Miboshi: Sansele does not own Fushigi Yuugi.
Tasuki: Why is a &^%#*@ freak like that doing the disclaimers?
Sansele: One Seiryuu and one Suzaku seishi will be chosen each time to do the disclaimer and the end for each chapter, okay? And chapters are only uploaded after reviews...
Chichiri: Hint, hint, no da!
Sansele: How come you're here? It's Miboshi's turn for disclaimers...
Miboshi: Exactly. I'm so hurt.
Sansele: ~_~; Let's continue with the fic...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Next Day...
(All seishi and Sansele in room.)
Sansele: Okay...one thousand dollars...five hundred over applications for loans...
Tamahome: Please, oh please, share the money with me!!
(Miaka's eyes fill with tears.)
Miaka: Tamahome, you feel that I am not worthy of you! You prefer money!
Tamahome: No, Miaka! I need money to care for you!
Miaka: Oh Tamahome!
Tamahome: Miaka!
Miaka: Tamahome!
Tamahome: Mia...
Tasuki: LEKKA SHINEN!
Sansele: Thanks, Tasuki.
Tasuki: Heh, heh...
Nuriko: So who's being loaned out the most?
Sansele: Okay, we have applications for Tasuki, Chichiri, Nakago, Amiboshi, and Nuriko. Oh, and Yui?
Yui: (suspiciously) Yes?
Sansele: Do you think you can part with Suboshi for two hours?
Yui: No! My poor Suboshi, at the mercy of the evil hentai fan-girls! The horror, the anguish!
Suboshi: Oh Yui-sama, you care about me!
Sansele: Fine, fine. I suppose we will have to disappoint some girls. (Looks down list) You know that it's bad enough having this loaning thing, right?
(All seishi nod and look hopeful.)
Sansele: May you all be reminded that Tamahome also offered free whipped cream.
Seishi: NOOOOO!
(Attempts to kill Tamahome in many, many, different ways.)
Sansele: Oooh...there's an application for Tomo as well.
(Disbelievingly)
Tamahome: No way.
Nakago: Him?
Tasuki: Tomo the Homo?
Nuriko: The psycho?
Chiriko: The completely insane, horribly disfigured creature?
(Tomo bursts into tears.)
Sansele: In order to prove that people are sane...(takes out bottle and gives it to Tomo)
Tomo: What's this? (Looks at label) Make-up remover?
Sansele: Yes, Tomo. Go into the bathroom and wash your face with this. I'm tired of people insisting that you're just a freak.
Tomo: Okay...
(Tomo goes off)
Sansele: Oh, there are some people who were not asked for. Hmmm... Ashitaire, Miboshi, Mitsukake, Chiriko and... Soi?!
Soi: Never mind, I would only reserve my affections for Nakago anyway...
Chiriko: I can stay here and read your classical collection. I borrowed 'Sense and Sensibility' for a while, by the way.
Ashitaire: Excellent, old chap! Which reminds me, we must continue that debate on the works of Shakespeare.
Chiriko: Anytime, my friend, anytime.
Tasuki: Sansele?
Sansele: Yeah?
Chichiri: Do these people like yaoi, na no da?
Sansele: Oh! I didn't think of that...
Nuriko: Never mind, Sansele! I can have my beloved Hotohori!
(Nuriko glomps Hotohori.)
Hotohori: This is hardly appropriate behaviour...
Mitsukake: You know, Miaka, Tamahome, Yui and Suboshi have been rather quiet?
Sansele: True, true.
(All of them see Miaka and Tamahome's heads poking out from behind the couch, and Yui and Suboshi attempting to make out quietly.)
Sansele: Ahem!
(Still making out.)
Sansele: AHEM!
(All four look up angrily.)
Sansele: Can all of you at least go into the bedroom? It's very disturbing...
(The couples rush to the room in various states of undress.)
Chichiri: Mitsukake! You spoke, no da!
Mitsukake: Yes, I only speak on important occasions. Like when the rating of this fic is getting higher than it should be.
Sansele: Ah, then thanks very much. In return, I will ensure that there is at least one person who wants to loan you out!
Mitsukake: Okay...
(Tomo finally comes out from bathroom.)
Tomo: Here's your bottle, Sansele.
(All seishi catch sight of him.)
Tamahome: What?!
Chichiri: DAAAAA!
Tasuki: It can't be...
Hotohori: There is no possibility...
Soi: I knew not what I was up against...
Nuriko: He's a bishounen!
Tomo: Are they all insane, Sansele?
Sansele: Nah, merely driven nuts by your utter attractiveness.
Tomo: Oh.
Nuriko: Oh?! OH?! He's hot!
Sansele: Nuriko...
Nuriko: He's mine!
Sansele: He's a Seiryuu seishi!
Chichiri: Good point, no da.
Nuriko: But we have all been able to stay together for so long! Our relations are better!
Chichiri: Yet another good point, na no da.
(Nuriko chases a very frightened Tomo round the room, while all the others sweatdrop.)
Sansele: Well. Tasuki, Chichiri, Hotohori, see me afterwards. Your loaning times need to
be discussed, since they start tomorrow.
Tasuki: What the &^%$*#!
Chichiri: It's too soon, na no da!
Hotohori: TOMORROW? But I have an appointment at the hairdresser's!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sansele: Okay, Chiriko, it's the end. Read your script.
Chiriko: *Sigh.
Will Hotohori go for his hairdressing appointment or get loaned out?
Will Nuriko and Tomo fall passionately in love?
Will Tasuki and Chichiri get forced into a yaoi relationship by the hentai fan-girls?
Will there be fish and chips for lunch?
(Tama-neko: Miaow!)
Tune in for the next episode of 'Seishi for Loan'!
Sansele: Exactly!
Chiriko: (to self) Why me?
Sansele: Because you're kawaii!
(To fan-girls) Chiriko for two hours! Your homework and research done with no questions asked. 100% correct! Don't hesitate! Loan NOW!
Chiriko: Alas, alack.