LORD OF THE FURBY'S
PART ONE: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FURBY
By: Sarah Baggins and Owen Brandybuck
March 28-29, 2002
DISCLAIMER: We don't own LOTR or any of the characters and blah blah blah….
One sunny day in the shire, Frodo Baggins was walking along the dirt road when all of a sudden a furby rolled into the road squawking, "SHIRE...BAGGINS!"
Frodo's eyes widened impossibly and he said, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Then put the ring on his finger to avoid the scary furby. Then he tripped over his own feet.....AGAIN.
Frodo got up off the ground and dusted himself off, then ran over to the furby and slammed it up against the fence. "WHO SENT YOU!" he yelled. The evil furby just clucked at him, bit his finger, and ran away.
"OW!" Frodo wailed. It was one of SAURON'S Furby's! Programmed to irritate anyone who possessed the One Ring. He knew what he must do. He had to leave the shire. If the other hobbits knew it was he who unleashed the furby horror into the shire he'd be strung up and beaten. So he went to find Sam and they set out on a furby evading quest.
He found Samwise Gamgee running out of Farmer Maggot's field carrying a load of carrots and celery. "Why are you stealing from Farmer Maggot," Frodo exclaimed, "you know he'll skin you alive if he catches you with his prized carrots! Sam tried to explain it wasn't he who stole the carrots, when Farmer Maggot's angry voice startled them.
"Run!!!" Suddenly Frodo was bowled over by Merry and Pippin, "Merry! It's Frodo!" Pippin exclaimed with an impossibly cute accent. "I really don't give a shit, Pip!" Merry said. "I think Farmer Maggot's got a shotgun!" "What the hell is that?" Frodo asked. "I don't care to stick around to find out!" Merry said and they started running again. Suddenly, Owen Wilson's character from Behind Enemy Lines appeared. "Who the hell are you?" Frodo said, impossibly confused. "No time for that now....MUST KEEP RUNNING!!!" He ran off. Suddenly, a cliff appeared from out of nowhere and they all fell into oblivion.
Luckily, that oblivion was the Brandywine River, and after being carried downstream for a bit they all ended up in a pile on the shore. Frodo walked over to the stranger that led them off the cliff in the first place and held a sword to the man's throat. "WHO SENT YOU!" he yelled. The stranger pushed Frodo off of him and got up. "I was sent here to help you get the bastard Furby's! Now instead of sitting around getting to know each other I think we need to keep running!!" With that he took off at top speed, leaving the 4 confused hobbits no choice but to run after him.
"Merry, where are we going?" "I don't know, Pip." "Do you think there's food where we're going?" "I don't know, Pip." "Do you think..." "PIPPIN! You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you." "Sorry...."
They ended up at Rivendell where they picked up a silver haired Legolas. The stranger, known as Burnett, wanted to keep running but the hobbits, especially Pippin, wanted to take a break and get some rest and most importantly, something to eat.
They finished eating and resumed running. They ended up eventually on a large snow covered mountain, where they found, much to Burnett's disappointment, that running was next to impossible, except to Legolas who seemed to have the annoying ability to walk nimbly over the snow. They cursed him silently. "A shadow and a threat is growing in my mind. We should not linger." Legolas said cryptically to nobody in particular. They ignored him because elves are never right. All of a sudden half the mountain was dumped on top of their heads. Fuck. Stupid elf.
They dug themselves out of the snow and saw 2 little black Furby's peeking down at them from the summit of the mountain. Burnett thought of shooting them, but then he realized he was just a pilot with no actual artillery. Frodo was badly shaken, and Sam took this moment of weakness as an invitation to wrap his arms around him and kiss the side of his neck. Frodo spun around sharply. "What the hell are you doing you twisted bastard!" he yelled, and shoved Sam off the side of the mountain. They moved on and eventually came to green grass once again. Burnett was actually tired so he fell asleep near a creek, while Legolas was teaching Merry how to use a bow and arrow. All of a sudden a loud squawking noise was heard echoing through the valley. They turned and saw 9 black Furby's coming towards them, an angry flare in their beady little eyes. "Ringwraiths!" shouted Frodo as they ran for the cave at the top of the hill.
