A/N: yes I know!! Another Chapter! This is it for a few though, cuz I have some stuff coming up. Enjoy. Please let me know what you think. I love you all.
Dear Lily,
Guess who? That's right. How are you? I'm all right, considering the circumstances. I'm writing for the specific intent of asking if you'll come visit me this summer. I know that you probably hate me now. I would too. But I would like to say that I have sincerely changed. They have me on medication and going to therapy twice a week. A year ago, I probably would've killed you if I had seen you anywhere, truth be told. But it's different now. I can't say how sorry I really am about all that I've put you through. I can't believe you didn't lock me up earlier. Anyway, I would really like it if you came to see me. I miss you, even if you don't think so. My address is at the bottom of the letter and there's a telephone number too, if you have a phone to use. Whether or not you decide to come, write me regardless of your answer. Thanks for at least reading this.
Love, Petunia
WHAT?? How? When did? Lily couldn't formulate full sentences in her mouth or in her head. What a 180! What a way to wake up! What was she going to say? Did she really feel like going? Was this a trick? Did she really forgive Petunia for all of the horrors she had inflicted on Lily? Next stop, fifth year boys' dorms.
"James?...James! I need you to wake up darling..." she said in her sweetest possible voice. "What is it Tiger-Lily?" Was he still dreaming? "James, I got a letter from...Petunia." If he was sleeping before, he wasn't now. "You did? Are you ok?" He practically shot out of the bed when she had showed him the letter, with good reason too. "Um...what?" was all he could articulate for a few minutes. It was still rather early. "So, do you want to go see her?" James looked at Lily earnestly. "I don't know if I would be able to handle it. I still don't know if this is all some sort of cruel joke." James had a rather logical answer, "So why don't you start out with letter correspondence, and if you feel like it, move it up to telephone calls and then, if you feel up to it, visits. Try gradually." Lily decided this was a wonderful idea and told Petunia so in her first letter.
A few weeks went by with constant letters from Petunia to Lily and vice versa. It was basically full of small talk and polite chatting. The group was on the Hogwart's Express when Lily was reading a letter she had received only moments before leaving. Petunia had, once again, asked Lily to come down and see her. She read it over and over again and each time her expression became more and more depressed. Could she really handle seeing the person who had tortured her and caused her to have the deepest sense of self-loathing anyone could have? It had taken a lot for Lily to forgive herself. She wasn't sure if she would be able to forgive Petunia just yet. She was still bitter. James noticed the looks of sullen concentration. "Hey Tiger-Lily, what's wrong?" he put his head on her shoulder. She smiled and thought to herself, "God, I love James...What? Hold on. I thought we were going to stay away from this whole thing since he never asked? Well, we were, but we can't help it. He's just the greatest. Greatest or not, he hasn't said anything to make us think we have a chance. When did I turn into a WE?" Lily was having a mental conversation when she saw a hand flash before her eyes. "Hello? Tiger? Are we there? Are you ok? What're you thinking about?" Since Lily had known him, James had been one of the only people, beside her dad, to ask her what she was thinking. "Well, Petunia asked me to come see her again. I don't know whether or not I should. I mean, the letters are all well and good, but I don't know if I would be able to look her in the eye. I still feel so much bitterness and anger that I need to work past." James nodded sympathetically as she continued to explain that she was afraid she would turn into the person she was right after Petunia had been taken into custody. She didn't want to go back to that place and she didn't know what would send her back.
James and Lily spent the rest of the train ride talking about the possible outcomes of each scenario and which would be the safest for her. Sirius and Peter got a little rowdy so Lily and James decided to move to another compartment on the train. Hours passed with them probing deeply into each others thoughts, their dreams, their fears, and just feelings in general. Eventually the topic came up. "So Lily, I don't want to sound weird or anything but, Sirius told me something, and I don't think it's true, but I was wondering if it might be." He looked at her almost expecting an answer. "Well, James if you don't ask the question, then I'll never know what to answer." She smiled innocently. Just as James was about to ask who else Sirius, came in. "Hey, there you are, I was looking all over for you. Jay! Did you tell her the great news? Huh?" He looked at James with wide eyes. "Oh," James didn't look as happy though, "uh, Sirius and I got picked for this quidditch training camp. We'll be there all summer." He looked almost reluctant to go. Lily, though sad that she wouldn't see the guys for two months, tried to sound happy for them. "That's great, I told you guys you were great. When are you going? We'll have to have a celebration dinner or something." She smiled, but her eyes showed a hint of sadness. "We leave in about two weeks. So we'll have to make the time we have as a group be special." Sirius winked as he said this. Lily was getting used to the romantic innuendoes by now, but for some odd reason, James blushed. No one noticed, thankfully. The little bit of the ride left was spent with Sirius and James and Lily all conversing over quidditch training camp. The whole conversation beforehand was forgotten, for the time being...
