It took me some time but here it is: part three. One more to go.
Disclaimers haven't changed yet
Kari's POV:
They took it better than I thought they would. That is if you don't count Ken. Well, I really don't know what I expected him to do but he disappointed me. I guess I wanted him to at least say or do something. It would have been okay if he had been angry or hurt. I wanted him to show that he cares because I know he does. But he just sat there and accepted it. How did he do that? His eyes, always sad and beautiful, showed no trace of emotions at all.
"Kari, are you okay? You look so, you know, so far away. Is something troubling you?"
Davis. He would do everything for me. I know that now. At first I thought he was just trying to use my popularity but when I got to know him better I had to rethink my conclusions. His love is sincere.
"No, I was just daydreaming. Don't worry."
"Oh,.. okay. Well, it's getting late and I promised my mom that I would be at home for dinner. I'll see you at school tomorrow, k?"
"That's okay with me. See you tomorrow."
I watched his retreating form as he ran done the street towards his apartment. My eyes stayed on his face as I stood there on the sidewalk and waved after him. He was smiling. This beautiful smile that I love so much. It's so pure and innocent like a small child's laugh that hasn't yet encountered the cruel reality of life.
As I continued my way towards my own apartment I thought about it. A simple smile could tell you more about people than a million words. You just have to pay some attention and you will be able to look behind the masks everyone is hiding behind. It's not easy to fake a smile without somebody noticing it. Is that the reason why Ken hardly ever smiles? Is he afraid that we might see something we aren't supposed to know?
At least I know that he is capable of laughing. It always feels so good to hear him laugh. I wish he would do it more often but I know that it's pretty hard for him. He, unlike Davis, is no longer an innocent child. His deep blue eyes have seen way too much to just ignore it. I think that's the most important difference between him and Davis. Ken knows what this world can do to you if you let your guard down and show weakness. He had learned it the hard way after the death of his brother. He had lost his childish innocence while Davis still believes. He believes in the people around him. He believes in things like trust, honour, sincerity, and love. He always believes in the possible defeat of evil and darkness. He is so innocent. That's why Ken and I need him that much. We have already lost our innocence but he reminds us that there are still things worth living for. We can't afford to let him go. I can't let him go. I know I am selfish but I need him just like I need Ken.
Ken, the only person who ever understood what I felt deep inside. The one who shares my pain and my anxiety. The one who doesn't pity me who truly loves me.
Yes, I know that he loves me. It's so obvious, at least to me. I don't need the crest of love to know that. I wanted him to admit it but eventually I realized that he is too afraid of hurting and losing Davis or me. He would never risk that.
Even when Davis told them about us did he stay calm. It must have killed him on the inside. It's all my fault. Ken is hurting right now and it's my fault! I did this to him because of my selfish wishes. What have I done?
I stopped and leaned against a house wall. My whole body was trembling and tears threatened to fall. As I leaned against the wall I began to sob. I never intended to hurt any of them but right now Ken was deeply hurt and it was all my fault. I had to do something. Who knows what Ken might do. Now that I destroyed all his hopes. Shattered like dishes on the hard kitchen floor.
I needed help but I had no idea who I could ask for advise. Normally I would talk to Ken so I had to find someone else. I could call TK. He would always listen and then trying to cheer me up. But unfortunately that's not what I needed right now. I needed somebody who could understand my feelings at least a little. Matt came to my mind. I hadn't seen him very often these last month since he was pretty busy with his band and his antisocial attitude didn't help very much either but maybe he could understand me.
Sometimes he was pretty much like Ken and I. He too had learned that this world wasn't as friendly as it looked like. So he was always there to help you with your problems no matter how busy he was.
So I decided to call him. I started running home without bothering to brush the tears from my face. I didn't care what other people might think. Let them see that I was suffering and that it was all my fault. I didn't care at all. Calling Matt and helping Ken was all I could think about as I ran down the street. I hadn't noticed before but it was already getting dark. The moon was up in the sky and sending his gentle light down upon the earth. How could I do this to him? I hurt him badly and now I'm probably going to do the same thing to Davis too.
I flung the apartment door open not bothering to tell my parents or Tai that I was home again. It didn't matter. Nobody was at home anyways.
As I took my pink coat off I heard the phone ringing. I kicked my shoes off and rushed over to the phone. Before I answered it I tried to calm down so that my voice at least sounded normal.
My efforts were in vain as I heard Ken's gentle voice over the line. His calm and almost happy tone startled me. Finally I managed to regain enough composure to answer him.
He wanted me to come over without giving me any further explanations. I needed to talk to him so I agreed and then hung up. I got dressed again and rushed out without leaving a message since I wanted to see Ken as soon as possible.
Now that I'm standing in front of his apartment I hesitate. Perhaps there really is a chance to keep both of them. I'm well aware that this is a foolish and very selfish thought but hope hasn't been destroyed yet. So I gather some courage and try to knock on the door. To my surprise it isn't locked or even closed. As I step trough the open door a strange smell welcomes me. But I don't pay it any attention as I close door behind me.
