A/N:  Here we go again… How do you guys feel about my version of Remus?  You tell me in a nice little review, will you?  Thanks to all the reviewers!  If you are one of those people who don't review, I have one question for you:  Why don't you?  It makes you one with the whole fanfiction.net community.

Disclaimer:  I own nothing and I admit it.  Don't sue me, although if you did, I would win because of my last little sentence.

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A Trip to the Ranch

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A Day Without Petunia

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               James and Lily were stirred from their sleep by the sound of two pairs of clanking footsteps.  James was first to open his eyes, and he was greeted with the sound of two very irksome voices.  It was Petunia and her friend Yvonne.  They were just now getting back from a day of looking at old and expired make-up.  James and Lily could not afford for Petunia to see them together like this, so they quickly formulated a plan.

               Lily came up with the best idea, which she hurriedly told James.  The couple would have to feign drunkenness- it was the only plausible explanation for them being out with each other so late at night.  Lily began to giggle loudly and James soon joined her.  Petunia would never guess that her sister was tipsy, but Yvonne might.  Lily and James hoped Yvonne wouldn't express her suspicions to Petunia, for they had no further plans of action.

               As the two Muggles rounded the corner, Lily and James found that they didn't need to put on an act for them.  Petunia and Yvonne were apparently being affected by the defective make-up.  If only they had been able to do without make-up, they would never have bought the flawed product.  It was causing Petunia's face to break out in unsightly blotches and Yvonne was developing a series of seemingly painful hives.

               Lily and James were overcome with the sudden urge to bust out with real laughter, so they left to go back to their separate cabins. James walked Lily to her cabin and said goodnight, but not without a short kiss.  He then walked the short distance to his cabin alone, and retired to his bedroom.

               The following morning, Petunia and Yvonne became aware of the side-affects of their new make-up, and refused to show their faces until they were again presentable, in their eyes, at least.  Lily and her friends were ecstatic over this news.  Petunia was nothing more than a nuisance at best, and Yvonne was unnerving because of her extremely non-magic behavior.  Lily and James wouldn't even have to be so secretive because the adult Evanses were not very observant.  Plus, they were thoroughly convinced of the supposed hatred between their youngest daughter and James.

               The friends were currently deciding what to do with their Petunia-free day.  Remus and Bridget amazed Lily by how they acted towards each other.  Had she not seen what she saw they day before, she would never had even guessed they had done anything more than give quick pecks on the cheeks.  She was itching to ask Bridget how long she and Remus had been like that.  By the looks of it, groping and snogging were nothing new to the couple.

               While Lily was lost in her thoughts, Sirius came up with the perfect idea.

               "Why don't we go for a dip in the lake?" he suggested.

               "Grand idea, Sirius!" exclaimed Emily.  She and Sirius had found a beautiful lake the day before that appeared to not be well known.  It looked as if no one had used it for quite some time.

               "What lake?" asked James.

               "Emily and I found a lake yesterday.  It's in a clearing of the forest.  We think that not too many people know about it," explained Sirius.

               "Great," said Lily, "how 'bout all of us change and meet back here in fifteen minutes?"

               "Sounds okay," agreed Bridget.  The others all offered simallar agreements and were soon off to don their swimwear.

               "You know what?" Emily asked Lily on their way back from the cabin.

               "No, what?"

               "I think that there's something going on between Remus and Bridget.  I mean more than they're letting on."

               Lily pulled a face.  She wasn't going to be the one to tell everyone what she and James saw.  "What gives you that idea?  If they ever even freely kissed, they would blush so hard that their faces would catch fire.  Anyway, don't you think Bridget would tell us?"

               "Well to start off, Lily, she's got bandages on her neck."

               "What does that have to do with anything?" Lily asked, although she already knew why.  She was hoping that she could convince Emily that she was just being overly suspicious.

