By: Raruku-chan
Ingredients: Seifer x Squall (starts as shonen-ai may proceed to june or commonly called Yaoi), OOC, AU, WAFF, retarded humor, with a dash of angst. Mix in some sci-fi fantasy themes and totally improbable events, stir well then serve.
Summary: Enter a world where Seifer is an aloof workaholic in need of a maid. When all of his friends get the brilliant idea of getting him one, he flips out on whom they choose!
Author's Notes: Fun. Um, chapter four. Got this far… almost done. Thanks to everyone who's read this far. I had difficulty writing this chapter b/c it's the one before the last one and I didn't know how to start. I most certainly had difficulty in making Seifer, act like a Seifer… even now I'm still confused o_O;;
I do hope I've written the characters decently. If not, beat me! This chapter has been sitting in my hard drive unfinished and barely touched. Here I go again, writing in hopes of making it readable and enjoyable. I do NOT want to write just to get it done (which was how I felt when I did a trashy job towards the end of Chapter three), I want to write for the sake of writing and put forth a demned good effort… I hope I made sense… >_;; Well, enough babbling! Onward, that is if you haven't bailed out this whole blockage of text. Muah!
Disclaimer: Um, hopefully you know that I don't own Squaresoft or their characters. If you don't then… Seifer and Squall REALLY are lovers and they're living together with 20 cats in a cute little beige cottage with lacey curtains. There, that's the truth. Well, except for the part about the cottage ^_~
~CHAPTER FOUR~
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock… clik…
The small clock on the Formica counters of the kitchen was beginning to grind her nerves. Quistis had left the window side to rip out its batteries. Soon after, she returned to lean against the plush curtains she helped put up when Seifer first moved in.
The others, who usually paraded into Seifer's apartment, sat together on the couch, talking about anything and everything. Selphie expected the best. She figured since the two were so late, they must be making out. Irvine just laughed, while Zell blushed at that thought. The chicken doof wondered if Squall was even equipped for such action. Selphie just snickered and hummed her favorite porno tune.
Quistis merely smiled and shook her head at their discussion. Like everyone in the group, Quistis was curious as to where Seifer and Squall had disappeared. She had been standing by the window, waiting for Seifer and his "dearest" to return.
"Standing there won't make them return faster." Irvine looked over his shoulder to still see Quistis keeping a vigilant watch. The ginger haired metro-cowboy hated to admit it and put a damper on the group, but he too was getting very worried. He opted for a funnier choice of words to mask to anxiety. "Relax, I'm sure Squall is giving our adorable Almasy buttloads of trouble."
"Hee hee… buttloads of trouble. What kinda butt trouble? Does Squall wanna be on top?" Selphie giggled madly. Zell squawked at what he dubbed 'scandalous.'
Quistis sighed. Maybe some tea would help. Standing for a few hours did not do wonders for her already tired feet. She decided to relax, as Irvine had suggested and thereafter, return to her look out post.
No sooner had she left the perimeter, Seifer had walked by and gone to the door. The doorman that generally worked there in the evening times greeted him. It was rather dark and far after the time the police and authorities had come to the grocery store and taken Squall away. Seifer had long resolved on what he should do.
Walking up the stairs, he approached the door to his apartment. His keys jingled a bit as he took them out.
clingcling…click.
A familiar, kindly blonde stood a few feet away from him, making a kettle of Earl Grey Tea. She looked relieved, yet surprised at the same time. Where was the one you left with? Where was he? His expression was unreadable and for a while, she feared to tread any further.
"Ar… are you okay? We were worried." Quistis calmly walked over to him. The laughter of Selphie could be heard in the background.
Seifer looked at her with lack of emotional output. He did not care.
"I'm fine. Listen, I'm hungry. Do you guys want to go out and eat? I'll pay, it'll be my treat." Seifer smiled. Selphie stopped giggling. Irvine looked perplexed, while Zell still muttered about Selphie's indecency.
