Ranma ½ - Mind Games
A fic by Elijah ( Horowitz
A/N: This is supposed to take place they day after the last manga ends. If you haven't seen the last manga (since, y'know, it doesn't come out until 2008), you can find it translated at the following site: http://ranmascan.dhs.org/ranmascan/. Also, I wrote this with both movies, all the OAV's, and the entire manga series in mind. Feel free to check www.furinkan.com for any references you've missed, as I'm sure they can explain it.
(and now, on with the actual fic)
"Whaddya mean, you're sick?!"
It was a typical Tuesday morning at the Tendo residence…with one exception…
"Oh, come on Ranma –" Akane started, then paused to sneeze. "I'm sick. What more is there to say? Could you do me a favor and get my assignments for me at school?"
"Argh," Ranma replied. "Fine. And here I'd thought a tomboy like you wouldn't have let a little headache get to her…"
Lying in bed, Akane's eyes dilated and a vein popped out in her forehead. "Ranma…"
Suddenly, Soun and Genma appeared. "Akane, getting upset won't help your cold any," advised Soun. Genma cleverly added, "Isn't it time for you to get to school, boy?" and started pushing Ranma out of the door.
"Aw, common pop, what the heck're you doing?" said Ranma as soon as they were outside.
Genma closed his eyes reflectively, then turned to his son. "Ranma, can't you at least grant Akane some rest in her moment of weakness? If not as her fiancé, do it for the honor of the Saotome Anything Goes School –" Unfortunately, Genma was unable to finish his thought, as Ranma gave him an orbit-inducing kick.
"Stupid old man…" Ranma muttered, as he jumped on the fence leading to his school. "He never learns to just stay out of my business."
As Ranma arrived at Furinkan, he noticed that Akane's usual suitors, i.e., every male student of Furinkan HS, weren't present. I wonder, he thought, if they heard about Akane's cold… Hands held behind his head, he walked into his classroom.
"Ah, great…which idiot left the lights off…" Ranma griped, and headed towards the switch. "And I wonder where everyone else is…it's not like them to be as late as me…"
As his hand neared the switch, he felt someone's presence behind him…
"Okay, who are you, and what've you done with my class, huh?" Ranma yelled as he pulled out a spinning roundhouse, flipping on the light at the same time.
The lights came on, and he saw his wiry classmate Gosunkugi standing in front of him, with a footprint on his face. "Sur…surprise…" Gosunkugi managed to get out, before Ranma's kick took full effect and he fell forwards.
Ranma looked up to see all of his classmates staring at him, and a big banner hung across the windows that read "Happy Birthday Ranma!" "Typical," he heard Daisuke say, "He would be paranoid, even at his own school."
"We're lucky he didn't hit one of us, or the sign," added Hiroshi.
Ranma looked around, and indeed, the classroom was decked out with balloons and there was even a giant okonomiyaki with icing on it. "Lemme guess," Ranma said, hand behind his head, "You guys all planned a surprise birthday party for me, right? With all that's been going on lately, I forgot my birthday was today…"
"Perceptive as ever, Ranma."
"Akane? I thought you were sick…?"
"Saotome, you ignoramus, that was part of the surprise."
"And why am I not surprised that you're here, Kuno."
And so it went pretty much all day, the students of Furinkan taking the day to do whatever they wanted, celebrating the day of birth of their hero, the boy who saved them from a Hawaiian principal, a French eating specialist, and some men in tights. Even Kuno gave Ranma a break (not like he needed one), so that everyone could participate equally in the celebrations.
When the school day had ended, and the celebrations concluded, the students gradually left, unwilling to leave such an agreeable vision of their school. On their way back to the dojo, Ranma and Akane were talking about the day's events.
"Did you have to treat Gosunkugi like that, Ranma?"
"Aw, common…how could you blame me? With all the wacky stuff that goes on in our school, it could've been a monster, or worse, the principal. And anyway, you should know by now, never surprise a martial artist."
"Well, even if he had to spend the entire day in the infirmary recovering, I'm glad that everyone else enjoyed themselves."
"So this was really your idea, huh? I'd've never figured someone so uncute could come up with such a great idea."
Akane didn't know whether to hit Ranma or thank him for the complement, so she did neither. Fortunately, the silence didn't get to last long, as Happosai ran across their path. "What a haul, what a haul!"
Ranma stared after him, shook his head, and continued walking. "Uh uh. I'm not gonna let myself get mad at the freak today, no way. I'm just gonna go home and eat a nice, home-cooked meal…"
And so, for once, when Ranma and Akane reached home, neither were physically injured or mentally upset. And the rest of the day progressed calmly. It seemed finally, the Tendos and the Saotomes could have a normal day. Even Happosai didn't cause a problem, as he had drunk a little too much, and was wandering around town with a lampshade on his head.
However, there was one sunken-eyed, pale-skinned student who was more furious than he had ever been before…
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In the Furinkan infirmary, late at night, Gosunkugi's eyes lit up, and glowed an angry, bright red. His voice was just a little too deep, too gravelly. "What strength…if I could only get to that boy…I'd never lose again…"
Then Gosunkugi's voice returned to normal, the glow faded from his eyes. He realized he was laughing maniacally. "Hmm…I must have been having a dream about destroying that evil Saotome! In that case, maybe I should get back to sleep…"
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The next day at school, Akane and Ranma actually arrived early, and, after passing through their normal morning ordeal, entered the school.
"Say Ranma, we should check up on Gosunkugi. Y'know, to see how he's doing and all."
"Geez, Akane, I'm sure he's fine. If he can survive getting hit by lightning, one little kick won't do anything to 'im."
"Even so Ranma, it was you who put him there, remember?"
"Aw, fine, then. But let's make this quick, okay? The little dweeb gives my the creeps."
As they entered the infirmary, Gosunkugi looked up, and grinned maliciously. Here he comes, he thought. This is my chance. He looked intently at Ranma who, being genuinely weirded out by his classmate, leaned against the far wall and stayed there. Curses! Gosunkugi swore to himself. But, if I can't get him directly…
"Hello? Are you okay, Gosunkugi?" Akane peered down at her bedridden classmate, who had been so lost in thought he hadn't been paying attention.
