Title: Dark Depths
Author: Lucy Mars
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.....but ABS was nice enough to share them with all of us. ;]
Chapter #12
"Hungry?"
"Not really."
"Tired."
"No."
"Bored?"
"Annoyed." Donna replied smiling up at Josh.
"Do you want another pillow?" Josh asked stopping in front of Donna.
"I want you to sit down and take a deep breath." Donna laughed grabbing Josh's hand and tugging him so that he was seated on the couch beside her. He'd been running around his apartment trying to make sure that everything was okay. Fussing wasn't something that she'd ever seen Josh do. It was amusing and disconcerting all at once.
"You sure you don't want anything?" Josh asked skeptically.
"I'm sure."
"Water?"
"Josh!" Donna laughed shaking her head.
"Okay." Josh said sheepishly. "Okay."
"Just relax. Take a deep breath. Take many deep breaths."
Smiling at Donna, Josh leaned back against the couch. "I thought that I was supposed to be taking care of you."
Shrugging her shoulders, Donna melted into the soft cushions. "I'm better at taking care of you."
"I just haven't had enough practice."
Rolling her eyes, Donna wasn't surprised that Josh would feel the need to get competitive about this too. "Okay."
"Does your head hurt?" Josh asked gently brushing some hair away from her face.
"A little." Donna admitted blushing under Josh's delicately touch and realizing that she was still holding his hand.
"Want a painkiller?" Josh asked shooting off of the couch and releasing her hand.
"No." Donna sighed missing the warmth of his hand already. God, she was pathetic.
"Are you okay?" Josh asked alarmed by her sigh.
"I'm fine." Donna snapped.
"I made up the guestroom." Josh said cautiously, trying not to make her mad. Or madder. "I ran over to your place and packed what I thought you would need."
"Thank you Josh." Donna mumbled feeling her face flush scarlet. He was only trying to be nice and she'd snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you…"
"Hey, hey." Josh said sitting down beside Donna, "You are talking to the King of Anal. Remember?"
"You were recovering from a gunshot wound." Donna said softly, "I didn't expect you to be Mr. Nice. Hell, you're never Mr. Nice. I think that I would have been worried if you were nice."
Glad that she was joking around with him, Josh let out the breath that he was holding. "I unpacked your clothes. Do you want to change into something more comfortable? I'm thinking of ordering some food…"
"You don't need to baby-sit me all day Josh. Do you need to go into work today?"
"Nope. I brought home some stuff that I might do, but nothing needs my attention right now."
"What about Amy?" Donna asked slowly.
"Why do you keep on asking about Amy?" Josh questioned.
"No reason." Donna said feeling her face heat up.
"Are you sure?" Josh asked regarding her skeptically.
"Of course." Donna said getting up slowly.
"Where are you going?" Josh asked in alarm.
"I'm going to go and change." Donna clarified. "I could use some comfortable pajamas."
"Okay." Josh said feeling his stomach resettle. "I packed those blue flannel ones that you like."
"You remembered." Donna said surprised. "I didn't expect you to remember."
"I did." Josh said feeling his lips curve up at her pleased expression. "You would come home from work tired or upset, and change into those pajamas right away."
Home. She had come home. Not back to his place…but home. Smiling, Donna played with the edge of her sleeve. "You saw those pajamas a lot that summer."
"I did. I think that you need to get new ones."
"Why?"
"They look a little worn."
"I've worn them a lot lately." Donna blurted out. Well, so much for not wearing her heart on her sleeve. Hopefully Josh would be Josh and not make the connections.
"Yeah?" Josh asked feeling guilt settle in on him. Was it him that drove her to wear her comfy pajamas?
"Yeah." Donna murmured not meeting Josh's curious eyes. "I'm going to go change."
"You need help?"
Shooting Josh a wanton smile, Donna raised an amused eyebrow. "I can dress myself Josh."
"I meant getting to the guestroom, dork." Josh laughed feeling his own face begin to heat up.
"Sure." Donna laughed as she braced the wall with one hand and made her way down the hall.
