Black rose

Chapter 2: The reaction

Told by Severus Snape

As usual I sat at my desk in the office late in the night. I held my head in with my hands and was thinking. Tonight after dinner I had left the Great Hall as fast as I could. It had been difficult for me to stay calm during the dinner. Afterwards I excused myself and said that I had some important work to do. Then I led my hurrying steps towards my office.

Albus had today presented us a new teacher for Defence against the Dark Arts. Her name is Muriel Stern. And she is and Auror! AN AUROR!!!

"Great!" I murmured.

What would happen if she found out I was a Death Eater? What when she recognized my name? What, if she already knew...... if she had come to observe me?

A cold shiver ran down my spine when I thought back to the time when aurors had come to get me for a questioning while Albus Dumbledore was away. That had been in my sixth year in Howarts.

The tortures with the Cruciatus spell together with the Veritaserum which had seemed to dure for hours still brought up an extreme goose-skin on my whole body when I tought back. In that night I had lost the trust in manhood for all times...

I should not think about that otherwise I would not find any sleep during this night.

"Tomorrow I have to speak to Dumbledore," I whispered to myself.

I had to know what it was all about that he gave the job to an auror. Above all as he had asked me four month ago to take up my old place as a Death Eater and spy on Voldemort. He knew what risk it was for me. I had been taken up as a full member of the Death Eaters and had to go on various missions again. As the second in command of Voldemort I simply could not show any weakness and to hesitate would have been my death. They commanded me to torture people or even kill them. On the other side I got information, which saved many lives. But to which price? Night after night nightmares tortured me, during the day it were the feeling of guilty, which wouldn't let me go.

I moaned by only thinking about it and put my head on my arms. What should I do? If the aurors would catch me in a mission, it would probably not be possible for Dumbledore to stand up for me and I would end in Askaban. But on the other side, if he would be able to do something for me, the dark side would be after me. My faith hung in the balance. And now he even took in an auror into our school. I lifted my head and shouted: "Great, really great!"

I had to calm down somehow. I stood up and took the book I bought in the Diagon Alley yesterday, sat into my armchair in front of the fireplace. The golden letters on the black cover seemed to grin at me. The title: Old, forgotten potions.

After a few minutes I gave in and closed the book again. It really was hopeless to concentrate. My thoughts always went back to Muriel Stern.

She was a lovely and delicate woman. She had long blond hair that fell down over her shoulders. Clear deep blue eyes like the sky on a summer's day. "She looks like an angel that came down to earth," I whispered but then I realized again that she was an auror. "An angel of death", I hissed and threw the book against the wall.

I really had to calm down and went to the shelf behind the desk.

With shaking hands I poured in a Glas of "Don Mendo". It was a powerful Spanish Red Wine. The first glass I poured down at once and then took another one. With the bottle in one hand and the glass in the other I went back to the fireplace and sat into my chair.

Already after the second glass I felt a bit better. I took up the glass and looked at the dark red liquid. It was a beautiful incomparable color.

After pouring down the third glass I put it back on the little table beside me. I run my hands through my hair and put my head on my bended knees. Once again I really felt lonely like so often...

At the same time...

Told by Muriel Stern

At last I was in my rooms. I had a cosy office and a lovely bedroom. Both rooms were rather big and had a fireplace in which a warm fire flickered. I stood in front of the bed. "God, is it big." I let myself fall on it backwards – it was soft and comfortable.

It had been a long day and I was really tired. Of course that was also because of the late hour. It was far past midnight, but the time had flown by with the interesting discussions I had had with Professor McGonagall. The teachers seemed to be nice and friendly and all had offered me help. Above all about finding the rooms in this hidge castle. And it was also quite a bit a problem for me that the staircases changed their places from time to time.

"They are bewitched," Professor McGonagall had explained. "The staircases love to get some variety. Therefore they are always in another place. Don't worry Muriel, soon you will get used to it and it won't be a problem anymore."

"I really do hope," I had answered rather in doubts. After that I went to my rooms

So now I lay on my bed and was not able to fall asleep inspite of my tiredness. I thought about Professor Snape. Not as much about his malicious remarks than about his glances. I would have loved to talk to him after dinner, but he had left the Great Hall straight afterwards. Something was strange. But perhaps it was just imagination. "I really need a break," I murmured. As an auror I always had to be alert. I had to see things that other people did not even notice. It was time to go back to normal life and not to expect an attacker behind every shadow. I really had to relax. So I slipped under the blanket and closed my eyes. I loved the big bed and fell asleep.

Two hours later...

Suddenly I startled from my sleep. It took me some minutes to know where I was. My heart was jumping and I was panted. It had just happened again. It was again this dream. Bathed in sweat I lay in my bed and tried to calm down. "It was only a dream, not more. And it's over." I whispered into the darkness. My body shook. This dream always haunted me. It was my last order that I could not get over. This time too I had found my self, surrounded by Death-Eaters. My wand was not there any more and I was helpless, but this I realized from far away. André and Luis lay to my feet and did not move anymore. The inevitable spell had killed them a few seconds ago. We had been cought in an ambush. There were nights I was afraid of falling asleep as I knew this dream would come again.

"André," I whispered, held my hands in front of my face and cried. "No," I said to myself, "you cannot let go now. Pull yourself together!" I knew that some fresh air would do me some good and I got dressed and went out.

Dusk was already coming up and the last stars faded slowly. Through the morningly autumn fog I could not see the lake. But I knew where it was and went straight into that direction. The cool freshness of the morning air came through my clothes and I felt the soft wind. A few minutes later I reached the lake and looked out onto the water. I could not see the other opposite shore as the fog was too thick.

I stood there for some time and loved the quietness. Then suddenly someone behind me cleared his throat. I flung around and held my wand in my hand.

