Chapter 11: Starting an Inferno by Victory Thru Tears

Adam's POV

I run away from Portman at the speed of light. If anything, I've been getting a lot of exercise in the past few days, running away from people like that. If only it could make up for my lack of sleep.

I can't believe I let myself slip like that. You were staring at the sky the entire time? I've totally blown my cover. The least I can do is escape before he beats me to a pulp. Portman had a weird tone in his voice, one that makes me think of a serial killer in a movie I'd once seen. I know I'm right—it would have been a crazy idea to tell the Ducks.

I slow my run to a walk. Going past the science area of the school I hear a couple arguing. My attention is sparked upon hearing their words.

"So where were you really, Charlie?" Rat girl has her arms crossed and is scowling at her… my… our boyfriend.

"Banks got sick, and he had to go back to his dorm. I couldn't just leave him alone!" Charlie answers. He looks sincere. It makes me wonder if he ever he ever blatantly lies to me like that. I also notice that I've been demoted from 'Adam' back to 'Banks'. He doesn't even call me an affectionate Banksie. I start to feel guilt for leaving like I did the night before. I haven't talked to him since, even though he came to my dorm. I had made Luis tell him I was asleep.

My concentration returns to their conversation.

"So why weren't the rest of the Ducks together when I saw him?" Linda's anger has eased, but she still looks suspicious.

"I don't know… maybe they figured that they didn't have to stick together if Banks and I weren't there… Linda, I don't know, but please don't be mad… I'm telling you the truth!" Charlie has that worried and innocent look on his face that I know all too well.

"Oh I'm sorry, Charlie…" the Rat was breaking down. "I just thought, well… that there might have been another girl or something."

Oh give me a break. No one's falling for your tricks, Rodent Woman. I'm definitely intrigued by now. I stand with my arms crossed out in the open. Charlie could at any moment turn and see me, and I hope that he will. This is it—he's finally going to tell Linda about 'us'. I see Charlie's tender gaze, and I realize that I'm wrong… he's as much of a coward as I am.

"Don't worry Linda," Charlie says softly. "You're the only girl for me."

I knew it! My once-innocent concern turns to full-fledged rage as their faces meet in a kiss. I can swear that my heart physically breaks. They pull apart, and Charlie looks in my direction. His expression reminds me of mine yesterday, when I saw Fulton at the fireworks. I make sure that he has gotten a good look at me before I take off again.

Only officially going out, huh? Haven't even touched her since that one kiss? Thank you for the heartbreak, Captain Duck.

I don't even feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I see almost all of the Ducks as I storm through the campus. Kenny and Russ are discussing a TV show, Connie's braiding Julie's hair as Guy acts out a scene from Julius Caesar for them, Dwayne rides past on a horse, and Averman is trying to teach Goldberg how to skate. If I weren't been in such an unspeakably horrible mood, I would wonder why Averman of all people is doing this. As I pass them, I notice that none of them even glance twice at me. Ducks Fly Together. Right. I realize I have no one to turn to. All of my friends are wrapped up their own agenda, and my boyfriend is off making out with his girlfriend. Why have I let things get so weird?

I spot Maya and head in her direction. She's sitting on a bench in the middle of the courtyard, a pen and pad of paper in her lap. Her face clouds when she sees me and she stands up in greeting.

"Adam? Is something wrong?" she asks, concern evident by her expression.

"Maya… I… I don't know." My voice is barely over a squeak.

Words cannot express my confusion. I don't want to be gay. I don't want Charlie to be with Linda. I don't want Portman to beat me up. I don't… I just don't want to be me.

I see Portman and Fulton approaching on my right. Charlie's coming from the left. I'm scared to death of what each will do or say. I realize that this is my chance to prove that I am normal. The Bash Brothers will know that I'm not gay, and Charlie will feel the aching pain of payback.

I grab Maya by the shoulders and kiss her.

She pushes my body away from hers. The looks of shock are identical on Charlie, Portman, Fulton, and her face. Maya's brow furrows, and she yells.

"Taz, no!"

She gives me a look to kill. "You complete idiot."

She then takes a leaf out of my book, and starts running.

I feel numerous pairs of eyes on me, and find myself in an even deeper hole than before.