Regret-
Sumeragi Subaru stood behind a pole, eyes focused distantly on the trees he was facing, but his ears perked. He was listening to a conversation between the Ten no Ryuu, his former "team" mates, though he never really considered them a "team". More like a group of misfits shoved together to decide to fate of the world. "Sorata, I don't think.." Yuzuriha began, but was cut off by Sorata raising his hand. "Well, we need to find out where they will attack next, don't we? And Subaru would know, wouldn't he? So I say we send Kamui to ask. I don't think he'd deny Kamui any information," Sorata turned to a nodding Arashi to confirm. Subaru narrowed his eyes. So they intended to use his pity for Kamui, did they? The thought made him mad. He rubbed the gauze over his eye. He had recently had Seishirou's golden one put in to replace his glass one, and the area was still rather sensitive. He wondered if the pain was what made him so angry. "No," he thought to himself, "the fact that they intend to use me is what makes me mad. Do they think themselves so high and mighty?" He turned to see Kamui shaking his head. "I won't do it. Subaru isn't a toy, do you intend for me to treat him like one?" the violet-eyed teenager glared slightly, the wind blowing his white shirt and ebony hair lightly to his left. He really did look mysterious when the wind did that, Subaru confirmed to himself. Then, he smiled.
"At least someone actually realizes I'm not the naive fool that I used to be," Subaru whispered, the wind carrying his voice enough for the Ten no Ryuu to hear. All but Kamui jumped, and Kamui turned to the pole. "How long have you been listening?" he asked calmly, not surprised. Subaru walked out from behind the pole slightly, coat billowing behind him. "Long enough," he answered. Sorata narrowed his eyes and Arashi streached her left arm out slightly, palm facing upwards, ready to attack if needed. Yuzuriha just blinked, while Seiichirou and Karen stayed silent, watching Subaru. So they were together again. Kamui looked at Subaru searchingly. "Your eye.." he began and Subaru waved him off. "Seishirou-san's. Don't ask anymore then that," he replied. Kamui sighed and looked away. Subaru's sudden attitude change had upset him, but he had no intentions of letting the onmyouji know that, if he could help it. He sighed softly. "Will you tell us on your own will, Subaru?" Kamui asked.
"Why, right here," Yuuto's voice answered from atop a tree. Next to him, wires rapidly moved, informing them that Satsuki was there as well. Wonderful. "Miss, why are you here?" Kusanagi's voice asked from a perch on a bench, next to Nataku who was standing silently. To their left, Fuuma stood, smiling somewhat innocently. The thought of Fuuma being innocent sent chills down Kamui's spine. Subaru smiled. "You're not the only ones who can set a trap," Subaru confirmed, pointing at the Chi no Ryuu. Kamui turned to him, his violet-eyes wide and hurt. He wondered just how far Subaru would betray him. "You above all should understand, Kamui," Subaru said without thinking. He didn't need to explain, he knew the younger boy would understand what he meant. Of course he would. The two had a lot in common. Subaru sighed. "Seishirou-san, Hokuto-chan.. I miss you two so much.." Subaru thought, looking down at the ground, his white trench coat billowing a bit gently. He shivered.
"Kusanagi!" Yuzuriha squealed happily. She was always joyous to see him. Seeing her happiness made Subaru want to throttle her. He narrowed his eyes a bit. Kamui watched him closely, his eyes threatening to spill sapphire tears down his pale cheeks. Subaru looked away. He couldn't stand to see Kamui cry, it made him think of his own pain, and loneliness. He knew he couldn't take it if Kamui were to burst into tears right now so he glared. "Are you such a child? Grow up, Kamui," he snarled, trying to make the boy angry instead of sad, but the insult was fired without real scorn, and Kamui seemed to sense it. Sorata did too. "You don't really hate Kamui, you can't even bare to see him cry. Who's the weakling now, Subaru?" Sorata teased, and Subaru turned to glare daggers at him. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to?!" Subaru replied without thinking. He had lost his temper, and he had let it be known. He suddenly had the urge to slaughter Sorata. Yuzuriha closed her eyes, and a cylinder shaped green light formed between her hands and she released it, sealing them inside a kekkai.