"I'm going to order some food." Josh yelled as he made his way to his kitchen. "What do you feel like?"
"Whatever is fine." Donna called as she opened the door to the guestroom and found it spotless. Smiling, she couldn't believe that he'd gone to all this trouble. The junk that he usually kept in here was neatly stacked in the closet and the sheets even looked clean. Her clothes were even neatly hung in the closet and all the girlie accessories that Josh would tease her about were sitting comfortably on the nightstand. Everything looked right at home. Like it all belonged in Josh's apartment.
And right in the middle of the bed were her comfy blue pajamas and Josh's thick wool socks. Picking up the socks, Donna happily kicked her shoes off and slipped Josh's favorite socks on. He even remembered that her feet got cold on his hardwood floors. Josh could be so sweet when he wanted to be. Or was it because of her that he was being extra sweet? Or was it because he loved her that he...
Her mood plummet back towards reality when she noticed a bright Tahitian accessory sticking out of a box that was shoved in the closet; Donna shook the ridiculous thoughts out of her head. Josh was just being nice. There was nothing to read into. Nothing to be analyzed and picked apart. Nothing that would be a sign that Josh cared. Nothing that would indicate that Joshua Lyman liked her liked her.
Sighing sadly, Donna gingerly unbuttoned her shirt and slowly slipped it off. Careful of her tender arms and the fresh sores. Her body still ached with the angry black and blue bruises that stood out on her pale skin. Grabbing the top half of her pajamas, Donna hastily put them on. She didn't want to have to look at the offending and painful reminders any longer that she had too.
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Anxious and slightly anal, Josh wanted to call out and ask Donna if she needed help, but he knew what it was like to be smothered. He didn't want to smother Donna. He wanted to help her. Be there for her. Hold her hand. Okay…maybe do more than just hold her hand, but he wanted to be a comfort. A comfort in times of hardship and turmoil.
Quietly making his way to the guest room, Josh felt his heart jump a beat when he caught a peek of Donna gingerly slipping off her shirt through the slightly ajar door. Any inappropriate thoughts regarding him and Donna quickly dissipated though when Josh caught a glance at all the harsh bruises mapped over her elegant back and long arms. Arousal was replaced with anger and nausea. Anger that some bastard could do that to his Donnatella, and nausea that the same bastard had almost done worse. Swallowing the lump growing in his throat, Josh quickly made his way back to the living room. He needed to lie down. He needed to hit something. He needed to be here for Donna. He wanted to kill the bastard who dared hurt his Donnatella. Taking deep breaths, Josh tiredly lay down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He needed to pull it together if he was going to be a steady source of support for Donna. He couldn't fall apart when she needed him. The last thing that Donna needed to do was pull together Josh and his fractured psyche while falling apart herself.
Rubbing his eyes furiously, Josh took deep calming breaths and wondered how Donna did it? How did she manage to be there for him, while supporting herself? How did she hold his broken body and mind together when he wanted nothing more than to fall apart? More importantly, why? She was an amazing woman, that Donnatella Moss. A stronger person than he. Donna. Donna. Donna...he loved her.
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Gradually making her way back to the living room, Donna was ready to call out for Josh when she noticed a familiar unruly mop of hair propped up on the sofa. Chuckling to herself, Donna gently laid the quilt that she'd given him for Hanukkah over his peacefully sleeping form. He had to be exhausted. Two consecutive nights sleeping in a hospital chair couldn't have been that comfortable or yielding. Left in peace to study his serene face, Donna had almost forgotten how innocent and calm Josh looked when under the Sandman's spell. Also, how beautiful he looked. Beauty and Josh may sound odd together, but it was true. Joshua Lyman was beautiful in her eyes.
"Silly thoughts." Donna whispered to herself as she pulled away from Josh. "Stupid thoughts." she sighed backing away from Josh's intoxicating face.
