KISS THE STARS - Chapter 5
The next morning found Alec at one of his least favourite places to visit: Logan's. It wasn't that Alec disliked the guy, there just wasn't much too him. He was ordinary, boring, and he simply could not figure out what women saw in the man- and had told him as much once.
"This better be good," he'd said as he pushed through the front door without knocking. He collapsed onto the man's sofa and smiled, threading his hands behind his head. He turned his head slightly as the front door opened and his smile faded.
"This better be good," Max echoed his earlier remark as she walked into the living room. She halted when she saw him, faltered, then gathered herself and turned to Logan, smiling. She took a seat across the room from Alec in one of Logan's chairs, not meeting the other X5's eyes. This was not lost on Logan, who gave them a strange look and then turned to his computer. Alec stopped himself from rolling his eyes- when was the guy not doing stuff on his computer? His eyes trailed to Max, who was sitting ramrod straight with attentiveness to whatever Logan was saying, obviously only so she could have an excuse to ignore him.
"... it, Alec?" Logan's voice interrupted his thoughts, startling him.
"Uh... what?" he asked sheepishly; Max and Logan exchanged an unimpressed look, annoying him, then Max shot him a glare.
"Pay attention," she hissed. Alec glared right back at her, getting to his feet.
"Hey, you asked me here," he said to Logan, pointedly ignoring Max. "I don't have to sit here and listen to this."
"Alec-" Max called as he turned; he paused, glanced back at her.
"What?"
"I..." Her eyes darted between the two men in the room. "I... I don't know. Never mind. Go."
"Dammit, Max," Alec snapped, not with a raised voice but enough to make her cringe slightly. He turned away once more toward the door.
"Wait, come back," Logan said. Alec obeyed, hanging against the half-wall separating the computer area from the living room, glaring at both of them. "Look," Logan continued. "You two are always fighting and it's always over nothing. I'm sick of it." The two X5s exchanged surprised looks. "Make up," Logan said firmly.
"What?" Max sputtered as Alec grinned.
"I said make up," Logan repeated, dead serious. "Go on, shake on it."
"Yeah, Max, shake on it."
"Shut up, Alec," she said. Then to Logan, "You can't be serious."
"I'm serious. I'm sick of your bickering. You act like children. Now make up." Max, not quite knowing how to react to this, stood awkwardly, her face flushed with both anger and embarrassment, and closed the distance separating her from Alec. He was still grinning.
"Shut up," she said again, though he hadn't said anything. His grin faded slightly and became a smile. She reached down, rolling her eyes as she grabbed his hand, shaking it as he stared at her. His blue eyes bored into her, unnerving her, and she was suddenly lost in his eyes as the two of them shook hands longer than necessary. She forgot everything- the room, what Logan had been talking about, that the other man was even there, everything.
"I'm sorry," she said to Alec, softly. He nodded; the smile was gone now, replaced by a completely serious expression, almost sad.
"I understand," he said; pain flashed through his eyes for a moment and Max found herself extending a hand, touching his hair in a soothing manner. Suddenly she felt Logan's eyes on her back and dropped her hands, letting go of him and turning away. Logan was staring at them.
"What the hell was that?" he asked.
"Nothing," Alec said quickly. "I'm her brother, right?"
"Oh." Logan didn't look convinced. "But I thought-"
"No," Max spoke up, cutting him off. She was standing in the centre of the living room, now looking at neither of them, hugging herself. "Logan, there's something you need to know," she started, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard. Suddenly Alec realized she was going to tell him- everything. Why? Did she expect him to forgive her? Or was she going to break it off? Who did she want, Alec or Logan? Before he could decide what her next words would be, he saw tears gathering in her eyes, of fear for what Logan's reaction would be. As much as he had just started realizing how much he wanted to be with Max, he couldn't stand to see her cry. Alec stepped forward, between Max and Logan, surprising her so she didn't continue with what she'd been about to say.
"Max, can I see you for a second please?" he asked, trying to keep the urgency out of his voice.
"Now?" she hissed. He nodded.