"Oh, Akane…I'm just fine – ah!" Gosunkugi cringed, holding his head.
"Is everything okay? Ranma, look at what you've done. Here, let me…" Akane moved her hands towards where Gosunkugi was holding his head. "Is this where it hurts?"
Gosunkugi grinned again, and Ranma realized that his voice was just a little weird. Kinda deep, kinda rough. Before he could point anything out though, Akane's hand touched Gosunkugi, and suddenly, her eyes sunk, her skin paled, and she collapsed.
"Huh?" cleverly added Gosunkugi, whose eyes seemed to dim a little.
"Akane! What'd you do to her, ya skinny freak!" Within a second, Ranma put Gosunkugi up against the wall and held him there by his collar.
"I…I don't know…what's going on???" stammered Gosunkugi.
Ranma growled, and let Gosunkugi slump to the floor, bewildered and still a little sore from Ranma's kick the previous day. He was reaching to pick Akane up, when he heard Cologne's voice.
"I wouldn't do that, son-in-law."
"Yeah, why's that, old ghoul?"
"Come with me, and all will be revealed."
Picking Akane up and making sure that they didn't touch each other, Cologne bounded out of one of the Furinkan infirmary's windows.
Ranma sighed, and said, "One less day of school can't hurt…", then followed.
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When they both arrived back at the Tendo dojo, they rushed past the meditating Soun and Genma, and back to the actual dojo portion of the house, where Cologne finally released Akane.
Panting, Ranma knelt by Akane's side, turned to Cologne and said, "So, what's this all about anyway, huh?"
Then, panting, Soun arrived, dragging a sleeping Genma, and, upon seeing Akane's gaunt, unconscious form, screamed and started crying. He dropped Genma, waking him up, and ran towards Akane, crying "Akaneeeeee!" Before he could reach her, though, Cologne brought up her staff and blocked his path.
"Not you, either."
"Now, see here, granny. What's the meaning of this, anyway?" the distraught Soun replied.
"If you touch her, the same demon that's possessing your daughter now will move to you. Or, since he'll probably find you unworthy, simply destroy your mind."
This brought Genma fully awake, and he, Ranma, and Soun simply stared, wide-eyed at Cologne and the sickly-looking Akane.
"Wait a sec, how do you know all this?" Ranma inquired suspiciously.
"Actually," Cologne replied, "I'd suspected it for a while. However, when that scrawny boy in your class transferred the demon to Akane, I became sure of it. This demon, psychological in nature, can nonetheless only be transferred physically. You can tell who's possessed by their pale skin and sunken eyes."
"Which Gosunkugi had in the first place! So what does this thing want, anyway?"
"It seeks to rule the world by inhabiting the body of the strongest martial artist on earth and manipulating it so that that person becomes undefeatable. Even though it offends me to be passed over, it seems it's chosen you, son-in-law, as its end host."
"And there's no way to get it out of Akane without touching her?"
"No. And once contact has been made, it has never been defeated."
"Well, Akane…it was nice to know you," Genma said, being over-melodramatic as always.
"What the hell're you talking about, pop?! There's gotta be some way we can help her!"
"The son-in-law is right. Every problem has a solution. It's just that…I don't know if any of us can do it."
"Listen, old ghoul, haven't you learned nothin'? I've beaten everyone I've ever fought! What makes you think this demon thing's gonna be any different?"
"Because this enemy can't be affected by physical attacks. Your normal strategies won't work. Instead of using your physical prowess and your fighting intelligence, you'll have to rely purely on your brain and your heart."
At this point Genma muttered aside to Soun, "Then he really is in trouble."
Overhearing his father, Ranma turned and punched him through the dojo wall. "Yeah? What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
Cologne then tapped Ranma on the head with her staff. "Son-in-law, we have no time for this. We're fortunate the girl is so strong…usually the demon has physical control of its host by now. You'll have to act quickly, or he'll use her body to catch you off-guard."
"Great. So what all do I have to do?"
"This particular demon can only be attacked mentally, as I said. Just use what you know to defeat it. But trust me, son-in-law…it's much harder than I make it sound."
"So I can touch her now, right?"
"You have all the tools to defeat it. All you need is to use them properly."
"Okay then! Here goes nothing!"
Ranma turned and, with one quick glance at Cologne, knelt besides Akane, closed his eyes, and touched her on the forehead with his middle and forefingers.
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When he opened his eyes, he found he was sitting in the same room. Nothing had changed, so far as he could tell. Akane was still pale and still had the same sunken features, and Cologne, Genma, and Soun were staring expectantly at him.
"Well," Cologne said. "I've never heard of this happening. It seems that the demon neither wanted to possess you or drive you mad. It simply ignored you."
Ranma felt a great void start to build up inside his chest. His entire body shivered. "You mean…you mean Akane is…"
"We can't get her back now, boy. You've done all you can."
Ranma's world became hazy and faded. All he could see was the fallen form of Akane, all he could hear was her staggered and ragged breathing. He remembered Cologne's advice: use what you know. What did he know?! All he could think of was Akane, who he had just so recently saved from Saffron, who so recently tried to marry him, finally, who he had finally realized he loved…
He could hear his father calling him…
His father?
Hadn't he broken the dojo wall with his father?
He turned, and, ignoring his father's words, saw that every wall of the dojo was perfectly intact (which, besides being a minor miracle on its own, was completely inaccurate).
He spitefully looked at the apparition of his father, of Soun, of Cologne, and of the fake Akane. How dare you, he addressed the demon. How dare you try to defeat me so easily!! I swear to you, whatever or whoever you are, this game won't last long. I know how you work now.
And, with a scream, Ranma clutched his head – and the dojo exploded around him. He was now floating in a seemingly endless blackness.
WELCOME TO YOUR MIND, FOOL, a voice boomed out. IN ALL MY ETERNITIES OF LIFE IN THIS PLANE, YOU ARE ONLY THE FOURTH TO GET PAST MY MOST ELEMENTARY OF TRICKS. YOU'LL PASS NO FARTHER, I'M AFRAID, HOWEVER.
