Crisco the 3rd: Hidden Gnomes, Crouching Peanuts.
By Agent Dalton and Sponge Bob Cow Pants
Rated : goo, I mean PG13, or R. I dont care, but who really cares about the ratings anyway!
Summary: Here we have a beautiful new Crisco story, going once, going twice, SOLD! To the man in the curly locks.
Disclaimer: Here is the distribution sheet:
These belong to Agent Dalton:
Mulder, Russell Crowe, and everything that rhymes with purple.
These belong to Sponge Bob Cow Pants:
Britney Spears, Scully, and everything that rhymes with Uniformnitariunism.
Notecies: Read the bottem for notesies. (whats a notesie?) Email me @ kryptonite423@hotmail.com if you know!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING: THERE IS NO PLOT INCLUDED. YOU MAY PURCHASE ONE FOR $19.99.
One fine afternoon/morning Scully went to go get some custard from the custard shop. Her face was red, she was angry, they had no custard so she decided to go to Blockbuster and look for custard there. They had 50 tons of it, but she she didnt buy any. She was too focused on the manager's butt since he looked like John Goodman.
Scully then decided that she would work on the gnome case. These pesky gnomes are usually located in pants by the name of Mr. Happy. Not that Mr. Happy, you perv. Why are you thinking that???
Then Scully went up to John Goodman and asked him if he knew her sister, just to strike up mutual conversation. He said "Is your sister a piece of culaflower?"
Scully said that she was yes indeed, but a kind of camel. John was very confused.
Scully then called the wicked witch from the west. But it waswnt the wicked witch. It was mother theresa posing as the wicked witch posing as the wicked witch from the bubbler land. They had blacklights there.
The wicked witch said that they guy that looked like Billy Gilman was so hot. Scully disagreed and slapped her on the face through the phone.
Scully then decided to get to business. But first she had to go poop. Scully didnt bring a newspaper or magazine to the bathroom, but a Gladiator DVD and a gluestick to watch it on. Some people.
After she pooped, she called Kersh and asked him if John Goodman could join the elite 4. But Kersh suggested he should go to the store and buy him some hemmerhoid cream.
Scully then went to Grammys in a thong, to accept her award for the song she wrote, called "Woops"
At the parties after the show she saw Christina Have-No-Haira if she has sexually transmitted gnomes. Christina said yes, and told Scully she could have a look-see. Then Britney Spears came over and slapped Christina. Christins then fell down on a piece of cheese and never woke up. Oh Darn (said as sarcasticly as it can be.)
Then Scully went over to Russell Crowe and told him he was very very hot. She asked him if he had gnomes in his pants and asked if she could check. He said she could check. She then looked in his pants on stage in front of everybody in the world. He had no gnomes, but much better things. Russell asked for her number and she gave it to him. They would meet again.
When Scully was walking home she found Mulder selling peanuts at the corner. There were many whispering humans around. Scully went up to Mulder and bought 55.9 peanuts. At first Scully did not notice it was Mulder. But then she noticed his distinct cheek mark Scully then slapped him in the butt and asked him if he wanted to go to the movie Recess: Schools Out. Mulder said yes since he heard that was the biggest make out movie of the year.
After the movie Mulder and Scully went to the grocery store to eat tea and crumpets. While they were feasting Scully told Mulder something very important. She said "Muldy, dear, I am pregnant." Mulder asked whos baby it was. Scully said he would have to wait until the end of this projection film to find out. So stay tuned little kiddies.
Mulder and Scully went to the hospital and they played doctor. She did a physical on him. It was very physical, if you know what I mean...
Since Mulder and Scully were together now, they decided to investigate. Scully imformed Mulder of the Gnome case. Mulder delightfully agreed.
They went to the Nursing Home and found Mary-Kate and Ashley in the intensive care unit for old people.
Muldy then said we have to check them for gnomes. They only found them in Mary-Kate because we all know she is the bad girl of the bunch.
Mulder shot the gnome because the gnome said that Mulder wore girl panties, and they were twisting. Oh poo.
Scully then dragged Mulder to lego land to buy some toothbrushes. The toothbrushes were totally on drugs, so skipped that place.
Do crafts, not drugs!!!
Then they decided to go to Little Russia in Canada. When they got to Canada all the peoples heads flapped when the talked, and they found Gilligans Island.
Ol' Gilligan was too dumb to signal them, so they left on a boat reading "Gilligan.... Gilligan"
Then Scully decided they should get down to business on the gnome business. Skinner wanted a report by March, April, 39, 34.
They went to the gnome factory next. They made gnomes there. Thats what a gnome factory is for. The gnome factory was cluttered with gnomes.
Harry Potter ran in and screamed "PARKING LOT" and ran away. Then he went to go investigate his egg.