For the next two weeks, Ana, Lily, James, and Sirius were constantly doing family activities (a/n: by now, y'all are probably wondering, what about Mr. Black? Well, the only reason I didn't develop him as a character was because I really didn't feel like having a whole other life to deal with. Lol. I'm lazy) Ana's reasoning behind this was that, the boys would get so tired of seeing the girls over these two weeks that they would be glad to get away from them and not be as homesick. It was like they were tourists. They went to every famous castle, every museum. They went bowling, and fishing, and go-cart racing. Ana beat everyone because she was the only one who had ever driven a car. All of the muggle activities put Lily's mood a little lower because it reminded her of when she and her family used to go do some of these things. She kept up the happy appearance though and decided she would discuss all of this with Ana when the boys left. She hated it when they worried about her.
The last day the boys were there, Ana planned a special dinner for everyone. She told them to wear nice clothes because they were going to a very fancy muggle-Italian restaurant. Afterward, they were to go dancing and then on a boat ride. Ana and Lily loved this idea, but the boys were less than excited to go dancing.
They all ended up at a little ristorante outside of London, called la Villa. It was charming and humble on the outside but very chic inside. Ana informed everyone that this was to keep certain people unaware of its quality. They all were dressed very nicely and only Sirius fidgeted in his dress clothes, this might be due to the fact that James had covered Sirius's shirt in a little itching potion. It was pay back for rear-ending him in the go-carts earlier in the week. The group took a seat in a secluded corner. It was very nice since the rest of the restaurant was swarming with people. Everyone knew it was going to be an oddly sentimental night. Sirius had bet Lily ten sickles that Ana would start crying by the end of the night. She took the bet, not knowing how very well Sirius knew his mother. What else she didn't know was that Sirius had also bet James that Lily would join his mother.
The meal started nicely; the conversation was light and everyone was in relatively good spirits. But as the night progressed, Ana became more and more reminiscent of Sirius when he was a baby. Eventually the conversation became a one sided story of how Ana's only son grew up and didn't need her anymore. Lily owed Sirius ten sickles. Everyone had had a little too much to drink and stories were pouring out left and right. Everyone now knew why Ana called her son fluffs (there was a bunny costume, humiliation ensued, etc.). By the end, Sirius was hugging his mother, or what remained after she had spilled her guts, as she cried heartily on his shoulder. James tried to give some words of comfort but it was a vain attempt.
Lily excused herself to the little terrace at the back of the restaurant that led down to the garden that couldn't be seen from the street. The moon was full, she thought of poor Remus, and where he might be transforming right now. As if transfixed by the eerie glow that pale orb provided, her gaze was steadfast until she felt someone put a hand around her waist. Lily jumped a little but she knew who it was ultimately. "James, dear, you've had too much wine," she said, smiling. She turned around and found two big, (a/n: I can't remember what color I made his eyes. Lol.) brown eyes, staring sweetly at her. "I don't know what you're talking abou' dearest darling Lily." He flashed a charming smiled and she laughed. Lily had gotten quite used to his notably proper pronunciation and it was strange to hear him now. "God, what a wonderful sound. Lily you're laugh is one of the most engaging things about you. I mean to say that there are a million things, but that's one of the things I love most." By this time he was hugging her from behind with his head on her shoulder. "James, darling, how much did you have? Maybe we should go back and get you to sleep. You have to get up rather early in the morning." It's not that Lily didn't want this to happen. She had been wanting it for a long time, but it didn't seem legitimate because he was a little tipsy. He might take it all back later and she couldn't handle that bad a rejection. "O I only had a glass. I never really liked the stuff. It's not for me. I'll tell you what I do like though, the way your hair always smells like strawberry. It's great." He took a big whiff of her flaming mane and sighed. In the meantime, Lily was a little scared. He'd never been that forward, ever and she wasn't used to it. The most probable explanation was the wine. It had to be the wine.
