(sheesh, I can't believe all the typos in that last chapter… that's what I get for posting it as soon as I was finished writing it… sorry
and as a side note: I can't for the life of me remember what ever happened to good ol' Kate so I'm reinstating her with the LAPD as a detective)
The emergency room was blessedly sparsely populated when Angel pulled the convertible up to the entrance. He glanced quickly at Wesley, telling him wordlessly to help Cordelia into the building so he could find a parking place in the garage. He flinched when she jumped at Wesley's touch, tamping down the need to rip something, or someone, apart.
"Wes, call Fred, let her know I'll be out until later. Maybe find Gunn and see if he'll go back to the hotel until this is over."
Wesley glanced back over his shoulder. "I'll go, once you park the car. I'll return to the hotel and explain things to Fred."
Angel nodded, pulling away from the curb as the pair entered the sliding glass doors. He'd already placed a call to Kate and she had begrudgingly agreed to meet them there although she was still uninformed as to the circumstances… but then again, Angel himself wasn't exactly sure what the circumstances were. He just hoped she could manage to get Cordy to tell her what had occurred.
He found them in the triage room, Wesley and Cordelia, while a nurse silently took Cordy's blood pressure. She was nearly unresponsive as the graying nurse gently unwrapped the cuff from her upper arm. The nurse turned to Angel as he approached.
"Your friend said you'd be staying here with Miss Chase while he saw to some matters. We'll have you in an exam room just as soon as I can find an empty one. In the mean time, you're welcome to remain here." She ducked out of the tiny room with its quiet occupants and over abundance of medical equipment as soon as she had finished writing down her notes in Cordelia's file.
Wesley knelt down next to Cordelia, gently touching her knee. "I need to make sure Fred is all right, but I'll return if you would like me to."
"No, go home and get some sleep. I'll be okay," she murmured to the speckled tiles of the floor.
Mouthing to Angel that he would return, Wesley placed a soft, chaste kiss against the top of her head and departed for the Hyperion, finding himself once again in the position of relaying delicate information, and again not knowing how he was going to proceed.
As soon as he was gone, Angel pulled the rolling stool across the cramped space to rest directly in front of her. The harsh lighting of the room provided no comforting shadows for the bruises and abrasions to be hidden by, nor did the capped sleeves or scooped neckline of Cordelia's shirt. Bruises the shape and size of fingers stained her arms and neck, her head was ducked at such an angle it was impossible to tell how severely her face had been marred. His thoughts ran back to what he had seen in the paleness of her bedroom and he was suddenly unsure he wanted to know the truth of it all.
She didn't give him the chance when she finally raised her head, her eyes seeking out his in the foreign landscape of the triage room. "I wanna go home," her voice croaked, breaking from exhaustion and fear.
"When this is over I'll take you back to the hotel. You can stay there for a while, just until you're able to get along on your own."
She shook her head at Angel's suggestion. "That's not home, Angel."
"I remember one time that you liked staying there." Angel tried to keep his voice light, attempting to alleviate some of the heaviness that rested so securely on her head.
"That's only because it had fewer cockroaches. I've got Dennis now, he'll take care of me," she insisted.
"We'll talk about it later, Cordy." Angel looked toward the door before the nurse opened it, watching as her concerned face appeared in the doorway.
"Miss Chase? We've got a private examination room for you now. Do you need any help getting there?"
She shook her head, allowing Angel to help her stand with a minimum of panic flooding through her. She followed the nurse down the hallway, Angel trailing after her.
"I just received a call from the LAPD, a detective Kate Lockley said to let you know she would be here soon." The nurse glanced up at the brooding man who hovered over her patient. "She was unclear as to what was being reported and asked for a brief background. She then said to tell you she was sorry for being difficult before and that you should said something."
Angel nodded in response, holding the door to the exam room open for Cordelia to enter and listening to the instructions the soft-spoken nurse relayed. This would be the worst part of the entire ordeal Cordelia was being put through and he was left completely clueless as to how to respond.
In the end, he needn't have worried. Between the nurse's directions and Cordelia's own wishes, he was deprived of his own free will, though not reluctantly. When Cordelia changed into the hospital gown, he turned his back because she asked him to stay. When the doctor arrived, Angel held Cordelia's hand because the nurse mentioned it might make her a bit more at ease. When Kate showed up, he stood in a corner of the room, quietly listening to the hushed tones of the women's conversation but maintaining a calming and secure presence.
When Cordelia was at last given permission to leave the hospital, he was pleased to see that not only Wesley was waiting for them but also Gunn and even Fred. He wondered briefly how Fred had handled the foray to the hospital but that thought was crushed aside when Cordelia came to a dead stop in the middle of the waiting room when she too saw them.
Cordelia's breath caught at the sight of the three of them sitting in the uncomfortable chairs, worry lining their faces as they waited for her. This was not happening, this was all wrong. She was supposed to hide out at her apartment for a few days, at least long enough for the bruises to fade, claiming to have the flu and letting Dennis pamper her a bit. Then maybe she would be able to return to work with no one the wiser. None of them were supposed to find out what had happened.
