The Tragedy- Who We Are Inside---Part 3
who we are inside
"Who Are You?"~
"I swear, they were talking right here!" Sorata announced, pointing at the large Sakura Barrow, whose branches were waving slightly in the wind. In the tree, Subaru sat perched, watching the events below. It had been three days since Sorata and he had spoken, and it was approaching New Years. He started to wonder how he'd spend it. He shrugged it off, as more interesting thoughts would arise from what was taken place below his perch. "I can't believe Subaru would betray us," Yuzuriha whispered, eyeing Kamui who seemed very calm. As if he expected this. "I can," he whispered softly, his white shirt billowing in the slight breeze. Subaru was very interested now, as he had expected Kamui to be in total disbelief not utter acceptance. Perhaps there was more to the boy then he let on. "How can you accept it so easily, Kamui?" Arashi asked, and Seiichirou and Karen nodded in agreement. They, too, wanted to know. "Because Subaru is here, and he isn't denying it," Kamui replied, turning to the now shocked Ten no Ryuu.
"Subaru? You're here?" Arashi asked, looking around. Subaru hopped out of the tree and landed on one knee. Might as well not pretend to be oblivious anymore. Kamui turned to Subaru, his eyes filled with hurt, but his face expressionless. So Kamui was going to play the 'I-don't-care' game, was he? Two could play that. "Well, I think Kamui made it a little obvious, now didn't he? Why are you at the Sakura Barrow, discussing my betrayal?" Subaru sounded annoyed. Yuzuriha looked away and Karen hugged her. "How could you?" Seiichirou asked, and Subaru shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Ask Kamui, he has all the answers as of late," Subaru replied cynically. Kamui's eyes flashed painfully and he looked away. So the boy was sensitive to Subaru's betrayal, afterall. "Why don't you tell us?" Karen asked, eyeing Subaru a bit.
"Fine, as you wish. After Seishirou-san's death, I became Sakurazukamori. I was also approached by the Chi no Ryuu's 'Kamui' who told me that Seishirou wanted the damage on my eye undone, so when we left Rainbow Bridge, he went in and got Seishirou's body. He took Seishirou's eye, and he gave it to me, and told me if I used it, I would inherit Seishirou's powers. That would make me a Chi no Ryuu. I had the choice, to use it or not to. I chose to use it, and to do what Seishirou wanted to do before he died," up until that point, Subaru had kept his head down, but at that point he looked up. Sure enough, one eye was honey brown, and the other Subaru's natural emerald. Kamui turned back to Subaru, his violet eyes on the verge of tears. "Did you stop to think how much pain you'd cause Kamui!?" Yuzuriha hissed accusingly. "I knew he'd suffer. But I can't put anyone before myself anymore," Subaru admitted, running one hand through his hair. The sakurazukamori star on his hand shone softly, standing out in the slight shadow created by the Sakura Barrow.
Kamui blinked softly, eyeing the inverted pentagram on Subaru's hands. He sighed softly, and looked away again. Subaru eyed him, making finger motions to him. Kamui understood, Subaru had told him to see him later. "I'm leaving, I don't want to be offended by your rude comments anymore," Subaru whispered, turning and walking away while the others whispered. Kamui watched and turned his head down. His arms were bandaged, and his white shirt was billowing lightly. As Subaru walked, he tilted his head down. He had seen the violet-eyed teenager look so horribly betrayed before, but he couldn't help feeling guilty. He had a job, and he couldn't change that. Not even if he wanted to. "Kamui, forgive me.." he whispered to himself, barely enough to be heard by his own ears. It wasn't until his tears fell onto his own hand that he realized that he had begun crying. He had always been a sensitive and emotional person. "Damn it.." he thought to himself, quickly wiping his eyes. For his sake, and for Kamui's, he had to be strong. He couldn't show Kamui how much the insults that were thrown at him had burnt. He couldn't let them know they had hurt him.