"James, you goof, who do you think you are? Gilderoy? Trying to charm all of the ladies into your good graces?" She laughed playfully but James straightened and turned Lily to face him. "Not all of the ladies. Just you. Lily do you know how long I've been holding this back? I've tried to be subtle, act nonchalant, but that gets me nowhere with you. It's killing me. I need to know do I even have a chance? I mean, you brush my advances off like they are nothing, or as if you don't even notice them sometimes, and then other times you're very receptive and I just need to know if you're leading me on." He looked intensely at her and she didn't know what to say. She now figured that he wasn't drunk. He was direct, but not drunk. "I never meant to make you feel as if you were being led on. I never realized that I did that. Truthfully, James, I always brushed off any subtle advances because I didn't think that's what they were. I'm not good with hints and so forth. So when you thought I was ignoring them, the most likely scenario was that I really didn't catch on. Don't feel as if I'm teasing you, I'm just a little daft." She laughed nervously and started to walk slowly around the large garden. He knew her well. "Lily, don't be nervous. It's me. Don't feel like you have to protect me, if I don't have a chance. Just tell me, things won't be weird." He was following at a slower pace. "See, that's got nothing to do with anything, since I wasn't going to tell you that it was hopeless. I'm just having trouble digesting this. Really, Sirius had been telling me this for years, but I brushed him off too..." she was talking more to herself than to James at this point but he was listening quite attentively.
"So...that doesn't answer anything now does it?" James smiled. "Well, if you must know the truth, then fine. I was sort of hoping that this day would come." She quickened her pace a little, embarrassed at her own bluntness. "I suppose the cat's out of the bag now, hey?" she said. Somehow, James had caught up to Lily, who had reached light speed while walking the garden. He grabbed her hand and stopped her. "You don't even understand how glad I am that it is." He hugged her and before either of them could comment further, they heard something from inside the restaurant that sounded like the crashing of pots and pans. When they got inside, James and Lily found Ana hitting Sirius weakly in the arm as she still clung to him and cried. "Why ::thwap:: did you ::thwap:: have ::thwap:: to grow up ::thwap:: ::thwap:: so fast. ::thwap::" She managed this between sobs and thwaps. Sirius had given up on deflecting them and he just sat, in a chair, holding his mother as she beat his arm meekly. "Come on mum, we are causing a scene. We need to go. See everyone's done. We need to get up early tomorrow." He helped her up and the group walked out with the eyes of every inhabitant of the building on the sobbing woman and the three others.
Dear Lily,
Guess who? That's right. How are you? I'm all right, considering the circumstances. I'm writing for the specific intent of asking if you'll come visit me this summer. I know that you probably hate me now. I would too. But I would like to say that I have sincerely changed. They have me on medication and going to therapy twice a week. A year ago, I probably would've killed you if I had seen you anywhere, truth be told. But it's different now. I can't say how sorry I really am about all that I've put you through. I can't believe you didn't lock me up earlier. Anyway, I would really like it if you came to see me. I miss you, even if you don't think so. My address is at the bottom of the letter and there's a telephone number too, if you have a phone to use. Whether or not you decide to come, write me regardless of your answer. Thanks for at least reading this.
Love, Petunia
WHAT?? How? When did? Lily couldn't formulate full sentences in her mouth or in her head. What a 180! What a way to wake up! What was she going to say? Did she really feel like going? Was this a trick? Did she really forgive Petunia for all of the horrors she had inflicted on Lily? Next stop, fifth year boys' dorms.
"James?...James! I need you to wake up darling..." she said in her sweetest possible voice. "What is it Tiger-Lily?" Was he still dreaming? "James, I got a letter from...Petunia." If he was sleeping before, he wasn't now. "You did? Are you ok?" He practically shot out of the bed when she had showed him the letter, with good reason too. "Um...what?" was all he could articulate for a few minutes. It was still rather early. "So, do you want to go see her?" James looked at Lily earnestly. "I don't know if I would be able to handle it. I still don't know if this is all some sort of cruel joke." James had a rather logical answer, "So why don't you start out with letter correspondence, and if you feel like it, move it up to telephone calls and then, if you feel up to it, visits. Try gradually." Lily decided this was a wonderful idea and told Petunia so in her first letter.