Suddenly, Ranma found himself in the courtyard in front of Furinkan High.
"Ha!" he yelled aloud. "You think I'm fooled by this? There's no way!"
But before he could focus enough to dispel the image, Kuno appeared before him, sword at the ready.
Ranma looked sideways at the figure conjured from his memory. This thing expects Kuno to beat me? thought Ranma.
Suddenly, next to Kuno appeared Saffron, Mousse, Ryoga, Happosai, and even Kirin. None of them said a word.
NOW THEN, FOOL, PREPARE YOURSELF. AT THE DEFEAT AND DEATH OF YOUR MENTAL SELF, YOUR BODY WILL BE ALL THE EASIER TO FULLY CONTROL.
With that, Ranma's mental foes rushed him at once.
Batting away Kuno's sword and some trinkets Mousse pulled from his shirt, Ranma was caught off-guard by Ryoga's umbrella, and then nearly fell prey to a Happo fire-burst, dodging the explosion by mere centimeters. He rushed at Kuno, landing a solid blow to the midsection, but then was hit from behind by Kirin's deadly chopsticks. After a few more moments of desperate, defensive fighting, Ranma realized that he could never win this battle. So, after dodging another of Happosai's fireworks, he jumped to the top of a nearby tree, and from there through a window and into Furinkan.
If I can just focus enough, I'll get my subconscious to realize this ain't real, just like last time! he thought triumphantly. Then, with another burst of mental effort, he screamed, clutched at his head, and was immediately hit full-on by Ryoga, whose attack flung Ranma over to Kuno, who hit Ranma's defenseless mental body with an upward slash, where finally, Happosai threw another fire burst at him, knocking him smoking and dazed to the ground. No! Ranma screamed to himself. I can't lose now! What techniques do I have that can take on this many skilled opponents at once? The Kashu Tenshin Amaiguriken won't work, and with no cats in sight, I can't use cat-fu! If Happosai weren't here, I could use the hiryu shoten- ha, but he knows it already! There's nothing I can use!
And as his opponents raised their weapons, he remembered.
Use! I have to use what I know! And I know these things aren't real! The old freak doesn't even have his collection with him! And Kuno loves to hear himself talk, he'd never be silent this long!
Thusly inspired, Ranma stood up through the attacks of his enemies, and watched them fade from his mental picture, no longer able to exist under Ranma's logical onslaught. The landscape broke suddenly, cracked like a mirror, then simply ceased to exist.
WELL, BOY, IT SEEMS I WAS WRONG. CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING THE FIRST TO REACH PAST MY SECOND TECHNIQUE, AND ON BECOMING THE FIRST TO FEEL DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF MY THIRD, AND FINAL TECHNIQUE!
Ranma braced himself, dropping into a much more defensive fighting stance than he usually did. For a few moments, nothing happened, as Ranma continued to drift aimlessly in the endless black void that was his opponent's choice of arena.
Then, suddenly and without warning, Ranma was assaulted, battered from every angle, by the most painful memories he'd ever had. From his defeat at the hands of Ryoga and the shishi hokodan, to all the times he was forced to lie to his family and friends, to his horrific childhood cat- fu training, to watching Akane get carried off by Kirin, and finally, holding Akane's limp form in his arms at Jusendo.
LOOK BOY! LOOK AT THE FAILURES OF YOUR LIFE!
Ranma tried running, but no matter which direction his feet led him, he only blundered into another embarrassing, hurtful memory of him at his worst. Then slowly, he started to fight back. Summoning images of himself at his greatest moments, working his opponent's techniques against them. The refined chestnut fist he used against Kirin, his battle against Kodachi. Then he found memories he cherished even more: his mother, weeping for joy just to finally see him. Akane, smiling.
Slowly, he started to regain his mental footing, and found a way to finally fight back against his invisible opponent.
FOOL! his opponent's voice shook Ranma's bones in its volume and intensity. DO YOU THINK I COULD BE SO EASILY DEFEATED?!
With a roar that shocked Ranma so greatly that he nearly passed out, he was faced with the worst possible memories anyone could ever remind him of. Akane, turning away, angry and hurt. Akane, suspicious and jealous. Akane, unwilling to accept him, becoming frustrated with his incompetence, clinging to others. Everywhere he turned, even if he closed his eyes, Akane's baleful gaze assaulted him. He tried to reach out, but was only rebuked: "Pervert! Insensitive JERK! Idiot! Moron!"
Again, Ranma grasped at his head, screaming. But this time, he had no goal but escape. He could hardly concentrate on trying to apologize for everything he'd ever done to his love. He completely forgot any concept of fighting the demon that now threatened to overwhelm him completely.
And, as his eyes ran out of tears to cry, and his mouth stopped forming words, and he felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into an inescapable crater of depression and self-loathing, he heard two voices: the first was that of his now-confident opponent. This voice he heard dimly, as though from a great distance. it's a shame, the voice said. i was hoping for a challenge this one, last time…
The second voice he heard was the often-jovial voice of Shampoo's grandmother: you'll have to rely…on your heart…
And from the bottom of his tortured psyche, a cry of hope awoke. To Ranma, it was a formless thing, a mere yell to symbolize his final victory. But to the demon, who knew how to interpret such mental cries, heard distinctly, "I love you Akane! And I know, I feel, that you love me too! No matter how much you deny it, no matter how much I deny it, we both know it!"
The demon, utterly surprised by Ranma's mental resilience, was struck dumbfounded. How could a child fight back against his ultimate technique?! He was readying another volley of memories to haunt Ranma, to finally defeat the boy that had more than demonstrated his mental strength, a similar cry came from behind the demon. "Ranma! I know!"
And the two cries collided, and built, each strengthening the other, until the demon was faced with a revitalized Ranma in front of it, and an Akane it had never expected to reappear behind it.
Split between two enemies of power now greater than what it possessed, the demon merely stood, battered from every direction from the triumphant mental outcries of two loving fiancés. And Ranma saw Akane through the demon, as if it didn't even exist. Feeling happier than after any of the victories of his life, he started to move towards her. He wasn't sure, but it seemed she was moving towards him as well.