Later that day, just after sundown, Kamui crept to Subaru's apartment. He was really scared, he had never been really comfortable coming to Subaru's house. He didn't think it was his place, after all, Subaru was a grown man and deserved privacy. But Subaru had asked him to come. Not aloud, of course, but with his fingers he motioned, and he could see in Subaru's eyes what he meant. So he knocked, three times, ever-so-gently. Subaru poped his head out the door, and opened it, allowing Kamui to enter. "Kamui, you know that I didn't want to hurt you, right?" he asked softly, watching Kamui stand in the center of the room. He motioned to the bed, "Sit if you'd like." Kamui sat in the middle of the floor. He noticed Kamui often sat in the floor and blinked a couple times. "I didn't think you meant to but.. what you said.. it.." Kamui lost himself in his words so he tilted his head down, closing his violet eyes. Subaru sighed, feeling even more guilty then before. "I didn't mean to upset you, I wanted to make you hate me, so you weren't as hurt by me.. being a dragon of earth. I was also.. upset that you were unphazed," Subaru admitted softly. Kamui looked up, his eyes losing some of the hurt in them.
Subaru fell back onto the bed, dropping his trench coat off his shoulders then fell back against the streets dully. "I'm really sorry, even though that won't change the facts," he whispered, yawning a little. It was starting to get late now, since he and Kamui had decided to take long periods of silence between each response. The face of his alarm flashed 9:23 and he blinked to Kamui. "It's getting late. Do you want me to walk you back home?" Subaru asked dully, half asleep. He hadn't been feeling well, especially since he had stayed up the entire night before.. hunting. "No, I'll go on my own, thanks though.. talk to you later, Subaru," Kamui whispered, standing up. Subaru stood up, to see him to the door. After Kamui was gone, Subaru sighed, and locked the door. He wanted no disturbances this night, as it had already been a day of hell and he didn't want more things to screw it up. He plowed out on his bed, and stared at the picture he kept at his bed side.
The picture was an old one, of Seishirou with clear glasses, smiling brightly from behind the Sumeragi twins. Hokuto had one hand on her hip and Subaru was standing with his arms at his side, smiling. "Such a happy time," Subaru whispered, staring at his sixteen year old self in the picture, "I was happy then... do I deserve to have such happy memories?" He sighed softly, picking the picture up. There was a crack in the glass, Subaru noted, gazing into the picture. He sighed, sliding his fingers over the thin glass before dropping the picture. It fell with a clunk against the carpet, and Subaru turned his attention up to the picture that he had gotten from Karen, Yuzuriha, and Arashi for Christmas. He looked down and wondered if he was even worthy of looking at such a thoughtful gift. He sighed, and fell against his sheets again. He felt like he was nearing the point of tears, so he buried his face in his pillow. He was determined to go to sleep, if only to escape the pains of being awake.
"What would Hokuto say?" a voice asked Subaru. He looked around the blackness, where obsticles float, and blinked a couple times. "Who's there?" Subaru asked, wondering where he was. "This is a dream, you're asleep," the voice replied. Subaru swung around quickly to notice a man with long white hair sitting on a circular object resembling earth, that was floating in the air. He didn't recognize him. "Who are you?" he repeated, eyeing the man on the globe. "Kakyou. Kuzuki Kakyou." Kakyou replied, eyeing Subaru a bit. "You knew Hokuto?" Subaru asked softly, watching Kakyou a bit. Kakyou nodded softly, barely moving. "I knew Hokuto some. She was special, to me, and to you. She cared a lot about you, and she'd support almost any choice you made, Subaru. Any choice but the one to be someone you're not, and you're not being yourself," Kakyou replied, eyeing Subaru some more, frowning. He didn't like having to see Subaru, as he looked so much like Hokuto. They were twins, afterall. "You're right," Subaru replied, sighing gently to himself. Kakyou tilted his head a little to reveal his glowing cat-like eyes from under the mass of white bangs. "Hokuto was going to take me to see the sea before she died," he revealed, watching Subaru.