"Okay. Seifer comes in, minus the humanoid and offers us some eats," the squeaky girl muttered. "Where is the REAL Seifer Almasy and what have you done with him~!?"
Irvine rolled his eyes and took to a more probable answer.
"Don't tell me you sold him and the money you're willing to spend on us is the cash you got off by cashing him in. He was a special model, one of a kind, customized by us…" the cowboy jokingly grumbled.
"Special, customized… huh?" Seifer looked down, his eyes became a bit glassy and unfocused. Force of habit made him reach for the cigarettes Fuujin had given him. He whipped out a lighter and brought the stick to his lips.
click click click click click…snap… click click click…
"Stop, drop the lighter NOW." A hand batted the dried lighter out of his hand. He shivered. The unlit cigarette dropped to the floor.
"Was that virus you gave him… was that virus in him… was that what made him FUCKING special?! You fucking tell me that." The enraged blonde yelled at them. They were, needless to say, shocked.
"Vir…virus? A virus? Why would we install that?!" Selphie's eyes narrowed and she frowned at Seifer. "What happened?"
He slumped to the floor, eyes closing slightly. Images replayed, nothing too vivid, most forgotten and lost in those hours of smoking and wandering.
"Isn't it obvious." Seifer croaked.
"Not obvious enough." Zell muttered. Selphie smacked him.
"Seifer," Selphie walked over to him. Quistis and Irvine stood
close by; Zell grumbled from his spot on the couch, the whole room was
lulled into an uncomfortable silence. "What virus?"
"What the fuck is with all the long faces… he's gone. He's fucking
gone. Good riddance… We should be happy to be rid of him… Stop being so
fucking grave." Seifer reached for the fallen cigarette and empty lighter.
"Seifer, what are you talking about… good riddance? Happiness due to his departure?" Selphie frowned. "Your hysteria doesn't seem to be caused by your elation of his departure… of Squall's departure."
She angrily kicked away his lighter, and then snubbed the unlit cigarette.
"… fuck this… I'm happy without him, I'm fucking ecstatic. Look at me… crying tears…" Seifer growled sourly. Selphie kneeled down in front of him.
"Calm down…" she murmured. "I hate being serious and not childish… but listen to me, you have to calm down and tell us what happened…"
"No…" Seifer hid his face. He tried to curl into a ball, to leave this place. Why should he deal with this? He should give them all a good thrashing and then head back to his paperwork.
"Seifer. Seifer. SEIFER! Drag your sorry head out of your sorry ass NOW. Moping isn't your thing, you snotty whiny little assmunch… Tell us what's wrong or… or… um…" Zell stood there by the couch, hoping for protection. Everyone else had been surrounding the kneeling, pouty Almasy, trying to coax him into telling them his troubles. He didn't really like the venomous way Seifer was glaring at him presently. "Eeeep…"
"Well said." Irvine clapped. Then muttered that Dincht was a dead man.
Seifer stood up and was prepared to vent on Zell… but Selphie stopped him.
"Before you beat the poo outta Zell and straw feed it to him, tell us about this devious virus." Selphie tackled Seifer.
He grumbled. Zell jumped onto couch, latching onto for his life. It was Italian, imported, and leather… Seifer would want to keep blood off the seats.
"What is there to say…" Seifer sighed. "We went to the supermarket, I saw Fuu and Raijin… who was with a man named… Kramer. That man took Squall away. There I said it, now let me rip Zell a new… asshole…"
Seifer sighed again, reminded of Squall by that threat. He remembered, the awkward looks they exchanged when the hot coffee burned Squall and stained his rug. He remembered the faint blush that painted Squall's cheeks in a hue that almost, just almost resembled… love. Quickly as the thought appeared, it was spirited away by an irritated shrug.
"The virus. Virussssssss… like now… tell ussssss…" Selphie was still hanging off his shoulders hissing.
"Fine. Kramer spoke of Paradox Bleu. Happy, good… Get off of me."
