Disclaimer: Gravitation belongs to Murakami Maki-sama.
Infatuation
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 5 - Sagasu. (To find.)
Blinking my eyes, I softly said, "Yuki..."
But instinctively, I knew it wasn't. I knew everything about that boy. His smell...the way he fell asleep to how he held his coffee cup.
I was only deceiving myself...
Smiling, the face, which I was sure was not my Yuki's at all, looked down on me. "I'm sorry, but I'm not Yuki Ni-chan."
I know...
I know that very well.
Feeling my forehead, Tatsuha commented, "You're sick, Shuichi-san."
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Three days straight." Then, he looked towards the window. "And the rain still hasn't ended.
I looked at him and around the room in silence.
That's right. It should be still raining.
Lifting himself up, I couldn't believe that he had just sat there and had taken care of me all this time. He had laid his arms on his own bed and slept there on the chair...
I had taken so much of my energy and look where it got me? I didn't want to live like this anymore.
I know I wasn't the easiest person to figure out, but I never asked people much. And I never asked what they couldn't give.
I pushed myself to the limit. But this time, I cared. I cared a lot...
Then, I glanced at Tatsuha who happened to be also looking at me at that moment.
"Stop looking at me like that, Tatsuha-san." I scolded as I turned to my side unable to hold my silence any longer.
He's feeling sorry for me. That's why he's so nice to me...
He got up and got me some soup to drink.
And it was then that when I gasped in pain that I realized that I had also twisted my wrist when I fell down the staircase...which was why I had tripped in the rain when I suddenly let go of my bag from the pain...
"I can feed myself." I stubbornly said.
But shaking his head, Tatsuha took the bowl and the spoon to feed me. "You don't seem to realize that you're a very important person, Shuichi-san."
Swallow. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"All this time, you keep on looking at my brother to ask if he needs you." He looked straight at me as he fed me. "But isn't that something you're really asking yourself?"
Geh.
He was good...
I looked down to the blanket in front of me. "I never do anything right...I can't make song lyrics...I can't sing well..."
It was then that Tatsuha put down the soup bowl and suddenly hugged me. "You're so stupid, Shuichi-san."
"Exactly...that's what I've been hearing." I sarcastically answered.
Yuki always made me feel like he never needed me.
He could have lived life without me. So, why does he still keep me around?
Was it because he didn't want to hurt me than he already had? I...I don't understand...
As I blankly looked in front of me, I said, "Tatsuha-san is so warm..."
"You are needed. You don't realize that there are so many people whose lives have changed because this pink genki ball came and shouted at them..." He held me tighter.
I didn't understand why he was holding me though, but I felt very safe there...
It was then that I noticed he had changed my clothes and gave me his own...
Maybe I was too touched...
I don't know...
I really don't know if Yuki would have done that...
It wasn't because on the rebound...
or that I was feeling so much self-pity...
"I didn't hug you that day because you looked like Ryuichi..." he whispered to my ear. Looking at me, we touched forehead to forehead. "I liked you because you were Shuichi."
I looked at him in shock. As he leaned forward to kiss me, I leaned back a bit but as he kissed me, I felt warm all over.
Taking off my shirt, he whispered warmly to ear, "I don't why I love you..."
My eyes opened wider.
Where did that come from?
This was what I had wanted...
I can't describe why or what...
but I had found what I searched for so long...
Something that couldn't be found in Yuki or Hiro...
Kissing Tatsuha back, I closed my eyes and laid my head on the pillow...
I wasn't going to protest...
No, not to something that had been impossible to find...
...myself.
It was then that he whispered, "Why...Why is it that my brother always gets to have what I want first?"
"Yuki?" I couldn't understand a bit...
What are you trying to say, Tatsuha?
"This time...this time I will fight back..." he mumbled as he kissed me even harder on the lips.
I opened my eyes and then closed them again...
This...this is what I had been looking for...
--
Author's note: It's kind of weird, but I hope it's okay...