"Not bad your reaction. But shouldn't you be a bit more cautious as an auror?" someone said sarcastic from a bit further away. He too had a wand on me. It was Severus Snape. He sat with his back leaned agains a tree. As he had wet hair I suspected that he had sat there a long time.

"Shouldn't normal people lay in their beds at this time of the day and sleep instead of frightening helpless woman?" I said teasingly.

"Helpless? You? You really make me laugh!" Suddenly his look changed. "Drop your wand at once and don't move too quickly!" he whispered and his eyes glittered coldly.

I felt drops of sweat on my forehead. My hand started shaking and my thoughts turned. What now? He couldn't do me any harm we were colleagues. But I knew he wanted to have my job. So what would he do?

Slowly I let my wand glide into the grass.

"That was a bit easy, wasn't it?" mocked Snape, his wand still showing towards me.

I closed my eyes and fell to the ground.

*********

When I came round I felt that I lay in the wet grass. I opened my eyes and saw that Snape was kneeling beside me and looked at me quite a bit worried.

"Hey," he said softly. "What's wrong with you? I was only joking, I didn't mean to frighten you!"

He stroke back a streak of my hair. I looked into his asking black eyes and stammered: "I...... I......." and at once tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn't intend to but I could do anything against it. The whole exitements of the last days and the little sleep surely contributed to it.

"Don't worry, calm down! Everything is okay," whispered Severus and hold me in his arms.

I don't know how long we stayed there at the lake. Was it for minutes? Was it for hours?

Then he said: "Come Muriel, we really should get back before you catch a cold."

He helped me up and we went in direction of the castle. None of us said a word. As we reached the portal he suddenly said: "Just a moment. That's yours." And he gave me my wand.

"Thanks" I said which he probably did not even hear.

"In half an hour breakfast will be ready. You should change your clothes before someone sees you," he said ernestly and off he went.

I looked down on my and saw that my cloak was dirty. The wet earth along the lake had left its tracks. So I hurryingly went to my office to change.

Afterwards I really felt stupid that I had thought he wanted to kill me down by the lake. But at the moment when Severus held his wand towards me I had seen his eyes. And what I had seen there had frightened me. This man had already killed. There was no doubt about that. He must have done it often. It could not be.... but I had only seen this look in the eyes of Death Eaters, never with someone else. Or was he really just a teacher?

Told by Severus Snape

I sat on my bed. The face buried in my hands. "That cannot be," I moaned. "Why is the faith so bad against me?"

Out by the lake, while kneeling beside her, I recognized her again. I had felt that I knew her from somewhere. The last time I had seen her, she had had dark hair and had been dressed differently. It had of course been the uniform of an auror.

"It really could not be any worse," I thought. Sooner or later she would recognize me.

I let myself fall back onto the bed and thought back of the first time we had met...

It was only four months ago that Voldemort had come back to power and that I began to work as a Death Eater. For me it seemed to be half of eternity.

To show Voldemort my loyality I had to plan tactic and clever attacks and had to fulfil them. It was horribly but I had to do it. If Voldemort found out that I was a spy my life wouldn't be worth a penny.

The most horrible and most deeply shocking attack had taken place three months ago. I had planned the death of a mudblood-family, all of the Ravenclaws, whose name was well known in the ministry of magic. But that wasn't enough. I wanted to show my loyality for all times. So I let come through some information about the attack I had planned. I knew that the ministry would send some of their best aurors to protect the family. That had from the beginning been part of my plan.

Together with twenty cautiously chosen Death Eaters we started...

The family and also the three aurors were caught.

I pressed my eyes together. The memory of that night still made me shiver.

One after the other, beginning with the family, I had tortured with the cruciatus curse and as they kneeled in front of me and begged for mercy I killed them with the inevitable spell. Two of the aurors I had aswell tortured with Cruciatus curse until they were only small shaking wracks. Afterwards I also spoke the Avada Kedavra!

The last living person was an auror. I didn't know her name but her face I will always remember. I still can see her as it had been yesterday...

I went to her. She looked right into my eyes. This look I would never forget. At this moment I knew that I would not kill her. These eyes seemed to look directly into my soul.

I stepped in front of her and saw her tremble, drops of sweat on her forehead. Her lips formed the words: "Please don't!"

I directed my wand on her heart and whispered "Crucio!"

As the Death Eaters then wanted me to kill her I said coldly: "To kill such a beautiful woman without having some fun would really be a shame, wouldn't it?"

The Death Eaters laughed.

"So we will meet in thirty minutes where we planned to. Go now!"

One after the other disappeared and when I was sure they all were away, I kneeled next to her. She seemed to be unconscious. I felt her pulse. It was weak but regularly. Then she opened her eyes.

When she realized who was kneeling beside her she was shocked. No wonder!

"What do you want?" she croaked.

"Ssschhhh, calm. They are gone. Nothing happens to you. So sorry that I had to do it." With these words I got up and stepped away from her. I felt her glance. Slowly I turned and lifted my wand, until it showed exactly to her heart.

"I have no choice!" I whispered and saw her fright and horror. Then I cast the spell.

"Amnesia!"

After taking a deep breath I lifted my wand against heaven invoked the dark mark and left the place where this horrible scenery had taken place.

When I appeared at the meeting point, the dark lord was already there and knew about the success. On this evening I got back my "old" position. I was the second in command of Voldemort and therefore nearly the highest Death Eater. Even Lucius Malfoy was under me.

All exhausted I disappeared to Hogwarts and broke down in the entrance hall...

And now Muriel Stern was a teacher in Hogwarts, the teacher of Defence against the Dark Arts. I really hoped the amnesy spell would hold on...

TBC