Forever was in Your Eyes
July 1996
"Landon, is something wrong?" Jamie asked, her eyes staring at him inquisitively.
She had just walked Dean out the front door, and when she turned around she saw Landon just sitting in the living room with an almost blank look on his face. 'It's kind of odd,' Jamie thought to herself. 'He's usually the one asking me if something is wrong.' But she logged that thought in the back of her mind and turned her attention back to Landon.
"Huh, oh, it's nothing sweetie. Don't worry about me," Landon replied. He had fallen so deep into thought that he didn't realize Jamie had shut the door already.
Landon got up and hugged Jamie close to him, as if reassuring her again.
"I'm fine, really. And honestly, you have enough to worry about without having to deal with me and my moments"
"Okay Landon, but you know I worry about you anyways."
"No no, really sweetheart. I'm doing just fine. Are you up for something to eat?"
"Hmmm… maybe a little bit," Jamie said with a smile on her face.
As he was doing the dishes after dinner, Landon's mind raced. He couldn't believe himself for not thinking of it sooner. Of course he had to apologize! After all, people who barely even knew Jamie were coming by to say they were sorry. Why wouldn't her own husband have even more of a reason to tell her how sorry he was for all the things cruel things he had done to her in school? Landon knew he was probably only going to get one shot at apologizing to Jamie, so he began thinking back as far as he could remember. All the way back to kindergarten, when he had first met Jamie Sullivan. He tried his best to remember every detail, everything he had ever done to Jamie that he regretted. Every word, every action.
It hurt him to recall how unjust he was to the girl who would eventually become the love of his life. Tears came to his eyes as he stood over the kitchen sink, the spatula in his hand half-forgotten. Landon held back the tears, telling himself that Jamie deserved this from him more than anyone else in the world. 'Jamie is worth the pain,' Landon reminded himself. 'She's worth more to me than everything I'll ever have in this world.' He continued to think, making a mental note of everything he had done that required an apology. He didn't hear Jamie come up behind him, and he didn't realize she was there until she wrapped her arms gently around his waist.
"Hey honey, are you all good to go here?" Jamie whispered into his ear.
Landon turned his head, smiling. "Yeah, the dishes are all set. What do you say we turn in early tonight?"
"As long as you're there with me, I'd love it."
Landon didn't fall asleep immediately that night. Instead, he lied awake and watched Jamie sleep. He watched as the moonlight shone through the window and danced off her skin. He smiled, marveling at her beauty, a beauty that never ceased to amaze him. Those were the images that drifted across his mind's eye as he finally let sleep overtake him.
August 4, 1996
After attending church, Landon helped Jamie upstairs to their bedroom. Her time was winding down, and they both knew it. Jamie insisted, however, that she continue to live her life like normal. That included going to church. After they had changed out of their Sunday clothes, Landon took Jamie's hand and led her to the bed. He indicated for Jamie to sit down, which she did.
"Jamie, sweetie, I need to talk to you," Landon began nervously.
"About what Landon?" Even then, Jamie's voice never lost that innocent, inquisitive shimmer.
"I…. ah, I need to apologize."
"Why sweetheart? You haven't done anything wrong."
"Yes, I have… I need to apologize for all the mean things I did to you in the past."
"Oh Landon… you know I've already …"
"No, Jamie, please. Just hear me out on this. Please. Because if I don't do this, and you leave me… I don't think I could ever live with myself."
Jamie was silent, but she smiled at Landon and nodded.
Landon sighed and continued. "I guess I should start at the very beginning. And I mean the very, very beginning. I'm sorry for teasing you and for being a little punk when we were in kindergarten. I was wrong for making fun of you when you prayed. I'm sorry, when we were in elementary school…"
And so Landon continued. He apologized for all the little things he had ever done, for every single time he had made fun of her. He went all the way from their past to the present. As he drew nearer and nearer to their senior year, his eyes began to fill with tears.
"I'm sorry for pretending that I knew you, that I understood who you were. I'm sorry… for all the things I said to you our senior year. When you asked me if it would kill me to try, and I told you that 'I'm too young to die', or when you told me that without suffering there would be no compassion and I said you should 'Tell that to those who suffer', I didn't know what I was talking about. I was so wrong Jamie. I didn't know… but even then I shouldn't have said the things I said. I assumed too much, I pretended like I was someone I wasn't. I'm sorry for blowing you off in front of the lockers, and I'm sorry for being ashamed to be seen with you. I was such a fool! I spent my life looking for that right girl who would make me feel special and complete. And all this time, you were right in front of me. You were only a few blocks down the street. And I looked right by you. If I had only known…"
Landon broke down, and fell to his knees in front of Jamie as he sobbed. "Please Jamie, please forgive me. I've been such a terrible person… I don't deserve you."
Landon looked up, and through teary eyes he saw tears slip down Jamie's face. She reached down to him, and gently pulled him up to her. Jamie wrapped her arms around him and they both wept together. Landon looked at her face again, and when he saw the tears running from her lovely eyes…
It was almost like…
July 1996
"Landon, is something wrong?" Jamie asked, her eyes staring at him inquisitively.
