Title: Help

Author: Joy

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

            Spike sat curled into a corner staring hatefully out at the room. Periodically he would clutch his head as if in pain. Cordelia tended to Wolf and Dawn while Buffy just stared at Spike who had expressed absolute distain for her.

Angel moved close to his young childe. "William?" he asked. Spike's head came up meeting his eyes. "What do you remember?"

Spike squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "It hurts… It hurts… So much pain… So much hate and death… You!" Spike lunged at Angel sending them both rolling across the floor. "You did this… You hurt her… You tortured and raped and killed…" he yelled slamming Angel's head into the floor not attempting to stop him.

"Not about me William… What do you remember about you?" Angel said smoothly.

"You made me this way," Spike screamed at Angel pounding him. "You taught me to do those things… I hate you! How could you do that? How could you make me do that?" Spike wailed loudly and tears descended his face, "She made me because you were done with her… You used her and drove her mad and made her a killer… I was made to be a doll for her collection, something to love. Then I was there to protect her from you… You took everything from her!"

"William… What about what you did? Not to Dru…to the others. What about the others?" Angel said again as Buffy and Cordelia looked on horrified.

Spike thought for a second or two and grabbed his head again. "Make it stop…Please make it stop," he muttered like a mantra.

"Get a trash can Buffy," Angel instructed. She handed it over. "William, sit up."

He did what he was told. "It hurts…"

"You feel sick?" The only answer Angel got was Spike heaving blood into the trashcan. "Get a blanket," Angel ordered Buffy who promptly realized this was Angel's game not hers.

Angel rapped the younger vampire in the blanket and drew him back against his chest. "I'm sorry William… I'm sorry… It's going to hurt for a while. You can beat on me anytime you need to."

Spike leaned forward into the trashcan again and threw up more blood.

"He's rejecting the claim," Buffy said quietly not looking up. Angel just looked at her silently. "You didn't do this, did you?"

He shook his head. "But I hadn't fed right before the restoration either."

"It's the claim… He's rejecting me."

"Of course I'm rejecting you!" William shouted. "Why in the name of all that is Holy would I want to be with you? You, my dear girl, are beneath me!" he said with venom.

"Angel why is he so angry at me? Why didn't he come back like you did?" Buffy cried.

"Because I had worked out all this junk a hundred years ago. He's still pissed that he got turned," Angel answered. "The claim is specific vampire tradition."

William looked at her incredulously, "Why would I want to be with a person that forced me to do something that archaic to them? Why would I want to be with someone who wanted me to rape and bleed her? And it was against the monster's will even. What sort of a woman are you?"

Buffy dissolved into a crying fit. "Where is Spike? Where did he go? Why isn't he here to love me and let me sooth him?"

"Because child, I'm not letting that monster run my life," William responded.

"He's not a monster. He was my husband and the father of my child. He was loving and devoted. He would die to protect us… What are you? A brassed off soul that can't stand the thought that the demon inside you had more of a life then you did… That monster that you're rejecting is loved out here in the real world. I'm sorry everyone you love is dead but we love him! When you decide to stop fighting him and let him be part, let me know!" Buffy shouted at the body of the man that used to be the love of her life.

William remained quiet for a while as his nausea subsided. Images began to come in droves again, but this time it was of the tower, Dawn doing her homework, Tara facing off with her family, Giles giving him a hug. The life he had been living the last few years became fresh as Spike tried to push to the surface. William squeezed his eyes shut… "Why can't I just make him go away?"

"Because he loves me," Buffy said matter-of-factly, "and you can't keep him from me. You can't control him the way you want to."

Dawn had roused enough to watch what was happening. "He loves me and he would never leave me," she said quietly. "He's not a bad guy…Just give him a chance."

"This is bloody ridiculous," William swore. "I don't swear!"

"Yeah…but Spike does," Dawn smirked. "He's taken you all over the world and seen great parts of history… He's also never thrown away your mother's letters or stopped reading poetry. He's accepted the fact he's not very good at writing it… He kept vestiges of you in his world. Don't push him out of ours."

The teenager seemed so sincere that his heart hurt. She was so innocent and loving. And yet she loved this thing inside him. She loved him…the demon…the killer. William closed his eyes again and just focused on the memories he had of Dawn. He saw them playing cards, sitting in his crypt telling her stories, attempting to save her life on the tower, caring for her after Buffy had died. Then he saw Buffy on the stairs as they both prepared to die for Dawn, then her dead on the ground, her buried, and himself weeping at her grave. He remembered Spike's 'you treat me like a man' speech. He saw Buffy descend her staircase after clawing her way out of her grave and he how held her hands. He felt the love this part of him had for each of these women. Then he remembered Joyce, her mini marshmallows, and her grave as well. William wept. That part of him they called Spike loved all of these women with every ounce of his being.

William fell into what can only be called a trance. He stood in a black room with no doors and he saw nothing. "Go ahead and look Wanker… You won't see anything," Spike's less polished accent came from the darkness.

"Where are you?" William responded.

"In the shadows… You can't keep me from my girls… I'm asked you back into me, not the other way round, mate. Trust me, I'll kiss Angel to get rid of you if you keep treating my girl like trash," Spike growled.

"What do you want from me?" William asked looking around trying to pin down the voice.

"Simple…Work with me here. I need to have a conscience for my baby girl's sake… I want to be the best I can be for my little Hope," Spike responded coming close to William.

"Hope?" the soul asked. "Hope is our baby's name?"

"Yes… She is destined to be born to us…but you've slightly botched the claiming ritual by throwing up all of Buffy's blood."

William made a face, "How can she let you do that to her?"

"She loves me," Spike came even closer.

"I feel you… How can I feel you?"

