The Tragedy- Who We Are Inside---Part 2
who we are inside
Choices~
The alarm went off at it's usual time of 12:05pm, causing Subaru to shudder violently and nearly fall off the bed. He really, really needed to change the settings of that alarm. "Damn, I feel like I just went to sleep," he muttered sleepily, grouchy from being woken so suddenly by the annoying beeping noise his alarm made. He sat rigid on the edge of his bed, rubbing his shoulder which had began to hurt only moments before. Then he pulled his hand back to his face and looked at it. Blood. He blinked a couple times, only then realizing he had been attacked in the street by a man the night before. Not that he cared, he wasn't carrying anything of value anyway. The stinging cut, however, did annoy him. He blinked a few more times, wondering why he hadn't fought back. Shrugging it off, he stood up.
After a few minutes of standing dizzily next to his bed, he ambled over to the bathroom to inspect his injuries. His shirt was torn on the shoulder, and the flesh was cut and bleeding. Typical. He sighed and threw his ripped shirt to the side and kneeled to search under the sink for something to clean his wound with. "Does that hurt?" came the echo of a mocking voice. Subaru glared, but never turned to acknowledge the person. He was busy looking for paroxide. "You know, alcohal, though it stings, is better for cuts such as those," Yuuto whispered, pointing at the bruise and cuts on Subaru's shoulder and upper back. For a moment, Subaru paused. "I don't keep alcohal in my apartment, I keep paroxide," he replied, then went back to shuffling through his belongings. After another moment, he found it.
Yuuto brushed a couple strands of blonde hair out of his eyes and blinked a couple times at Subaru, who was now dabbing cottonballs in the paroxide. He groaned a little. "Why does Subaru have to be so freaking girly all the time," he wondered to himself, grabbing a few cottonballs and dabbing them against one of the cuts on Subaru's midback. "You're really hard to keep an eye on, I don't know why I told 'Kamui' I'd do it," Yuuto groaned. Subaru blinked a couple times, then slapped Yuuto away. "Don't touch me, and what does the Dragon of Earth's Kamui want with me?" he blinked a few more times, grabbing some gauze.
Grinning widely, Yuuto leaned back against the wall he was near. "Well... you're one of us, aren't you?" he asked calmly. Subaru narrowed his eyes. He didn't like being compared to most people---especially Yuuto. "I'm nothing like you," he groaned in reply, wrapping some bandages around his sore shoulder. "You'll want to bandage your back, too. Can you do that with onmyoujitsu?" Yuuto responding mockingly, smiling at Subaru's growing annoyance. "Do you intend to help me bandage my back?" he asked half-heartedly. Yuuto grabbed some bandages and wrapped them around Subaru's chest, "Am I supposed to let you bleed to death? I would, you know, if I didn't think 'Kamui' would be seriously pissed at me," he groaned, annoyed with Subaru's unusual behavior, and couldn't help but ask. "Why do you have to act so damn girly?"
Subaru blinked a couple times, not sure how to reply. He didn't think he acted girly. Of course, Yuuto would think anything slightly pretty was "girly" in his eyes. He didn't think highly of Yuuto, and hadn't fretted to show it. He was as rude as he could be, but Yuuto persisted in bugging him. He was ready to strangle the blonde man. "Girly?" he hissed, lost. He hated being confused, he realized. It wasn't a very good feeling, especially when he thought he might be outsmarted by a player like Yuuto. "Well you're feminine. Everything you do is feminine, from the way you walk.. to the way you dab cottonballs in paroxide. It's really quite unnerving," Yuuto replied cooly. He was determined not to let Subaru anger him, though he knew the girly comment must have frustrated Subaru greatly.
Shrugging, Subaru stood up. "It's only unnerving because you're afraid to feel anything for another man. But of course, that makes it even more twisted---you feel nothing for women either. You could say you don't feel anything at all. But that would be wrong too, wouldn't it be?" Subaru was cold in his reply, walking only two steps before Yuuto had his hands around his neck. He was angry, and Subaru had won. "What do you mean by that? Unlike you, fruit boy, I'm perfectly straight," Yuuto defiantly hissed. Subaru merely smiled, causing Yuuto to drop him and step back. "You looked like him when you did that..." Yuuto started, and Subaru's facial expression changed from amused to lost. "Him?" he asked curiously. Yuuto nodded, but didn't explain. He didn't have to, Subaru knew who he meant. What surprised him was being told he looked like Seishirou. He never was told such a thing before, and he knew it wasn't very likely to be true. But Yuuto looked so horrified that he was kind of interested in how he must have appeared.