The demon, slowly growing smaller and weaker, was more utterly confused than it had ever been in its long existence. They were both moving towards it! Then it saw the red threads that connected the two, and knew. When the brain fails, the heart takes its stead. Having never fought a martial artist who used his heart so strongly, the demon knew it could not win. And, as Ranma and Akane's hands touched, directly in the middle of the remnant of the demon, it gave a final sigh of failure and a goal nearly won, and ceased to exist.
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Ranma and Akane awoke simultaneously. Ranma still had his fingers where he placed them on her forehead, and, blushing, he withdrew them. "Now, listen, it ain't what…"
His voice trailed off as Akane sat up. He noticed that the sun was setting, and how cute Akane looked in front of the dimmed sunset the dojo walls provided. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and so he turned so his side was facing Akane and simply looked at his crossed legs, poking his fingers together.
He risked another look, and saw that Akane's eyes were watering, and she had a world-weary expression on her face.
"No! No, I'm sorry, Akane. I didn't mean that. I'm really sorry. Akane, I love- -"
"I know, Ranma. Remember? I told you. And you know that I love you too."
Ranma blushed deeply, and looked away. "I…I'm sorry I couldn't say it before…"
Akane simply smiled, squeezed her fiancé's hand, and got up. "So, Ranma, how long d'you think we've been in here, anyway?"
Ranma stood up too. "Well, judging from how the sun's setting, probably a few hours."
In unison, their stomachs growled.
"A few hours too long…" Ranma griped.
"Let's see if Kasumi has dinner ready yet, k?" Akane asked.
Ranma smiled, walked over to the door of the dojo, and opened it for Akane.
"Why Ranma…you learned some manners while I was out!" Akane said jokingly.
Ranma's face darkened, and Akane laughed. "Just kidding!"
Together, they walked into the dining room, to find the rest of the Tendo family and Soun preparing to start their meal.
"Finally, boy! We were starting to get worried about you!" Genma said. "I told them not to worry, though! That if anyone could do it, my Ranma could!"
He was about to continue when Soun interjected, "Saotome, weren't you just saying how if the boy died, you got to eat his dinner?"
They started to argue, but Nabiki then interrupted them. "Listen, daddy, this is no time to fight. I'm sure these two are very hungry. They have been in the dojo for a week."
"A WEEK?!" Akane and Ranma said in unison.
After the excitement had calmed, and dinner had been eaten, the families went to sleep. If anyone noticed the looks Ranma and Akane gave each other during the meal, they didn't say anything about it.
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"Whaddya mean, it worked?!" Ranma yelled at Cologne, after slurping down some ramen.
"Well, son-in-law, no matter what happened to you or the girl, you two couldn't stay focused on how you actually felt for one another. I felt that you just needed a little push, so I released the demon from where it had been sealed for nearly 3,000 years of Chinese Amazon history."
"So…this entire thing…WAS YOUR FAULT?!" Ranma yelled.
"But wait," said Akane. "I thought you wanted Ranma to marry Shampoo. Why would you help us?"
"Oh, Shampoo finally realized that she could be honest with Mousse after you two sent out the invitations for your wedding. She was stuck halfway, though, when the wedding never happened. So, to help her make up her mind, I helped you two get along with the wedding."
"Ah, I see."
"And you're just gonna excuse her 'cause she had a half-decent reason?!"
"Oh, do be quiet, son-in-law."
"But what about Ryoga? Or Kodachi? Or Ukyo?"
"Oh, they'll get over it eventually, if they haven't already. Keep in mind, they did all have to come to grips with themselves after your abandoned wedding plans the first time."
"Yeah, I guess that's right…" Akane replied thoughtfully, as Ranma continued to rage in the background.
And they both finally lived happily ever after.
As for Shampoo and Mousse, their relationship succeeded. It almost failed once, though, when Mousse "gave" his present to Shampoo for her birthday to a trashcan. However, Shampoo realized what she had been doing wrong and bought Mousse some contact lenses. Things worked out fine after that.
As for Ryoga and Akari, they never got married because Ryoga could never find his way to the chapel. But when they did, by chance, meet up, things went wonderfully. And, fortunately for Ryoga, there was almost always a mailbox where he went so, even if he couldn't be with Akari all the time or even get letters from her, he could send them. That was enough for him.
Kodachi, after trying again to marry Ranma DURING Ranma's marriage to Akane, was finally committed to an insane asylum with her brother, Tatewaki.
Ukyo and Konatsu never got married, but became ludicrously wealthy, world-renowned okonomiyaki chefs. Her work always meant more to Ukyo, anyway, and Konatsu didn't really care if they were married, so long as they were together.
Genma and Nodoka never got back together, although Nodoka did visit often, checking to see whether or not she would have to force Genma into hiri kari. Quite frankly, that was more than enough for Genma, but Nodoka was satisfied. She was also overjoyed to attend Ranma and Akane's wedding, and thereupon released him from the honorable suicide agreement.
Dr. Tofu, after proposing to a mailbox, four poles, a tree, and his skeleton Betty, finally managed to ask Kasumi to marry him, which she did. Thankfully, she ended up nothing like his mother, and they lived happily (although in Dr. Tofu's case, clumsily) for the rest of their days.
Nabiki ended up working for the Japanese branch of Microsoft as a sales executive. This position, highly lucrative and utterly morally devoid, was a perfect match for her.
Soun was content with seeing Ranma become one of the world's top martial artists, and knowing that the Anything-Goes School was safe. He continued to let Genma stay at the dojo, and they both played Shogi pretty much 24/7, only stopping to eat.
Happosai and Cologne never got back together, which didn't really bother either of them. However, they did end up staying in the same hospital together for a while: Happosai finally got too old to steal panties, and was seriously injured when a girl's softball team beat him senseless with aluminum baseball bats. Cologne, on the other hand, finally lost a fair fight to Ranma, and was so surprised and proud and ashamed all at the same time that she went into shock. Needless to say, the hospital staff was relieved beyond words when they both left. The hospital's budget department, on the other hand, was not.
And me? I just watched, smiling. I hope you will, too.
