Episode 14: "Random Happenings"

(The next few episodes, this one especially, are a takeoff on the old comedy show "Laugh-In." All the cast

members of The Continued Adventures of the Blue Psychedelic yatta yatta yatta are in or around the bus. There's a party going on. As each scene occurs, the camera zooms in on that one particular spot.)

[Scene 1: Miroku & Neko]

Miroku: *sincerely* Neko-sama, I just want you to know that I feel really bad about making Chichiri disappear.

Neko: It's OK, we'll all survive. (Points to the kasa hanging down her back.) And I still have the kasa, so it's like part of him is still with us.

Miroku: *under his breath* You have NO idea . . . .

Neko: Eh?

Miroku: Nan demo nai desu. [It's nothing.] So . . . you're not still mad at me, are you?

Neko: Not really, no.

Miroku: *turning on the charm* Not planning to terminate my existence in some horribly messy and violent way?

Neko: (laughs) No, no, you're OK.

Miroku: *theatrically exaggerated relief* Thank goodness! Big load off my mind! Oh, and now that that's out of the way . . . can I ask you something?

Neko: *hesitantly* I guess . . . .

Miroku: Neko-san, will you reconsider bearing my child, no da? AW DAMNIT!

Neko: *blink blink*

Miroku: Excuse me . . . . (Runs away.)



[Scene 2: Kouga, MJ, Tani, Trin, & IY]

Tani: *to Kouga* So, you just recited the command and . . . (Pantomimes a fall with her hand.) . . . down she goes?

Kouga: *nod* Yeah, it was pretty funny!

MJ: -.-* I didn't think it was so funny . . . . *to Kouga* And I still fully intend to kick your ass!

Kouga: *aloof* You'd never catch me.

MJ: *rotten grin* Gee, when your best tactic is to run like a ninny, it's kinda hard to come up with a good taunt, ne, Kouga-kun?

Kouga: -.-* Who're you calling a "ninny"?

Trin: *before shots are fired* Now guys, let's not disrupt the party with our petty squabbles, ne?

MJ: O.O*** Petty?! This mangy, flea-bitten sonuvabitch . . . literally . . . causes me to plummet out of a tree onto the ground twenty feet below with a great deal of force, resulting in various and sundry physical complaints that will bother me for at least a week, not to mention the severe trauma to my dignity, and I'm being PETTY? (This is said very quickly and all in one breath.)

Trin: O.o; Or not . . . .

IY: How'd you end up with the rosary in the first place? Last I saw, Amiboushi had it. And that's another thing . . . how did any of you guys get the rosary to begin with?

Kouga: *shrug* Our scriptwriter's on crack . . . .

Director/Editor: -.-* I resent that . . . .

IY: Well, you ARE clinically insane.

Director/Editor: Urusai, inu-kodomo. [Shut up, Dog Boy.] Don't make me delete you.

IY: All right, all right . . . .



[Scene 3: WW & K-Chan]

(At the bar.)

WW: *to K-Chan* Oi . . . . (Stares into his glass.)

K-Chan: (sips martini) Nani?

WW: (continues staring into the glass) I've been thinking . . . .

K-Chan: 'Bout what?

WW: I dunno . . . stuff . . . .

K-Chan: *glance* And . . . . ?

WW: Should I dye my hair blonde?

K-Chan: *shock* Huh?!

WW: Never mind . . . . (Throws back shot; falls to the floor as if shoved off his stool.) Wow . . . that stuff's got a kick to it! Barkeep! (Clambers back onto the stool.) 'Nother shot of that Johnny Jump-Up!

K-Chan: *singing* "Oh never, oh never, oh never again . . . if I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten . . . 'cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up . . . after drinkin' a pint of the Johnny Jump-Up!"

WW: You're not funny . . . .
K-Chan: (ignores him; continues singing) "I'll tell you a story that happened to me . . . . "



[Scene 4: Fluffy, Sano, Crystal, Tasuki, Jesse, & Amiboushi]

Crystal: *to Tasuki* So . . . what's your sign?

Tasuki: O.o; A-no . . . (scoots away a few inches) Tachi'irikinshi. [No Trespassing.]

Crystal: *giggle* That's cute! (Lowers voice seductively.) Bet you can't guess what mine is . . . .

Tasuki: *nervous glance to K-Chan at the bar* //Tasukete!// [Help me!] And I'm not really sure I want to, either . . . .

Crystal: Of course you do. (Whispers in his ear.)

Tasuki: O.O; That's . . . um . . . *gulp* interesting . . . .

Crystal: Oh, you don't know the half of it! (Scoots closer.)

Tasuki: (scoots away) Neither do I want to know . . . . I need a drink! (High-tails it over to the bar; sits down next to K-Chan.) Barkeep! Pick the one drink you wouldn't give your worst enemy and give me a double!

K-Chan: *puzzled/concerned* Daijoubu, Tas-chan?

Tasuki: *high nervous voice* Yes, perfectly fine! (Picks up glass.)

WW: I wouldn't do that if I were you . . . .

Tasuki: (throws back his drink in one) Whoa . . . . *dizzy circles* (Sways before toppling to the floor.)

WW: I told you.

(Back to the other group . . . . )

Jesse: *to Fluffy* So, are you a Pokémon?

Fluffy: -.- No . . . .

Jesse: Can I put you in a Pokéball?

Fluffy: -.-* No . . . .

Jesse: Can I pet your tail?

Fluffy: -.-** No . . . .

Jesse: Do you have a doggy collar?
Fluffy: -.-*** No . . . . (Grits teeth.)

Jesse: Do you like to play Fetch?

Fluffy: -.-**** No . . . . (Starting to twitch.)

Jesse: *begging* Can't I PLEASE pet your tail?

Fluffy: *vein pop poppity pop pop pop* NO!!! (Draws Tensaiga and stabs it into the back of the couch, millimeters from Jesse's throat.)

Jesse: Wow! Perfect aim!

Fluffy: What are you talking about? (Yanks sword out of the couch.) I missed. (Puts Tensaiga back into sheath.)

Jesse: O.O;;; (Suddenly, Amiboushi goes flying overhead.)

Amiboushi: KYAAAAAH! (All eyes turn to Sano.)

Sano: *all wide-eyed innocence* What?

[Scene 5: MJ, IY, & Kouga]

MJ: *just finished her rant* Arigatou, Inuyasha-kun, for letting me vent. It's nice to have someone who can relate.

IY: (waves hand dismissively) Oyasui koto desu. [No trouble at all.] (Kouga passes by. He is now wearing the rosary.)

MJ: (eyes gleam evilly; vaguely disturbing smile) Well, well . . . what have we here?

Kouga: *clueless expression* What?

IY: (notices rosary) Man, you're in for it now!

Kouga: Eh? (Sees rosary.) O.O; Uh-oh . . . .

MJ: *as loud as she possibly can* OSUWARI! (Kouga is imbedded in the linoleum.)

Kouga: *THUD* Kuso . . . . *glare* Bitch . . . . (MJ smiles pleasantly and walks away, stepping on Kouga's spine in the process.)





Yes, thank you . . . I AM evil . . . . and he deserved that anyway! Sit ME out of a tree will ya . . . . *grumble grumble promises of painful vengeance upon the flea-bitten . . . never mind*

R&R, visit me, et cetera et cetera . . . . *eye flash hitokiri gold* JUST DO IT!