
sit down and I'll go get some pain killers." Harm said, guiding her to the
couch. Mac squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. "Here." He said handing
her some Advil and a coke.
Mac smiled weakly and quickly downed her meds. The pain that shot through
her nerves was great. It hurt so bad that it hurt to breath. Harm rubbed her
back until she caught her breath. "Breath." Harm coached her. "Harm, do you
think...that...just until I fall asleep, that... you could hold me?" Harm
opened his arms and she climbed in, like a child that just had woke from a
bad dream.
"You want to tell me why you push so hard today?" He asked running his fingers
over her back and arms. "Not really." She simply answered. "Mac, you need to
let me in." Mac nodded. "Later...promise." Her eyes lowered and the room went
black. An hour passed and Mac still slept in the protective embrase of the
man she loved.
This would be the time that Bud and Hariett decide to show up. Bud poked his
head in the door, once he realized it was unlocked. Bud smiled at the site
before him. "Come in, Bud." Bud stepped into the living room, Hariett close
behind.
"Did we come at a bad time, Sir?" Hariett asked smiling. "No, Hariett, your
timing is fine. Sit down. Hariett, could you help me?" Harm asked, slowly
standing up, careful not to wake Mac. The last thing that he wanted was to
wake her up and have one pissed off Marine. "Pull the covers down, would you
please?" Her smile growing, Hariett did as asked.
Once Mac was settled, did they return to the living room. "How's she doing,
Sir?" Bud asked kepping his voice as low as possible. Harm looked toward Mac
before answering. "Physically, she's getting better with each passing day.
Mentally, she going backwards. She doesn't believe that she'll ever fully walk
again. And the more she tells herslef that, the more she pushes and she ends
up getting hurt again. Then it starts over. I'm really worried about her, guys."
Once more, Harm looked toward the bedroom where Mac still slept. "She'll
make it, Sir. She has to." Bud said smiling. "Well, Sir, we better get going.
Little AJ's babysitter has to be home in an hour. Hariett chimed in.
The three stood and walked to the door. "Thanks for stopping by," Harm
whispered opening the door.
"You'll keep us up to date, right, Sir?" Bud asked turning around. Harm nodded.
Harm closed the door with a light 'click'. "Harm?" Mac called. "I'm right
here." He said as he sat down beside her. "How you feeling?" Harm asked
removing a stray peice of hair from her eyes.
"Okay." Harm took hold of her hand and sweetly kissed her palm. "You want to
watch TV?" He asked lowering her hand back down to her side. "Actually, I
want to take a bath." She replyed a little sheepishly. "Okay." Harm stood up
and went to get the water ready. He came back a few minutes later.
"Your bath awaites you, my lady." He said playfully, extending his hand to
help her up. "Now I know that you only ate about 2 1/2 hours ago, but thats
never stopped you before; so you want something to eat?" Mac smiled. "Sounds
good." Mac sat down on the toilet seat. "We could order the Harm and Mac
speical.
Mac nodded quietly, focusing on the bubbled water. "I'll go order, while you
soak up. Call me if you need anything." With that Mac was alone. As fast as
she could manage, she underssed and placed herslef in the welcoming water.
Harm called in the pizza order and sat on the couch. He was deep in though
when he heard Mac's gentel call.
Harm's head snapped from the possion it held. Mac was leaned against the wall
her arms crossed over her chest. Harm jumped up like a lightning blot across
the sky. "Mac, are you crazy." He asked reaching her side before she could
even have time to blink. Mac giggled. "Harm, would you relax." He gave her a
look that made her laugh even more. He took hold of her hand to guide her to
the couch. "Humor me, okay? Don't scare me like that." He lead Mac over to
the couch.
By the time she was settled, the pizza boy showed up. Harm payed him and shut
the door with the heel of his foot. "You want something to drink?" He asked
setting the box down on the coffie table. Mac nodded through a mouthful of
food.
Harm brought back two glasses of Coke. Once she finished off that peice, she
spoke. "Hey, Harm. Do you think that after we get threw eating, we can walk
again?" Mac looked at him, her eyes pleading. "It's getting dark outside,
Mac. Plus it's cold. If we go out now, you'll catch your death." Mac looked
at the floor in dissopointment.
"But I guess that won't stop us from walking in here." Mac lite up like a
child in a candy store. "But, only under one condition. We stop when I say.