A fic by Elijah ( Horowitz
A/N: This is supposed to take place they day after the last manga ends. If you haven't seen the last manga (since, y'know, it doesn't come out until 2008), you can find it translated at the following site: http://ranmascan.dhs.org/ranmascan/. Also, I wrote this with both movies, all the OAV's, and the entire manga series in mind. Feel free to check www.furinkan.com for any references you've missed, as I'm sure they can explain it.
(and now, on with the actual fic)
"Whaddya mean, you're sick?!"
It was a typical Tuesday morning at the Tendo residence…with one exception…
"Oh, come on Ranma –" Akane started, then paused to sneeze. "I'm sick. What more is there to say? Could you do me a favor and get my assignments for me at school?"
"Argh," Ranma replied. "Fine. And here I'd thought a tomboy like you wouldn't have let a little headache get to her…"
Lying in bed, Akane's eyes dilated and a vein popped out in her forehead. "Ranma…"
Suddenly, Soun and Genma appeared. "Akane, getting upset won't help your cold any," advised Soun. Genma cleverly added, "Isn't it time for you to get to school, boy?" and started pushing Ranma out of the door.
"Aw, common pop, what the heck're you doing?" said Ranma as soon as they were outside.
Genma closed his eyes reflectively, then turned to his son. "Ranma, can't you at least grant Akane some rest in her moment of weakness? If not as her fiancé, do it for the honor of the Saotome Anything Goes School –" Unfortunately, Genma was unable to finish his thought, as Ranma gave him an orbit-inducing kick.
"Stupid old man…" Ranma muttered, as he jumped on the fence leading to his school. "He never learns to just stay out of my business."
As Ranma arrived at Furinkan, he noticed that Akane's usual suitors, i.e., every male student of Furinkan HS, weren't present. I wonder, he thought, if they heard about Akane's cold… Hands held behind his head, he walked into his classroom.
"Ah, great…which idiot left the lights off…" Ranma griped, and headed towards the switch. "And I wonder where everyone else is…it's not like them to be as late as me…"
As his hand neared the switch, he felt someone's presence behind him…
"Okay, who are you, and what've you done with my class, huh?" Ranma yelled as he pulled out a spinning roundhouse, flipping on the light at the same time.
The lights came on, and he saw his wiry classmate Gosunkugi standing in front of him, with a footprint on his face. "Sur…surprise…" Gosunkugi managed to get out, before Ranma's kick took full effect and he fell forwards.
Ranma looked up to see all of his classmates staring at him, and a big banner hung across the windows that read "Happy Birthday Ranma!" "Typical," he heard Daisuke say, "He would be paranoid, even at his own school."
"We're lucky he didn't hit one of us, or the sign," added Hiroshi.
Ranma looked around, and indeed, the classroom was decked out with balloons and there was even a giant okonomiyaki with icing on it. "Lemme guess," Ranma said, hand behind his head, "You guys all planned a surprise birthday party for me, right? With all that's been going on lately, I forgot my birthday was today…"
"Perceptive as ever, Ranma."
"Akane? I thought you were sick…?"
"Saotome, you ignoramus, that was part of the surprise."
"And why am I not surprised that you're here, Kuno."
And so it went pretty much all day, the students of Furinkan taking the day to do whatever they wanted, celebrating the day of birth of their hero, the boy who saved them from a Hawaiian principal, a French eating specialist, and some men in tights. Even Kuno gave Ranma a break (not like he needed one), so that everyone could participate equally in the celebrations.
When the school day had ended, and the celebrations concluded, the students gradually left, unwilling to leave such an agreeable vision of their school. On their way back to the dojo, Ranma and Akane were talking about the day's events.
"Did you have to treat Gosunkugi like that, Ranma?"
"Aw, common…how could you blame me? With all the wacky stuff that goes on in our school, it could've been a monster, or worse, the principal. And anyway, you should know by now, never surprise a martial artist."
"Well, even if he had to spend the entire day in the infirmary recovering, I'm glad that everyone else enjoyed themselves."
"So this was really your idea, huh? I'd've never figured someone so uncute could come up with such a great idea."
Akane didn't know whether to hit Ranma or thank him for the complement, so she did neither. Fortunately, the silence didn't get to last long, as Happosai ran across their path. "What a haul, what a haul!"
Ranma stared after him, shook his head, and continued walking. "Uh uh. I'm not gonna let myself get mad at the freak today, no way. I'm just gonna go home and eat a nice, home-cooked meal…"
And so, for once, when Ranma and Akane reached home, neither were physically injured or mentally upset. And the rest of the day progressed calmly. It seemed finally, the Tendos and the Saotomes could have a normal day. Even Happosai didn't cause a problem, as he had drunk a little too much, and was wandering around town with a lampshade on his head.
However, there was one sunken-eyed, pale-skinned student who was more furious than he had ever been before…
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In the Furinkan infirmary, late at night, Gosunkugi's eyes lit up, and glowed an angry, bright red. His voice was just a little too deep, too gravelly. "What strength…if I could only get to that boy…I'd never lose again…"
Then Gosunkugi's voice returned to normal, the glow faded from his eyes. He realized he was laughing maniacally. "Hmm…I must have been having a dream about destroying that evil Saotome! In that case, maybe I should get back to sleep…"
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The next day at school, Akane and Ranma actually arrived early, and, after passing through their normal morning ordeal, entered the school.
"Say Ranma, we should check up on Gosunkugi. Y'know, to see how he's doing and all."
"Geez, Akane, I'm sure he's fine. If he can survive getting hit by lightning, one little kick won't do anything to 'im."
"Even so Ranma, it was you who put him there, remember?"
"Aw, fine, then. But let's make this quick, okay? The little dweeb gives my the creeps."
As they entered the infirmary, Gosunkugi looked up, and grinned maliciously. Here he comes, he thought. This is my chance. He looked intently at Ranma who, being genuinely weirded out by his classmate, leaned against the far wall and stayed there. Curses! Gosunkugi swore to himself. But, if I can't get him directly…
"Hello? Are you okay, Gosunkugi?" Akane peered down at her bedridden classmate, who had been so lost in thought he hadn't been paying attention.