They were getting nowhere on the gnome case since it was such a boring case. So, they went to Scully's house and got fricky once again. Scully didnt want to hurt Mulder's feelings, but he was very small in the pants.
Suddenly Mulder and Scully saw Britney Spears accepting an award for most green experience. Russell Crowe jumped up and embraced Britney Spears and the ran to the janitor's closet. He sold her salami there, if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, Scully and Mulder were searching for the lost boys of northern Iraq where the devil lives in a statue with Franklin the turtle. They were having love affairs. So were Adam and Eve.
Bologna.
Mother Theresa then popped up and said yes you heard me bitch.
Mulder then asked Scully whose baby it was. She said no ones, since she was not pregnant! Some people are so blind. She told Mulder that she got Britney Spears, Russell Crowe, and John Goodman pregnant. We are a love triangle with four sides. And you are not included, Mr. Mold.
Mulder to went on a rampage to find all of them. Scully did not know Russell's phone number, so just she just called John. She told him to meet her at the Delta Plex.
When John and Scully got to the Delta Plex they found Britney and Russell in the janitors room talking about dogs.
Suddenly Mulder burst into the closet and Russell ran into the bathroom and turned into Maximus Decimus Meridius from Gladiator. But something was wrong, he had pink ballerina shoes on. He quickly did Swan's Lake and took them off to go and have his vengeance on Mulder in this life or the next.
Maximus cut Mulder's head off with his Gladiator sword. After he was done he put it in the closet for later keeping.
Scully and Britney then embraced John Quincy Adams because he was sooo hot. Then they cheered in joy that Mulder was finally out of the picture in their living room.
Then Britney pushed John on piece of cheese and he never ever got up again.
Now all that was left was Britney, Scully, and Russell. They were very happy now because they had there real triangle of love.
5 months later they went on Ricki Lake to tell about there cheese stealing days in the India Mountains.
Suddenly Crisco popped up and told everyone that Madonna was pregnant once again.
The moral of the story is that if love can't conquer something get a gladiator (preferably Russell Crowe) and Britney Spears.
Notesies: We know this is very, very dumb. We are not dumb, but our stories are. Its not really our fault.
We do like Russell Crowe, Britney Spears, Mulder, and Scully. We dont really like John Goodman, but thats beside the point.
Believe it or not, Agent Dalton is extremely obsessed with Russell Crowe, and you cant separate Sponge Bob Cow Pants from his Britney Spears CD.
And also, I'm a cowboy baby.
By Agent Dalton and Sponge Bob Cow Pants
Rated : goo, I mean PG13, or R. I dont care, but who really cares about the ratings anyway!
Summary: Here we have a beautiful new Crisco story, going once, going twice, SOLD! To the man in the curly locks.
Disclaimer: Here is the distribution sheet:
These belong to Agent Dalton:
Mulder, Russell Crowe, and everything that rhymes with purple.
These belong to Sponge Bob Cow Pants:
Britney Spears, Scully, and everything that rhymes with Uniformnitariunism.
Notecies: Read the bottem for notesies. (whats a notesie?) Email me @ kryptonite423@hotmail.com if you know!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WARNING: THERE IS NO PLOT INCLUDED. YOU MAY PURCHASE ONE FOR $19.99.
One fine afternoon/morning Scully went to go get some custard from the custard shop. Her face was red, she was angry, they had no custard so she decided to go to Blockbuster and look for custard there. They had 50 tons of it, but she she didnt buy any. She was too focused on the manager's butt since he looked like John Goodman.
Scully then decided that she would work on the gnome case. These pesky gnomes are usually located in pants by the name of Mr. Happy. Not that Mr. Happy, you perv. Why are you thinking that???
Then Scully went up to John Goodman and asked him if he knew her sister, just to strike up mutual conversation. He said "Is your sister a piece of culaflower?"
Scully said that she was yes indeed, but a kind of camel. John was very confused.
Scully then called the wicked witch from the west. But it waswnt the wicked witch. It was mother theresa posing as the wicked witch posing as the wicked witch from the bubbler land. They had blacklights there.
The wicked witch said that they guy that looked like Billy Gilman was so hot. Scully disagreed and slapped her on the face through the phone.
Scully then decided to get to business. But first she had to go poop. Scully didnt bring a newspaper or magazine to the bathroom, but a Gladiator DVD and a gluestick to watch it on. Some people.
After she pooped, she called Kersh and asked him if John Goodman could join the elite 4. But Kersh suggested he should go to the store and buy him some hemmerhoid cream.
Scully then went to Grammys in a thong, to accept her award for the song she wrote, called "Woops"
At the parties after the show she saw Christina Have-No-Haira if she has sexually transmitted gnomes. Christina said yes, and told Scully she could have a look-see. Then Britney Spears came over and slapped Christina. Christins then fell down on a piece of cheese and never woke up. Oh Darn (said as sarcasticly as it can be.)