Because I'm not even supposed to be letting you do this." Harm couldn't do
it to her. He couldn't not let her walk. "But, you have to finish eating.
*****************************************************************************
They walked for about 30 minutes before Harm said times up. Mac collasped
down on the couch, her breathing laybored. She worked hard, but to her, not
hard enough.
"Your legs hurt?" Harm asked wiping beads of sweat from her brow. "Just tired."
Her breathing slowed to a normal pase. Now it was time to talk. "Mac, I've
waited long enough. It's time to talk." Mac pushed herslef into a sitting
possion. She knew that this was comming, she just would have rather had it
later, rather than sooner.
Harm continued. "Why'd you push youself so hard today, Mac?" Mac shrugged,
but remained quiet. "Mac, you have to have a reason for reducing youself to
tears." Harm studied her as she tried to answer. "I,uh, keep having this
dream where I can never walk again..." Mac tried to controll the emotion that
she buried for so long, but the tears wouldn't stay at bay.
"And, I can't let that happen." More tears fell as she relived all the past
pain one more time. "Oh, Mac." Harm pulled her near, feeling the wetness of
her tears seep through the cotton fabrick of his shirt. His hands on her
shoulders, he gently pushed her back to meet her gaxe. "Listen to me. Do you
realize how far you've come in your recovery? Hell, Mac, the doctors didn't
even know if you were ever going to be able to walk agian." He wiped somemore
tears from her eyes and cheeks. "Your muscles are sore becasue they're getting
a work out." More tears fell, adn he swiped them away.
"I know all that. It's just because the dreams sometimes get the best of me.
And I don't want any of those dreams to once again becaome a reality." Harm
pulled her onto his embrase once again. "Mac, why didn't you tell me all this
before?" Harm asked softly into her hair. She sat up and looked at him
through blury vision.
"I didn't want you to think that I was getting into a bad place again. I
didn't want to have to put you through everything again. I know you did in
the hospitle...I just didn't want you to think that I was hopeless." He held
her as she cried all her fears away. Her words cut through him, making his
eyes tear up as well.
He composed himself before he let himslef speak. "Mac, I could nver render
you hopeless. I never have and I never will." He kissed the top of her head
with a soft touch. He hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. He fought
back his own tears again as she cried in his arms. "Mac, promise me something."
He said against her hair. "Promise me that you'll let me in. That you'll
tell me when you're scared. You know that I'll always be here, right?" She
sat up and studied his features. She could see the tears forming.
"Yeah. I promise, Harm." "Good. Now, lets go to bed." Mac lay her head down
on Harm's shoulder. "I just want to stay right here." She whispered, her eyes
already closed.
After about another hour of holding her and watching her sleep, Harm carried
her into the bedroom. She didn't make a sound as she slowly set her into the
bed. Making sure she was covered up all the way, Harm allowed himslef to
relax. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
*****************************************************************************
ONE MONTH LATER
JAG HQ
0800
Harm and Mac walked through the double doors of the elevator. She didn't know
why she was nervous, she just was. She kept telling herself that she was
just egar to get back to work. What she didn't know what that everyone at the
office was throwing her a welcome back party; created by Harm and Hariett.
Mac couldn't contain the look of shock on her face as everyone stood up and
yelled her welcome. Once everyone had calmed down, Tiner came walking up.
"Welcome back, Col." Mac smiled. "Thank you Tiner. It's good to be back."
"The Admiral wants you both ASAP."
Everything settled down in the office when the two of them were out of sight.
"Welcome back, Col." AJ said when he saw her enter. "Now, I have the doctors
note saying that you can only work 5 hours a day." Mac looked like she was
about to object, but AJ stopped her before she had the chance. "That sounds
good to me. They also told me that you were to be put on light cases." AJ
looked at Harm as if to warn him to make sure that she sayed that way and out
of trouble for the time being.
"So, for you first case back, you'll be defending a petty officer accused of
breaking and entering. Hopefully, this case is one that will cause you to
*stay* out of trouble." He added with a hint of a smile prying onto his lips.
"Yes, Sir." Mac took the folder and out of habit opened it and quickly glanced
through it. "Uh, anything for me, Sir?" AJ shifted his eyes over to his right.
"Yes there is, Commander. You are sitting second with Mac. I thought that you
both could use to easy going time."
