It's Always Darkest Before…
************************************************************************
The girl named Serena slept. Vegita had nothing to do. He felt a certain amount of responsibility for her. He had checked into a small inn, feeling a bit conspicuous carrying an unconscious girl. He had received a few dirty looks, but barely noticed. He was truly dazed.
He reviewed the facts in his mind: he had barely escaped the destruction of Namek. He had been transported to this place from some barren wasteland. Goku was still more powerful than him.
The thought burned. It came out of the recesses of his mind and tormented him, made his mind an inferno. He could never get away from it except by forgetting for a moment. It always came back to him when his mind was quiet, filling him with rage. Not rage against Goku, but against himself. He hated his powerlessness. He hated himself for it. Of all the things in the universe, he believed most of all in power, pure power that coursed through the veins and allowed one to control, dominate, and exercise justice. Yet that standard was the very thing that Goku could always beat him on, always be better at. He could never excel, never be great, and he would never be able to be proud of what he accomplished because Goku would always be there, standing above him, better, more powerful, more glorious and bright. Vegita was trapped in the hell of his own inadequacy.
He went for a walk. The air had become colder in the night. The streets were still milling with whatever folk lived in this place. Vegita's mind burned too much to puzzle about where he was. He only walked, each step hating everything more because he could not have the one thing he wanted- superiority. His rage built and became a glow, something that he could light his way by.
"Ah," he thought. "There it is. I thought my rage had burnt out."
Rage was comfortable to Vegita. Warm, but calculating. It drove him, pushed him, allowed him to dream that he could be better, because those things that were above him could be cast down. He had lost it for a while. There on Namek, as he lay on the ground, beaten, he had relinquished his rage and spoken truly to Goku. Then he had closed his eyes… he didn't remember anything after that. All he could remember was a small ship landing, picking him up, and taking him from the planet. It had been surreal. Sounds of the battle were quieted, and the whole world turned grayscale, except for that ship. He had gotten up off the ground, leaving his rage and entering the capsule, to the black cold of space.
The very thought made him grow cold again. He stopped walking, and collapsed to his knees.
"No!" He pleaded in his heart, "Don't leave me alone again. I need you to be my adversary Goku, to be my drive for excellence. Without you to hate, I will never be whole."
But the answer was nothing but cold, empty silence. He looked around. The world was ashes before his eyes. The buildings, the people, the air itself was lifeless, empty, and he was at the center of it, digging for some gem that he could not find.
He got up, and tried to forget his vision. He would go back to the inn. The girl might have woken up.
************************************************************************
Serena dreamed. She was walking, holding hands with Darian. It was so sweet, it filled her with a glow. She was special! He loved her! He smiled and told her so, then he kissed her… but something went wrong. Just as their lips parted, the color drained from his, and his whole body became mixed shades of black and white. She pulled him too herself, but he only began to fade even more. She screamed, begged for him to stay.
"Let me go," he said, "if you wish to save me."
She heard it as a whisper, but it assaulted her ears like an armed robber, stealing joy, love, all goodness from her.
Weeping, she let go, and backed away from him, never taking her eyes off him as he began to take shape, to become colorful again. He walked away too, turning his back on her. He became smaller, moving to the edge of the horizon, then dropped off as he walked to the other side of the world. It happened in a second and it took an eternity. Then the whole world turned to ash.
************************************************************************
************************************************************************
The girl named Serena slept. Vegita had nothing to do. He felt a certain amount of responsibility for her. He had checked into a small inn, feeling a bit conspicuous carrying an unconscious girl. He had received a few dirty looks, but barely noticed. He was truly dazed.
He reviewed the facts in his mind: he had barely escaped the destruction of Namek. He had been transported to this place from some barren wasteland. Goku was still more powerful than him.
The thought burned. It came out of the recesses of his mind and tormented him, made his mind an inferno. He could never get away from it except by forgetting for a moment. It always came back to him when his mind was quiet, filling him with rage. Not rage against Goku, but against himself. He hated his powerlessness. He hated himself for it. Of all the things in the universe, he believed most of all in power, pure power that coursed through the veins and allowed one to control, dominate, and exercise justice. Yet that standard was the very thing that Goku could always beat him on, always be better at. He could never excel, never be great, and he would never be able to be proud of what he accomplished because Goku would always be there, standing above him, better, more powerful, more glorious and bright. Vegita was trapped in the hell of his own inadequacy.
He went for a walk. The air had become colder in the night. The streets were still milling with whatever folk lived in this place. Vegita's mind burned too much to puzzle about where he was. He only walked, each step hating everything more because he could not have the one thing he wanted- superiority. His rage built and became a glow, something that he could light his way by.
"Ah," he thought. "There it is. I thought my rage had burnt out."
Rage was comfortable to Vegita. Warm, but calculating. It drove him, pushed him, allowed him to dream that he could be better, because those things that were above him could be cast down. He had lost it for a while. There on Namek, as he lay on the ground, beaten, he had relinquished his rage and spoken truly to Goku. Then he had closed his eyes… he didn't remember anything after that. All he could remember was a small ship landing, picking him up, and taking him from the planet. It had been surreal. Sounds of the battle were quieted, and the whole world turned grayscale, except for that ship. He had gotten up off the ground, leaving his rage and entering the capsule, to the black cold of space.
The very thought made him grow cold again. He stopped walking, and collapsed to his knees.
"No!" He pleaded in his heart, "Don't leave me alone again. I need you to be my adversary Goku, to be my drive for excellence. Without you to hate, I will never be whole."
But the answer was nothing but cold, empty silence. He looked around. The world was ashes before his eyes. The buildings, the people, the air itself was lifeless, empty, and he was at the center of it, digging for some gem that he could not find.
He got up, and tried to forget his vision. He would go back to the inn. The girl might have woken up.
************************************************************************
Serena dreamed. She was walking, holding hands with Darian. It was so sweet, it filled her with a glow. She was special! He loved her! He smiled and told her so, then he kissed her… but something went wrong. Just as their lips parted, the color drained from his, and his whole body became mixed shades of black and white. She pulled him too herself, but he only began to fade even more. She screamed, begged for him to stay.
"Let me go," he said, "if you wish to save me."
She heard it as a whisper, but it assaulted her ears like an armed robber, stealing joy, love, all goodness from her.
Weeping, she let go, and backed away from him, never taking her eyes off him as he began to take shape, to become colorful again. He walked away too, turning his back on her. He became smaller, moving to the edge of the horizon, then dropped off as he walked to the other side of the world. It happened in a second and it took an eternity. Then the whole world turned to ash.
************************************************************************