Making her way to the familiar kitchen, Donna went about making herself some tea. She didn't know why, but she wasn't surprised that Josh had left his kitchen the way that she had organized it. Everything was exactly the way that she had left it. From the tea on the first shelf on the left, to the coffee beans sitting in the side bar of the fridge. It was almost like she'd never left. Almost. The leftover rum, sitting right in plain sight, from his Tahitian night with Amy was a screeching reminder that things had changed. And that they were silly thoughts. Stupid irrational foolish thoughts. Byproducts of the painkillers Donna rationalized. She was merely seeing something that wasn't there. She was letting her imagination run away with her. She was hopelessly in love with a man who didn't love her back. Putting her head down on the table, Donna sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. She needed to think about something else. She needed to get her mind out of this cycle. She needed to work.
Padding around his apartment, Donna finally located Josh's backpack discarded in his bedroom. Needless to say, Donna got out of there as fast as possible. No need to accidentally find another reminder of Amy in Josh's bedroom. NO. That was not something that Donna needed right now. Or ever for that matter.
Emptying out the contents on the kitchen table, Donna mustered up a small false smile. This was exactly what she needed. She needed to lose herself in this work before she lost herself in Josh and her silly silly thoughts. Pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail and pushing up her sleeves, Donna dug in. This was exactly what she need. Work was exactly what she needed. Maybe if she repeated that enough, she would begin to believe it.
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Blinking away the fogged remnants of sleep, Josh slowly sat up and stretched away the knots in his neck. Did he fall asleep? When did he fall asleep? When did he pull this quilt over himself? God, he loved this quilt. It was so soft. Donna bought it for him for Hanukkah. Donna! Donna. Where was Donna? Why did Donna let him sleep?!
Kicking his legs off of the couch, Josh followed the distinctive smell of food and distinct sound of paper rustling. Finding his senses leading him to the kitchen, Josh stopped right at the threshold and shook his head in amazement as she watched Donna work diligently. "You're breaking the rules."
"Joshua!" Donna yelped jumping in her seat. "Don't do that."
"Do what?" Josh asked innocently slipping into the seat beside Donna.
"Scare me like that." Donna reprimanded hitting him on the arm.
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Donna asked rolling her eyes.
"It looks like you're breaking the rules." Josh said eyeing the neat piles of paper spread out over his rarely used kitchen table.
"I'm organizing the chaos that is your life." Donna corrected.
"Rest, Donna." Josh sighed taking the pen out of her restless hand. "You are supposed to rest. Not let me rest."
"Josh, you were tired. So you napped. Big deal. I won't tell." Donna teased.
"Donna," Josh said seriously, "you don't need to do this."
"I know." Donna shrugged. "Honestly, I needed the distraction."
"From what?" Josh asked curiously.
"Nothing." Donna lied quickly. Yeah. Smooth. Why not just take out an add in the Post declaring her love for Josh and hate for Amy? The painkillers were taking away her edge.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Are you hungry?" Donna asked desperate to change the subject. "The food got here awhile ago."
"You didn't eat?" Josh asked noticing the unopened bags. "Why didn't you eat?"
"I thought that I would wait for you." Donna said busying herself with clearing off the table.
"Really?" Josh asked feeling disgustingly pleased.
"Yeah."
"Okay." Josh said taking the papers out of Donna's hands and getting up, "I'll get the plates. You sit right here."
"You're going to serve me?" Donna asked playfully.
"Don't get use to it." Josh laughed.
"I'll try." Donna laughed watching Josh walk around his kitchen grabbing plates and utensils. "You sure you don't want any help?"
"Stay." Josh commanded as he set the table.
"Don't need to tell me twice." Donna laughed.
"How long was I asleep?" Josh asked as he dished out the food.
"An hour. Two tops."
"Did anyone call?" Josh asked popping the plates into his microwave. Sam had promised to call and tell Josh how the meeting with Agriculture went.
"Nope. No one called." Donna replied. She had to bite her tongue from telling Josh to call Amy if he wanted to talk to her.
"Okay." Josh said putting the food down. "Lets eat."
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"Nick at Nite?"
"No."
"Fox?"
"No."
"HBO?"
"I refuse to watch Sex in the City."
"Josh," Donna laughed nudging his shoulder with her, "it's a funny show. It has won numerous awards from..."