"Okay, well, it's 0900 right now, you'll be dismissed to go home at 1400.
Any minute over that there will be trouble to pay. Dismissed." Together they
rose from the chair and snapped to attention. "Aye, Sir." Once outside Mac's
office Harm spoke. "Well, Marine, you ready to get down to business?" Mac
smiled opening the door. "Only if you think that you can handle it, Squid."
They worked non-stop until it was time to go. They hardley stuck their faces
outside Mac's office door, but to go to the bathroom or get something to snack
on or to drink. "Okay, Mac. It's 1400. Time to go."
Mac nodded without a word and gathered her things. "What do you say, we go
home, eat dinner and walk around a bit?" Mac smiled, her eyes lighting with
the idea of walking some more.
"Yeah, sounds like a plan. So, what are you cooking?" Harm met her eyes and
playfully added. "Me? Why do I have to cook? I think that tonight *You* should
cook." He couldn't hide the smile that showed. "I don't think so. Plus, I've
got you to well trained for that one, Harmon." "Oh, you think so, huh?" He
said, a laugh excaping him. "I know so. Come on, lets go home."
Together they walked to the elevators and down to the car. The ride home was
made with nothing but the songs on the radio being heard. It was nice. Mac
was practicly dead to the world by the time that they got back to Harm's
place. Harm looked over to the woman beside him and smiled.
She looked so sweet and innocent. Like nothing in the world could touch her.
'Well, guess I should get her upstairs.' he thought to himself. Quitely, he
hopped out of the car and ran to the other side. Opening the door, he studied
her once again before waking her.
"Mac." He ran his index finger down her cheek to rouse her from the dream-
land she was about to enter. "Hey, wake up. We're home." Mac blinked as the
sunlight hit her full force in the eyes. "Hey." She whispered, sleep still in
her voice. "Hey youslef." Slowly enough, he exited the car and the began to
walk the never ending way to the elevators that awaited them.
"You okay?" Harm asked setting Mac down on the couch. "Yeah. Just hurting a
little." "You want some pain killers?" Mac nodded. She had been taking less
and less of what she was supposed to be, and dening when she was in pain.
But, Mac will be Mac, Harm kept telling himself. He knew that if it got to
bad that she would take her meds. He also knew that she wasn't going to take
them on every little throb that came out.
"Here, come on." He said, after she downed the pills. She scooted over to him
and let him begin to rub the tention out of her legs. "Just tell me when I
hit a sore spot." He warned. He saw her flinch a few times, but kept going.
"Okay. Good for now, Flyboy." She told him after a while. "You think that we
could walk some now?" Mac almost begged. "Yeah. You want to do it here, or
walk outside?"
"Lets just do it here. You think that we can go to the track tomorrow for
a while though? We could walk around some and relax a bit." She was almost pleading. "You got it." Harm
stated as he helped her to her feet.
Everday for 30 minutes they walked. Some day's were better than others. Sometimes, after a walk, she would be
in imence pain.
They had been walking for 45 min. now. He just couldn't tell her no when she asked for
more time. He didn't know why, but he guess that it had to do with that look that
she got in her eyes. Like a sad puppy dog that begged for a treat.
Now, it really was time to stop. "Okay, that's enough." Harm told her, moving toward the
couch. "A little longer?" Harm sighed. He wasn't falling fo rit this time. "Give it
a while. We'll pick up again in the morning." He answered, gently, but sternly.
"You want your pills?" He asked, noticing that she was hurting. She shook her head
no. "Mac, being in pain won't help your recovery." He whispered brushing an invisible tear
away from her cheek. "I'm scared, Harm. What will I do if I never can walk like normal?
What will I do?" Now river flowed. Harm picked her up and pulled her into his lap.
"Hey, what's bringing this on?" He whispered. "I keep having this dream that I never can
walk normal again. I'm alone. You left, they all left. I don't have anyone."
Harm squeezed her slightly and looked into her eyes. "That's where you've got it wrong,
Marine." He said wiping away the wetness. "I'm here now and forever. I'll never leave
you. Believe it or not, you have people here that love and care about you. And know
that they will never leave you."
"I'm just so scared, Harm." Again Harm pulled her near while she cired her fears.
"Sh, it's okay, Sarah."