Subaru blinked a coupled times, "You're a dreamgazer then?" he asked. He assumed since Kakyou couldn't go to the sea himself, he had to be one. "Yes," Kakyou replied blandly. He didn't really understand how Subaru had just caught on, but he thought best to leave it be. "Where are you?" Subaru replied, watching Kakyou. "Under the government building with the Chi no Ryuu," Kakyou stated softly. "I'm coming. I'll take you to see the sea," Subaru replied, nodding to confirm his words. "Why?" Kakyou inquired, watching Subaru. For a moment there was silence, then Subaru spoke up. "If Hokuto wanted to do it, but she died too soon to, and she died for me, it only seems right that I take you. So I'll take you tomorrow, but may I have some dreamless sleep now, lacking a dreamgazer as well?" Kakyou stared then disappeared.
It seemed like a mere five minutes before Subaru's alarm, set to 9:30, went off. He had reset it, he remembered, but he wished he had set it for later. Oh well, time to get up and start the daily routine. Subaru started for a moment. "I have to take Kakyou to see the ocean," he reminded himself, staring about his large apartment. He grabbed a brush and ran it through his hair then snatched his coat. He wanted to get that done first before he forgot, so he headed toward the government building. It wasn't really a long walk but he was surprised to see Fuuma and Yuuto standing outside waiting for him. "Kakyou said you're going to take him to the sea, yes?" Fuuma turned his head with approval. Behind him Nataku stood. "Why?" Nataku asked. Subaru didn't want to explain so he shook his head and went in.
After a long elevator ride, Subaru came to the underground basement. He made no attempt to scope out the place, instead turning to Fuuma with a questioning gaze. Fuuma pointed at a large bed, and Subaru nodded understanding. He walked over quickly, and looked down at Kakyou who was asleep. He wondered how long the dreamgazer had been that way, but didn't state. He poked Kakyou a couple times to wake him. "Kakyou?" He asked, when Kakyou opened his eyes. "He doesn't speak," Satsuki whispered, hopping out of Beast. Subaru nodded a little, and picked Kakyou up. "Isn't it dangerous to take such a sick person to the beach in winter?" She asked, eyeing Subaru. She loved outsmarting people. "He's wearing a thick kimono, he'll be fine, if need be, I'll wrap my coat around him," Subaru replied, walking past her. Satsuki scowled. How dare he try to outsmart her.
The ride to the beach wasn't long so Subaru road the bus with Kakyou. He wondered why everyone seemed to stare at them, but assumed it was because two men, one looking very sick and depressed, on a bus together was a strange sight. He shrugged, picking up Kakyou when they reached their stop, having not spoken the entire time until then. "This is the beach," Subaru whispered, setting Kakyou on the sand. The waves washed up around the sand near them, sweeping it and its contents back and forth. Subaru sat in the sand and leaned back against his hands, knees arched slightly, whereas Kakyou sat on his legs, staring awe-inspired at the sea. Subaru smiled a bit. He hadn't stopped to think that this was probably Kakyou's first visit. "Are you ready to go? I don't have a lot of time and I don't want to leave you here, but I thought I'd bring you," Subaru purred softly, watching Kakyou nod blankly. He smiled and picked the light haired man up, and carried him home, the entire way walking. It had been a long walk.
By the time they got back, Subaru was exhausted and so he left Kakyou without another word, taking the other man's polite nod as a "thank you" before leaving. He bowed a bit and slipped out again, ignoring Yuuto's taunts, "Girly man, Girly man" and Satsuki's surprised stare. She hadn't expected such a small man to be able to carry someone else for a very long distance, and it was certainly quite a walk from the beach to Tokyo. She shrugged, watching Subaru disappear into the sunset, after glaring darkly at Yuuto for his childish behavior. "What? He started it! Angst-boy," he snarled after Subaru's fading image, a few droplets of rain overtaking the blackening skies and turning the streets into black, swirving rivers. It was going to be a long night.