"Donna." Josh laughed, "No."
"Fine." Donna sighed.
"CNN?" Josh asked hopefully.
"You'll yell at Aaron Brown." Donna frowned. "I won't watch it you'll yell at Aaron Brown."
"I hate how he pauses while talking." Josh pointed out.
"I know you do." Donna smiled.
"C-Span?"
"No."
"Why not?" Josh asked trying to take the remote from Donna.
"Because I said so." Donna said holding the remote out of reach.
"Good reason." Josh said sarcastically.
"I know." Donna grinned flipping through the channels.
"Stop!"
"Oh no." Donna mocked groaned.
"Donna, it's a perfectly good show. Chalk full of entertainment."
Eyeing Josh skeptically, Donna tried to hide her smile. "Really?"
"Yes." Josh said indignantly.
"Eating roaches is entertaining?"
"No." Josh said watching the Fear Factor logo flash across his screen, "Eating it myself would be gross."
"However watching another person eat it would be exhilarating?" Donna asked.
"Exactly." Josh grinned settling in to watching Fear Factor.
"Okay." Donna laughed. "It's better than listening to you argue with news anchors."
"You don't like listening to me debate with news anchors?" Josh asked with mock hurt. "Donna, that hurts."
"Shut up," Donna laughed hitting him with a pillow. "and watch your stupid show."
"Okay." Josh laughed comfortably seated with Donna at his side. See, this was what he had missed. Sitting with Donna. Just hanging out. Just being them.
"What are you thinking about?"
"What?" Josh asked stupidly.
"You had your thinking face on. What were you thinking about?"
"Thinking face?" Josh asked trying to misdirect Donna.
"Yeah. You get that big crease in your forehead when you're thinking about something."
"Donna, you are way too observant."
Shrugging, Donna watched as a contestant leaped off a moving truck. "I notice things. Sue me."
"I notice things too." Josh offered.
"Like what?" Donna asked looking up at his grinning face.
"Like how tired you are."
"I am not." Donna lied. She was. She was exhausted, but she didn't to leave. Not yet. It had been so long since they had last spent some time together. Donna wasn't ready to let the night end yet. Not yet.
"Yes you are." Josh countered.
"No, I'm not." Donna said stubbornly.
"You've been stifling yawns for the last half an hour." Josh pointed out. "Not to mention the fact that you keep getting that droopy smile on your face."
"What?" Donna asked surprised. What droopy smile?
"And, you keep playing with the edge of your sleeve." Josh continued. See, he could be observant when it came to Donna.
"No I'm not." Donna said hurrying to stop. Anyways, that wasn't because she was sleepy. It was the close proximity of Josh that was causing her to do that.
"I think that it's time for bed."
"Not yet." Donna pouted.
"Yes." Josh said getting up and tugging at Donna's hand.
"How about..."
"No." Josh said leading Donna towards the guestroom. "Sleep. Slumber. Rest, remember?"
"Like you'd let me forget." Donna sighed following Josh.
"I'll see you in the morning." Josh smiling.
"Fine." Donna huffed sitting down in the center of the bed.
"You need anything?"
"No." Donna said smiling softly. "Thank you."
"Okay. Good night." Josh said handing at the door. Not ready to let her out of his sight yet.
"Night."
"I'm just down the hall..."
"I know Josh." Donna smiled climbing under the sheets. "Good night."
"Sweet dreams." Josh grinned.
Watching Josh shut the door softly, Donna pulled the covers tightly around herself. Sleep caught up with her quickly.
Sleeping peacefully, Josh shot awake as a scream pierced the dark night. His feet hit the ground running just as the second scream echoed through his dark apartment.
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Ha! I'm evil I know. *Whoa! Lucy ducks the flying objects* Sorry. Sorry. Evil me. Evil cliff hanger too, I know! ;] I'll post chapter #13 soon. Wow, this is a lot longer than I had originally imagined. Bear with me. I'll post more soon. Feedback makes me write faster. *hint hint* Review please! ;]
-Lucy