***
Disclaimers haven't changed yet
Kari's POV:
They took it better than I thought they would. That is if you don't count Ken. Well, I really don't know what I expected him to do but he disappointed me. I guess I wanted him to at least say or do something. It would have been okay if he had been angry or hurt. I wanted him to show that he cares because I know he does. But he just sat there and accepted it. How did he do that? His eyes, always sad and beautiful, showed no trace of emotions at all.
"Kari, are you okay? You look so, you know, so far away. Is something troubling you?"
Davis. He would do everything for me. I know that now. At first I thought he was just trying to use my popularity but when I got to know him better I had to rethink my conclusions. His love is sincere.
"No, I was just daydreaming. Don't worry."
"Oh,.. okay. Well, it's getting late and I promised my mom that I would be at home for dinner. I'll see you at school tomorrow, k?"
"That's okay with me. See you tomorrow."
I watched his retreating form as he ran done the street towards his apartment. My eyes stayed on his face as I stood there on the sidewalk and waved after him. He was smiling. This beautiful smile that I love so much. It's so pure and innocent like a small child's laugh that hasn't yet encountered the cruel reality of life.
As I continued my way towards my own apartment I thought about it. A simple smile could tell you more about people than a million words. You just have to pay some attention and you will be able to look behind the masks everyone is hiding behind. It's not easy to fake a smile without somebody noticing it. Is that the reason why Ken hardly ever smiles? Is he afraid that we might see something we aren't supposed to know?
At least I know that he is capable of laughing. It always feels so good to hear him laugh. I wish he would do it more often but I know that it's pretty hard for him. He, unlike Davis, is no longer an innocent child. His deep blue eyes have seen way too much to just ignore it. I think that's the most important difference between him and Davis. Ken knows what this world can do to you if you let your guard down and show weakness. He had learned it the hard way after the death of his brother. He had lost his childish innocence while Davis still believes. He believes in the people around him. He believes in things like trust, honour, sincerity, and love. He always believes in the possible defeat of evil and darkness. He is so innocent. That's why Ken and I need him that much. We have already lost our innocence but he reminds us that there are still things worth living for. We can't afford to let him go. I can't let him go. I know I am selfish but I need him just like I need Ken.
Ken, the only person who ever understood what I felt deep inside. The one who shares my pain and my anxiety. The one who doesn't pity me who truly loves me.
Yes, I know that he loves me. It's so obvious, at least to me. I don't need the crest of love to know that. I wanted him to admit it but eventually I realized that he is too afraid of hurting and losing Davis or me. He would never risk that.
Even when Davis told them about us did he stay calm. It must have killed him on the inside. It's all my fault. Ken is hurting right now and it's my fault! I did this to him because of my selfish wishes. What have I done?
I stopped and leaned against a house wall. My whole body was trembling and tears threatened to fall. As I leaned against the wall I began to sob. I never intended to hurt any of them but right now Ken was deeply hurt and it was all my fault. I had to do something. Who knows what Ken might do. Now that I destroyed all his hopes. Shattered like dishes on the hard kitchen floor.
I needed help but I had no idea who I could ask for advise. Normally I would talk to Ken so I had to find someone else. I could call TK. He would always listen and then trying to cheer me up. But unfortunately that's not what I needed right now. I needed somebody who could understand my feelings at least a little. Matt came to my mind. I hadn't seen him very often these last month since he was pretty busy with his band and his antisocial attitude didn't help very much either but maybe he could understand me.
Sometimes he was pretty much like Ken and I. He too had learned that this world wasn't as friendly as it looked like. So he was always there to help you with your problems no matter how busy he was.
So I decided to call him. I started running home without bothering to brush the tears from my face. I didn't care what other people might think. Let them see that I was suffering and that it was all my fault. I didn't care at all. Calling Matt and helping Ken was all I could think about as I ran down the street. I hadn't noticed before but it was already getting dark. The moon was up in the sky and sending his gentle light down upon the earth. How could I do this to him? I hurt him badly and now I'm probably going to do the same thing to Davis too.
I flung the apartment door open not bothering to tell my parents or Tai that I was home again. It didn't matter. Nobody was at home anyways.
As I took my pink coat off I heard the phone ringing. I kicked my shoes off and rushed over to the phone. Before I answered it I tried to calm down so that my voice at least sounded normal.
My efforts were in vain as I heard Ken's gentle voice over the line. His calm and almost happy tone startled me. Finally I managed to regain enough composure to answer him.
He wanted me to come over without giving me any further explanations. I needed to talk to him so I agreed and then hung up. I got dressed again and rushed out without leaving a message since I wanted to see Ken as soon as possible.
Now that I'm standing in front of his apartment I hesitate. Perhaps there really is a chance to keep both of them. I'm well aware that this is a foolish and very selfish thought but hope hasn't been destroyed yet. So I gather some courage and try to knock on the door. To my surprise it isn't locked or even closed. As I step trough the open door a strange smell welcomes me. But I don't pay it any attention as I close door behind me.
***