"Oh, Akane…I'm just fine – ah!" Gosunkugi cringed, holding his head.
"Is everything okay? Ranma, look at what you've done. Here, let me…" Akane moved her hands towards where Gosunkugi was holding his head. "Is this where it hurts?"
Gosunkugi grinned again, and Ranma realized that his voice was just a little weird. Kinda deep, kinda rough. Before he could point anything out though, Akane's hand touched Gosunkugi, and suddenly, her eyes sunk, her skin paled, and she collapsed.
"Huh?" cleverly added Gosunkugi, whose eyes seemed to dim a little.
"Akane! What'd you do to her, ya skinny freak!" Within a second, Ranma put Gosunkugi up against the wall and held him there by his collar.
"I…I don't know…what's going on???" stammered Gosunkugi.
Ranma growled, and let Gosunkugi slump to the floor, bewildered and still a little sore from Ranma's kick the previous day. He was reaching to pick Akane up, when he heard Cologne's voice.
"I wouldn't do that, son-in-law."
"Yeah, why's that, old ghoul?"
"Come with me, and all will be revealed."
Picking Akane up and making sure that they didn't touch each other, Cologne bounded out of one of the Furinkan infirmary's windows.
Ranma sighed, and said, "One less day of school can't hurt…", then followed.
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When they both arrived back at the Tendo dojo, they rushed past the meditating Soun and Genma, and back to the actual dojo portion of the house, where Cologne finally released Akane.
Panting, Ranma knelt by Akane's side, turned to Cologne and said, "So, what's this all about anyway, huh?"
Then, panting, Soun arrived, dragging a sleeping Genma, and, upon seeing Akane's gaunt, unconscious form, screamed and started crying. He dropped Genma, waking him up, and ran towards Akane, crying "Akaneeeeee!" Before he could reach her, though, Cologne brought up her staff and blocked his path.
"Not you, either."
"Now, see here, granny. What's the meaning of this, anyway?" the distraught Soun replied.
"If you touch her, the same demon that's possessing your daughter now will move to you. Or, since he'll probably find you unworthy, simply destroy your mind."
This brought Genma fully awake, and he, Ranma, and Soun simply stared, wide-eyed at Cologne and the sickly-looking Akane.
"Wait a sec, how do you know all this?" Ranma inquired suspiciously.
"Actually," Cologne replied, "I'd suspected it for a while. However, when that scrawny boy in your class transferred the demon to Akane, I became sure of it. This demon, psychological in nature, can nonetheless only be transferred physically. You can tell who's possessed by their pale skin and sunken eyes."
"Which Gosunkugi had in the first place! So what does this thing want, anyway?"
"It seeks to rule the world by inhabiting the body of the strongest martial artist on earth and manipulating it so that that person becomes undefeatable. Even though it offends me to be passed over, it seems it's chosen you, son-in-law, as its end host."
"And there's no way to get it out of Akane without touching her?"
"No. And once contact has been made, it has never been defeated."
"Well, Akane…it was nice to know you," Genma said, being over-melodramatic as always.
"What the hell're you talking about, pop?! There's gotta be some way we can help her!"
"The son-in-law is right. Every problem has a solution. It's just that…I don't know if any of us can do it."
"Listen, old ghoul, haven't you learned nothin'? I've beaten everyone I've ever fought! What makes you think this demon thing's gonna be any different?"
"Because this enemy can't be affected by physical attacks. Your normal strategies won't work. Instead of using your physical prowess and your fighting intelligence, you'll have to rely purely on your brain and your heart."
At this point Genma muttered aside to Soun, "Then he really is in trouble."
Overhearing his father, Ranma turned and punched him through the dojo wall. "Yeah? What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
Cologne then tapped Ranma on the head with her staff. "Son-in-law, we have no time for this. We're fortunate the girl is so strong…usually the demon has physical control of its host by now. You'll have to act quickly, or he'll use her body to catch you off-guard."
"Great. So what all do I have to do?"
"This particular demon can only be attacked mentally, as I said. Just use what you know to defeat it. But trust me, son-in-law…it's much harder than I make it sound."
"So I can touch her now, right?"
"You have all the tools to defeat it. All you need is to use them properly."
"Okay then! Here goes nothing!"
Ranma turned and, with one quick glance at Cologne, knelt besides Akane, closed his eyes, and touched her on the forehead with his middle and forefingers.
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When he opened his eyes, he found he was sitting in the same room. Nothing had changed, so far as he could tell. Akane was still pale and still had the same sunken features, and Cologne, Genma, and Soun were staring expectantly at him.
"Well," Cologne said. "I've never heard of this happening. It seems that the demon neither wanted to possess you or drive you mad. It simply ignored you."
Ranma felt a great void start to build up inside his chest. His entire body shivered. "You mean…you mean Akane is…"
"We can't get her back now, boy. You've done all you can."
Ranma's world became hazy and faded. All he could see was the fallen form of Akane, all he could hear was her staggered and ragged breathing. He remembered Cologne's advice: use what you know. What did he know?! All he could think of was Akane, who he had just so recently saved from Saffron, who so recently tried to marry him, finally, who he had finally realized he loved…
He could hear his father calling him…
His father?
Hadn't he broken the dojo wall with his father?
He turned, and, ignoring his father's words, saw that every wall of the dojo was perfectly intact (which, besides being a minor miracle on its own, was completely inaccurate).
He spitefully looked at the apparition of his father, of Soun, of Cologne, and of the fake Akane. How dare you, he addressed the demon. How dare you try to defeat me so easily!! I swear to you, whatever or whoever you are, this game won't last long. I know how you work now.
And, with a scream, Ranma clutched his head – and the dojo exploded around him. He was now floating in a seemingly endless blackness.
WELCOME TO YOUR MIND, FOOL, a voice boomed out. IN ALL MY ETERNITIES OF LIFE IN THIS PLANE, YOU ARE ONLY THE FOURTH TO GET PAST MY MOST ELEMENTARY OF TRICKS. YOU'LL PASS NO FARTHER, I'M AFRAID, HOWEVER.