She had just walked Dean out the front door, and when she turned around she saw Landon just sitting in the living room with an almost blank look on his face. 'It's kind of odd,' Jamie thought to herself. 'He's usually the one asking me if something is wrong.' But she logged that thought in the back of her mind and turned her attention back to Landon.
"Huh, oh, it's nothing sweetie. Don't worry about me," Landon replied. He had fallen so deep into thought that he didn't realize Jamie had shut the door already.
Landon got up and hugged Jamie close to him, as if reassuring her again.
"I'm fine, really. And honestly, you have enough to worry about without having to deal with me and my moments"
"Okay Landon, but you know I worry about you anyways."
"No no, really sweetheart. I'm doing just fine. Are you up for something to eat?"
"Hmmm… maybe a little bit," Jamie said with a smile on her face.
As he was doing the dishes after dinner, Landon's mind raced. He couldn't believe himself for not thinking of it sooner. Of course he had to apologize! After all, people who barely even knew Jamie were coming by to say they were sorry. Why wouldn't her own husband have even more of a reason to tell her how sorry he was for all the things cruel things he had done to her in school? Landon knew he was probably only going to get one shot at apologizing to Jamie, so he began thinking back as far as he could remember. All the way back to kindergarten, when he had first met Jamie Sullivan. He tried his best to remember every detail, everything he had ever done to Jamie that he regretted. Every word, every action.
It hurt him to recall how unjust he was to the girl who would eventually become the love of his life. Tears came to his eyes as he stood over the kitchen sink, the spatula in his hand half-forgotten. Landon held back the tears, telling himself that Jamie deserved this from him more than anyone else in the world. 'Jamie is worth the pain,' Landon reminded himself. 'She's worth more to me than everything I'll ever have in this world.' He continued to think, making a mental note of everything he had done that required an apology. He didn't hear Jamie come up behind him, and he didn't realize she was there until she wrapped her arms gently around his waist.
"Hey honey, are you all good to go here?" Jamie whispered into his ear.
Landon turned his head, smiling. "Yeah, the dishes are all set. What do you say we turn in early tonight?"
"As long as you're there with me, I'd love it."
Landon didn't fall asleep immediately that night. Instead, he lied awake and watched Jamie sleep. He watched as the moonlight shone through the window and danced off her skin. He smiled, marveling at her beauty, a beauty that never ceased to amaze him. Those were the images that drifted across his mind's eye as he finally let sleep overtake him.
August 4, 1996
After attending church, Landon helped Jamie upstairs to their bedroom. Her time was winding down, and they both knew it. Jamie insisted, however, that she continue to live her life like normal. That included going to church. After they had changed out of their Sunday clothes, Landon took Jamie's hand and led her to the bed. He indicated for Jamie to sit down, which she did.
"Jamie, sweetie, I need to talk to you," Landon began nervously.
"About what Landon?" Even then, Jamie's voice never lost that innocent, inquisitive shimmer.
"I…. ah, I need to apologize."
"Why sweetheart? You haven't done anything wrong."
"Yes, I have… I need to apologize for all the mean things I did to you in the past."
"Oh Landon… you know I've already …"
"No, Jamie, please. Just hear me out on this. Please. Because if I don't do this, and you leave me… I don't think I could ever live with myself."
Jamie was silent, but she smiled at Landon and nodded.
Landon sighed and continued. "I guess I should start at the very beginning. And I mean the very, very beginning. I'm sorry for teasing you and for being a little punk when we were in kindergarten. I was wrong for making fun of you when you prayed. I'm sorry, when we were in elementary school…"
And so Landon continued. He apologized for all the little things he had ever done, for every single time he had made fun of her. He went all the way from their past to the present. As he drew nearer and nearer to their senior year, his eyes began to fill with tears.
"I'm sorry for pretending that I knew you, that I understood who you were. I'm sorry… for all the things I said to you our senior year. When you asked me if it would kill me to try, and I told you that 'I'm too young to die', or when you told me that without suffering there would be no compassion and I said you should 'Tell that to those who suffer', I didn't know what I was talking about. I was so wrong Jamie. I didn't know… but even then I shouldn't have said the things I said. I assumed too much, I pretended like I was someone I wasn't. I'm sorry for blowing you off in front of the lockers, and I'm sorry for being ashamed to be seen with you. I was such a fool! I spent my life looking for that right girl who would make me feel special and complete. And all this time, you were right in front of me. You were only a few blocks down the street. And I looked right by you. If I had only known…"
Landon broke down, and fell to his knees in front of Jamie as he sobbed. "Please Jamie, please forgive me. I've been such a terrible person… I don't deserve you."
Landon looked up, and through teary eyes he saw tears slip down Jamie's face. She reached down to him, and gently pulled him up to her. Jamie wrapped her arms around him and they both wept together. Landon looked at her face again, and when he saw the tears running from her lovely eyes…
It was almost like…