A few weeks went by with constant letters from Petunia to Lily and vice versa. It was basically full of small talk and polite chatting. The group was on the Hogwart's Express when Lily was reading a letter she had received only moments before leaving. Petunia had, once again, asked Lily to come down and see her. She read it over and over again and each time her expression became more and more depressed. Could she really handle seeing the person who had tortured her and caused her to have the deepest sense of self-loathing anyone could have? It had taken a lot for Lily to forgive herself. She wasn't sure if she would be able to forgive Petunia just yet. She was still bitter. James noticed the looks of sullen concentration. "Hey Tiger-Lily, what's wrong?" he put his head on her shoulder. She smiled and thought to herself, "God, I love James...What? Hold on. I thought we were going to stay away from this whole thing since he never asked? Well, we were, but we can't help it. He's just the greatest. Greatest or not, he hasn't said anything to make us think we have a chance. When did I turn into a WE?" Lily was having a mental conversation when she saw a hand flash before her eyes. "Hello? Tiger? Are we there? Are you ok? What're you thinking about?" Since Lily had known him, James had been one of the only people, beside her dad, to ask her what she was thinking. "Well, Petunia asked me to come see her again. I don't know whether or not I should. I mean, the letters are all well and good, but I don't know if I would be able to look her in the eye. I still feel so much bitterness and anger that I need to work past." James nodded sympathetically as she continued to explain that she was afraid she would turn into the person she was right after Petunia had been taken into custody. She didn't want to go back to that place and she didn't know what would send her back.
James and Lily spent the rest of the train ride talking about the possible outcomes of each scenario and which would be the safest for her. Sirius and Peter got a little rowdy so Lily and James decided to move to another compartment on the train. Hours passed with them probing deeply into each others thoughts, their dreams, their fears, and just feelings in general. Eventually the topic came up. "So Lily, I don't want to sound weird or anything but, Sirius told me something, and I don't think it's true, but I was wondering if it might be." He looked at her almost expecting an answer. "Well, James if you don't ask the question, then I'll never know what to answer." She smiled innocently. Just as James was about to ask who else Sirius, came in. "Hey, there you are, I was looking all over for you. Jay! Did you tell her the great news? Huh?" He looked at James with wide eyes. "Oh," James didn't look as happy though, "uh, Sirius and I got picked for this quidditch training camp. We'll be there all summer." He looked almost reluctant to go. Lily, though sad that she wouldn't see the guys for two months, tried to sound happy for them. "That's great, I told you guys you were great. When are you going? We'll have to have a celebration dinner or something." She smiled, but her eyes showed a hint of sadness. "We leave in about two weeks. So we'll have to make the time we have as a group be special." Sirius winked as he said this. Lily was getting used to the romantic innuendoes by now, but for some odd reason, James blushed. No one noticed, thankfully. The little bit of the ride left was spent with Sirius and James and Lily all conversing over quidditch training camp. The whole conversation beforehand was forgotten, for the time being...
For the next two weeks, Ana, Lily, James, and Sirius were constantly doing family activities (a/n: by now, y'all are probably wondering, what about Mr. Black? Well, the only reason I didn't develop him as a character was because I really didn't feel like having a whole other life to deal with. Lol. I'm lazy) Ana's reasoning behind this was that, the boys would get so tired of seeing the girls over these two weeks that they would be glad to get away from them and not be as homesick. It was like they were tourists. They went to every famous castle, every museum. They went bowling, and fishing, and go-cart racing. Ana beat everyone because she was the only one who had ever driven a car. All of the muggle activities put Lily's mood a little lower because it reminded her of when she and her family used to go do some of these things. She kept up the happy appearance though and decided she would discuss all of this with Ana when the boys left. She hated it when they worried about her.
The last day the boys were there, Ana planned a special dinner for everyone. She told them to wear nice clothes because they were going to a very fancy muggle-Italian restaurant. Afterward, they were to go dancing and then on a boat ride. Ana and Lily loved this idea, but the boys were less than excited to go dancing.
They all ended up at a little ristorante outside of London, called la Villa. It was charming and humble on the outside but very chic inside. Ana informed everyone that this was to keep certain people unaware of its quality. They all were dressed very nicely and only Sirius fidgeted in his dress clothes, this might be due to the fact that James had covered Sirius's shirt in a little itching potion. It was pay back for rear-ending him in the go-carts earlier in the week. The group took a seat in a secluded corner. It was very nice since the rest of the restaurant was swarming with people. Everyone knew it was going to be an oddly sentimental night. Sirius had bet Lily ten sickles that Ana would start crying by the end of the night. She took the bet, not knowing how very well Sirius knew his mother. What else she didn't know was that Sirius had also bet James that Lily would join his mother.