Then Scully went over to Russell Crowe and told him he was very very hot. She asked him if he had gnomes in his pants and asked if she could check. He said she could check. She then looked in his pants on stage in front of everybody in the world. He had no gnomes, but much better things. Russell asked for her number and she gave it to him. They would meet again.
When Scully was walking home she found Mulder selling peanuts at the corner. There were many whispering humans around. Scully went up to Mulder and bought 55.9 peanuts. At first Scully did not notice it was Mulder. But then she noticed his distinct cheek mark Scully then slapped him in the butt and asked him if he wanted to go to the movie Recess: Schools Out. Mulder said yes since he heard that was the biggest make out movie of the year.
After the movie Mulder and Scully went to the grocery store to eat tea and crumpets. While they were feasting Scully told Mulder something very important. She said "Muldy, dear, I am pregnant." Mulder asked whos baby it was. Scully said he would have to wait until the end of this projection film to find out. So stay tuned little kiddies.
Mulder and Scully went to the hospital and they played doctor. She did a physical on him. It was very physical, if you know what I mean...
Since Mulder and Scully were together now, they decided to investigate. Scully imformed Mulder of the Gnome case. Mulder delightfully agreed.
They went to the Nursing Home and found Mary-Kate and Ashley in the intensive care unit for old people.
Muldy then said we have to check them for gnomes. They only found them in Mary-Kate because we all know she is the bad girl of the bunch.
Mulder shot the gnome because the gnome said that Mulder wore girl panties, and they were twisting. Oh poo.
Scully then dragged Mulder to lego land to buy some toothbrushes. The toothbrushes were totally on drugs, so skipped that place.
Do crafts, not drugs!!!
Then they decided to go to Little Russia in Canada. When they got to Canada all the peoples heads flapped when the talked, and they found Gilligans Island.
Ol' Gilligan was too dumb to signal them, so they left on a boat reading "Gilligan.... Gilligan"
Then Scully decided they should get down to business on the gnome business. Skinner wanted a report by March, April, 39, 34.
They went to the gnome factory next. They made gnomes there. Thats what a gnome factory is for. The gnome factory was cluttered with gnomes.
Harry Potter ran in and screamed "PARKING LOT" and ran away. Then he went to go investigate his egg.
They were getting nowhere on the gnome case since it was such a boring case. So, they went to Scully's house and got fricky once again. Scully didnt want to hurt Mulder's feelings, but he was very small in the pants.
Suddenly Mulder and Scully saw Britney Spears accepting an award for most green experience. Russell Crowe jumped up and embraced Britney Spears and the ran to the janitor's closet. He sold her salami there, if you know what I mean.
Meanwhile, Scully and Mulder were searching for the lost boys of northern Iraq where the devil lives in a statue with Franklin the turtle. They were having love affairs. So were Adam and Eve.
Bologna.
Mother Theresa then popped up and said yes you heard me bitch.
Mulder then asked Scully whose baby it was. She said no ones, since she was not pregnant! Some people are so blind. She told Mulder that she got Britney Spears, Russell Crowe, and John Goodman pregnant. We are a love triangle with four sides. And you are not included, Mr. Mold.
Mulder to went on a rampage to find all of them. Scully did not know Russell's phone number, so just she just called John. She told him to meet her at the Delta Plex.
When John and Scully got to the Delta Plex they found Britney and Russell in the janitors room talking about dogs.
Suddenly Mulder burst into the closet and Russell ran into the bathroom and turned into Maximus Decimus Meridius from Gladiator. But something was wrong, he had pink ballerina shoes on. He quickly did Swan's Lake and took them off to go and have his vengeance on Mulder in this life or the next.
Maximus cut Mulder's head off with his Gladiator sword. After he was done he put it in the closet for later keeping.
Scully and Britney then embraced John Quincy Adams because he was sooo hot. Then they cheered in joy that Mulder was finally out of the picture in their living room.
Then Britney pushed John on piece of cheese and he never ever got up again.
Now all that was left was Britney, Scully, and Russell. They were very happy now because they had there real triangle of love.
5 months later they went on Ricki Lake to tell about there cheese stealing days in the India Mountains.
Suddenly Crisco popped up and told everyone that Madonna was pregnant once again.
The moral of the story is that if love can't conquer something get a gladiator (preferably Russell Crowe) and Britney Spears.
Notesies: We know this is very, very dumb. We are not dumb, but our stories are. Its not really our fault.
We do like Russell Crowe, Britney Spears, Mulder, and Scully. We dont really like John Goodman, but thats beside the point.
Believe it or not, Agent Dalton is extremely obsessed with Russell Crowe, and you cant separate Sponge Bob Cow Pants from his Britney Spears CD.
And also, I'm a cowboy baby.