"No! Not the Mines of Furbia! It's too perilous!" shouted Gandalf, who had been there the whole time but nobody noticed. "Oh come on," Frodo coaxed, "We're all signed on to be in the next 2 movies anyway. What's it gonna hurt?"
"You have a point there." Gandalf said. "NO TIME TO TALK! WE HAVE TO RUN!!!!" Burnett screamed. "What's with this guy and running?" Pippin asked. "Not a clue, Pip." Merry replied.
They reached the mines of Furbia and to their horror the floor was littered with bodies of victims of vicious furby attacks.
Burnett was forced to slow down to a jog, as Gandalf wanted to be the first to throw himself into immediate danger. Pippin was whining about wanting food, and Frodo was telling him where to shove it. All of a sudden as they were crossing a bridge they heard a deafening shriek. Gandalf hurried everyone to the other side and turned to face the dreaded fire breathing furby devil "Save yourselves!" Gandalf yelled to the others as he ran toward the six-inch tall beast. The furby saw it coming and just wasn't having it. He shrieked so loud the bridge cracked and he and Gandalf plummeted into the gaping abyss. Everyone watched in horror as Gandalf fell, yelling, "This wasn't in the contract! You don't come back from thiiiiiiiiiiiis!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Frodo screamed, as Burnett who carried him out of there picked him up. Pippin and Merry followed.
Oh yeah, and Legolas, flipping his hair, sexily as he ran. They emerged outside and the hobbits proceeded to have a teary cuddle-fest, much to Burnett's disgust.
They finally got to the jagged cliffs of Mordor, where Burnett left them. "Good luck hobbits and elf, I'll see you again soon!" he ran off yelling "WIIIILSON!" "What a queer fellow, " said Merry.
Legolas sniffed. "Good riddance to bad rubbish...well come on then let's go! We have a sequel to do!"
What would await them in the fiery pits of Mordor?????? THE SUSPENSE BUILDS IMMENSELY!!!!
PART ONE: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FURBY
By: Sarah Baggins and Owen Brandybuck
March 28-29, 2002
DISCLAIMER: We don't own LOTR or any of the characters and blah blah blah….
One sunny day in the shire, Frodo Baggins was walking along the dirt road when all of a sudden a furby rolled into the road squawking, "SHIRE...BAGGINS!"
Frodo's eyes widened impossibly and he said, "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Then put the ring on his finger to avoid the scary furby. Then he tripped over his own feet.....AGAIN.
Frodo got up off the ground and dusted himself off, then ran over to the furby and slammed it up against the fence. "WHO SENT YOU!" he yelled. The evil furby just clucked at him, bit his finger, and ran away.
"OW!" Frodo wailed. It was one of SAURON'S Furby's! Programmed to irritate anyone who possessed the One Ring. He knew what he must do. He had to leave the shire. If the other hobbits knew it was he who unleashed the furby horror into the shire he'd be strung up and beaten. So he went to find Sam and they set out on a furby evading quest.
He found Samwise Gamgee running out of Farmer Maggot's field carrying a load of carrots and celery. "Why are you stealing from Farmer Maggot," Frodo exclaimed, "you know he'll skin you alive if he catches you with his prized carrots! Sam tried to explain it wasn't he who stole the carrots, when Farmer Maggot's angry voice startled them.
"Run!!!" Suddenly Frodo was bowled over by Merry and Pippin, "Merry! It's Frodo!" Pippin exclaimed with an impossibly cute accent. "I really don't give a shit, Pip!" Merry said. "I think Farmer Maggot's got a shotgun!" "What the hell is that?" Frodo asked. "I don't care to stick around to find out!" Merry said and they started running again. Suddenly, Owen Wilson's character from Behind Enemy Lines appeared. "Who the hell are you?" Frodo said, impossibly confused. "No time for that now....MUST KEEP RUNNING!!!" He ran off. Suddenly, a cliff appeared from out of nowhere and they all fell into oblivion.