The meal started nicely; the conversation was light and everyone was in relatively good spirits. But as the night progressed, Ana became more and more reminiscent of Sirius when he was a baby. Eventually the conversation became a one sided story of how Ana's only son grew up and didn't need her anymore. Lily owed Sirius ten sickles. Everyone had had a little too much to drink and stories were pouring out left and right. Everyone now knew why Ana called her son fluffs (there was a bunny costume, humiliation ensued, etc.). By the end, Sirius was hugging his mother, or what remained after she had spilled her guts, as she cried heartily on his shoulder. James tried to give some words of comfort but it was a vain attempt.
Lily excused herself to the little terrace at the back of the restaurant that led down to the garden that couldn't be seen from the street. The moon was full, she thought of poor Remus, and where he might be transforming right now. As if transfixed by the eerie glow that pale orb provided, her gaze was steadfast until she felt someone put a hand around her waist. Lily jumped a little but she knew who it was ultimately. "James, dear, you've had too much wine," she said, smiling. She turned around and found two big, (a/n: I can't remember what color I made his eyes. Lol.) brown eyes, staring sweetly at her. "I don't know what you're talking abou' dearest darling Lily." He flashed a charming smiled and she laughed. Lily had gotten quite used to his notably proper pronunciation and it was strange to hear him now. "God, what a wonderful sound. Lily you're laugh is one of the most engaging things about you. I mean to say that there are a million things, but that's one of the things I love most." By this time he was hugging her from behind with his head on her shoulder. "James, darling, how much did you have? Maybe we should go back and get you to sleep. You have to get up rather early in the morning." It's not that Lily didn't want this to happen. She had been wanting it for a long time, but it didn't seem legitimate because he was a little tipsy. He might take it all back later and she couldn't handle that bad a rejection. "O I only had a glass. I never really liked the stuff. It's not for me. I'll tell you what I do like though, the way your hair always smells like strawberry. It's great." He took a big whiff of her flaming mane and sighed. In the meantime, Lily was a little scared. He'd never been that forward, ever and she wasn't used to it. The most probable explanation was the wine. It had to be the wine.
"James, you goof, who do you think you are? Gilderoy? Trying to charm all of the ladies into your good graces?" She laughed playfully but James straightened and turned Lily to face him. "Not all of the ladies. Just you. Lily do you know how long I've been holding this back? I've tried to be subtle, act nonchalant, but that gets me nowhere with you. It's killing me. I need to know do I even have a chance? I mean, you brush my advances off like they are nothing, or as if you don't even notice them sometimes, and then other times you're very receptive and I just need to know if you're leading me on." He looked intensely at her and she didn't know what to say. She now figured that he wasn't drunk. He was direct, but not drunk. "I never meant to make you feel as if you were being led on. I never realized that I did that. Truthfully, James, I always brushed off any subtle advances because I didn't think that's what they were. I'm not good with hints and so forth. So when you thought I was ignoring them, the most likely scenario was that I really didn't catch on. Don't feel as if I'm teasing you, I'm just a little daft." She laughed nervously and started to walk slowly around the large garden. He knew her well. "Lily, don't be nervous. It's me. Don't feel like you have to protect me, if I don't have a chance. Just tell me, things won't be weird." He was following at a slower pace. "See, that's got nothing to do with anything, since I wasn't going to tell you that it was hopeless. I'm just having trouble digesting this. Really, Sirius had been telling me this for years, but I brushed him off too..." she was talking more to herself than to James at this point but he was listening quite attentively.
"So...that doesn't answer anything now does it?" James smiled. "Well, if you must know the truth, then fine. I was sort of hoping that this day would come." She quickened her pace a little, embarrassed at her own bluntness. "I suppose the cat's out of the bag now, hey?" she said. Somehow, James had caught up to Lily, who had reached light speed while walking the garden. He grabbed her hand and stopped her. "You don't even understand how glad I am that it is." He hugged her and before either of them could comment further, they heard something from inside the restaurant that sounded like the crashing of pots and pans. When they got inside, James and Lily found Ana hitting Sirius weakly in the arm as she still clung to him and cried. "Why ::thwap:: did you ::thwap:: have ::thwap:: to grow up ::thwap:: ::thwap:: so fast. ::thwap::" She managed this between sobs and thwaps. Sirius had given up on deflecting them and he just sat, in a chair, holding his mother as she beat his arm meekly. "Come on mum, we are causing a scene. We need to go. See everyone's done. We need to get up early tomorrow." He helped her up and the group walked out with the eyes of every inhabitant of the building on the sobbing woman and the three others.