Authors Notes: Okay, here's the first chapter. Kind of boring, I know. But first chapters are always boring! Right? Right…? Well, obviously not, but that's okay. ALRIGHT. I am SO annoyed. Does ANYONE know how to make it so there is an indent!? I NEED MY INDENTS!
****Special thank you to the people who gave me my FIRST reviews ever! Thanks guys! –DreamCoat, Angel150, GothicValleyGirl, Gillian, and Nicole!- I love you! Marry me? Hehehe. ^-^****
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in the Princess Diaries. Unfortunately. **Cries** But! I do love them anyway ^__^
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Title: Princess Diaries: Dark Secrets
Author: Charity
Rating: G
Genre: Romance
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Sunday, December first, 3 a.m.
You will never believe what just happened to me. I am totally serious, you will NEVER believe. It was so totally out there.
I was sitting on my bed, reading the book Mr. G had gotten me from the Library and forcing me to read (A book on ALGEBRA, can you believe it? Like I would ever want to read a book on Algebra, AS IF!) And out of no where, Lilly stormed into my room.
Me, guessing that my mom had let her in, didn't think it was out of the ordinary, until I saw her face. She looked so totally disgusted that I was a little scared. I thought maybe she was mad at me again, but I couldn't think of why.
But I didn't know. So I asked: "Lilly? What's wrong?" I put the book down, and walked up to her.
She looked as if she was going to burst any minute. I resisted the urge to run and take cover.
I know, that sounds so lame, but I'm serious! When Lilly gets mad, she REALLY gets mad! I remember one time in fifth grade some guy had asked Lilly why she was such a freak. Lilly's face had gotten so red we all thought it was the end of the world for poor Billy. (What was WRONG with this kids family anyway? Who thinks about people being freaks in the FIFTH GRADE?) She had said: "Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? WHAT did you say to me?" Poor Billy ended up taped to the bottom of the slide with his socks in his mouth.
Then there was the time with Norman (The boy who was obsessed with Lilly's feet.) That was pretty weird, and Lilly had made sure HE didn't bother her anymore.
So anyway, Lilly was standing there, all mad.
"Michael has a girlfriend." She told me through clenched teeth.
My heart dropped to my stomach and my hands turned ice cold. WHAT?! WHAT?! MICHAEL HAS A GIRLFRIEND?! HOW COULD THIS BE!? I was so totally in love with him, and he goes off and gets a GIRLFRIEND? Oh God! Is this punishment for going out with Kenny, when I was actually in love with Michael?!
But then I remembered: Lilly doesn't know. It was probably written all over my face, but instead I just said: "So? What do I care?"
She walked past me and sat down on my bed, crossing her arms, and actually POUTING. I have never seen Lilly Moscovitz pout before, like EVER.
She glanced over at me, examining me. "He's going out with Lana."
LANA!? WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO OUT WITH LANA? Well, besides Josh Richter, and the fact that she's gorgeous and popular. BUT THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT. Why would MICHAEL want to go out with LANA?! He's a COMPUTER NERD, for the love of God! I almost cried. I am not kidding tears almost came to my eyes.
And of course, after all this shock I forgot to cover my true feelings. "WHAT? Lana!? Lana WEINBERGER?"
She blinked at me. "Well not exactly Lana herself, but a Lana Clone! I swear to you!" She got up and started pacing my room. "She looks and acts just like Lana. It's a disgrace to the family! I can't believe Michael, MY OWN BROTHER, would do this to me! I just CAN'T believe it! He's always said people like Lana were robots that were programmed to be stupid and snobby. That they were the Devil and were meant to be killed." She snorted in disgust.
Michael actually said that? That's kind of freaky.
I was going to tell her just that, but she kept going. "And on top of all of it, he actually INVITED her over for dinner. FOR DINNER. I do NOT want to eat dinner with a LANA CLONE."