Selphie didn't need to be commanded for she just fell off of Seifer. Sinking to the ground, almost bonelessly, she stared at the ground for a bit.
"Paradox Bleu… Paradox Bleu… arrrrrrgh, if only I paid attention." Selphie smacked her forehead a few times.
"Paradox Bleu? Isn't that the same code that we had to sign in to get Squall from the Specials department at L & L lab corporations?" the ginger haired, cowboy dubbed Irvine asked from his position of the steps in front of the door.
"Is Seifer pacified yet? My butt is hurting from all this sitting!" Zell complained. His knuckles were white from gripping to couch seats to hard.
"If you move from that couch, chicken wuss, your ass won't be the only thing hurting when I'm through with you." Seifer growled. The chicken 'eep'-ed again, then buried his head under the seats.
"Paradox Bl… wait! I know people who will get us access to Kramer's labs." The perky girl whooped. "Just gotta call them."
She ran to the nearest phone and began dialing in numbers to pester the people she had mentioned. The minutes that followed had her screaming and squealing at the guys she called. Zell tried to get up from the couch to relieve himself, but refused to go because of the evil way Seifer was leering at him.
"Let me pee!! I'm sorry for telling you to drag your head out of your ass… but you needed to be yelled at!!" he snarled.
Quistis was peacefully sitting in Seifer's kitchen, drinking tea and ignoring her Zell's loud complaints. It was as if nothing terrible, like Squall's disappearance, had happened between the friends.
Selphie slammed the phone down, back onto its base. She smirked triumphantly.
"HAH! Those damned bitches tried to whine their way out… but nothing can get by me. Thought they could ditch all those favors and discounts I gave them. Well, so much for their attempts!" she twirled around. "All rightee… Seifer butt, we're off. Everyone else, stay here… I'll call for back up."
"First, its just… butt, not Seifer butt. Second, where are we going?"
"To save your damsel in distress, butt." She tossed him his coat. Things had gone from serious to… well, whatever it changed to the atmosphere had certainly lightened.
He caught his coat and glared at her… but said nothing against her declaration.
Selphie bounded out the door, the same way his Squall had hours ago. Seifer had dragged up enough emotion and happiness to smile hopefully.
~*~
"Good evening, Doctor Kramer."
"See you tomorrow, doctor Kramer."
"Class will be held in the auditorium, is that correct Professor Kramer?"
"Take care and try not to work too hard, Cid."
"Closing the labs tonight, eh Mister Kramer… be sure to lock and shut things tight, eh? Good night, Mister Kramer, eh."
Colleagues, hospital staff, students, and the lab's cleaning crew had left for the night. Hence, leaving Cid Kramer with his rediscovered experiment, his Paradox Bleu.
The once human, now partly robotic experiment lay barely clothed on the metallic, cold operation table. His eyes were open, unblinking, dilated… and dead looking.
Kramer had long sought the body that held his experiment. It was unfortunate he lost track of the humanoid when it was misplaced into the consumer category at the L & L lab corporations by a computer glitch. The doctor swore he would never lose the humanoid from this point on.
The virus had created what he sought to harvest and harness as weaponry of the millennia. His dreams of creating a bestiary from viruses had finally come true as they were growing and multiplying in the host of Paradox Bleu.
Tomorrow would be a joyous day. Cliché as it sounded to him, Kramer smiled happily, for tomorrow was the day of reckoning. His smile turned cold as he looked at the prostrate humanoid. Squall said nothing, felt nothing… and was nothing to this man.
"Tomorrow." He sighed, petting the humanoid's hair.
~ To Be Continued
rarukuchan says: woohoo! This was… unbeta-ed… I swear.
It probably shows too. I was going to release chapter 5 and 4 at the same
time… but I decided "screw it, exam time calls and I must haul ass. I've
held this off for far too long, time for fic post-age."
It sucks, but hell… it's up. Good riddance… ahahahaha, okies. Off to
study and I will be trying to get 5 out by next week. Woohoo! Then I'm
done with my first fic!