XXIV: Love Ridden
Lulu sat outside Wakka's hut on a bench, her toes tracing tiny circles in the dirt. Wakka had shut himself inside earlier that morning after he cancelled blitzball practice for the day. He had been inside all day, and now the sky was getting dark, the sun was setting, and some townspeople had dinner roasting over a small fire.
Rikku lay on her stomach in the grass not too far from where Lulu sat. She was propped up on two elbows with her feet swinging happily in the air. The last of the day's light threw long shadows across the ground, barely enough light for Rikku to write by. 'Another letter to Zalitz.' Lulu assumed. The mail carrier would arrive soon as he did every evening, bringing with him a letter for Rikku from her friend in Luca.
Tidus sat near the fire with Yuna on his lap; his arms were wrapped around her waist. 'Those two are inseparable.' Lulu thought with a sigh, wishing she and Wakka could be happy like that. 'It's my fault, really. I couldn't let things be simple.'
Rikku darted up from her cozy spot in the grass when she saw the mail carrier had arrived. "A letter from Luca for Miss Rikku today." He said with a smile. She thanked the jolly old man, took the letter from him, and raced into her room to read it by candlelight.
Yuna joined Lulu on the bench outside Wakka's door. "Dinner will be ready soon." She said. Lulu nodded, but didn't look up; her gaze was concentrated on the dirt at her feet.
Yuna saw what happened earlier that morning. She and Tidus were leaving their hut when they saw Lulu walking away from Wakka with tears in her eyes. Wakka stood silently for a moment, and then said, "Practice is cancelled," in a solemn voice to a blitzball player standing nearby. Out of anger, he chucked a blitzball forcefully into the ocean.
"Yuna, what's wrong with me?" Lulu asked as she released a heavy sigh. Yuna felt the sorrow in Lulu's voice. She was torn between a wonderful man who loved her dearly, and the memory of a man she would never see again.
"Lulu, you said you never loved Chappu." Yuna was confused.
"I thought I didn't." Lulu remembered her departed Chappu. He worshipped the ground she walked on. He joined the Crusaders to keep her safe, which eventually resulted in his death. Maybe that was the reason she couldn't let go... because he died to keep her safe. 'Those were the happiest times of my life.' She thought. 'It was so simple then.'
Wakka listened to Lulu's voice outside his door. He wasn't asleep. He hid in the darkness where he could express his despair. A strong man like Wakka shouldn't cry, but if he's alone, who's to say he did? 'Maybe she's right.' He thought, as much as it pained him to think so.
Loving Lulu was torture. To bask in the warmth of her touch was heaven, but when she turned cold, she was cold as ice. She had done this to him before. When Chappu was away, she would flirt, she would tease, but when he returned, Wakka was left in the shadows. Even in death Chappu still had hold of her heart.
Wakka rose to leave the room, and stopped just before he opened the door. 'This is gonna hurt.' He thought. Lulu and Yuna both stopped talking when the door swung open. Lulu looked up into his sad brown eyes. Yuna returned to Tidus, and left them alone to talk. Wakka took Yuna's place on the bench next to Lulu. For a long while they didn't speak, neither of them wanted to say the awful truth.
Finally Wakka turned to her and took her hand in his. "Lulu. You were right. This is no good."
"Wakka..." She pleaded, not knowing what she would say, but she knew she didn't want to hear what would come next.
"I love you, Lu." He said with his eyes to the ground. His hand gripped hers tightly. "But... you still love him. You got some things to take care of, ya? Maybe someday..." His voice trailed off; he stopped speaking to keep from crying. Lulu's eyes were filled with tears waiting to pour out. He spoke the truth. What she was doing to him wasn't fair. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, and then walked away.
~
~
~
They all gathered at a table in the town dining hall for dinner. Besaid was so small that everyone ate together whenever they could. Lulu sat across the table from Wakka. She wasn't hungry; mostly she just pushed around the food on her plate. Their eyes met a few times, and each time was a dagger through Wakka's heart. How would they ever be friends if they couldn't even look at each other?
"I have an announcement." Yuna said to try to lighten the tense atmosphere. She looked over to her fiancé sitting beside her. "Tidus and I have chosen a wedding date. We will marry six months from now, in June."
"It's one year from the day we met." Tidus added quietly, and then kissed Yuna softly on the cheek. Rikku, of course was excited, and bounced up and down in her seat. She left the table to spread the good news to everyone in the room. Wakka and Lulu tried to express their happiness as best they could. Tidus and Yuna understood.
After dinner, Wakka walked Lulu back to her hut. It was the first time in almost a month that she would sleep alone. Being "just friends" was a trial in itself. Out of habit, he almost put his arm around her; it came naturally to him.
"I've decided to go to Guadosalam. I want to visit the farplane." Lulu said as they walked side by side; more space between them than either of them wanted.
"I'll go with you." Wakka offered, oblivious to the fact that it might not be the best idea. Lulu was shocked to hear him say that. Wakka was shocked to hear the words himself. "Oh... you probably wanna go alone, ya?"
"No... you can come." Lulu said as they arrived at her door. Wakka smiled. This would be the part where he kissed her goodnight. 'No more kisses, Lu.' Wakka thought with a sigh. Instead he gave her a big hug. She let his arms wrap around her, feeling his love.
'Wakka, why does it have to be so complicated?' She thought. 'I'm sorry.'
"Goodnight, Lu." He said with a weak smile and then turned and walked away.
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Note: This chapter was inspired by the song "Love Ridden" by Fiona Apple. Fabulous song! If you listen to it, and I highly recommend that you do, think of the lyrics from Wakka's point of view.