"Who Are You?"~
"I swear, they were talking right here!" Sorata announced, pointing at the large Sakura Barrow, whose branches were waving slightly in the wind. In the tree, Subaru sat perched, watching the events below. It had been three days since Sorata and he had spoken, and it was approaching New Years. He started to wonder how he'd spend it. He shrugged it off, as more interesting thoughts would arise from what was taken place below his perch. "I can't believe Subaru would betray us," Yuzuriha whispered, eyeing Kamui who seemed very calm. As if he expected this. "I can," he whispered softly, his white shirt billowing in the slight breeze. Subaru was very interested now, as he had expected Kamui to be in total disbelief not utter acceptance. Perhaps there was more to the boy then he let on. "How can you accept it so easily, Kamui?" Arashi asked, and Seiichirou and Karen nodded in agreement. They, too, wanted to know. "Because Subaru is here, and he isn't denying it," Kamui replied, turning to the now shocked Ten no Ryuu.
"Subaru? You're here?" Arashi asked, looking around. Subaru hopped out of the tree and landed on one knee. Might as well not pretend to be oblivious anymore. Kamui turned to Subaru, his eyes filled with hurt, but his face expressionless. So Kamui was going to play the 'I-don't-care' game, was he? Two could play that. "Well, I think Kamui made it a little obvious, now didn't he? Why are you at the Sakura Barrow, discussing my betrayal?" Subaru sounded annoyed. Yuzuriha looked away and Karen hugged her. "How could you?" Seiichirou asked, and Subaru shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Ask Kamui, he has all the answers as of late," Subaru replied cynically. Kamui's eyes flashed painfully and he looked away. So the boy was sensitive to Subaru's betrayal, afterall. "Why don't you tell us?" Karen asked, eyeing Subaru a bit.
"Fine, as you wish. After Seishirou-san's death, I became Sakurazukamori. I was also approached by the Chi no Ryuu's 'Kamui' who told me that Seishirou wanted the damage on my eye undone, so when we left Rainbow Bridge, he went in and got Seishirou's body. He took Seishirou's eye, and he gave it to me, and told me if I used it, I would inherit Seishirou's powers. That would make me a Chi no Ryuu. I had the choice, to use it or not to. I chose to use it, and to do what Seishirou wanted to do before he died," up until that point, Subaru had kept his head down, but at that point he looked up. Sure enough, one eye was honey brown, and the other Subaru's natural emerald. Kamui turned back to Subaru, his violet eyes on the verge of tears. "Did you stop to think how much pain you'd cause Kamui!?" Yuzuriha hissed accusingly. "I knew he'd suffer. But I can't put anyone before myself anymore," Subaru admitted, running one hand through his hair. The sakurazukamori star on his hand shone softly, standing out in the slight shadow created by the Sakura Barrow.
Kamui blinked softly, eyeing the inverted pentagram on Subaru's hands. He sighed softly, and looked away again. Subaru eyed him, making finger motions to him. Kamui understood, Subaru had told him to see him later. "I'm leaving, I don't want to be offended by your rude comments anymore," Subaru whispered, turning and walking away while the others whispered. Kamui watched and turned his head down. His arms were bandaged, and his white shirt was billowing lightly. As Subaru walked, he tilted his head down. He had seen the violet-eyed teenager look so horribly betrayed before, but he couldn't help feeling guilty. He had a job, and he couldn't change that. Not even if he wanted to. "Kamui, forgive me.." he whispered to himself, barely enough to be heard by his own ears. It wasn't until his tears fell onto his own hand that he realized that he had begun crying. He had always been a sensitive and emotional person. "Damn it.." he thought to himself, quickly wiping his eyes. For his sake, and for Kamui's, he had to be strong. He couldn't show Kamui how much the insults that were thrown at him had burnt. He couldn't let them know they had hurt him.