               "While you may proudly your lovely little 'love bites,' I think that Bridget is hiding them.  It looks like sweet, chaste Bridget isn't as innocent as we thought," Diana said teasingly.

               "You really think so?"

               "Of course I do.  We've been talking about her this entire time and she hasn't even looked our way."

               "She's here?  I thought she went on ahead."

               "Lily, she's right next to you."  Lily looked to her left, and there was Bridget, humming to herself with a slight smile on her face.

               Lily poked her friend to pull her out of her daydream.  "Oi you, wake up.  Tell us what's on your mind."

               "Huh?" Bridget said, perplexed.

               "Oh never mind, we're here already."  The three rounded a corner and saw the three boys leaning against the wall of the information building.

               "We're here!" Diana announced.

               "Finally, I was beginning to think that you were designing your suits instead of just putting them on." James greeted Lily with a quick peck on the lips.

               "Ha, ha, ha," she said.  "Very funny James.  Sirius, Emily, lead the way."

               Sirius and Emily led their friends through long, winding paths in the forest on the way to the lake.  Remus wondered if they had gotten everyone lost and were just walking in search of some familiar landmark.  After thirty minutes, which seemed like thirty hours to the group, had passed, they arrived at a clearing.  In the clearing was one of the most beautiful lakes anyone had ever seen.  It was like a smaller version of the Hogwarts lake, but this one wasn't teeming with magical creatures.

               "Oh it's so amazing," Lily breathed.

               Emily was the first to recover from the shock of the lake's beauty.  "Last one in is a grindylow, literally!" she screamed.

               Everyone threw off whatever clothing they had worn over their swimsuits and dashed into the water.  Ironically it was Emily who was last.

               "Emily, you do know what this means, don't you?"

               "I was just joking guys, honest.  I really wouldn't have transfigured you."

               "Oh really," Lily said as she raised her eyebrows, "just like you wouldn't have turned me into a bottle of shampoo?"

               "But Lily!" Emily protested. "Everyone loves shampoo, and wasn't it interesting to feel what a bottle of shampoo feels everyday?"

               "Well I guess you can just feel what a grindylow feels everyday," said Lily with a smirk.  "You do the honors, James."

               James pointed his wand at his girlfriend's friend and muttered a few words under his breath.  Emily opened her mouth to scream, but was stopped from the spell.  Everyone watched as her features turned into those of a grindylow.  She made futile attempts to attack her friends, but she was unfamiliar with the anatomy of a grindylow and stumbled many times.

               "How long do you think we'll keep her like this?" asked Lily as she and James watched Emily lunge herself at Bridget.

               "The curse I used on her only lasts about ten minutes, but I think Emily will have learned her lesson."  Lily laughed.

               "I'm getting away from her before she turns back.  I pity whoever is near her when she's a human again."

               James led her over to a shallow part of the water, away from Emily, and the two started snogging shamelessly. 

Emily, once back in her human form, was out for revenge.  She had already placed an Engorgement Charm on Sirius' head, making it so that his neck couldn't support the weight of his head.  She had dunked Bridget in the lake water, and she bombarded Remus with a horde of fish while he was swimming.  Now it was Lily and James' turn.

She silently crept over to where they were snogging.  She mustered up all of her strength and with a great shove pushed James.  James fell on top of Lily who fell right to the bottom of the lake.  When the two had resurfaced, they both sent Emily death glares.

She lifted her hands up in victory.  "AH HA!  NO ONE MESSES WITH EMILY BONES AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!"  She was so caught up in her victory that she didn't notice Sirius creeping up behind her.  He used his overly large head to ram into Emily.  She lost her balance and fell, face forward, into the lake.

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A/N:  Okay I'm sorry for taking soooooo looooooong on this.  My last post was what? Three months ago?  I feel really bad about that so I tried my hardest to get this out to you, my wonderful reader.

Now, just because you love me so, I think you should review.  In fact, I KNOW you should review.  So review!  Review and I'll be happy as a hippo.