"Yes, now. Outside in the hall." He smiled at Logan. "It'll only be a second." He gave Max a nudge and she headed for the door, going into the hallway outside Logan's apartment. Alec shut the door behind her.
"Hey!" he heard her yell through the closed door, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't break it down since it would cost Logan a fair sum to fix it afterward. "Dammit Alec, what are you doing?"
"Stopping you from wrecking your relationship," he muttered to himself as he walked back toward the living room, disgusted with himself. He hated this new desire to have Max happy even if it didn't suit his interests. It was no fun for him.
"What's going on?" Logan asked when he reentered the room alone, Max's calls echoing behind him, getting angrier and angrier. "What was she going to say to me?"
"Oh, I don't know." He smiled, slightly panicked, thought quickly. "You know Max. Weird. Strange. She's acting kind of-" An idea struck him as he babbled on. "Oh, she's in heat. Or, going into heat. You know, she does that." His smile faded as he sensed a possible flaw in his plan. "You know that, right?" Judging by the unnerved expression Logan was now wearing, Alec guessed that he did.
"Well," Logan said. "Thanks for locking her out. She told me once that she can't control herself when-" He broke off. "Just don't bring her around here. The virus-"
"I won't," Alec promised, smiling to himself at the perfectness of both not having to see Logan anymore and of Max not seeing him for a while either. Maybe this doing things that were good for her was a positive change in his personality after all.
"Wait," Logan called him back, his voice edgy. "Don't go near her either, Alec."
"Oh, I won't," Alec said. But only because I already have, he added to himself. "I'm taking her home to hang with Cindy until this passes. Should be a few days, no more." Logan nodded slowly, sill not quite trusting him. Wise man, Alec thought. But what could he do? He was in change now, not Logan. He smiled to himself. Besides, he thought. A temporary absence from Logan will give us a chance to... talk. Alec rolled his eyes at himself as he let himself out of the apartment- as if talking was all he wanted to do with her.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she yelled as he emerged into the hallway. He took her arm, leading her away from the door, not thinking Logan above eavesdropping. He explained the situation to her as they headed for the stairs.
"So what, I have to pretend I'm in heat now?" she demanded. Alec rolled his eyes at her.
"No, you just have to not go to Logan's for a few days," he told her. "Anyway, where's the thank you? I saved you from destroying your relationship in there, Max."
"I'm sure it'll work out quite well in your favour," she said dryly. He let go of her arm as they entered the staircase, taking them two at a time to get ahead of her. He whirled on her when he was several steps down from her and glared.
"Look, Max, I'm sorry if I'm not good at being nice, but I'm trying, okay! What the hell is your problem?!"
"Don't!" she shouted. "Don't be mad! I'm confused enough without-" A tear slipped down her cheek; her voice was shaking now. She turned toward the wall and whispered, "Please, just don't yell at me." Alec gazed at her, his heart breaking as he realized he was the one who had made her cry, look so miserable. He climbed the steps back to the landing and reached for her.
"Okay," he said, taking her into his arms. "Okay, I'm sorry. It's okay." She clutched at him, sobbing with hardly any sound.
"This is too hard," she whispered into his shoulder. He stifled a sigh.
"I know."
"I don't know what to think," she choked out through her tears. "I don't know what to do."
"What do you want?" he asked. Me or Logan? She hesitated, pulled back from him slightly. His hands came up, brushing her hair from her cheeks and wiping her tears away. New ones replaced them and suddenly, without thinking, he kissed them away, then froze as he realized what he'd done. She was staring at him, wide-eyed.
"Sorry," he said, pulling back, dropping his arms from around her. "I'm not good at this. I don't-"
"It's okay." Her voice was so soft. She took a step toward him, took his hand, squeezed it. He gazed down at their entwined fingers and met her eyes, questioning her without speaking. She shrugged and shifted her weight from one foot to another uncomfortably.
"Max," he said softly. Then, for lack of anything better to add, "Max."