So far only Angel knew the specifics, well Angel and Kate. But Kate was a police detective; it was her job to keep secrets. Angel, she was relatively sure, would keep quiet about what she had said. But 'relatively sure' wasn't much of a comfort when she was standing in front of the only four people she could claim as friends or family.
"So, you're cleared to leave then?" Wesley asked, rising from the hard plastic of the chair. "I was able to obtain a parking slot near the entrance."
Angel nodded, maintaining his grip on Cordelia's elbow when he felt her pull away from the group. They needed to get out of the hospital and clear all their minds of the scent of antiseptic and illness. "Let's go."
Cordelia allowed Angel to gently pull her along to the car, noting that the sky was still pitch black as they stepped out into the cool night air. It was still night, less than a day had passed and yet she felt as if she had aged years in the time since the last vision.
She felt numb, absolutely numb. The air was cool but it didn't register with her brain, nor did the drastic change in lighting from the bright emergency entrance to the shadowed garage. She stumbled across the asphalt, half pulled, half guided. Nothing registered with her senses, not since she had lain on the cold examination bench allowing the doctor to perform his job. She had blocked it all out, shut down all extraneous emotions and senses. Even talking to Kate hadn't changed that.
Kate. How long had it been since she'd last seen the police officer? Before Angel fired them… after? She couldn't remember. The change in the other woman's expression, in the depths of her eyes, disturbed Cordelia. She didn't want sympathy, she didn't even want compassion and understanding; what she did want was to be left alone in her own apartment surrounded by no one. She definitely didn't want people who barely tolerated her presence before to start worrying about her. She got enough of that with Angel.
She didn't know where that thought came from. Angel was her friend, was her best friend…
But her relationship with him had changed from what it had been in Sunnydale, sure it had. When she had been in high school, she'd lusted after him… from a safe distance once she discovered he was a vampire, but lusted after him all the same. And he had categorized her in with the group of Buffy's friends who he didn't need or want to waste his time with.
When they had run into each other at the party in LA, things had been no different. Sure, he ended up saving her from becoming steak tartar, but he hadn't done it because of any devotion to her specifically. He had just been going after the vampire of the week. She had forced herself into his life, invaded his home and office, ordered him about and had not taken no for an answer. He was no different than the Scoobies back in Sunnydale. He only tolerated her now because she gave him no choice.
Angel looked across the car at Wesley as the man unlocked the doors and allowed them all entrance. Opening the door, he released Cordelia's arm for a second before ushering her into the backseat and claiming a place next to her, letting the remaining three to sit in the front. He was growing more and more concerned with his friend's behavior. Cordelia had been becoming progressively more withdrawn ever since they had arrived at the hospital. He only hoped that once she was back at the Hyperion, she would be able to overcome some of that emotional wall and let him help her.
No one said a word during the short drive home; even Fred was gratefully silent as they maneuvered through the night-filled streets.
Once Angel had settled Cordelia in his own bed, and watched as she had drifted into a fitful sleep, he silently left the room, allowing her the privacy of her slumber as he fought to come to terms with all that he now knew.
Fred sat in the kitchen, uncharacteristically silent as she scooped up lo mein from a take-out box she'd fished out of the refrigerator. Wesley sat next to her at the table, sipping tea and staring blankly at a book that rested in front of him on the tabletop. Only Gunn paced restlessly, unable to sit quietly in the aftermath of the evening.
Not wanting company, Angel ascended the stairs, taking the steps two at a time in his haste to avoid his friends. An open balcony door allowed him entrance to the hushed night as his thoughts roiled tumultuously through his head. In all the time he had been in LA with Cordelia's constant presence in his life, he had never had to consider the true darker side of humanity.
All of those they worked to defeat were evil through demonic influence of some kind, even the lawyers at Wolfram and Hart had their finger dabbling in the demon realms, with the singular exception of Ryan Anderson but he had only been a child. But this… this thing that had attacked Cordy… It wasn't a demon, it wasn't even possessed, it was just one of humanity's own special brand of scum. This thing is what he worked every day to protect, among all the multitudes of innocent humans.
All of a sudden, his impending redemption meant nothing if it meant that he had to sacrifice the welfare of those he loved to the dregs of human society. Cordelia's visions left her vulnerable to attack. He was the reason she got the visions in the first place, and he had to leave her alone in the wake of the mind-shattering revelations… leave her to be prey for anyone who might be wandering by. He wouldn't abandon her like that again, he couldn't.
The PTB be damned. He refused to sacrifice an innocent girl just to please them.
His fist slammed into the stonewall, sending a shower of crumbling rock and mortar to the street below and radiating pain through his arm. Pain was good, it was real and controllable, not just a game played by mystical powers who didn't seem to care who was injured in the process of their playing.
A sharp cry from within the hotel brought his thoughts away from his own torment and he dashed back inside, his need to reach Cordelia's side outweighing his desire to be alone. He guessed they would both have to make adjustments. Neither one of them, neither he nor Cordy, wanted to be among others after what had happened, and yet they were presented with no other option.
Nightmares were nothing new to him. He'd experienced more than he could remember after he'd been cursed with his soul and knew the agony they could produce. There was no telling however, what it was like to be the victim of an attack. He had always been the victimizer.
to be continued…