Instinctively, Subaru slung five ofuda around Sorata, forming a star, then put his index fingers together, twining his remaining fingers together, eyes narrowed. A dark light slung around Sorata, pulling at his skin, cutting into the flesh to leave cuts all over his arms and legs, while Subaru glared still, stern in his concentration. Kamui couldn't withhold a gasp, but when he went to stop Subaru, he was pinned to a wall. Fuuma, of course, had caught him. "Do you think Subaru will save you this time, Kamui?" Fuuma teased, running his nose along Kamui's fragile neck. The smaller boy shivered and struggled a bit in Fuuma's grip, but to no avail. He was caught.
Meanwhile, Yuuto and Karen were duking it out with fire and water, causing quite a ruckus inside the kekkai. Seiichirou and Nataku were fighting as well, Seiichirou slinging his arms about creating a large whirl-wind, and Nataku wrapping the other in the cloth he was often seen with. Kusanagi and Yuzuriha were looking at each other sadly. They didn't want to fight. Arashi jumped up, as if hearing Yuzuriha's silent thoughts, and started slashing her sword at Kusanagi's vines. The two began to fly around, fighting energy with energy. Satsuki silently told Beast to attack, and the super computer oblidged, sending wires at Yuzuriha who was saved by Inuki.
Subaru's eyes remained focused as he stared at Sorata. "Who are you, Subaru? You're not the Subaru we knew. Are you doing this for Seishirou? But he's dead. Would he want you to do this? You've lost you--" Sorata was cut off by a sudden burst of energy causing his body to tremor. "What do you mean, who am I doing this for, who am I?" Subaru dropped his hands, releasing Sorata. He wanted to know what the other man meant. Sorata looked up, his eyes painful. "The Subaru we knew, would never hurt Kamui. Ever. You are not the same Subaru, you are.. a monster," Sorata whispered.
"Let's go, the kekkai is falling, and we have what we came for," Fuuma revealed, holding up an unconscious Kamui, limp and almost lifeless in his arms. Subaru's eyes fell to Yuzuriha who was holding her chest in pain as her kekkai fell. She had wires strung throughout her chest. Silently, Subaru wondered if she'd survive. He shivered. He hoped she would. "I'm a monster, that's right. A monster who has nothing left," Subaru lied. He didn't understand what he was told, but he had a feeling it was right. He had become someone he wasn't. He wondered if he could ever change back into the person they had known. He silently hoped he could. Turning away from the scene before his eyes, he started off with the Chi no Ryuu.
The walk wasn't far, but it seemed like an eternity. He couldn't stand to see Kamui lay so lifeless. So.. so hopeless. He sighed. He wondered if that's how he looked after Seishirou's death. "What do you intend to do with him?" Subaru asked, looking at the boy. "Well, actually.." Fuuma paused, then smiled ever-so-slightly. "I intend to kill him. Slow, and painfully," he finished. Subaru looked away. He didn't like that thought. Something about it didn't sit well inside of him, and he thought if he had eaten he'd have probably been sick. He sighed. "All right.." he replied, trying to hide the pain in his voice. He shivered lightly again. Something Sorata had said unnerved him. They reached the underground basement of the government building in almost no-time, so Subaru had time to sit down. He felt dizzy, and disoriented. Something inside of him said this wasn't right, but he couldn't figure out why. He turned to watch Fuuma.
The Chi no Ryuu's 'Kamui' had strung Shirou Kamui up on a large cross-like object. Subaru wondered where it came from silently to himself, watching Kamui struggle limply against the stone. He suddenly felt an urge to pull Kamui off and carry him away. He wondered why. "Can't you let some of his wounds heal..?" Subaru heard himself ask. He felt a sudden sympathy with Kamui. The only person he had left to talk to. He looked down. "Seishirou-san, why did you leave me? How could you? I'm so lonely.." he thought to himself, closing his eyes. Fuuma didn't reply, he simply walked to Kamui. "Go rest," he whispered. Subaru looked up, eyes almost tear-filled. He nodded softly, and stood up.
The walk home wasn't far but it was nearly midnight and Subaru realized his arms were covered in slight bruises, purpling by the night air. He trembled, walking with his arms wrapped around his thin figure, head bowed in the slight rain. He didn't care too much that he was wet. What worried him was the conflict in his heart. It seemed like he was always unsure of how he felt. He sighed softly, looking up at his apartment building. He climbed into his room almost instantly, as it wasn't that high up, or far from the entrance. Sitting on his bed, he stared to a picture on the floor. The Ten no Ryuu. He frowned, seeing Kamui's look of angst, so like the look Kamui had given him earlier that day. He looked down, then fell backwards onto his bed, closing his eyes, clenching them, forcing himself to sleep.