I was in too much shock to say much. Michael has a girlfriend. MICHAEL has a girlfriend. MICHAEL has a GIRLFRIEND. MICHAEL HAS A LANA CLONE FOR A GIRLFRIEND.
"I am not going back," she told me. Obviously her mind was made up. "I refuse to go back to that house."
I realized she wanted to stay here. I didn't want her to stay, because I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and try to pull myself together. But, she was my friend, and I had to be there for her.
She's asleep right now. We watched all the James Bond movies in a row, to try and calm her down and take her mind off of the whole thing. But, actually, I had watched them to try and take my mind off of it. Michael has a girlfriend (A Lana wanna be, no less.)
My mind couldn't believe it, and my heart wouldn't believe it.
THINGS TO DO:
Buy cat litter
Try to be a better Princess
Stop thinking about MM and his new GIRLFRIEND
Be more:
Responsible
Mature
Happier.
Stop thinking of ways to get back at people
STOP THINKING ABOUT MM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND
December second, Girls bathroom
It's true. IT'S TRUE. Michael DOES have a girlfriend! (Not that I didn't believe Lilly, but sometimes she gets out of hand and doesn't look at things for what they really are.) Her name is Sontanna Sugerbaker. I am so totally in shock. I can't believe it! SONTANNA? What kind of name is Sontanna?! Why doesn't she just go and BE Lana Weinberger.
It was a disaster! A COMPLETE and TOTAL disaster!
So there we all were at lunch, Me, Lilly with Boris's arm around her shoulders, Shameeka, Ling Su, Tina Hakim Baba, and Kenny was absent today (THANK GOD!). Lars and Tina's bodyguard were at the end of the table, arm wrestling. We were all peacefully minding are own business (Lilly was telling me that she thinks the popular kids don't get charged as much as we do for lunch, Shameeka and Ling Su were ogling some boy at a close by table, Boris was drooling over Lilly, and Tina Hakim Baba was reading one of her romance books called "Both sides of time.") when out of NOWHERE Michael comes up to us.
Lilly stopped babbling on about how unfair and morally wrong it was to charge people more just because they were freaks and looked up at Michael, with the most evil look in her eye I had ever seen. It was so totally scary.
I, of course, looked at him dreamily.
Michael looked at us all one by one, and asked if he could sit down.
"Sure," I said quickly.
"No," Lilly said just as quickly, and at the same time.
He sat down anyway. "So I was wondering, Mia, if you need help on Math for your test next Friday?" I nodded. He continued: "Well, I'm free this weekend if you'd like to come over."
MICHAEL WANTED ME TO COME OVER SO HE CAN HELP ME WITH HIS MATH HOMEWORK? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
Lilly glared at him. "What about your little girlfriend?'
He sighed. "Lilly, why do you hate Sontanna so much?"
Lilly's eyes bugged out so big, I thought they were going to explode. "Why!?" She yelled. "Maybe because she's a freaking-!"
But Lilly didn't have time to finish. At that exact moment some skinny girl, with long brown hair and big breasts came up and sat down on Michael's lap.
RIGHT on his lap!! I am NOT kidding!! What is up with Michael lately?! He is so acting like it's not even him! I have never seen Michael SIGH or let some fluffy girl sit on his LAP. What is going on?
We all stared at her. Michael smiled up at her (with her breasts practically in his face!!!!!!) "Everyone," he started. "This is Sontanna Sugerbaker." She giggled and wiggled her fingers at us.
I couldn't take it. I didn't care how I looked, it was driving me crazy. My heart was pounding in my chest at the sight of how pretty she was, how much he deserved a pretty girl and not some flat chested, yield sign, fife nine girl like me. I got up and ran into the bathroom.
Now here I am, sitting on the toilet (lid down) writing this to you, while everyone else is meeting stupid, life corrupter, Sontanna Sugerbaker.
I can't take it. I CAN'T TAKE IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Authors Notes: I know, I KNOW. Michael wouldn't do that. BUT, there IS point to why he is doing it. So, bear with me.