Harm's Apartment
1700 Zulu
The day passed slow. Normally, Mac would try and walk for about an hour.
It had only been a couple days since she was taken off the bars and Harm
was taking extra percautions. Harm thought that today Mac would rest; he
should have known better. Mac wanted to walk as soon as they got home, she
had much different plans. She wanted to work all day. She was really surprised
when, after all her arguing, he never did let her walk that day.
Mac was sleeping when the movie that they found was over. A movie is what
they settled on whe Mac couldn't convince Harm to let her walk. Harm was on
one end of the couch and Mac was leanded up against him. Harm's arm was
loosely drapped over Mac's ribs, their hands lightly entwined together.
The credits rolled from the tv screen as the movie ended. Harm flicked off
tele and the room went dark, minus the soft glow of the stove light. Doing
his very best not to wake Mac, he lifted her into his arms. At the sudden
movement, Mac's eyes shot open like a bullet from a gun.
"Harm?" Mac looked up at Harm before replacing her head on his shoulder.
"It's okay. I'm just taking you to the bedroom." He felt her nodd her head
slightly. When he tucked her in, Harm went to change into his sleep wear.
For that last three months, Mac's mind wasn't able to relax. Now that she
was at 'home' it got the chance to dream.
But good dreams did not come and wouldn't come. The last 2 months and three
weeks of her PT, she didn't voice her worries or concerns. She still really
hadn't what she was thinking or feeling. She hadn't since that day in the
hospital room. Now that the nightmares would soon fill her head, she'd have
to talk sometime or it would eat her alive.
Harm came from the bathroom, the days events starting to finally take effect
on him. Quitely, he crawled into, checking on Mac once more before closing
his own eyes.
Harm's Apartment
2200 Hours Zulu
Harm was in an dead sleep it didn't look as if he would wake up. Mac's night-
mares hit full force. She thrashed around the bed trying to escape the
contionus blows that the nightmare kept handing her. "HARM!" She choked.
Screaming 'NO!,' she bloted strait up, Harm close behind.
Her sweat mixed with her tears as she let Harm guide her back down to the
pillow. Harm pulled her close, chanting soothing words, running his hand,
with a soft touch, over her back and face. She held on until she was asleep.
Even then she didn't let go, her grip just loosened. The night went without
further inncodent. Nevertheless, Harm didn't go back to sleep until he knew
that Mac was sleeping sound
Both Harm and Mac woke up at about the same time. Harm helped Mac to the
couch, and that's where she'd been since 1100. Every once and a while, she'd
use the excuse of having to go to the bathroom, just to get up and move around
some without causing to much supition. Harm knew what she was doing, but
humored her. She had been quite all day, only really talking when she was
asked a question. But, if she could avoid speaking, she found the way.
Harm's apartment
1800 Zulu
"Hey, it's cooling down outside, you want to walk for a bit?" Harm asked
kneeling down in front of her. "Yeah, that sounds good." Mac smiled as Harm
helped her to her feet, but kept his arm, firmly, but gently around her. "You
up to walking down about a block and get some dinner. The new little restaurant
just opened up." Harm slipped Mac's coat around her arms and through his on.
He wanted his hands to be free if Mac's knee's decided to give up on her
again. "Yeah, That shounds good. I'm getting hungry." Harm laughed along with
Mac. She was steadily getting stronger. On the way, she only stumbled once or
twice.
Dinner was well spent. They talked about different things, laughed, joked and
had a good time. "It's getting pretty late. We should probably be getting
home." Harm said holding up his hand for the check. "You ready?" He asked
sliding his money into the little plastic slot. Mac nodded, rubbing her eyes.
Harm helped her to her feet.
About half way home, Mac's legs were about to give in. "You okay?" Harm asked,
noticing that she looked like she was in a little pain. "You want me to hail
a cab?" Mac nodded her head. "No, we're almost there." Though she was able to
move about, she got tired fast. She hated it. She hated feeling helpless.
"You sure?" He questioned. "Yeah." She answered through gritted teeth. "Come
here." Harm lifted her into his arms. "Harm..." She tried to get him to put
her down. "It's okay, look we're home, let me just carry you up stairs. Mac,
you're about to drop." Mac looked at him pleading eyes. "Fine." Slowly, he
lowed her back down to the ground.