Suddenly, Ranma found himself in the courtyard in front of Furinkan High.
"Ha!" he yelled aloud. "You think I'm fooled by this? There's no way!"
But before he could focus enough to dispel the image, Kuno appeared before him, sword at the ready.
Ranma looked sideways at the figure conjured from his memory. This thing expects Kuno to beat me? thought Ranma.
Suddenly, next to Kuno appeared Saffron, Mousse, Ryoga, Happosai, and even Kirin. None of them said a word.
NOW THEN, FOOL, PREPARE YOURSELF. AT THE DEFEAT AND DEATH OF YOUR MENTAL SELF, YOUR BODY WILL BE ALL THE EASIER TO FULLY CONTROL.
With that, Ranma's mental foes rushed him at once.
Batting away Kuno's sword and some trinkets Mousse pulled from his shirt, Ranma was caught off-guard by Ryoga's umbrella, and then nearly fell prey to a Happo fire-burst, dodging the explosion by mere centimeters. He rushed at Kuno, landing a solid blow to the midsection, but then was hit from behind by Kirin's deadly chopsticks. After a few more moments of desperate, defensive fighting, Ranma realized that he could never win this battle. So, after dodging another of Happosai's fireworks, he jumped to the top of a nearby tree, and from there through a window and into Furinkan.
If I can just focus enough, I'll get my subconscious to realize this ain't real, just like last time! he thought triumphantly. Then, with another burst of mental effort, he screamed, clutched at his head, and was immediately hit full-on by Ryoga, whose attack flung Ranma over to Kuno, who hit Ranma's defenseless mental body with an upward slash, where finally, Happosai threw another fire burst at him, knocking him smoking and dazed to the ground. No! Ranma screamed to himself. I can't lose now! What techniques do I have that can take on this many skilled opponents at once? The Kashu Tenshin Amaiguriken won't work, and with no cats in sight, I can't use cat-fu! If Happosai weren't here, I could use the hiryu shoten- ha, but he knows it already! There's nothing I can use!
And as his opponents raised their weapons, he remembered.
Use! I have to use what I know! And I know these things aren't real! The old freak doesn't even have his collection with him! And Kuno loves to hear himself talk, he'd never be silent this long!
Thusly inspired, Ranma stood up through the attacks of his enemies, and watched them fade from his mental picture, no longer able to exist under Ranma's logical onslaught. The landscape broke suddenly, cracked like a mirror, then simply ceased to exist.
WELL, BOY, IT SEEMS I WAS WRONG. CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING THE FIRST TO REACH PAST MY SECOND TECHNIQUE, AND ON BECOMING THE FIRST TO FEEL DEFEAT AT THE HANDS OF MY THIRD, AND FINAL TECHNIQUE!
Ranma braced himself, dropping into a much more defensive fighting stance than he usually did. For a few moments, nothing happened, as Ranma continued to drift aimlessly in the endless black void that was his opponent's choice of arena.
Then, suddenly and without warning, Ranma was assaulted, battered from every angle, by the most painful memories he'd ever had. From his defeat at the hands of Ryoga and the shishi hokodan, to all the times he was forced to lie to his family and friends, to his horrific childhood cat- fu training, to watching Akane get carried off by Kirin, and finally, holding Akane's limp form in his arms at Jusendo.
LOOK BOY! LOOK AT THE FAILURES OF YOUR LIFE!
Ranma tried running, but no matter which direction his feet led him, he only blundered into another embarrassing, hurtful memory of him at his worst. Then slowly, he started to fight back. Summoning images of himself at his greatest moments, working his opponent's techniques against them. The refined chestnut fist he used against Kirin, his battle against Kodachi. Then he found memories he cherished even more: his mother, weeping for joy just to finally see him. Akane, smiling.
Slowly, he started to regain his mental footing, and found a way to finally fight back against his invisible opponent.
FOOL! his opponent's voice shook Ranma's bones in its volume and intensity. DO YOU THINK I COULD BE SO EASILY DEFEATED?!
With a roar that shocked Ranma so greatly that he nearly passed out, he was faced with the worst possible memories anyone could ever remind him of. Akane, turning away, angry and hurt. Akane, suspicious and jealous. Akane, unwilling to accept him, becoming frustrated with his incompetence, clinging to others. Everywhere he turned, even if he closed his eyes, Akane's baleful gaze assaulted him. He tried to reach out, but was only rebuked: "Pervert! Insensitive JERK! Idiot! Moron!"
Again, Ranma grasped at his head, screaming. But this time, he had no goal but escape. He could hardly concentrate on trying to apologize for everything he'd ever done to his love. He completely forgot any concept of fighting the demon that now threatened to overwhelm him completely.
And, as his eyes ran out of tears to cry, and his mouth stopped forming words, and he felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into an inescapable crater of depression and self-loathing, he heard two voices: the first was that of his now-confident opponent. This voice he heard dimly, as though from a great distance. it's a shame, the voice said. i was hoping for a challenge this one, last time…
The second voice he heard was the often-jovial voice of Shampoo's grandmother: you'll have to rely…on your heart…
And from the bottom of his tortured psyche, a cry of hope awoke. To Ranma, it was a formless thing, a mere yell to symbolize his final victory. But to the demon, who knew how to interpret such mental cries, heard distinctly, "I love you Akane! And I know, I feel, that you love me too! No matter how much you deny it, no matter how much I deny it, we both know it!"
The demon, utterly surprised by Ranma's mental resilience, was struck dumbfounded. How could a child fight back against his ultimate technique?! He was readying another volley of memories to haunt Ranma, to finally defeat the boy that had more than demonstrated his mental strength, a similar cry came from behind the demon. "Ranma! I know!"
And the two cries collided, and built, each strengthening the other, until the demon was faced with a revitalized Ranma in front of it, and an Akane it had never expected to reappear behind it.
Split between two enemies of power now greater than what it possessed, the demon merely stood, battered from every direction from the triumphant mental outcries of two loving fiancés. And Ranma saw Akane through the demon, as if it didn't even exist. Feeling happier than after any of the victories of his life, he started to move towards her. He wasn't sure, but it seemed she was moving towards him as well.