"You're beginning to accept me… It will take some time but you'll get used to me… Like Nibblet said…I'm really not that bad a guy anymore."

"Do you really still have mother's letters?" William asked timidly.

"Think about it… You know I do… Will, I'll give you all the tenacity you were afraid to show in life. Just let me in," Spike spoke smoothly.

Suddenly William felt like he was gasping for air. It was like he were a glove being stretched to fit a hand.

Spike's eyes opened and blinked a few times coughing up a little more blood. "I think we're going to have to do the claiming ritual again, luv," he said weakly.

"Spike?" Buffy whispered from where she was standing on the other side of the room.

"It's me, pet… Just had to work some things out with me better half," he sighed deeply. "I feel wrung out like some old linens."

"Okay, that wasn't one of your isms," Dawn said simply from the floor where Wolf was protectively holding her. Angel was having the cuts on the back of his head from being smashed into the ground attended to by Cordelia.

"Yeah well… I figure I'll lose some of my swearing and general raunchiness. Better for the baby…" Spike sighed deeply with his eyes shut. Buffy came along side him and hugged him gently. "Sorry for what he said, luv… I know it hurt. I know it'll take a while for you to forgive me for it."

"It wasn't you."

"It was part of me… This go round I can make the ritual special and sweet," he whispered in her ear kissing her cheek.

Spike began to chuckle.

"What's funny?" Buffy asked.

"William… All his Victorian man stuff… I know its still in me but its amplified now… I love you. I want to spend eternity with you. And you're having my child. When Father Gabriel gets back we're getting married," Spike announced with a laugh.

"Aren't you supposed to ask on bended knee or something?" Buffy looked at him incredulously.

"Buffy Anne Summers I've already purposed to you. You said yes. It may have been a spell but it did set the rest in motion… But if you insist… Buffy Anne Summers will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive by marrying me?" Spike smirked.

"Not if you don't take this seriously," she snapped.

"Oh I'm taking this very seriously pet. William, my beloved conscience, won't let me touch you until I marry you. Believe me I'm taking this seriously!"

Buffy drew her brow together in mock annoyance. "So its all about sex…"

"Dear god woman… You should hear the lecture I'm getting about how I need to make a respectable woman of you…The fact that he has enough control over me that I'm not having lusty Buffy thoughts is a miracle. As for this being just about sex I say ha. I was talking to you about marriage before we knew any of this stuff was in the works," Spike responded.

"You did?" Dawn asked in unison with Angel.

"Yes I did… I even offered to take the last name Summers, which William will have none of. His last name was good enough for his mother and his father's mother so it will be good enough for Buffy… This is kind of fun…It's like having a little person in your head to talk you into and out of stuff."

"That is generally what a conscience does," Dawn informed him.

"No but its wild…it's like thoughts I would have had years ago, but now are just there. I mean it was a big deal for me to offer to be a Summers because of how I grew up…not that you appreciated luv with your 'I'm just going to die anyways' routine. Now its like have I gone mad for even offering?"

"So William…" Cordelia addressed Spike, "Will you be okay with Buffy patrolling while she's pregnant?"

Spike smirked, "He's Victorian not stupid!" Cordelia pouted. "Wolf and Dawn will be patrolling…that was already decided."

"Man… Can't bait the soul!"

Spike laughed heartily. "I forgot how much fun I could be if I had a little freedom." Buffy looked at him. "Cordelia… He asked what sort of woman would get pleasure out of trying to corrupt a soul?" Buffy laughed.

Angel chuckled. Cordelia didn't like where the scene was going so she pressed hard on one of Angel's cuts, "Oww!"

"Oh…Sorry," Cordy mocked. Angel rolled his eyes.

"So you're you… I'd be marrying you?" Buffy asked concerned.

Spike pulled her into his lap. He put one hand on her abdomen and one hand in her hair with his arm resting on her back, "Yes luv… You'll be marrying me. Me with a new part, remember?"

"I remember," she said laying a hand on top of her stomach and kissed Spike soundly. Buffy smiled when she felt Spike harden. She leaned over and sucked on his ear, "Can't control all the lusty Buffy thoughts, huh?"

Spike's mischievous gleam met hers. "Not when lusty Buffy is in my lap rubbing herself against me in such wonderful ways," he said in a husky whisper.

"Okay… Enough watching the serious foreplay," Cordelia said as she turned to check on the baby who had slept through the entire fight. "This kid is amazing."

"Sorry about the head mate," Spike said pointing to Angel.

"Hey… You have an attack of conscience and want to blame a mentor again…find Druscilla. If I were human, I would be dead," Angel responded.

"Yeah well… I'm sure you'll teach me how to handle those 'crisis of conscience' moments, hopefully with less brooding. I don't want to raise Hope with a complex," Spike said holding Buffy's hand as they stood.

"Nibblet?" Dawn raised her eyes sleepily. Spike pulled her to her feet. "Thank you for being my angel… I couldn't have convinced William I was worth anything without your love."

She smiled at him, "Only my father and brother in one." Dawn reached a hand to Wolf. "We're resting for the remainder of the day. If anyone needs us we'll be recouping in our room."

"And if the showers running on or there is rhythmic thumping we'll be sure to leave you be," Buffy teased.

"I'm too tired to be embarrassed," Dawn responded and led her husband out of the room and up the stairs.

"So when can we do that?" Buffy said biting Spike's ear.

"The things you do to me," Spike husked back at her.

"We don't know when Father Gabriel is going to get back," Buffy pouted.

Willow knocked on the door. "Hi guys… Father Gabriel is back. He said something about the claim being broken?"

Spike smirked at her, "Something tells me our dear Father knows more then he's letting on."

"Lets go find out how," Buffy replied.

TBC…