KISS THE STARS - Chapter 3
Max felt tears stinging her eyes. Alec was asleep beside her. She glanced down at him, wrapped the sheet tightly around herself, and put a foot out of his warm bed. Tying to stand as quietly as possible, a hand grabbed her wrist almost immediately. Max met his blue eyes hesitantly, stifling an inward sigh because she knew he could hear as well as she could and she hadn't really thought she'd get away. She opened her mouth to say something but he reached up and put a finger on her lips.
Alec gazed at Max sadly; the scent of her heat was stale now, the pheromones all but gone from the air. It was over. He saw the tears threatening as she gazed down at him.
"Don't say anything," he said gently. She watched him, confusion flashing briefly through her eyes. He sighed. "If you say something then we're going to fight." A few tears spilled down her cheeks and he sat up, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She jerked away.
"Max," he said. "Max." He looked at her. "I'm not your brother." He wanted to make sure that wasn't what was bothering her.
"I know," she bit out. Her eyes said, You're not Logan. He was afraid of that.
"Max-"
"Just don't," she whispered in a tiny voice. She wasn't looking at him. "Please." He watched her stand shakily and gather her clothes, and then she shut herself in his bathroom to get dressed. Alec fell back against his bed and groaned in frustration.
"You said you wouldn't hate me," he told her when she'd emerged fully dressed, still not meeting his eyes and hugging herself as she stood uncomfortably several feet away. Her shirt was torn at the shoulder from where he'd ripped it off.
"I would have said anything to get-" She stopped and his brows lifted.
"Am I that irresistible?" He'd been trying to lighten the mood, but he immediately regretted the comment as her eyes flew to his, anger and pain flashing through them.
"Max," he said. "Look, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry. Neither of us could stop-"
"Just shut up," she whispered; he closed his mouth. She glanced at him after a long silence and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Well," she said finally, agitated. "Go on."
"Uh... okay." He thought it best not to argue with her. "We can pretend it didn't happen if you want, Max. Anything you want. I really am sorry. I didn't mean to wreck everything. You're a friend. My first friend, I guess." He was rambling. "Anyway..." Alec let his breath out, long and hard. "I don't know what else to say. What do you want?"
"I don't know." Her voice was so small.
"Come here," he said softly. She looked at him for a long moment, then gingerly sat on the end of the bed. He moved so he was sitting beside her and her whole body stiffened; she was like a skittish horse ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble.
"It's okay," he said. He put his hand on her shoulder, tried to make it a friendly gesture, even a brotherly one if she wanted it to be, anything but the touch of a lover because he knew that would only scare her off and make her hate him. Despite the camaraderie in his posture her whole body tensed up and she fought him slightly as his other hand coaxed her into his arms. Finally, with a small, barely-audible sigh, she leaned into him, completely exhausted. This was a whole new experience for Alec; usually after spending a night with a woman he largely ignored her in the morning, but with Max his instincts were telling him something very different. With Max, everything he did was different, and he frequently found that he was surprising- and scaring- himself.
"What?" he asked gently. She was crying against his chest. "What's wrong?" Stupid question, Alec, he berated himself immediately.
"It was nice." Her voice was barely there. There was a long pause; had he heard her right?
"Nice," he repeated flatly.
"Yes," she forced. "Nice. Good. I've never... done that with an X5 before." Alec's eyes lifted in surprise.
"Really?" he said. It must have been good, then, he couldn't help thinking.
"Really," she repeated softly. Tears were slipping down his bare chest. Alec didn't understand, didn't know what to do. He had never been trained for this!
"If it was nice, then what's the matter?" It was obviously the wrong thing to say. She pulled back from his arms and stared at him; now she was more angry than sad, which he found relieved him slightly.
"Don't you get it?"
"No," he said honestly. She glared at him and he quickly reconsidered. "I get that I'm not Logan. I get that you regret what we did."
"No, I don't regret it, that's the problem!" she yelled; there was another long silence. "I don't regret it," she finally repeated, low. "It was nice. I liked it."
"Good," he said, smiling at her. She shot off the bed and his grin fell away.
"No, it's not good!" she cried. She paced and he followed her with his eyes. "It's not good, it's bad! I'm supposed to be in love with Logan!" Alec managed to resist the urge to mention the virus before what she'd actually said hit him. What was she saying...?
"What are you saying?" he asked. Now she really wasn't looking at him; her arms were crossed over her chest as she shifted her weight from one foot to another.
"I don't know," she said. "I don't know."
"Max, are you..." He couldn't form the words; he didn't want to form the words. They scared him. He'd thought that she'd just enjoyed the pleasure of what they'd done, but 'I'm supposed to be in love with Logan!' insinuated much more. He tried again. "Are you saying-"
"I don't know what I'm saying," she cut him off, staring at him. She added softly, "I don't know."
A/N: This chapter is short, I know, and I don't think my best writing
ever... I didn't really know where to end it, either, you can probably tell. I
just wanted to get something out there because I'm not sure where I'm going with
it. Suggestions are more than welcome! I might end up abandoning this
experiment, though- just a warning not to get too attached. :) Review
please!!