"She'd hate you for that. Seishirou would too," Kakyou's familiar cat-like eyes flashed as he loomed over Subaru, telling Subaru he was in a dream. "For what?" Subaru replied, eyes still faint, confused. "For letting Kamui down. She'd say 'Did I ever let you down?' and you'd answer 'You left me' but she'd say 'But, Subaru, I am always with you. He needs you' and you'd look at her confused," Kakyou answered. Subaru blinked innocently, truly lost. "You are like Hokuto, in many ways. Not just looks, either. She watched over you, and you watch over Kamui. She never left you, yet you left him. She would be mad at you for that," Kakyou nodded lightly. Subaru jerked away. "Just leave me alone."
The scene around him faded, and Subaru blinked. Around him was the familiar scent of the sakura, and fallen blossoms touched his shoulders and body, around his feet and faintly across the scenery. In the distance he saw the familiar tree, the biggest in all of Ueno Park, and truly the most magnificant. The Sakura Barrow. It was swaying lightly, so he started off toward it, blinking casually. He had never seen it in a dream before. He wondered if he was awake yet. He came to a hault infront of the tree, looking up at it. Something splashed against his forehead, and he touched his fingers to it then looked at them. Red. Blood. He turned his head up to see Seishirou's familiar figure in the tree above him. His eyes widened and he gasped.
"You amaze me, Subaru-kun," Seishirou's familiar voice, his eyes staring down. Subaru felt the tears in his eyes slip down his pale cheeks. How he longed to grab Seishirou and hug him as tight as his arms would allow. He restrained himself, listening to what the other onmyouji had to say. "Kakyou's right, you know. You left Kamui. In response, you left a part of yourself. You lost the innocent mixture of purity and power that I fell in love with that day seventeen years ago under this tree. You lost the part of you, that made you who you are," the dark onmyouji explained, hopping from the tree to spread a bit of blood across Subaru's cheek. "Is that what Sorata meant, Seishirou-san?" Subaru asked, closing his eyes. He felt truly alone at that moment. "Correct. He's right, too. You know what you need to do, right? You need to do what 'Subaru' would do, not what I would do, or what Hokuto would do. You need to be yourself. You need to be Sumeragi Subaru, Subaru-kun," Seishirou explained. He started to back away and Subaru's eyes widened. "Don't leave me!" he pleaded and Seishirou shook his head. "I haven't, Subaru-kun, I'm always here. But I can't stay forever, or you'll never wake up. Good-bye, Subaru-kun," Seishirou's form started to fade, then disappeared all together.
Subaru was starting to feel like Scrooge on Christmas, visited by Seishirou, afterall. He looked around the scene. It was no longer the comforting Sakura, but his old apartment. He blinked, staring about the room. It was so strange, to see this room. He sighed. His apartment of nine years ago. When she was still alive. He looked around, and had a feeling she had come, too. "Hokuto-chan," he whispered softly. "You know, Subaru, Sei-chan is usually not that sympathetic. Doesn't that tell you something? Doesn't that tell you how upset we are at you? And look at how you're dressing! And your hair! And you're so skinny! But that's not why I've come. I've missed you, but that is also not why I have come. You know why I am here, and you know what I am going to say to you. Subaru," Hokuto's voice was like a melody Subaru's heart had longed to hear, and he turned around to see her, still eternally sixteen, perfect in his onmyouji uniform, frowning at him. He wanted to grab her and hug her, but he made no effort to move. "Hokuto-chan..." he started. "You betrayed Kamui. How could you? What has happened to you? Subaru. I want you to go back, and I want you to set Kamui free, help him. Rescue him. Even a part of you is telling you to. Remember, we're twins, I can read you like a book. You want to, too. So why are you sleeping? Is it because you wanted to see Sei-chan and I? But we came. You saw us. Are you going to save him now?" Hokuto turned her head slightly. She was very angry with Subaru, but she knew she couldn't force him to do so. She only had one way to make him do what she wanted, and that was to make him see that it was what he wanted too. She smiled at the nod of his head. "Then wake up, brother, and help him. He needs you," Hokuto replied, standing on her tip-toes to kiss Subaru's forehead. She smiled sadly at him, then faded away. Subaru shivered, and closed his eyes softly, feeling the scene around him fade into infinite blackness, the closest thing to death: Sleep.