By the time they got inside and Mac was on the couch, she was in loads of
pain; though she would never admit it. Her face told a different story. "Here,
sit down and I'll go get some pain killers." Harm said, guiding her to the
couch. Mac squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. "Here." He said handing
her some Advil and a coke.
Mac smiled weakly and quickly downed her meds. The pain that shot through
her nerves was great. It hurt so bad that it hurt to breath. Harm rubbed her
back until she caught her breath. "Breath." Harm coached her. "Harm, do you
think...that...just until I fall asleep, that... you could hold me?" Harm
opened his arms and she climbed in, like a child that just had woke from a
bad dream.
"You want to tell me why you push so hard today?" He asked running his fingers
over her back and arms. "Not really." She simply answered. "Mac, you need to
let me in." Mac nodded. "Later...promise." Her eyes lowered and the room went
black. An hour passed and Mac still slept in the protective embrase of the
man she loved.
This would be the time that Bud and Hariett decide to show up. Bud poked his
head in the door, once he realized it was unlocked. Bud smiled at the site
before him. "Come in, Bud." Bud stepped into the living room, Hariett close
behind.
"Did we come at a bad time, Sir?" Hariett asked smiling. "No, Hariett, your
timing is fine. Sit down. Hariett, could you help me?" Harm asked, slowly
standing up, careful not to wake Mac. The last thing that he wanted was to
wake her up and have one pissed off Marine. "Pull the covers down, would you
please?" Her smile growing, Hariett did as asked.
Once Mac was settled, did they return to the living room. "How's she doing,
Sir?" Bud asked kepping his voice as low as possible. Harm looked toward Mac
before answering. "Physically, she's getting better with each passing day.
Mentally, she going backwards. She doesn't believe that she'll ever fully walk
again. And the more she tells herslef that, the more she pushes and she ends
up getting hurt again. Then it starts over. I'm really worried about her, guys."
Once more, Harm looked toward the bedroom where Mac still slept. "She'll
make it, Sir. She has to." Bud said smiling. "Well, Sir, we better get going.
Little AJ's babysitter has to be home in an hour. Hariett chimed in.
The three stood and walked to the door. "Thanks for stopping by," Harm
whispered opening the door.
"You'll keep us up to date, right, Sir?" Bud asked turning around. Harm nodded.
Harm closed the door with a light 'click'. "Harm?" Mac called. "I'm right
here." He said as he sat down beside her. "How you feeling?" Harm asked
removing a stray peice of hair from her eyes.
"Okay." Harm took hold of her hand and sweetly kissed her palm. "You want to
watch TV?" He asked lowering her hand back down to her side. "Actually, I
want to take a bath." She replyed a little sheepishly. "Okay." Harm stood up
and went to get the water ready. He came back a few minutes later.
"Your bath awaites you, my lady." He said playfully, extending his hand to
help her up. "Now I know that you only ate about 2 1/2 hours ago, but thats
never stopped you before; so you want something to eat?" Mac smiled. "Sounds
good." Mac sat down on the toilet seat. "We could order the Harm and Mac
speical.
Mac nodded quietly, focusing on the bubbled water. "I'll go order, while you
soak up. Call me if you need anything." With that Mac was alone. As fast as
she could manage, she underssed and placed herslef in the welcoming water.
Harm called in the pizza order and sat on the couch. He was deep in though
when he heard Mac's gentel call.
Harm's head snapped from the possion it held. Mac was leaned against the wall
her arms crossed over her chest. Harm jumped up like a lightning blot across
the sky. "Mac, are you crazy." He asked reaching her side before she could
even have time to blink. Mac giggled. "Harm, would you relax." He gave her a
look that made her laugh even more. He took hold of her hand to guide her to
the couch. "Humor me, okay? Don't scare me like that." He lead Mac over to
the couch.
By the time she was settled, the pizza boy showed up. Harm payed him and shut
the door with the heel of his foot. "You want something to drink?" He asked
setting the box down on the coffie table. Mac nodded through a mouthful of
food.
Harm brought back two glasses of Coke. Once she finished off that peice, she
spoke. "Hey, Harm. Do you think that after we get threw eating, we can walk
again?" Mac looked at him, her eyes pleading. "It's getting dark outside,
Mac. Plus it's cold. If we go out now, you'll catch your death." Mac looked
at the floor in dissopointment.