More on the way…
Darcee :)
Lulu sat outside Wakka's hut on a bench, her toes tracing tiny circles in the dirt. Wakka had shut himself inside earlier that morning after he cancelled blitzball practice for the day. He had been inside all day, and now the sky was getting dark, the sun was setting, and some townspeople had dinner roasting over a small fire.
Rikku lay on her stomach in the grass not too far from where Lulu sat. She was propped up on two elbows with her feet swinging happily in the air. The last of the day's light threw long shadows across the ground, barely enough light for Rikku to write by. 'Another letter to Zalitz.' Lulu assumed. The mail carrier would arrive soon as he did every evening, bringing with him a letter for Rikku from her friend in Luca.
Tidus sat near the fire with Yuna on his lap; his arms were wrapped around her waist. 'Those two are inseparable.' Lulu thought with a sigh, wishing she and Wakka could be happy like that. 'It's my fault, really. I couldn't let things be simple.'
Rikku darted up from her cozy spot in the grass when she saw the mail carrier had arrived. "A letter from Luca for Miss Rikku today." He said with a smile. She thanked the jolly old man, took the letter from him, and raced into her room to read it by candlelight.
Yuna joined Lulu on the bench outside Wakka's door. "Dinner will be ready soon." She said. Lulu nodded, but didn't look up; her gaze was concentrated on the dirt at her feet.
Yuna saw what happened earlier that morning. She and Tidus were leaving their hut when they saw Lulu walking away from Wakka with tears in her eyes. Wakka stood silently for a moment, and then said, "Practice is cancelled," in a solemn voice to a blitzball player standing nearby. Out of anger, he chucked a blitzball forcefully into the ocean.
"Yuna, what's wrong with me?" Lulu asked as she released a heavy sigh. Yuna felt the sorrow in Lulu's voice. She was torn between a wonderful man who loved her dearly, and the memory of a man she would never see again.
"Lulu, you said you never loved Chappu." Yuna was confused.
"I thought I didn't." Lulu remembered her departed Chappu. He worshipped the ground she walked on. He joined the Crusaders to keep her safe, which eventually resulted in his death. Maybe that was the reason she couldn't let go... because he died to keep her safe. 'Those were the happiest times of my life.' She thought. 'It was so simple then.'
Wakka listened to Lulu's voice outside his door. He wasn't asleep. He hid in the darkness where he could express his despair. A strong man like Wakka shouldn't cry, but if he's alone, who's to say he did? 'Maybe she's right.' He thought, as much as it pained him to think so.
Loving Lulu was torture. To bask in the warmth of her touch was heaven, but when she turned cold, she was cold as ice. She had done this to him before. When Chappu was away, she would flirt, she would tease, but when he returned, Wakka was left in the shadows. Even in death Chappu still had hold of her heart.
Wakka rose to leave the room, and stopped just before he opened the door. 'This is gonna hurt.' He thought. Lulu and Yuna both stopped talking when the door swung open. Lulu looked up into his sad brown eyes. Yuna returned to Tidus, and left them alone to talk. Wakka took Yuna's place on the bench next to Lulu. For a long while they didn't speak, neither of them wanted to say the awful truth.
Finally Wakka turned to her and took her hand in his. "Lulu. You were right. This is no good."
"Wakka..." She pleaded, not knowing what she would say, but she knew she didn't want to hear what would come next.
"I love you, Lu." He said with his eyes to the ground. His hand gripped hers tightly. "But... you still love him. You got some things to take care of, ya? Maybe someday..." His voice trailed off; he stopped speaking to keep from crying. Lulu's eyes were filled with tears waiting to pour out. He spoke the truth. What she was doing to him wasn't fair. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, and then walked away.
~
~
~
They all gathered at a table in the town dining hall for dinner. Besaid was so small that everyone ate together whenever they could. Lulu sat across the table from Wakka. She wasn't hungry; mostly she just pushed around the food on her plate. Their eyes met a few times, and each time was a dagger through Wakka's heart. How would they ever be friends if they couldn't even look at each other?
"I have an announcement." Yuna said to try to lighten the tense atmosphere. She looked over to her fiancé sitting beside her. "Tidus and I have chosen a wedding date. We will marry six months from now, in June."
"It's one year from the day we met." Tidus added quietly, and then kissed Yuna softly on the cheek. Rikku, of course was excited, and bounced up and down in her seat. She left the table to spread the good news to everyone in the room. Wakka and Lulu tried to express their happiness as best they could. Tidus and Yuna understood.
After dinner, Wakka walked Lulu back to her hut. It was the first time in almost a month that she would sleep alone. Being "just friends" was a trial in itself. Out of habit, he almost put his arm around her; it came naturally to him.
"I've decided to go to Guadosalam. I want to visit the farplane." Lulu said as they walked side by side; more space between them than either of them wanted.
"I'll go with you." Wakka offered, oblivious to the fact that it might not be the best idea. Lulu was shocked to hear him say that. Wakka was shocked to hear the words himself. "Oh... you probably wanna go alone, ya?"
"No... you can come." Lulu said as they arrived at her door. Wakka smiled. This would be the part where he kissed her goodnight. 'No more kisses, Lu.' Wakka thought with a sigh. Instead he gave her a big hug. She let his arms wrap around her, feeling his love.
'Wakka, why does it have to be so complicated?' She thought. 'I'm sorry.'
"Goodnight, Lu." He said with a weak smile and then turned and walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note: This chapter was inspired by the song "Love Ridden" by Fiona Apple. Fabulous song! If you listen to it, and I highly recommend that you do, think of the lyrics from Wakka's point of view.
More on the way…
Darcee :)