Later that day, just after sundown, Kamui crept to Subaru's apartment. He was really scared, he had never been really comfortable coming to Subaru's house. He didn't think it was his place, after all, Subaru was a grown man and deserved privacy. But Subaru had asked him to come. Not aloud, of course, but with his fingers he motioned, and he could see in Subaru's eyes what he meant. So he knocked, three times, ever-so-gently. Subaru poped his head out the door, and opened it, allowing Kamui to enter. "Kamui, you know that I didn't want to hurt you, right?" he asked softly, watching Kamui stand in the center of the room. He motioned to the bed, "Sit if you'd like." Kamui sat in the middle of the floor. He noticed Kamui often sat in the floor and blinked a couple times. "I didn't think you meant to but.. what you said.. it.." Kamui lost himself in his words so he tilted his head down, closing his violet eyes. Subaru sighed, feeling even more guilty then before. "I didn't mean to upset you, I wanted to make you hate me, so you weren't as hurt by me.. being a dragon of earth. I was also.. upset that you were unphazed," Subaru admitted softly. Kamui looked up, his eyes losing some of the hurt in them.
Subaru fell back onto the bed, dropping his trench coat off his shoulders then fell back against the streets dully. "I'm really sorry, even though that won't change the facts," he whispered, yawning a little. It was starting to get late now, since he and Kamui had decided to take long periods of silence between each response. The face of his alarm flashed 9:23 and he blinked to Kamui. "It's getting late. Do you want me to walk you back home?" Subaru asked dully, half asleep. He hadn't been feeling well, especially since he had stayed up the entire night before.. hunting. "No, I'll go on my own, thanks though.. talk to you later, Subaru," Kamui whispered, standing up. Subaru stood up, to see him to the door. After Kamui was gone, Subaru sighed, and locked the door. He wanted no disturbances this night, as it had already been a day of hell and he didn't want more things to screw it up. He plowed out on his bed, and stared at the picture he kept at his bed side.
The picture was an old one, of Seishirou with clear glasses, smiling brightly from behind the Sumeragi twins. Hokuto had one hand on her hip and Subaru was standing with his arms at his side, smiling. "Such a happy time," Subaru whispered, staring at his sixteen year old self in the picture, "I was happy then... do I deserve to have such happy memories?" He sighed softly, picking the picture up. There was a crack in the glass, Subaru noted, gazing into the picture. He sighed, sliding his fingers over the thin glass before dropping the picture. It fell with a clunk against the carpet, and Subaru turned his attention up to the picture that he had gotten from Karen, Yuzuriha, and Arashi for Christmas. He looked down and wondered if he was even worthy of looking at such a thoughtful gift. He sighed, and fell against his sheets again. He felt like he was nearing the point of tears, so he buried his face in his pillow. He was determined to go to sleep, if only to escape the pains of being awake.
"What would Hokuto say?" a voice asked Subaru. He looked around the blackness, where obsticles float, and blinked a couple times. "Who's there?" Subaru asked, wondering where he was. "This is a dream, you're asleep," the voice replied. Subaru swung around quickly to notice a man with long white hair sitting on a circular object resembling earth, that was floating in the air. He didn't recognize him. "Who are you?" he repeated, eyeing the man on the globe. "Kakyou. Kuzuki Kakyou." Kakyou replied, eyeing Subaru a bit. "You knew Hokuto?" Subaru asked softly, watching Kakyou a bit. Kakyou nodded softly, barely moving. "I knew Hokuto some. She was special, to me, and to you. She cared a lot about you, and she'd support almost any choice you made, Subaru. Any choice but the one to be someone you're not, and you're not being yourself," Kakyou replied, eyeing Subaru some more, frowning. He didn't like having to see Subaru, as he looked so much like Hokuto. They were twins, afterall. "You're right," Subaru replied, sighing gently to himself. Kakyou tilted his head a little to reveal his glowing cat-like eyes from under the mass of white bangs. "Hokuto was going to take me to see the sea before she died," he revealed, watching Subaru.