Luckily, that oblivion was the Brandywine River, and after being carried downstream for a bit they all ended up in a pile on the shore. Frodo walked over to the stranger that led them off the cliff in the first place and held a sword to the man's throat. "WHO SENT YOU!" he yelled. The stranger pushed Frodo off of him and got up. "I was sent here to help you get the bastard Furby's! Now instead of sitting around getting to know each other I think we need to keep running!!" With that he took off at top speed, leaving the 4 confused hobbits no choice but to run after him.
"Merry, where are we going?" "I don't know, Pip." "Do you think there's food where we're going?" "I don't know, Pip." "Do you think..." "PIPPIN! You ask me one more question and I'm beating the shit out of you." "Sorry...."
They ended up at Rivendell where they picked up a silver haired Legolas. The stranger, known as Burnett, wanted to keep running but the hobbits, especially Pippin, wanted to take a break and get some rest and most importantly, something to eat.
They finished eating and resumed running. They ended up eventually on a large snow covered mountain, where they found, much to Burnett's disappointment, that running was next to impossible, except to Legolas who seemed to have the annoying ability to walk nimbly over the snow. They cursed him silently. "A shadow and a threat is growing in my mind. We should not linger." Legolas said cryptically to nobody in particular. They ignored him because elves are never right. All of a sudden half the mountain was dumped on top of their heads. Fuck. Stupid elf.
They dug themselves out of the snow and saw 2 little black Furby's peeking down at them from the summit of the mountain. Burnett thought of shooting them, but then he realized he was just a pilot with no actual artillery. Frodo was badly shaken, and Sam took this moment of weakness as an invitation to wrap his arms around him and kiss the side of his neck. Frodo spun around sharply. "What the hell are you doing you twisted bastard!" he yelled, and shoved Sam off the side of the mountain. They moved on and eventually came to green grass once again. Burnett was actually tired so he fell asleep near a creek, while Legolas was teaching Merry how to use a bow and arrow. All of a sudden a loud squawking noise was heard echoing through the valley. They turned and saw 9 black Furby's coming towards them, an angry flare in their beady little eyes. "Ringwraiths!" shouted Frodo as they ran for the cave at the top of the hill.
"No! Not the Mines of Furbia! It's too perilous!" shouted Gandalf, who had been there the whole time but nobody noticed. "Oh come on," Frodo coaxed, "We're all signed on to be in the next 2 movies anyway. What's it gonna hurt?"
"You have a point there." Gandalf said. "NO TIME TO TALK! WE HAVE TO RUN!!!!" Burnett screamed. "What's with this guy and running?" Pippin asked. "Not a clue, Pip." Merry replied.
They reached the mines of Furbia and to their horror the floor was littered with bodies of victims of vicious furby attacks.
Burnett was forced to slow down to a jog, as Gandalf wanted to be the first to throw himself into immediate danger. Pippin was whining about wanting food, and Frodo was telling him where to shove it. All of a sudden as they were crossing a bridge they heard a deafening shriek. Gandalf hurried everyone to the other side and turned to face the dreaded fire breathing furby devil "Save yourselves!" Gandalf yelled to the others as he ran toward the six-inch tall beast. The furby saw it coming and just wasn't having it. He shrieked so loud the bridge cracked and he and Gandalf plummeted into the gaping abyss. Everyone watched in horror as Gandalf fell, yelling, "This wasn't in the contract! You don't come back from thiiiiiiiiiiiis!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Frodo screamed, as Burnett who carried him out of there picked him up. Pippin and Merry followed.
Oh yeah, and Legolas, flipping his hair, sexily as he ran. They emerged outside and the hobbits proceeded to have a teary cuddle-fest, much to Burnett's disgust.
They finally got to the jagged cliffs of Mordor, where Burnett left them. "Good luck hobbits and elf, I'll see you again soon!" he ran off yelling "WIIIILSON!" "What a queer fellow, " said Merry.
Legolas sniffed. "Good riddance to bad rubbish...well come on then let's go! We have a sequel to do!"
What would await them in the fiery pits of Mordor?????? THE SUSPENSE BUILDS IMMENSELY!!!!