The demon, slowly growing smaller and weaker, was more utterly confused than it had ever been in its long existence. They were both moving towards it! Then it saw the red threads that connected the two, and knew. When the brain fails, the heart takes its stead. Having never fought a martial artist who used his heart so strongly, the demon knew it could not win. And, as Ranma and Akane's hands touched, directly in the middle of the remnant of the demon, it gave a final sigh of failure and a goal nearly won, and ceased to exist.
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Ranma and Akane awoke simultaneously. Ranma still had his fingers where he placed them on her forehead, and, blushing, he withdrew them. "Now, listen, it ain't what…"
His voice trailed off as Akane sat up. He noticed that the sun was setting, and how cute Akane looked in front of the dimmed sunset the dojo walls provided. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and so he turned so his side was facing Akane and simply looked at his crossed legs, poking his fingers together.
He risked another look, and saw that Akane's eyes were watering, and she had a world-weary expression on her face.
"No! No, I'm sorry, Akane. I didn't mean that. I'm really sorry. Akane, I love- -"
"I know, Ranma. Remember? I told you. And you know that I love you too."
Ranma blushed deeply, and looked away. "I…I'm sorry I couldn't say it before…"
Akane simply smiled, squeezed her fiancé's hand, and got up. "So, Ranma, how long d'you think we've been in here, anyway?"
Ranma stood up too. "Well, judging from how the sun's setting, probably a few hours."
In unison, their stomachs growled.
"A few hours too long…" Ranma griped.
"Let's see if Kasumi has dinner ready yet, k?" Akane asked.
Ranma smiled, walked over to the door of the dojo, and opened it for Akane.
"Why Ranma…you learned some manners while I was out!" Akane said jokingly.
Ranma's face darkened, and Akane laughed. "Just kidding!"
Together, they walked into the dining room, to find the rest of the Tendo family and Soun preparing to start their meal.
"Finally, boy! We were starting to get worried about you!" Genma said. "I told them not to worry, though! That if anyone could do it, my Ranma could!"
He was about to continue when Soun interjected, "Saotome, weren't you just saying how if the boy died, you got to eat his dinner?"
They started to argue, but Nabiki then interrupted them. "Listen, daddy, this is no time to fight. I'm sure these two are very hungry. They have been in the dojo for a week."
"A WEEK?!" Akane and Ranma said in unison.
After the excitement had calmed, and dinner had been eaten, the families went to sleep. If anyone noticed the looks Ranma and Akane gave each other during the meal, they didn't say anything about it.
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"Whaddya mean, it worked?!" Ranma yelled at Cologne, after slurping down some ramen.
"Well, son-in-law, no matter what happened to you or the girl, you two couldn't stay focused on how you actually felt for one another. I felt that you just needed a little push, so I released the demon from where it had been sealed for nearly 3,000 years of Chinese Amazon history."
"So…this entire thing…WAS YOUR FAULT?!" Ranma yelled.
"But wait," said Akane. "I thought you wanted Ranma to marry Shampoo. Why would you help us?"
"Oh, Shampoo finally realized that she could be honest with Mousse after you two sent out the invitations for your wedding. She was stuck halfway, though, when the wedding never happened. So, to help her make up her mind, I helped you two get along with the wedding."
"Ah, I see."
"And you're just gonna excuse her 'cause she had a half-decent reason?!"
"Oh, do be quiet, son-in-law."
"But what about Ryoga? Or Kodachi? Or Ukyo?"
"Oh, they'll get over it eventually, if they haven't already. Keep in mind, they did all have to come to grips with themselves after your abandoned wedding plans the first time."
"Yeah, I guess that's right…" Akane replied thoughtfully, as Ranma continued to rage in the background.
And they both finally lived happily ever after.
As for Shampoo and Mousse, their relationship succeeded. It almost failed once, though, when Mousse "gave" his present to Shampoo for her birthday to a trashcan. However, Shampoo realized what she had been doing wrong and bought Mousse some contact lenses. Things worked out fine after that.
As for Ryoga and Akari, they never got married because Ryoga could never find his way to the chapel. But when they did, by chance, meet up, things went wonderfully. And, fortunately for Ryoga, there was almost always a mailbox where he went so, even if he couldn't be with Akari all the time or even get letters from her, he could send them. That was enough for him.
Kodachi, after trying again to marry Ranma DURING Ranma's marriage to Akane, was finally committed to an insane asylum with her brother, Tatewaki.
Ukyo and Konatsu never got married, but became ludicrously wealthy, world-renowned okonomiyaki chefs. Her work always meant more to Ukyo, anyway, and Konatsu didn't really care if they were married, so long as they were together.
Genma and Nodoka never got back together, although Nodoka did visit often, checking to see whether or not she would have to force Genma into hiri kari. Quite frankly, that was more than enough for Genma, but Nodoka was satisfied. She was also overjoyed to attend Ranma and Akane's wedding, and thereupon released him from the honorable suicide agreement.
Dr. Tofu, after proposing to a mailbox, four poles, a tree, and his skeleton Betty, finally managed to ask Kasumi to marry him, which she did. Thankfully, she ended up nothing like his mother, and they lived happily (although in Dr. Tofu's case, clumsily) for the rest of their days.
Nabiki ended up working for the Japanese branch of Microsoft as a sales executive. This position, highly lucrative and utterly morally devoid, was a perfect match for her.
Soun was content with seeing Ranma become one of the world's top martial artists, and knowing that the Anything-Goes School was safe. He continued to let Genma stay at the dojo, and they both played Shogi pretty much 24/7, only stopping to eat.
Happosai and Cologne never got back together, which didn't really bother either of them. However, they did end up staying in the same hospital together for a while: Happosai finally got too old to steal panties, and was seriously injured when a girl's softball team beat him senseless with aluminum baseball bats. Cologne, on the other hand, finally lost a fair fight to Ranma, and was so surprised and proud and ashamed all at the same time that she went into shock. Needless to say, the hospital staff was relieved beyond words when they both left. The hospital's budget department, on the other hand, was not.
And me? I just watched, smiling. I hope you will, too.