Subaru shrugged once more, and immediantly slipped to the closet for a shirt. "It's cold outside," Yuuto whispered in response, as if to remind Subaru to wear something warm. The idea of Yuuto feeling concern, again, annoyed him. He knew Yuuto probably couldn't care less if his own mother died, so why did he have to act so.. so fucking pampering around him. The thought made Subaru want to break something, but he put it aside and grabbed a thick black sweatshirt. He always wore long sleeves, so finding one was of course not very hard. He wasn't really worried about being cold, as he had a new coat to wear that was thick and comfortable. He slipped his shirt on quickly and turned to Yuuto, confused. "What do you want, again?" he asked, a little lost. Yuuto shook his head, "'Kamui' wants you to go to the Sakura Barrow." Subaru blinked. He didn't like hearing the name 'Kamui' as it made him think of the fifteen year old one, and not the Dragons of Earth. He sighed.
"When?"
"This afternoon. Five, if I remember," Yuuto remorsed slightly, sulking against the wall.
"I'm leaving," Subaru nodded.
"Okay," Yuuto replied, making no effort to move.
"That means you're leaving, too," Subaru hissed, annoyed.
After a moment of bickering the two finally calmed down and both left the building, Subaru locking the door after he got Yuuto out. How annoying it was to be followed around like a child, he thought to himself. Then again, in it's own way, it was kind of amusing. Now if only he could think of some place to go, or something to do to pass the time. It was early, and he had a good four and a half hours to burn. He sighed, and finally vanished into the streets.
Meanwhile, from the side of the building a shadowed figure moved. After a few minutes Sorata walked out from the shadows and watched Subaru walk off. "Kamui isn't going to like hearing about this... " he murmured to himself, frowning slightly. He didn't want to be the one to break the news to Kamui that Subaru was hanging around the Dragons of Earth. Actually, he didn't want to have to face a very pissed off Kamui, but that was beside the point. He really didn't have a choice. He sighed, and walked off the other way, not at all his usual cheery self.
Subaru wandered through the half-empty streets, shovelling his feet about the snow almost boredly, watching piles tumble among one another. He sighed and looked at his watch, wandering around in a circle for a couple minutes before directing himself to Ueno Park. He didn't really want to go there, but he didn't think he really had a choice. Obviously, if he didn't, Yuuto would be crammed down his throat again. He had the sinking suspiscion that Fuuma had purposely sent Yuuto, to emphasize his request, and as a sort of threat. He narrowed his eyes, staring off into space as he walked.
It was only a matter of seconds before Subaru tripped among his own feet and hit the snow on his elbows and chest. He looked up eyeing the snow and then blinked. He didn't say anything but he had a strange feeling of deja vu. He hadn't been so clutsy as to fall over as of late, and doing so had surprised him, and Fuuma, who was standing near the large Sakura, laughing. Subaru sat up, "What do you want?" Fuuma blinked, then stopped laughing, but was unable to surpress his grin. Subaru was probably the most unintentionally funny person he had ever met. "You've made your choice, correct?" he asked softly, walking to Subaru. He offered his hand to the onmyouji, smiling almost too kindly for Subaru's comfort--but he took his hand and climbed to his feet again. "Perhaps, why are you so curious?" He seemed very interested, and Subaru wanted to know why. "I'm just wondering what Seishirou would do in your shoes," Fuuma replied. Subaru blinked a couple times. He hadn't thought of that. "I.. I don't know," he heard himself reply, staring at the snow. He had originally decided to end the Sakurazukamori assassin organization with himself, because he didn't want to kill. Now he wasn't so sure. "Well, neither do I. You knew him much better then I did, so I thought I'd ask you. Wouldn't you probably do what he would have done?" Fuuma sounded sort of mocking but interested at once. Subaru shrugged a little. It was true, he would probably do what he thought Seishirou would do. A habit he had formed when trying to get Seishirou to kill him. He half-wondered if he'd ever break that habit.