"But I guess that won't stop us from walking in here." Mac lite up like a
child in a candy store. "But, only under one condition. We stop when I say.
Because I'm not even supposed to be letting you do this." Harm couldn't do
it to her. He couldn't not let her walk. "But, you have to finish eating.
*****************************************************************************
They walked for about 30 minutes before Harm said times up. Mac collasped
down on the couch, her breathing laybored. She worked hard, but to her, not
hard enough.
"Your legs hurt?" Harm asked wiping beads of sweat from her brow. "Just tired."
Her breathing slowed to a normal pase. Now it was time to talk. "Mac, I've
waited long enough. It's time to talk." Mac pushed herslef into a sitting
possion. She knew that this was comming, she just would have rather had it
later, rather than sooner.
Harm continued. "Why'd you push youself so hard today, Mac?" Mac shrugged,
but remained quiet. "Mac, you have to have a reason for reducing youself to
tears." Harm studied her as she tried to answer. "I,uh, keep having this
dream where I can never walk again..." Mac tried to controll the emotion that
she buried for so long, but the tears wouldn't stay at bay.
"And, I can't let that happen." More tears fell as she relived all the past
pain one more time. "Oh, Mac." Harm pulled her near, feeling the wetness of
her tears seep through the cotton fabrick of his shirt. His hands on her
shoulders, he gently pushed her back to meet her gaxe. "Listen to me. Do you
realize how far you've come in your recovery? Hell, Mac, the doctors didn't
even know if you were ever going to be able to walk agian." He wiped somemore
tears from her eyes and cheeks. "Your muscles are sore becasue they're getting
a work out." More tears fell, adn he swiped them away.
"I know all that. It's just because the dreams sometimes get the best of me.
And I don't want any of those dreams to once again becaome a reality." Harm
pulled her onto his embrase once again. "Mac, why didn't you tell me all this
before?" Harm asked softly into her hair. She sat up and looked at him
through blury vision.
"I didn't want you to think that I was getting into a bad place again. I
didn't want to have to put you through everything again. I know you did in
the hospitle...I just didn't want you to think that I was hopeless." He held
her as she cried all her fears away. Her words cut through him, making his
eyes tear up as well.
He composed himself before he let himslef speak. "Mac, I could nver render
you hopeless. I never have and I never will." He kissed the top of her head
with a soft touch. He hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. He fought
back his own tears again as she cried in his arms. "Mac, promise me something."
He said against her hair. "Promise me that you'll let me in. That you'll
tell me when you're scared. You know that I'll always be here, right?" She
sat up and studied his features. She could see the tears forming.
"Yeah. I promise, Harm." "Good. Now, lets go to bed." Mac lay her head down
on Harm's shoulder. "I just want to stay right here." She whispered, her eyes
already closed.
After about another hour of holding her and watching her sleep, Harm carried
her into the bedroom. She didn't make a sound as she slowly set her into the
bed. Making sure she was covered up all the way, Harm allowed himslef to
relax. He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.
*****************************************************************************
ONE MONTH LATER
JAG HQ
0800
Harm and Mac walked through the double doors of the elevator. She didn't know
why she was nervous, she just was. She kept telling herself that she was
just egar to get back to work. What she didn't know what that everyone at the
office was throwing her a welcome back party; created by Harm and Hariett.
Mac couldn't contain the look of shock on her face as everyone stood up and
yelled her welcome. Once everyone had calmed down, Tiner came walking up.
"Welcome back, Col." Mac smiled. "Thank you Tiner. It's good to be back."
"The Admiral wants you both ASAP."
Everything settled down in the office when the two of them were out of sight.
"Welcome back, Col." AJ said when he saw her enter. "Now, I have the doctors
note saying that you can only work 5 hours a day." Mac looked like she was
about to object, but AJ stopped her before she had the chance. "That sounds
good to me. They also told me that you were to be put on light cases." AJ
looked at Harm as if to warn him to make sure that she sayed that way and out
of trouble for the time being.
"So, for you first case back, you'll be defending a petty officer accused of
breaking and entering. Hopefully, this case is one that will cause you to
*stay* out of trouble." He added with a hint of a smile prying onto his lips.
"Yes, Sir." Mac took the folder and out of habit opened it and quickly glanced
through it. "Uh, anything for me, Sir?" AJ shifted his eyes over to his right.