"Alec," she answered, just as soft. He wanted to kiss her but he wasn't sure if that was a good idea right now. They stood there for a full minute, just staring into each other's eyes. Then Max smiled a tiny, hesitant smile and closed the distance between them with one step. Alec's eyes fluttered closed as her lips touched his. They were so soft, so full, and moved so tenderly, hesitantly against his. He deepened the kiss, tangling his tongue with hers, bringing a hand up to barely stroke her face, then her dark hair. After a few more seconds she pulled away, leaving him breathless for more.
"This thing," Max said, then halted, tried again. "This thing between us... It's-" She stopped again, frustrated. "It's..."
"Nice?" Alec said helpfully.
"I was thinking more along the lines of confusing," she said, smiling at him. "But yes, that too." Alec touched her hair.
"Confusing can be exciting," he said gently.
"Exciting can be scary," she countered, her voice soft.
"Scary can be exciting, too," he told her. She smiled.
"Yes," she said. "Exciting." Then her smile faltered slightly as she gazed over his shoulder toward Logan's apartment. Alec stifled a sigh.
"Max..." he began, then trailed off, not knowing what to say. Should he tell her that he wanted her to choose him over Logan, that he thought she'd be so much better with him? Should he tell her he'd do anything to make her happy, more than Logan had ever done, more than anyone else ever had or would? Should he tell her how he felt, that he-
Alec broke his thoughts off, unnerved, shook his head. He didn't want to think about that now, or ever. It scared him too much. Max was gazing at him.
"I-" She stopped, frowned. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't know what to do." He pulled her into his arms again, rubbing a hand soothingly over her back.
"I know," he said. "Neither do I." She pulled back slightly, gazed at him. Then she kissed him, soft and sweet and long. After a moment he gently but reluctantly pushed her away.
"I don't want you to do that because you're confused about Logan," he told her, his voice slightly pained. Max smiled at him and kissed him again.
"I'm not," she said after a moment. "I'm doing this because it feels right." His eyebrows raised in surprise at this.
"Really?"
"Yes." She was getting more certain every moment. "It feels right being with you, because you know, Alec."
"Know?" he asked, confused. She glanced away.
"I've been through so much," she said softly. "I've lost so many people close to me. Sisters, brothers, friends... People tell me they're sorry, that it'll be okay one day, that I should be strong, carry on, everything happens for a reason..." She looked at him; he was staring at her like he didn't understand but desperately wanted to. She took his hand. "None of them ever understood, though. As much as they were trying and as nice as they were to me, they didn't understand. They couldn't." She forced a smile. "We've both lost so much, Alec. You feel the same things I do; you've been through what I have." He glanced away.
"Yes." Soft. She touched his arm.
"It's nice to just be with you and know that you feel what I feel without even having to tell you a thing." He met her eyes hesitantly.
"I don't, though," he said, his voice sad and soft. "I didn't have the family you did. My group wasn't like yours."
"It doesn't matter. You've felt the pain, the fear, the confusion. Neither of us has had a childhood, Alec, no matter how close our groups were or weren't. You come from the place we both called home... But it was never a home. It was just a place of fear and punishment and uncertainty and scared little children." Her voice was bitter. "You do know, better than anyone else around me. You know."
"Maybe," he said, hesitant. "But what does that mean?" Max smiled.
"It means I don't have to tell you. I don't have to because you already understand. I don't have to explain what I'm thinking, how I feel, my history, what it all means... I don't even understand it myself- do you know how hard it is to try to explain it to other people, to feel I always have to?" He gazed at her for a long moment.
"Yes," he said, and slowly smiled. "You're right. I know." He pulled her against him once more, close and warm and comfortable. He heard her sigh as she relaxed into his embrace, all the tension draining away. Something settled into Alec's heart at that sound, something that made him peaceful and calm; belatedly, he realized it was a deep contentment. Alec felt tears stinging his eyes at the new sensation; he hugged Max close to him and smiled into her hair.
A/N: I know, too short... sorry, but, I'm having a bit of a problem- I
don't want Max and Alec to say "I love you" too soon because I dislike romance
fics that have them say it too soon. But now I'm uncertain as to when and under
what circumstances they should say it!! Any thoughts?? Thanks!
:)