Subaru started to turn away, as if to walk off when he spotted Sorata approaching. He blinked a couple times. "Sorata?" he asked confused. Sorata looked upset, but didn't stop from being his usual bold self, and walked right up to Subaru. "I was just curious, Subaru, don't you find it slightly strange that, say, a former Ten no Ryuu, would be associating with.." he thumbed at Fuuma to make his point. Subaru turned his head, "Are you assuming?" he didn't need to add anymore, he knew Sorata understood. "To be quite frank, yes, I am," Sorata replied, narrowing his eyes. Fuuma burst out laughing. "Well if Subaru did betray you, as you assume, what would you do?" he asked, amused. Subaru narrowed his eyes slightly at Fuuma. He hadn't betrayed anyone. Not yet, at least. "I'd beg and plead with someone else to tell Kamui, because I'd rather him not maul me in disbelief," Sorata replied bluntly. Subaru started cracking up, and Sorata turned to him. "I don't see what's so funny," he remarked.
Fuuma smiled a bit, "Well, Subaru has actually got a choice---take Seishirou's place, or fall out of the war completely. I don't think he's decided yet.." he eyed Subaru who was rolling around in the snow laughing hard, "and to be quite frank, I don't see what's so funny either." Sorata poked Subaru with his shoe, and blinked. Subaru grinned, "I got a mental picture of Kamui strangling Sorata and no one coming to his," he stopped to laugh a bit more, "aid!" Fuuma snickered a little. The thought of that was kind of funny. Sorata scowled. "Arashi would!" he hissed, glaring at Subaru. Subaru started laughing harder, "She'd probably be cheering on Kamui!"
Sorata scowled a little but didn't bother replying. "Well, when you decide, you yourself can tell Kamui.." he began and blinked when Subaru suddenly quit laughing. "Who says I haven't decided?" he remarked slightly, narrowing his mis-matched eyes. "The Chi no Ryuu's 'Kamui' did," Sorata replied blankly. Subaru narrowed his eyes more, "He's not me. I've decided," he hissed, aggrivated. In truth, he hadn't, but he wanted to seem like he did. He also had just realized he'd prefer to take Seishirou's spot and fulfill what Seishirou was going to do, then live his life blankly in misery. "Oh?" Fuuma purred, having caught on a little too quick for Subaru's comfort. Sorata frowned a little. "You're going with them," he replied almost sadly. Subaru sighed and looked away. "I'd rather live my life trying to complete Seishirou-san's mission then live my life with no purpose and be miserable. I'd rather end it all.." he replied softly, in a melody. Sorata sighed, "Well I can tell Kamui that.. but he's going to still be hurt, Subaru," he nodded a little.
Subaru slightly dropped his head. He knew it would hurt Kamui bad, was he supposed to pretend he didn't? He sighed a little and turned to Sorata. "What am I supposed to say?" he asked calmly. He didn't know how to reply. He knew Kamui would be hurt, he knew he would be the one to cause that pain, but he wasn't going to sacrifice his own happiness, he couldn't do that anymore. He had to try to make himself happy. "At least," he thought to himself, "that would make Kamui happy as well."
Sorata shook his head and walked a few steps away, replying faintly. "Say nothing at all, Subaru.. but next time we meet, one of us will die," he whispered, and Subaru winced. That hurt, bad. He felt like he had been stabbed in the back again. But he knew it was he who had been doing the stabbing this time, and he turned his head down. At least he wouldn't have to live on and be miserable much longer, if things stayed this way. He looked down, feeling like a part of him had just died, all over again. Fuuma put a hand on his shoulder, almost sympathetically, "Subaru, go get some rest. You look pale." Subaru winced a little more, "My shoulder's injured." Fuuma nodded. Yuuto had informed him, along with whinning about how "feminine" that Subaru was.
Subaru started off, and walked down the street. "I don't know what to do.." he whispered to himself, walking through the snow. His eyes started to tear up but he bit his lip. He never liked making others feel bad, it was against his nature. He suddenly understood what Seishirou had meant by, "You're very kind," and he frowned. "Kindness could be it's own lethal injection," he thought to himself, and stared at the snow. He sighed, and slipped around to his apartment, entering and shutting the door almost subconsciously, then fell against his bed. "Hokuto-chan, what would you do?" he thought to himself, staring at the roof. He knew she would never support his decision. He wondered if Seishirou would, and he turned over on his side. Closing his eyes, he felt a tear escape his eyes. For the first time since Seishirou's death, the full impact of his loneliness had struck him. For the first time in his entire life, he was completely, and entirely alone. He fell asleep, sobbing softly against his pillow.