Subaru blinked a coupled times, "You're a dreamgazer then?" he asked. He assumed since Kakyou couldn't go to the sea himself, he had to be one. "Yes," Kakyou replied blandly. He didn't really understand how Subaru had just caught on, but he thought best to leave it be. "Where are you?" Subaru replied, watching Kakyou. "Under the government building with the Chi no Ryuu," Kakyou stated softly. "I'm coming. I'll take you to see the sea," Subaru replied, nodding to confirm his words. "Why?" Kakyou inquired, watching Subaru. For a moment there was silence, then Subaru spoke up. "If Hokuto wanted to do it, but she died too soon to, and she died for me, it only seems right that I take you. So I'll take you tomorrow, but may I have some dreamless sleep now, lacking a dreamgazer as well?" Kakyou stared then disappeared.
It seemed like a mere five minutes before Subaru's alarm, set to 9:30, went off. He had reset it, he remembered, but he wished he had set it for later. Oh well, time to get up and start the daily routine. Subaru started for a moment. "I have to take Kakyou to see the ocean," he reminded himself, staring about his large apartment. He grabbed a brush and ran it through his hair then snatched his coat. He wanted to get that done first before he forgot, so he headed toward the government building. It wasn't really a long walk but he was surprised to see Fuuma and Yuuto standing outside waiting for him. "Kakyou said you're going to take him to the sea, yes?" Fuuma turned his head with approval. Behind him Nataku stood. "Why?" Nataku asked. Subaru didn't want to explain so he shook his head and went in.
After a long elevator ride, Subaru came to the underground basement. He made no attempt to scope out the place, instead turning to Fuuma with a questioning gaze. Fuuma pointed at a large bed, and Subaru nodded understanding. He walked over quickly, and looked down at Kakyou who was asleep. He wondered how long the dreamgazer had been that way, but didn't state. He poked Kakyou a couple times to wake him. "Kakyou?" He asked, when Kakyou opened his eyes. "He doesn't speak," Satsuki whispered, hopping out of Beast. Subaru nodded a little, and picked Kakyou up. "Isn't it dangerous to take such a sick person to the beach in winter?" She asked, eyeing Subaru. She loved outsmarting people. "He's wearing a thick kimono, he'll be fine, if need be, I'll wrap my coat around him," Subaru replied, walking past her. Satsuki scowled. How dare he try to outsmart her.
The ride to the beach wasn't long so Subaru road the bus with Kakyou. He wondered why everyone seemed to stare at them, but assumed it was because two men, one looking very sick and depressed, on a bus together was a strange sight. He shrugged, picking up Kakyou when they reached their stop, having not spoken the entire time until then. "This is the beach," Subaru whispered, setting Kakyou on the sand. The waves washed up around the sand near them, sweeping it and its contents back and forth. Subaru sat in the sand and leaned back against his hands, knees arched slightly, whereas Kakyou sat on his legs, staring awe-inspired at the sea. Subaru smiled a bit. He hadn't stopped to think that this was probably Kakyou's first visit. "Are you ready to go? I don't have a lot of time and I don't want to leave you here, but I thought I'd bring you," Subaru purred softly, watching Kakyou nod blankly. He smiled and picked the light haired man up, and carried him home, the entire way walking. It had been a long walk.
By the time they got back, Subaru was exhausted and so he left Kakyou without another word, taking the other man's polite nod as a "thank you" before leaving. He bowed a bit and slipped out again, ignoring Yuuto's taunts, "Girly man, Girly man" and Satsuki's surprised stare. She hadn't expected such a small man to be able to carry someone else for a very long distance, and it was certainly quite a walk from the beach to Tokyo. She shrugged, watching Subaru disappear into the sunset, after glaring darkly at Yuuto for his childish behavior. "What? He started it! Angst-boy," he snarled after Subaru's fading image, a few droplets of rain overtaking the blackening skies and turning the streets into black, swirving rivers. It was going to be a long night.