"Yes there is, Commander. You are sitting second with Mac. I thought that you
both could use to easy going time."
"Okay, well, it's 0900 right now, you'll be dismissed to go home at 1400.
Any minute over that there will be trouble to pay. Dismissed." Together they
rose from the chair and snapped to attention. "Aye, Sir." Once outside Mac's
office Harm spoke. "Well, Marine, you ready to get down to business?" Mac
smiled opening the door. "Only if you think that you can handle it, Squid."
They worked non-stop until it was time to go. They hardley stuck their faces
outside Mac's office door, but to go to the bathroom or get something to snack
on or to drink. "Okay, Mac. It's 1400. Time to go."
Mac nodded without a word and gathered her things. "What do you say, we go
home, eat dinner and walk around a bit?" Mac smiled, her eyes lighting with
the idea of walking some more.
"Yeah, sounds like a plan. So, what are you cooking?" Harm met her eyes and
playfully added. "Me? Why do I have to cook? I think that tonight *You* should
cook." He couldn't hide the smile that showed. "I don't think so. Plus, I've
got you to well trained for that one, Harmon." "Oh, you think so, huh?" He
said, a laugh excaping him. "I know so. Come on, lets go home."
Together they walked to the elevators and down to the car. The ride home was
made with nothing but the songs on the radio being heard. It was nice. Mac
was practicly dead to the world by the time that they got back to Harm's
place. Harm looked over to the woman beside him and smiled.
She looked so sweet and innocent. Like nothing in the world could touch her.
'Well, guess I should get her upstairs.' he thought to himself. Quitely, he
hopped out of the car and ran to the other side. Opening the door, he studied
her once again before waking her.
"Mac." He ran his index finger down her cheek to rouse her from the dream-
land she was about to enter. "Hey, wake up. We're home." Mac blinked as the
sunlight hit her full force in the eyes. "Hey." She whispered, sleep still in
her voice. "Hey youslef." Slowly enough, he exited the car and the began to
walk the never ending way to the elevators that awaited them.
"You okay?" Harm asked setting Mac down on the couch. "Yeah. Just hurting a
little." "You want some pain killers?" Mac nodded. She had been taking less
and less of what she was supposed to be, and dening when she was in pain.
But, Mac will be Mac, Harm kept telling himself. He knew that if it got to
bad that she would take her meds. He also knew that she wasn't going to take
them on every little throb that came out.
"Here, come on." He said, after she downed the pills. She scooted over to him
and let him begin to rub the tention out of her legs. "Just tell me when I
hit a sore spot." He warned. He saw her flinch a few times, but kept going.
"Okay. Good for now, Flyboy." She told him after a while. "You think that we
could walk some now?" Mac almost begged. "Yeah. You want to do it here, or
walk outside?"
"Lets just do it here. You think that we can go to the track tomorrow for
a while though? We could walk around some and relax a bit." She was almost pleading. "You got it." Harm
stated as he helped her to her feet.
Everday for 30 minutes they walked. Some day's were better than others. Sometimes, after a walk, she would be
in imence pain.
They had been walking for 45 min. now. He just couldn't tell her no when she asked for
more time. He didn't know why, but he guess that it had to do with that look that
she got in her eyes. Like a sad puppy dog that begged for a treat.
Now, it really was time to stop. "Okay, that's enough." Harm told her, moving toward the
couch. "A little longer?" Harm sighed. He wasn't falling fo rit this time. "Give it
a while. We'll pick up again in the morning." He answered, gently, but sternly.
"You want your pills?" He asked, noticing that she was hurting. She shook her head
no. "Mac, being in pain won't help your recovery." He whispered brushing an invisible tear
away from her cheek. "I'm scared, Harm. What will I do if I never can walk like normal?
What will I do?" Now river flowed. Harm picked her up and pulled her into his lap.
"Hey, what's bringing this on?" He whispered. "I keep having this dream that I never can
walk normal again. I'm alone. You left, they all left. I don't have anyone."
Harm squeezed her slightly and looked into her eyes. "That's where you've got it wrong,
Marine." He said wiping away the wetness. "I'm here now and forever. I'll never leave
you. Believe it or not, you have people here that love and care about you. And know
that they will never leave you."
"I'm just so scared, Harm." Again Harm pulled her near while she cired her fears.
"Sh, it's okay, Sarah."