Choices~
The alarm went off at it's usual time of 12:05pm, causing Subaru to shudder violently and nearly fall off the bed. He really, really needed to change the settings of that alarm. "Damn, I feel like I just went to sleep," he muttered sleepily, grouchy from being woken so suddenly by the annoying beeping noise his alarm made. He sat rigid on the edge of his bed, rubbing his shoulder which had began to hurt only moments before. Then he pulled his hand back to his face and looked at it. Blood. He blinked a couple times, only then realizing he had been attacked in the street by a man the night before. Not that he cared, he wasn't carrying anything of value anyway. The stinging cut, however, did annoy him. He blinked a few more times, wondering why he hadn't fought back. Shrugging it off, he stood up.
After a few minutes of standing dizzily next to his bed, he ambled over to the bathroom to inspect his injuries. His shirt was torn on the shoulder, and the flesh was cut and bleeding. Typical. He sighed and threw his ripped shirt to the side and kneeled to search under the sink for something to clean his wound with. "Does that hurt?" came the echo of a mocking voice. Subaru glared, but never turned to acknowledge the person. He was busy looking for paroxide. "You know, alcohal, though it stings, is better for cuts such as those," Yuuto whispered, pointing at the bruise and cuts on Subaru's shoulder and upper back. For a moment, Subaru paused. "I don't keep alcohal in my apartment, I keep paroxide," he replied, then went back to shuffling through his belongings. After another moment, he found it.
Yuuto brushed a couple strands of blonde hair out of his eyes and blinked a couple times at Subaru, who was now dabbing cottonballs in the paroxide. He groaned a little. "Why does Subaru have to be so freaking girly all the time," he wondered to himself, grabbing a few cottonballs and dabbing them against one of the cuts on Subaru's midback. "You're really hard to keep an eye on, I don't know why I told 'Kamui' I'd do it," Yuuto groaned. Subaru blinked a couple times, then slapped Yuuto away. "Don't touch me, and what does the Dragon of Earth's Kamui want with me?" he blinked a few more times, grabbing some gauze.
Grinning widely, Yuuto leaned back against the wall he was near. "Well... you're one of us, aren't you?" he asked calmly. Subaru narrowed his eyes. He didn't like being compared to most people---especially Yuuto. "I'm nothing like you," he groaned in reply, wrapping some bandages around his sore shoulder. "You'll want to bandage your back, too. Can you do that with onmyoujitsu?" Yuuto responding mockingly, smiling at Subaru's growing annoyance. "Do you intend to help me bandage my back?" he asked half-heartedly. Yuuto grabbed some bandages and wrapped them around Subaru's chest, "Am I supposed to let you bleed to death? I would, you know, if I didn't think 'Kamui' would be seriously pissed at me," he groaned, annoyed with Subaru's unusual behavior, and couldn't help but ask. "Why do you have to act so damn girly?"
Subaru blinked a couple times, not sure how to reply. He didn't think he acted girly. Of course, Yuuto would think anything slightly pretty was "girly" in his eyes. He didn't think highly of Yuuto, and hadn't fretted to show it. He was as rude as he could be, but Yuuto persisted in bugging him. He was ready to strangle the blonde man. "Girly?" he hissed, lost. He hated being confused, he realized. It wasn't a very good feeling, especially when he thought he might be outsmarted by a player like Yuuto. "Well you're feminine. Everything you do is feminine, from the way you walk.. to the way you dab cottonballs in paroxide. It's really quite unnerving," Yuuto replied cooly. He was determined not to let Subaru anger him, though he knew the girly comment must have frustrated Subaru greatly.
Shrugging, Subaru stood up. "It's only unnerving because you're afraid to feel anything for another man. But of course, that makes it even more twisted---you feel nothing for women either. You could say you don't feel anything at all. But that would be wrong too, wouldn't it be?" Subaru was cold in his reply, walking only two steps before Yuuto had his hands around his neck. He was angry, and Subaru had won. "What do you mean by that? Unlike you, fruit boy, I'm perfectly straight," Yuuto defiantly hissed. Subaru merely smiled, causing Yuuto to drop him and step back. "You looked like him when you did that..." Yuuto started, and Subaru's facial expression changed from amused to lost. "Him?" he asked curiously. Yuuto nodded, but didn't explain. He didn't have to, Subaru knew who he meant. What surprised him was being told he looked like Seishirou. He never was told such a thing before, and he knew it wasn't very likely to be true. But Yuuto looked so horrified that he was kind of interested in how he must have appeared.
