Chapter 6: Inner Fire by Star

Fulton's POV

"Hey Taz." I grab her arm as she shoots past me. If her hair wasn't purple I never would have seen her in the crush of people trying to get out of the school gate.

She grins and leads me out of the crush of people to a space where we can talk and not be trampled.

"I just wanted to say sorry about how I was at lunch," I tell her. It's been bugging me all afternoon. Well, to be honest, I've been trying to work out why Portman and I were so monosyllabic. I thought if I apologized to Taz it might help.

She frowns, trying to work out what I'm talking about, then her face clears. "Oh, that's ok. If you had talked, you would've probably been dragged into our movie argument."

"Yeah, well…" I'm not really sure what to say to that. "Sorry anyway, me and Portman…" I shrug not sure how to explain our mood when I don't know the cause of either.

"Had a lover's tiff?" she asks with a grin.

"What!" I ask a little louder than I meant to. I can feel a hot blush coloring my face.

She giggles. "Jeez, Fult. Lighten up. It was a joke. I wasn't insulting your manly straightness!" She then spots someone over my shoulder. "Maya!" she screams loudly. "Later." She says over her shoulder to me as she bounds off, yelling at the top of her lungs about Meg Ryan before I can even formulate a response.

The silence is driving me mad. It would be better if we had our stereo back, but that's still a big fat no. Portman's engrossed in his homework, and I'm just sitting here staring at the wall. I could work on that geometry paper, but I can't face it.

Taz's words are bugging me. Does everyone think I'm a total homophobe?

I think Portman's got a lot on his mind too because he keeps sighing.

I have to ask just to break the silence. "Dude, what's wrong?"

Portman sighs and looks at me. "Why would something be wrong?"

"You're really quiet. You have been all day. Have I somehow managed to piss you off?" I ask.

He shuts his biology book and turns to face me. "Got bored of talking in circles," he tells me. "Thought I'd wait until we can have a proper conversation."

I raise my eyebrows. He's braver than me to bring up this topic again. Then again, I don't think that was ever in question.

We had yet another thinly veiled chat about Charlie and Adam this morning.

I don't know why I'm having so many problems just saying that I think Charlie and Adam are together. I could pretend I'm all noble and don't want to start rumors, but that's not really it. Maybe if I say they're… gay, that's the word, if I say they're gay, and Portman is actually talking about something else entirely, I'm scared that he'll tell me that I pay far too much attention to these things. Then he'll ask me why.

Except I know Portman, and to be honest, I don't think he'll care.

"So we're talking about Charlie and Adam again?" I ask. Did I just say that out loud?

He gives me a big smile. Yes. I definitely said that out loud.

And he doesn't care.

"How long have you known?" he asks.

I shrug. "I don't know. But I've had my speculations since we started here. You?"

"After those rumors after the Junior Goodwill Games. But it did occur to me that they might be playing up to them. Why did it take so long to say that out loud?" he wonders.

I look at him. "How come I get all the difficult questions? You weren't exactly shouting it from the rooftops either."

"It's probably a good thing too," he jokes. "I don't think Adam or Charlie would appreciate it. Especially if we're way off with this."

"Dean…" Ok, that was scary. I can't remember the last time I used his first name. The look on his face proves that he can't either. "Do you think we're the only ones who have noticed?"

"Probably. I mean, most of the Ducks are wrapped up in their own little worlds most of the time," he says.

I nod. We do get preoccupied with our problems, and despite our motto of 'Ducks fly together' we tend to only really care about what's happening in our own lives.

"Which brings up the question," he says, looking me in the eye. "Why have we noticed?"

I'm so not ready to have this conversation. I consider walking out. I don't. I just sigh deeply and reply. "Why do you think?"

He gets up from his chair and for a moment I think he's going to walk out. Instead he goes to his bedside table and brings out a photo and passes it to me.

In the photo he's sitting next to a guy with black hair, and there's a girl with blonde hair sitting on his lap.

I shrug, unsure of what he's showing me.

"The blonde's Lauren. I was dating her for a few weeks before I came back here. The guy is Mike, her brother."

Again, I'm not getting it.

"Lauren broke up with me because I spent most of my time with Mike," he smiles at me. "I know why I noticed Charlie and Adam, the question is, do you?"

I gawp at him like an idiot. I'm speechless. Totally and utterly.

I really don't know what to say. It's made worse by the fact he's laid his cards on the table and I'm still too scared to do the same.

Instead I croak at him idiotically. I clear my throat. "So Mike's your…"

I don't want the answer to be yes. I don't want him to smile and tell me how wonderful Mike is. I don't want him to be happy with him. I don't want him to be in love with him.

He smiles and shakes his head. "We went out once but…" he shrugs. "No spark. We got on great, but no spark. I just liked being around him."

I smile, relief is probably painted all over my face.

"Have you ever had that spark with anyone?" I hear myself asking.

He gives me a look. "Maybe. What about you?"

"Maybe."