Infatuation
by Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 5 - Sagasu. (To find.)
Blinking my eyes, I softly said, "Yuki..."
But instinctively, I knew it wasn't. I knew everything about that boy. His smell...the way he fell asleep to how he held his coffee cup.
I was only deceiving myself...
Smiling, the face, which I was sure was not my Yuki's at all, looked down on me. "I'm sorry, but I'm not Yuki Ni-chan."
I know...
I know that very well.
Feeling my forehead, Tatsuha commented, "You're sick, Shuichi-san."
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Three days straight." Then, he looked towards the window. "And the rain still hasn't ended.
I looked at him and around the room in silence.
That's right. It should be still raining.
Lifting himself up, I couldn't believe that he had just sat there and had taken care of me all this time. He had laid his arms on his own bed and slept there on the chair...
I had taken so much of my energy and look where it got me? I didn't want to live like this anymore.
I know I wasn't the easiest person to figure out, but I never asked people much. And I never asked what they couldn't give.
I pushed myself to the limit. But this time, I cared. I cared a lot...
Then, I glanced at Tatsuha who happened to be also looking at me at that moment.
"Stop looking at me like that, Tatsuha-san." I scolded as I turned to my side unable to hold my silence any longer.
He's feeling sorry for me. That's why he's so nice to me...
He got up and got me some soup to drink.
And it was then that when I gasped in pain that I realized that I had also twisted my wrist when I fell down the staircase...which was why I had tripped in the rain when I suddenly let go of my bag from the pain...
"I can feed myself." I stubbornly said.
But shaking his head, Tatsuha took the bowl and the spoon to feed me. "You don't seem to realize that you're a very important person, Shuichi-san."
Swallow. "Huh? What do you mean?"
"All this time, you keep on looking at my brother to ask if he needs you." He looked straight at me as he fed me. "But isn't that something you're really asking yourself?"
Geh.
He was good...
I looked down to the blanket in front of me. "I never do anything right...I can't make song lyrics...I can't sing well..."
It was then that Tatsuha put down the soup bowl and suddenly hugged me. "You're so stupid, Shuichi-san."
"Exactly...that's what I've been hearing." I sarcastically answered.
Yuki always made me feel like he never needed me.
He could have lived life without me. So, why does he still keep me around?
Was it because he didn't want to hurt me than he already had? I...I don't understand...
As I blankly looked in front of me, I said, "Tatsuha-san is so warm..."
"You are needed. You don't realize that there are so many people whose lives have changed because this pink genki ball came and shouted at them..." He held me tighter.
I didn't understand why he was holding me though, but I felt very safe there...
It was then that I noticed he had changed my clothes and gave me his own...
Maybe I was too touched...
I don't know...
I really don't know if Yuki would have done that...
It wasn't because on the rebound...
or that I was feeling so much self-pity...
"I didn't hug you that day because you looked like Ryuichi..." he whispered to my ear. Looking at me, we touched forehead to forehead. "I liked you because you were Shuichi."
I looked at him in shock. As he leaned forward to kiss me, I leaned back a bit but as he kissed me, I felt warm all over.
Taking off my shirt, he whispered warmly to ear, "I don't why I love you..."
My eyes opened wider.
Where did that come from?
This was what I had wanted...
I can't describe why or what...
but I had found what I searched for so long...
Something that couldn't be found in Yuki or Hiro...
Kissing Tatsuha back, I closed my eyes and laid my head on the pillow...
I wasn't going to protest...
No, not to something that had been impossible to find...
...myself.
It was then that he whispered, "Why...Why is it that my brother always gets to have what I want first?"
"Yuki?" I couldn't understand a bit...
What are you trying to say, Tatsuha?
"This time...this time I will fight back..." he mumbled as he kissed me even harder on the lips.
I opened my eyes and then closed them again...
This...this is what I had been looking for...
--
Author's note: It's kind of weird, but I hope it's okay...