Subaru shrugged once more, and immediantly slipped to the closet for a shirt. "It's cold outside," Yuuto whispered in response, as if to remind Subaru to wear something warm. The idea of Yuuto feeling concern, again, annoyed him. He knew Yuuto probably couldn't care less if his own mother died, so why did he have to act so.. so fucking pampering around him. The thought made Subaru want to break something, but he put it aside and grabbed a thick black sweatshirt. He always wore long sleeves, so finding one was of course not very hard. He wasn't really worried about being cold, as he had a new coat to wear that was thick and comfortable. He slipped his shirt on quickly and turned to Yuuto, confused. "What do you want, again?" he asked, a little lost. Yuuto shook his head, "'Kamui' wants you to go to the Sakura Barrow." Subaru blinked. He didn't like hearing the name 'Kamui' as it made him think of the fifteen year old one, and not the Dragons of Earth. He sighed.
"When?"
"This afternoon. Five, if I remember," Yuuto remorsed slightly, sulking against the wall.
"I'm leaving," Subaru nodded.
"Okay," Yuuto replied, making no effort to move.
"That means you're leaving, too," Subaru hissed, annoyed.
After a moment of bickering the two finally calmed down and both left the building, Subaru locking the door after he got Yuuto out. How annoying it was to be followed around like a child, he thought to himself. Then again, in it's own way, it was kind of amusing. Now if only he could think of some place to go, or something to do to pass the time. It was early, and he had a good four and a half hours to burn. He sighed, and finally vanished into the streets.
Meanwhile, from the side of the building a shadowed figure moved. After a few minutes Sorata walked out from the shadows and watched Subaru walk off. "Kamui isn't going to like hearing about this... " he murmured to himself, frowning slightly. He didn't want to be the one to break the news to Kamui that Subaru was hanging around the Dragons of Earth. Actually, he didn't want to have to face a very pissed off Kamui, but that was beside the point. He really didn't have a choice. He sighed, and walked off the other way, not at all his usual cheery self.
Subaru wandered through the half-empty streets, shovelling his feet about the snow almost boredly, watching piles tumble among one another. He sighed and looked at his watch, wandering around in a circle for a couple minutes before directing himself to Ueno Park. He didn't really want to go there, but he didn't think he really had a choice. Obviously, if he didn't, Yuuto would be crammed down his throat again. He had the sinking suspiscion that Fuuma had purposely sent Yuuto, to emphasize his request, and as a sort of threat. He narrowed his eyes, staring off into space as he walked.
It was only a matter of seconds before Subaru tripped among his own feet and hit the snow on his elbows and chest. He looked up eyeing the snow and then blinked. He didn't say anything but he had a strange feeling of deja vu. He hadn't been so clutsy as to fall over as of late, and doing so had surprised him, and Fuuma, who was standing near the large Sakura, laughing. Subaru sat up, "What do you want?" Fuuma blinked, then stopped laughing, but was unable to surpress his grin. Subaru was probably the most unintentionally funny person he had ever met. "You've made your choice, correct?" he asked softly, walking to Subaru. He offered his hand to the onmyouji, smiling almost too kindly for Subaru's comfort--but he took his hand and climbed to his feet again. "Perhaps, why are you so curious?" He seemed very interested, and Subaru wanted to know why. "I'm just wondering what Seishirou would do in your shoes," Fuuma replied. Subaru blinked a couple times. He hadn't thought of that. "I.. I don't know," he heard himself reply, staring at the snow. He had originally decided to end the Sakurazukamori assassin organization with himself, because he didn't want to kill. Now he wasn't so sure. "Well, neither do I. You knew him much better then I did, so I thought I'd ask you. Wouldn't you probably do what he would have done?" Fuuma sounded sort of mocking but interested at once. Subaru shrugged a little. It was true, he would probably do what he thought Seishirou would do. A habit he had formed when trying to get Seishirou to kill him. He half-wondered if he'd ever break that habit.
