Note: Only Rutan is mine! The rest are borrowed from LOTR or other such places. Some of these scenes may be familiar; they were also borrowed and do not belong to me. Elvish speech is in ''. Sorry for the delay! Vote for who the mysterious Elf is. Must be a LOTR Elf. And remember, it cannot be Haldir, because he is currently being tortured. Sorry it's so short!

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

Part 3.

Haldir was now hanging from his feet upside down, with thick rope looped around some boards in the ceiling, and his bare ankles were bound together with the rope.

He still wore the makeup that had been put on him, along with his rainbow-colored hair.

As his blood rushed to his head, the Elf's face flushed. He was *so* not feeling well, for his vision was swirling around and around, making him feel like he was either going to retch or faint. Haldir preferred to do neither.

The Uruk-Hai demanded to know where the Hobbits were, and Haldir spit on the closest one in defiance.

"EW!" the Uruk-Hai shrieked. He ran away to clean himself.

Haldir smirked and stuck his tongue out at the others. "Come any closer and I'll do the same to you,' he threatened. All the same, he was starting to wonder when in the **** were Legolas and the others going to rescue him. Legolas would insist upon it, the 'Lorien Elf knew.

'You'll pay for that,' an Orc snapped. He brought out the scissors and quickly began going to work.

Haldir shrieked in fury and swung his bound fists at the Orc. 'Get away from my hair!!!'

Unfortunately, it was too late. The long, rainbow hair now was cut into jagged, uneven strands, highly resembling the hair that was on the scarecrow, which was positioned in the cornfield outside of the barn.

Orcish sniggers were heard by the Elf, who was ready to weep. He had not signed up for this, or agreed to escort Frodo to Mordor or anything of the kind!

Saruman himself appeared in a blinding flash of light, with so much smoke around the Istari that everyone, including Haldir, started choking on it.

Saruman glowered as a few Orcs muttered some choice words, before he turned to the Elf who had been captured. The evil Istari started laughing when he saw what had been done to Haldir, who spit at him as well.

"Traitor," Haldir hissed at Saruman. "And what's with your hair?"

Saruman bonked the Elf on the head with his staff in anger. "Shut up!" he snapped. "I will ask the questions. Where is the Ring!?!"

Haldir whistled innocently before replying, "I ate it." He smirked at Saruman and stuck out his tongue. "It was tasty, too."

Gasps and screeches loudly met that bold statement.

Saruman growled, "Then you shall face my WRATH!" His voice broke on the word 'wrath'.

Haldir snickered, but grew silent as a hideous wailing began sounding. He grimaced at the high-pitched sounds continued, sounding much, much worse than nails on a chalkboard, especially for an Elf with sensitive hearing.

Haldir flinched, for his ears were throbbing. The tortured Elf was getting very annoyed with the Fellowship, because he had saved them, after all, and they couldn't be bothered to rescue him when he was captured defending them?

Hmph… Next time he wouldn't be so nice, Haldir thought, as the Orcs took up the song as well, along with the Uruk-Hai.

Maybe he ought to force them to listen to this, to teach them a lesson, Haldir mused, a mischievous look in his eyes, before it faded to a hollow sound.

He whimpered, as the sounds grew even higher in pitch, until Haldir could no longer hear anything, not even his low moans.

*************

Somewhere

*************

Aragorn and Legolas broke apart as the human tackled the Elf to the ground, avoiding another blast from Gandalf's staff.

Rutan danced around, as he enthusiastically used the staff to cause mayhem among the Fellowship.

He didn't notice the panic he was causing, as he discovered that he could make things appear by smacking the staff on the ground and pointing it forward.

He absentmindedly created a Balrog, which freaked the Hobbits out. Boromir and Gimli defended the little ones, while Gandalf slept on.

Legolas cried out as a blast from the staff singed part of his hair. 'I knew it, I knew it, we should not have brought him!'

'We couldn't just let him wander around alone,' Aragorn said sternly. 'Not while he's so addled.'

'Addled or not, he is destroying this clearing and my hair! Not to mention putting all of our lives in danger!' Legolas yelled angrily as a second blast hit him.

Aragorn sighed, took a deep breath, and bellowed, "GANDALF!"

The Istari blinked his eyes open sleepily in time to see Rutan create a second Balrog with his staff. "That's my staff!" he shouted, as he stood up and ran over to where the dark-haired Elf was waving it around, before he smacked it on the ground again.

Arwen appeared next, along with a certain other Elf. Her clothes were disheveled as she kissed the other Elf, not noticing where she was.

'Arwen?' Aragorn questioned, shock written on his face.

Arwen gulped and looked around at the scattered Fellowship. 'Um… I would say this isn't what it looks like… but it is,' she whispered. Her lipstick was all over the other Elf's mouth and face.

Legolas scowled and muttered, 'Good thing I'm here to comfort Aragorn.' He put an arm around Aragorn, patting him on the back. 'It'll be ok- and look on the bright side. Now you don't have to tell her that the two of you aren't going to marry.'

'You're right!' Aragorn exclaimed. 'What would I do without you?' He planted a firm kiss on Legolas' lips, causing a gasp from Arwen and the other Elf.

Gimli looked at Arwen, flushed slightly, and muttered, 'Could you please fix your dress?'

It was her turn to gape at Aragorn, as Arwen re-buttoned her dress. She didn't know what to say, and Aragorn apparently did not, either.

The other Elf held Arwen close, wondering how they had gotten there.

Boromir was looking at Legolas, jealousy on his face as the Elf eagerly kissed his lover.

Gandalf finally grabbed his staff away from Rutan and smacked him in the head with it. The addled Elf collapsed on the ground.

The Hobbits were still shrieking, so Gandalf turned to them and yelled, "There is no reason for you to be screaming like that. He's out cold, now. And I just have one question. HOW DID HE GET MY STAFF???"

Everyone froze in the clearing, looking at Gandalf, except for the Balrogs, who advanced on the three Elves.

Frodo's hand went to the chain around the neck, when he suddenly realized… "The Ring is gone!" he shouted.

To be continued