Subaru started to turn away, as if to walk off when he spotted Sorata approaching. He blinked a couple times. "Sorata?" he asked confused. Sorata looked upset, but didn't stop from being his usual bold self, and walked right up to Subaru. "I was just curious, Subaru, don't you find it slightly strange that, say, a former Ten no Ryuu, would be associating with.." he thumbed at Fuuma to make his point. Subaru turned his head, "Are you assuming?" he didn't need to add anymore, he knew Sorata understood. "To be quite frank, yes, I am," Sorata replied, narrowing his eyes. Fuuma burst out laughing. "Well if Subaru did betray you, as you assume, what would you do?" he asked, amused. Subaru narrowed his eyes slightly at Fuuma. He hadn't betrayed anyone. Not yet, at least. "I'd beg and plead with someone else to tell Kamui, because I'd rather him not maul me in disbelief," Sorata replied bluntly. Subaru started cracking up, and Sorata turned to him. "I don't see what's so funny," he remarked.
Fuuma smiled a bit, "Well, Subaru has actually got a choice---take Seishirou's place, or fall out of the war completely. I don't think he's decided yet.." he eyed Subaru who was rolling around in the snow laughing hard, "and to be quite frank, I don't see what's so funny either." Sorata poked Subaru with his shoe, and blinked. Subaru grinned, "I got a mental picture of Kamui strangling Sorata and no one coming to his," he stopped to laugh a bit more, "aid!" Fuuma snickered a little. The thought of that was kind of funny. Sorata scowled. "Arashi would!" he hissed, glaring at Subaru. Subaru started laughing harder, "She'd probably be cheering on Kamui!"
Sorata scowled a little but didn't bother replying. "Well, when you decide, you yourself can tell Kamui.." he began and blinked when Subaru suddenly quit laughing. "Who says I haven't decided?" he remarked slightly, narrowing his mis-matched eyes. "The Chi no Ryuu's 'Kamui' did," Sorata replied blankly. Subaru narrowed his eyes more, "He's not me. I've decided," he hissed, aggrivated. In truth, he hadn't, but he wanted to seem like he did. He also had just realized he'd prefer to take Seishirou's spot and fulfill what Seishirou was going to do, then live his life blankly in misery. "Oh?" Fuuma purred, having caught on a little too quick for Subaru's comfort. Sorata frowned a little. "You're going with them," he replied almost sadly. Subaru sighed and looked away. "I'd rather live my life trying to complete Seishirou-san's mission then live my life with no purpose and be miserable. I'd rather end it all.." he replied softly, in a melody. Sorata sighed, "Well I can tell Kamui that.. but he's going to still be hurt, Subaru," he nodded a little.
Subaru slightly dropped his head. He knew it would hurt Kamui bad, was he supposed to pretend he didn't? He sighed a little and turned to Sorata. "What am I supposed to say?" he asked calmly. He didn't know how to reply. He knew Kamui would be hurt, he knew he would be the one to cause that pain, but he wasn't going to sacrifice his own happiness, he couldn't do that anymore. He had to try to make himself happy. "At least," he thought to himself, "that would make Kamui happy as well."
Sorata shook his head and walked a few steps away, replying faintly. "Say nothing at all, Subaru.. but next time we meet, one of us will die," he whispered, and Subaru winced. That hurt, bad. He felt like he had been stabbed in the back again. But he knew it was he who had been doing the stabbing this time, and he turned his head down. At least he wouldn't have to live on and be miserable much longer, if things stayed this way. He looked down, feeling like a part of him had just died, all over again. Fuuma put a hand on his shoulder, almost sympathetically, "Subaru, go get some rest. You look pale." Subaru winced a little more, "My shoulder's injured." Fuuma nodded. Yuuto had informed him, along with whinning about how "feminine" that Subaru was.
Subaru started off, and walked down the street. "I don't know what to do.." he whispered to himself, walking through the snow. His eyes started to tear up but he bit his lip. He never liked making others feel bad, it was against his nature. He suddenly understood what Seishirou had meant by, "You're very kind," and he frowned. "Kindness could be it's own lethal injection," he thought to himself, and stared at the snow. He sighed, and slipped around to his apartment, entering and shutting the door almost subconsciously, then fell against his bed. "Hokuto-chan, what would you do?" he thought to himself, staring at the roof. He knew she would never support his decision. He wondered if Seishirou would, and he turned over on his side. Closing his eyes, he felt a tear escape his eyes. For the first time since Seishirou's death, the full impact of his loneliness had struck him. For the first time in his entire life, he was completely, and entirely alone. He fell asleep, sobbing softly against his pillow.